It's a long way down.
First of all, there's a Light Side and Dark Side. Understand? Good. Those are the only things that need to be known. Besides, everyone knows about the Dark and Light. The Light is the good side; the Dark is the bad side. I know it. Everyone knows it.
Anyway, that's not even important. The important thing is there's a tunnel, understand? There's a tunnel between the Light and the Dark. It's a solid thing. Even though the Dark and the Light aren't solid, it's there. It's an invisible solid tube. I can still see it in my mind, the clear connecting transparent tube between the Dark and the Light. The Light is on top, understand? Because the Light is good, and the Dark is bad, and good things are supposed to be first.
It's a long way down, from the Light to the Dark. It's supposed to be that way. A Jedi isn't supposed to be able to fall all the way down the tunnel, from the top to the bottom, because it's such a long way. And there are handholds along the tunnel, too, to catch yourself. You can always stop yourself from falling all the way down. The tunnel was built that way, to stop from falling.
But that doesn't make sense, because people have fallen. Now, I don't understand how a long tunnel full of handholds can allow people to fall to the Dark. The Masters say you can always stop yourself, but I know people have fallen. Vader fell down the tunnel. Why didn't he stop himself? The tunnel is full of handholds. You should be able to.
Maybe he just didn't reach out a hand, didn't reach for the handholds. Those handholds are supposed to be gravel and solid, easy to grip with fingers. That's what the Masters say. You can always stop yourself. Why didn't he? The tunnel is supposed to be really long, isn't it? That's enough time to get your bearing and reach out a hand. Why didn't he?
I wonder where the tunnel is. I heard the Masters whispering about Vader falling on someplace called Geonosis. I saw Master Kenobi come back, clutching his burned arm. Maybe the place is a land of fire. Where else could he get burned? Maybe the tunnel is in a land of fire, where it's harder to get to, so you can't fall. Why was Vader so determined to get to the tunnel? It probably meant he had to go through the land of fire. Surely it hurt. Surely Master Kenobi tried to stop him.
Master Kenobi was Anakin Skywalker's Master, but Anakin doesn't come by here anymore. I don't see him wandering around camp. But then again, maybe he can't find the camp. We move so much now. I get tired of it all. I like being in one place. Maybe then Anakin will find us. He was my friend when the Wars started. He liked coming to the Clan room and tinkering with our little lightsabers. He liked mine, he said, because it was purple. He said he valued individuality, because he was in a place where everything was tan and cream and blue and green.
Whatever that means.
I didn't understand him then, and I still don't. But he liked me best. He liked coming to talk to me and tell me stories of a beautiful woman in a faraway land. Whenever he was in the Temple, he told me stories about her, about the mysterious woman who saved her people. He seemed different then. More relaxed. The war took a lot from him, from everyone. Nobody liked the war. I don't even know why it's going on. War is so stupid. You can stop everything with a word, but they all like to fight. I don't know why. It made Anakin sad, and he was different when he was sad.
But he still liked me best, and that never changed. When he stopped visiting, I asked Master Kenobi where he was, and he just muttered something about falling and Geonosis. I didn't know about the tunnel then. When the Masters spoke of it a few weeks later, I understood: Anakin had fallen down the tunnel, but he would be back. He just had to fall for a little while.
You can't fall all the way down the tunnel. You can grab the handholds. You can stop yourself from falling into the Dark.
That was before, though. Before they raided the Temple. I saw Vader, and I hated him. But I wasn't supposed to, understand? A Jedi isn't supposed to hate, right? But I did. He was dressed in black, and I knew it: he had hurt Anakin. I knew it just by looking at him, and the Force encouraged me. I wanted to yell at him, but Master Yoda ushered us away.
I didn't know they were killing everyone in the Temple. I didn't realize they were massacring every living thing inside. So many died, and I knew all of them. The Masters urge understanding between everything, a family bond between all. I knew them through that, and I hated feeling their deaths through the Force, echoing so loudly in my head it could have been a drum.
I don't like thinking about that now. I don't like thinking about Vader or the tunnel. Vader fell down the tunnel without trying to stop himself. How can you do that? How can you not just stop yourself from sliding down it? I don't understand it, I don't! It's supposed to have handholds and it's supposed to be long. You're supposed to be able to stop yourself.
Why didn't he stop himself?
I don't understand.
I want to see the tunnel one day, and make sure the Masters aren't lying. I want to see the handholds and see the fact that it's long. It's supposed to be transparent, but I should see it through the Force. The Masters say you can see anything through the Force.
It's supposed to be a long way down that tunnel.
I guess it's not long enough.
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