The Other Woman (PG-13)

By : Darth Lothi

Archived on: Sunday, May 12, 2002

A very short, sad Anakin/Vader vignette. He muses over Padme and his reasons for leaving her.

Just because I left you doesn't mean that I love you any less.

It simply means I love another more.

Perhaps love is not the right word. It doesn't begin to describe these feelings. Obsession, maybe. Or addiction. It's a rush unlike anything I've ever known. Better than drink, better than spice, even better than sex.

The Dark Side is my mistress. She is powerful. Demanding.

It started innocently enough. Some flirting here, a light touch there. I was drawn in before I knew it. Lured by her siren song, one that spoke of a power beyond any I had ever imagined. She was so quick, so easy. Always there when I needed her.

Before long, those brief encounters were not enough. The more I touched the Dark Side, the more I longed for her cold embrace. She whispered to me at all hours, beckoning me to join her, to immerse myself within her fully. I gave in to that call. The feeling of all that power resonating through my body is the closest thing to pure ecstasy I've ever experienced. With it, I can do anything. Be anything.

And to think that this began with a simple desire: to make myself more worthy of you. I saw the things and the opportunities you missed; I saw everything you gave up to be with me. I didn't want you to think you had made a mistake. I thought that being more powerful would make me more deserving of you. I thought that you would love me more. I was wrong. In seeking to become more deserving of your love, I have become someone to be despised. I've destroyed everything.

I know I don't deserve you, but I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Every day apart from you, from your Light, causes another part of me to wither and die. More than anything, I just want to be with you. I want to see your smile. I want to hear your laugh. I want to breathe in your perfume. I want to bask in your Light and feel alive again.

The Dark Side, however, is a jealous mistress. I had to choose. In the end, her seductive melody was too much to resist. Being with you allowed the Light in, and I could not fully embrace her beautiful, terrible potential. So I had to leave. But my soul remains with you, and I stand here an empty shell of a man.

But even now, there is untapped power that I cannot reach, and it is your fault. No matter how vile my emotions, or how depraved my acts, part of you remains with me. There is a small flicker of light, your Light, deep within me that I cannot extinguish. And for that, my mistress holds herself back from me, depriving me of absolute mastery over her.

In spite of my mistress, you're all I think about. When I lie awake at night, that flicker of Light burns brighter as I recall the warmth of your arms, the softness of your body, and the depth of your love. A love that demanded nothing, except to be returned. In seeking to give you more, I lost you. I lost everything I had. Including myself.

So now, when I lie awake missing you, I seek solace in the embrace of my Other Woman. But hers is a cold, cold comfort.

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