The two women parted ways in the courtyard. Beru
returned to her own cot and pretended to sleep. Padmé went to the garage. She
did not return to Beru’s room that night.
Beru waited until morning before she made her way to the garage. Tatoo I
edged the horizon and cast long shadows into the dim garage. Her eyes slowly
adjusted to the darkness and she just drew back in time to not step on their
They lay facing each other. Padmé’s arms were wrapped tightly around Anakin
Skywalker in an embrace that both sheltered and restrained. One hand rested on
his cheek. They were wrapped against the cold in the warmth of her robe. Anakin
Skywalker’s face was hidden against Padmé’s shoulder but Beru could see Padmé’s
face in the shadows of the room and it was lined with the marks of tears.
Silently, so as not to wake him, Beru whispered: “Padmé.” Her friend stirred
but did not wake. She tried again. “Padmé.” Tentatively, she reached out a hand
to touch Padmé’s shoulder and it was snatched away abruptly by a steel-like
grip. Startled, her eyes flew from the grip to Anakin Skywalker's face. She
He was staring right at her. He looked wide-awake and just awoken at the same
time. His face was unreadable.
“Don’t wake her,” he whispered. He released her wrist and Beru recoiled.
Anakin Skywalker watched her with those eyes that were at once familiar and
strange. Beru swallowed her fear. “It’s almost dawn,” she took care to whisper.
“Father Cliegg wants to start … making preparations.” She tried to read his
face. “They wanted you to be the one to choose the site for…” Frightened, her
voice trailed away helplessly.
Mother Shmi’s son’s gaze had turned inwards; he stared at Beru, but she could
tell that he was revisiting his grief in his mind. His hands had reached for
Padmé without seeming to mean to. He smoothed the hair back from her temples and
ran his thumbs down her cheeks. She did not stir. Beru watched his face and
noted the changes - where it had darkened with stubble and rage and the lines of
grief that seemed to have been permanently etched into his skin.
His presence seemed to return when he watched Padmé. “She is exhausted,” he
said. His voice was quietly lifeless.
“She did not sleep that night - after you left,” Beru explained. She watched
the tenderness in his face as he looked at Padmé and tried to reconcile it with
the face in her nightmare.
“Where did she sleep?” Still stroking, the movement of his hands was almost
“In my room. She slept with me.”
Anakin looked up from Padmé’s face. His smile was at once glad and bitter.
“You took care of her. Thank you.”
The tilt of the left corner of the lip. The way the eyes narrowed and the
brows furrowed ever so slightly. The grateful, painful smile.
It was Mother Shmi's smile whenever she spoke of her son Ani.
Had spoken of.
Beru’s eyes stung.
Anakin was pulling himself out of Padmé’s embrace; she started mumbling
something but he rose up and lifted her up into his arms, cradled her like a
child, and she fell silent.
“She needs to sleep.” It was a request.
Beru led him out of the garage and across the courtyard. The shadows had
barely shortened; she looked away from the sun and could make out Owen riding
away on the back of his speeder. Fear gripped her and she tried to cast it
The hallway was hot after the cool garage. Beru led Anakin past the homestead
kitchen and the room where Mother Shmi had slept with Father Cliegg (Anakin’s
shoulders seemed to shake but she was not sure), Owen’s room, sleeping pad
carefully placed in one corner of the naviroom and finally they were stepping
into the cool dusty air of the storeroom.
There was still a pile of blankets on Beru's sleeping pad. As tenderly as if
she were a baby, Anakin placed Padmé into the folds of the cot and tucked the
blankets around her. He sat beside her, and his fingers continued their
ministrations on her face.
“I don’t want her to come down to the funeral.” He told Beru in his soft,
dead voice. “She needs to sleep. You will watch over her for me.”
“Of course,” Beru replied although it had not been a request.
Padmé stirred again, her left foot pulling out of the blanket. Tentatively,
Beru sat at the bottom of the cot and placed it back. She looked up to see that
Anakin’s eyes had finally lifted from Padmé and were now staring at the wooden
circle that hung from the only window. It was a charm circle. The handiwork
would have been familiar to him.
“It was my engagement gift, last Harvest.” Beru answered the unspoken
question; she lifted her hand so that he could see the tourmaline stone on her
ring finger. “I was supposed to be here to just help with the work. But, my
mother … she did not think I needed to come back.” She swallowed back her
bitterness. “At the end of the harvest, Owen proposed; Mother Shmi baked and we
had a small party. Later, she gave me the charm circle.”
He threw her fleeting glances, but his attention was still divided between
Padmé and the charm circle.
He stood up and looked at it. The window faced north and away from the sun
and the charm circle cast pale shadows against his face. They recalled to Beru
the demons in her nightmare.
She watched his hands as they touched the wood - Mother Shmi’s hands - long,
slender and remarkably strong.
The silence was hungry, waiting for more.
“She spoke about you the first time I ever met her,” Beru said gently. “She
was always talking about you. She missed you, but she was so proud and happy for
you, too. And she was happy. Father Cliegg loved her. We all loved her - Owen
and me; I wished she had been my Mother not...” Her voice broke off with
Anakin Skywalker’s hands had tightened on the charm circle. Before Beru’s
eyes, it actually seemed to bend.
“I’m sorry,” Beru whispered. “I didn’t mean…”
“Not mine?” He asked in that dead voice, finishing her sentence. The demon
face of her nightmare flashed in her mind.
“Not mine,” she said the truth as firmly as she could through her
fear. “Not my Mother who didn’t want me.” You were the centre of her
universe. Nobody could replace you. She wanted to say the words aloud but
she didn’t have the courage. So she shared her pain because she knew it would
The hands holding the wooden circle shook and she wondered if he had somehow
heard anyway. Very carefully, he placed the circle back in its space in the
window. Then he turned to look at her with the eyes of the woman that Beru had
wanted to be her mother.
Anakin Skywalker did not thank her but his gratitude filled the dusty
storeroom and knotted like a chain around Beru’s chest.
He bent over Padmé once to touch her. Then he turned and left the room.
Beru waited until the sound of his footsteps had faded away completely. Then
she drew closer to Padmé and tucked the blankets about her carefully. Her friend
stirred and without Anakin to soothe her, Beru watched helplessly as Padmé
struggled with her own nightmares before she fell silent once more.
Except on the second day, when Father Cliegg had returned with the evidence
of the abduction, Beru had not wept for the past thirty days. The desert longed
for water. If she cried, it would eat her tears. She caught the first drop
before it fell on Padmé. She trapped the rest behind her hands.
Shoulders shaking silently, she remained like that for a long
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