TheForce.Net's Fan Fiction Archive

Dealing with Red Ink: Writing with a Beta

A writer shares the experience of a comprehensive beta reading.

The author would like to thank JadeSaber and Mcily_Nochi for lending their magnificent skills with the red ink to this article. If you two weren't such fantastically generous people, I would never be able to afford your services!

I used to think that betas were for wimps.

When I started writing fan fiction, I never gave a thought to enlisting a beta's help. In fact, I had never heard of beta readers. Thinking that all a beta did was read and point out typos, I figured that I could edit things for myself with a purely objective eye. After all, I had been a tutor for students in rhetoric and creative writing, so I knew how to proofread. Like a lot of new writers, though certainly not all, I had the arrogance to think that no beta could help me.

I still like to flatter myself by thinking that I had more substance behind that arrogance than most, but man, was I ever wrong.

About three months into my fanfic writing career, I was asked to beta for an author on the fanfic board at the Jedi Council Forums. Having extensive experience in tutoring, I agreed, thinking that I could impart some of my manifold wisdom to a new writer. I got quite a shock when I realized that I could see my own mistakes amplified in this new writer's work. It was then that I remembered something I had learned early on in my tutoring experience: You learn the most about yourself by teaching someone else.

At that point, I humbly went looking for a beta.

Since then, I've worked with nine betas, and I've finally found four who really give me the kind of feedback that I want. In talking with other authors, I've found that those kinds of numbers aren't unusual when searching for betas. Often a beta just disappears in the middle of a project. Other times, the beta tells the author that he wants to edit the story but never replies after that. The experience I've had, more often than not, is that the feedback just isn't helpful. Several beta readers have given me nothing but fluffy comments about what they liked, without correcting anything. While this kind of encouragement is desirable, especially to a new author, it doesn't satisfy the qualities of a good beta read.

So what are the qualities of a good beta? I submit to you that there are four things that an author should look for while in the search for a beta.

First, and probably most obviously, a beta reader should be strong in spelling, grammar, and nuances of the language. While I do not recommend that a beta reader work solely as a proofreader, proofreading is an extremely important function of the job. This part of the job requires careful attention to details in the story when first beginning to beta for an author. Once the author and beta have worked together for a while, the beta learns to look for certain types of mistakes. (The one that my betas know to look for now is mixing up personal pronouns - I hate those things.) The author's mastery of mechanics is a pivotal part of a story's acceptance at an archive like this, so proofreading is an essential part of beta reading.

However, as important as a mastery of mechanics is, skill with mechanics alone does not constitute good writing and therefore cannot guarantee that a story will be accepted at a juried fan fiction archive. The beta should be able to advise on issues of style. If an author uses only one sentence structure throughout the story, it's extremely unlikely that the story will be accepted. Also, the narrative should be in the same spirit as the plot. After all, if the plot is funny but the narration reads like an army field manual, the story is unlikely to hold interest for very long.

Once the basic ideas of writing - any kind of writing - are addressed, the beta should then look to the more specialized ideas of fan fiction writing. The beta should have a strong working knowledge of the characters, times, and places involved in the story. For example, while I would feel perfectly comfortable editing a story set in the New Jedi Order era, I would not be able to beta a story in the Jedi Apprentice series, since I haven't read any of the books. Any skills I may have in proofreading and style won't help if I know nothing about Obi-Wan as a teenager.

Finally, and in my opinion, most importantly, a beta reader must be able and willing to tactfully tell his opinion of the story. While I like getting comments like "Wow, that was a great line!" or "Your characterization of Luke is dead on," these comments don't help me much as a writer. I like my betas to rip things apart, to give me detailed analyses of what works and what doesn't, along with giving me options for improvements to what I've written. After all, your beta isn't there to love the story and be your cheerleader. True, it's great to get that kind of feedback, but it's not as helpful as an honest appraisal of your work.

This is a lot to ask of a single person, and very few people are spectacularly strong in all these areas. As such, it's important to work with more than one beta on a project. Whereas one beta may be an excellent proofreader but not well versed in Expanded Universe details, another may be a wealth of EU characterization, plots, and places while not as gifted with mechanics and style. These two, working in tandem on the same story, would satisfy the needs of the author while also giving the author two opinions of the same text.

What follows is the opening scene of a story I'm working on. After the first draft of the post, the beta reports of JadeSaber and Mcily_Nochi will appear, along with the edited version of the post. I hope this demonstrates one way in which authors and betas interact. After all, writing becomes a team project of the author and betas, and cooperative interaction is a must.

A gentle breeze swept through the Senator's bedchamber, teasing the curtains on the transparisteel doors to the balcony and leaves of plants on pedestals throughout the room. The rich scent of Theed's gardens filled the darkened room, giving the Senator the feeling of home that she had missed in her time away from Naboo. Sliding her slippers off her feet, she let her toes dig into the plush carpet, trying to remove herself from her political identity and be Padmé once more.

Taking a few steps to the left, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Though she had changed out of her formal attire, her hair was still piled on top of her head. Idly she realized that her hair wasn't much different than it had been in her stay on Tatooine ten years before, when she had been a Queen dressed as a handmaiden and had captured a little boy's heart.

A smile crept onto Padmé's features as she recalled the events of the day. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had arrived on Naboo that afternoon, bringing news from the Chancellor while the Senate was out of session. Padmé hadn't seen either of them in ten years, but she still recognized Anakin easily - and it was obvious that he was still very much captivated by her.

Padmé reached up into her hair and pulled out the ornamental sticks that held her hair in place. Dark brown locks cascaded down her back, curly wisps framing her pale face. Absentmindedly she picked up her hairbrush and began combing through her hair. She tried to focus on the news that the Jedi had brought to her, but her mind kept wandering back to Anakin.

Suddenly an object near the balcony doors fell with a crash. She jumped up and spun around, wishing vainly that she had a more lethal weapon in her hand than a hairbrush. With no other options, she launched it at the tall, dark shape at the door.

The brush abruptly curved out of its natural path and into the hand of the intruder. Immediately Padmé knew who he was. "Anakin!" she reprimanded. "Don't ever do that again!"

"Sorry, milady," a smooth, musical voice replied.The clouds apparently shifted, because more moonlight filtered into the room, casting Anakin's features into a sharp relief. A thought wandered through her mind that if she had to have a late-night visit from someone, Anakin would be the one she would choose. She tried to banish the idea from her head, but the Jedi had picked up on it. He smiled roguishly.

"Anakin, what are you doing here?" Padmé asked, trying to convey as much exasperation as possible.

"I came to see you," he replied easily, as if that was the most obvious think in the world.

Padmé sighed. "Why can't you use doors and corridors like normal people?"

"This is more fun, milady," he said.

She was slightly annoyed that he was so obviously trying to placate her, and she was even more annoyed that it was working so well. Eventually a smile came unbidden to her lips. "It's good to see you again, Anakin," she said softly.

"And you, milady." Anakin bowed slightly. "You look beautiful tonight."

Uncharacteristically, he began to blush, looking more like the boy she had met ten years before than the man he had become. Padmé smiled at his uncertainty. He took a step forward cautiously, stepping into the shadows of the room. "I- I wanted to tell you how glad I am to see you again."

Padmé's smile spread, and she stepped forward and took his hands in hers. "I'm glad to see you again too," she replied. "But couldn't this have waited till morning?"

He pulled one hand out of hers and touched her hair. "But then I would have missed seeing this..."

It suddenly struck her that Anakin was the first man in years to see her hair free of headdresses and ornaments that she wore in public. He ran his hand through her hair, obviously captivated by it. His blue eyes, full of warmth, met hers, and she squeezed his hand gently. With her other hand, she touched his cheek, feeling stubble forming on his smooth jaw.

His gaze dropped from hers, and Padmé leaned forward and kissed him on an impulse.

She never knew if he'd seen it coming, and in her memories Padmé liked to believe that he hadn't. The kiss was as gentle and sweet as the breeze that blew around them, and Padmé felt that she would never have enough of Anakin's touch.

All too soon, Anakin pulled away. A smile formed on his face, and he asked, "If I come here tomorrow night, will I get the same reward?"

Padmé rolled her eyes. "Leave before the guards show up and ask questions, Anakin."

He gave her a look of mock pain, but she pointed at the balcony door. "Out."

He bowed again. "Yes, milady."

Pulling his hand out of hers, he stepped through the doorway and disappeared into the night.

Padmé closed the door behind him and locked it, watching him float down to the ground before drawing the curtains. Slowly she walked to her bed and pulled back the covers. When she climbed into bed and pulled the heavy comforter over her, she realized how warm she was, despite the cool temperature of the room. The covers wouldn't be necessary tonight.

Mcily_Nochi's comments in the following are in purple; my comments are in red.

Padmé reached up into her hair and pulled out the ornamental sticks that held her hair in place. The word 'hair' is redundant here. Perhaps: "into her hair and pulled out the ornamental sticks that held it in place". She's right, of course. My phrasing is redundant; her phrasing works better. Dark brown locks cascaded down her back, curly wisps framing her pale face. Absentmindedly she I would switch the order of these around to "She absentmindedly" just to keep the syntax smoother. Yeah, that's a lot smoother. picked up her hairbrush and began combing through her hair. She tried to focus on the news that the Jedi had brought to her, but her mind kept wandering back to Anakin.

I think you need to go into a little more depth about her thoughts here. Anakin's arrival and subsequent kiss are rather sudden when you don't make the attraction very clear from the start.

Heh, I guess I was a little too subtle at the beginning. That's another thing I need to seriously work on.

Suddenly an object near the balcony doors fell with a crash. She jumped up and spun around, wishing vainly that she had a more lethal weapon in her hand than a hairbrush. I love that! With no other options, she launched it at the tall, dark shape at the door.

The brush abruptly curved out of its natural path and into the hand of the intruder. Immediately Padmé knew who he was. "Anakin!" she reprimanded. Is she annoyed with him? Is she pleased to see him? Describe her feelings with a little more detail here. "Don't ever do that again!"

Hmm, I thought that her annoyance was kind of obvious.

"Sorry, milady," a smooth, musical voice replied.

The clouds apparently shifted, because more moonlight filtered into the room, casting Anakin's features into a sharp relief. A thought wandered through her mind that if she had to have a late-night visit from someone, Anakin would be the one she would choose. She tried to banish the idea from her head, but the Jedi had already picked up on it. He smiled roguishly.

"Anakin, what are you doing here?" Padmé asked, trying to convey as much exasperation as possible but . . . .

"I came to see you," he replied easily, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

Padmé sighed. "Why can't you use doors and corridors like normal people?"

"This is more fun, milady," he said. Is he hiding a smile here, or is his face completely serious? Oh, he's definitely hiding a smile.

She was slightly annoyed that he was so obviously trying to placate her, and she was even more annoyed that it was working so well. Eventually Eventually meaning . . . what? After a moment of struggle? After an hour of staring at each other? Details! a smile came unbidden to her lips. "It's good to see you again, Anakin," she said softly.

"And you, milady." Anakin bowed slightly. "You look beautiful tonight."

Padmé glanced down at her nightgown, a simple burgundy shift that touched her ankles and covered by a soft silver overlay. It was nothing special to Padmé, who had worn far more elaborate nightgowns in her tenure as Queen, but then, Anakin would most likely think her beautiful if she was wearing a synthfiber sack. "Thank you, Anakin," she replied finally. "Did you have something to say to me?" It seems she's already said something to him. Maybe this would work better: "So, did you come here for a reason, or just to frighten me out of my wits?" Or something like that.

Uncharacteristically, he began to blush, looking more like the boy she had met ten years before than the man he had become. Padmé smiled at him uncertainty. He took a step forward cautiously I think this would work better as: "He took a cautious step forward". , stepping Redundant! Perhaps "entering" or "emerging" Redundancy seems to have plagued me when I wrote this.... into the shadows of the room. "I- I wanted to tell you how glad I am to see you again."

Padmé's smile spread, and she stepped forward and took his hands in hers. "I'm glad to see you again too," she replied. "But couldn't this have waited till morning?"

He pulled one hand out of hers and touched her hair. "But then I would have missed seeing this..."

His gaze dropped from hers, and Padmé leaned forward and kissed him on an impulse.

All too soon, Anakin pulled away. A smile formed on his face, and he asked, "If I come here tomorrow night, will I get the same reward?"

Padmé rolled her eyes. "Leave before the guards show up and ask questions, Anakin."

He gave her a look of mock pain, but she pointed at the balcony door. "Out."

He bowed again. "Yes, milady."

Pulling his hand out of hers, he stepped through the doorway and disappeared into the night.

JadeSaber's comments in the following are in green; my comments are in red.

A gentle breeze swept through the Senator's bedchamber, teasing the curtains on the transparisteel doors that led I have a better idea.... that opened to the balcony, I don't like this comma she added and leaves of the plants perhaps, "which stood, or sat upon" on pedestals throughout the room. Perhaps start this "the breeze carried the rich scent… which filled…" Ooh, I like! The rich scent of Theed's gardens filled the darkened room, giving the Senator the feeling of home that she had missed in her time away from Naboo. I think that perhaps, somewhere in here, she would breathe in deeply, to savor the scents of home, (and add something about her being thankful that the Senate session was over for continuity's sake) maybe as she slides the slippers from her feet. Right... Sliding her slippers off her feet, she let her toes dig her toes don't have a mind of their own, so I would suggest changing this to "she dug her toes into the plush carpet." into the plush carpet, trying to relax and remove herself? remove herself from her political identity and be Padmé once more.

I think that here, instead of saying that she stepped to the left, since she goes to look at herself in the mirror, perhaps you could say "Padmé moved to her dressing table, and sat down." (Adding sat down gives you continuity later, when you have her jump up) Taking a few steps to the left, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Though she had changed out of her formal attire, her hair was still piled on top of her head. I think you need to make her more reflective as she takes her hair down. "As Padmé studied her reflection in the mirror, her gaze was drawn to her hair, which was still intricately piled atop her head. Idly she realized that her hair wasn't much different what is it about her hair that isn't much different? Is it the style? Is it the color? Is it the ornamentation of her hair? Oops, that really doesn't make much sense, come to think of it... Hmm, I think I'll be able to work that it better later, come to think of it. than it had been in her stay on Tatooine ten years before, when she had been a Queen dressed as a handmaiden and had captured a little boy's heart.

I think here, that the transition from the previous paragraph would be smoother, if you said something like "Thinking of Tatooine and that little boy, caused a smile to creep onto Padmé's features and brought to mind the events of the day." I'm glad she suggested that. I think these opening paragraphs were weak and lacked continuity. A smile crept onto Padmé's features as she recalled the events of the day. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had arrived on Naboo that afternoon, bringing news from the Chancellor while the Senate was out of session. Padmé hadn't seen either of them in ten years, but she I don't think that "still" works here, try instead "had" still implies that he still looks like a nine year old still recognized Anakin easily - and it was obvious that he was still very much captivated by her. How is his being captivated with her evident? I think it would be more appropriate here to discuss what her feelings were upon seeing him again. This is from her POV, so we don't know what's going through Anakin's head.

Try adding: "As she thought about the day's events," Padmé reached up into her hair and pulled out the ornamental sticks that held her hair in place. Dark brown locks cascaded down her back, curly wisps framing her pale face. Absentmindedly she picked up her hairbrush and began combing through her hair. She tried to focus on the news that the Jedi had brought to her the beginning of this statement is inconsistent with her "becoming Padmé once more," as she is trying to do earlier on in the story… keep her mind on Anakin, but her mind kept wandering back to Anakin.

I think you should rearrange this, try something like: "A loud crash sounded from outside the balcony doors, startling Padmé out of her reverie" Suddenly an object near the balcony doors fell with a crash. She jumped up (this is where you need to have her sitting down earlier on) and spun around, wishing vainly that she had a more lethal weapon rearrange this to read "she held a weapon more lethal than her hairbrush" in her hand than a hairbrush. With no other options, she launched it at the tall, dark shape try adding: "that had appeared" at the door. Would she perhaps start to back towards for the com unit to summon the guards?

The brush abruptly curved out of its natural path and into the hand of the intruder. Immediately Padmé knew who it, not he he was. "Anakin!" she reprimanded. "Don't ever do that again!"

"I'm Sorry, milady," Nope, it's staying as "Sorry, milady." a smooth, musical voice replied. "Smooth and musical" makes it sound somewhat feminine, try adding a modifier like tenor or bass Hmm, I hadn't thought of it that way.

Instead of "the clouds apparently shifted," try something like: "The gentle breeze gusted, shifting the clouds in the night sky, filling the area around the balcony doors with moonlight, which cast Anakin's features into sharp relief." The clouds apparently shifted, because more moonlight filtered into the room, casting Anakin's features into a sharp relief. A thought wandered through her mind Why does the thought wander through her mind? What effect does seeing Anakin in the moonlight have on her? How does she feel? that if she had to have a late-night visit from someone, Anakin would be the one she would choose. She tried to banish the idea from her head, but the Jedi had apparently picked up on it. He smiled roguishly. What effect does his smile have on her?

"Anakin, what emphasize "what," it will help to convey the exasperation are you doing here?" Padmé asked, trying to convey as much exasperation as possible.

"I came to see you," he replied easily, as if that was the most obvious think thing in the world.

Padmé sighed. "Why can't you just use doors and corridors like normal people?"

"This is more fun, milady," he said. I see him saying this with a cocky grin or a wink or something to affirm that he is trying to placate her I think.

She was slightly annoyed that he was so obviously trying to placate her, and she was even more annoyed that it was working so well. Eventually take out eventually, start the sentence with "A" a smile came unbidden to her lips. "It's I don't see Padmé saying "It's" I would instead see her saying "It is" with an emphasis on "is" good to see you again, Anakin," she said softly.

"And you, milady." I think it would sound more natural for Anakin to say "It's good to see you too, milady" Anakin bowed slightly. "You look beautiful tonight."

Padmé glanced down at her nightgown, it was a simple burgundy shift that touched her ankles, and was covered by a soft silver overlay Is the overlay part of the night gown, or is it a robe?. This next passage sounds a bit snootty coming from Padmé's POV. Try something like "Padmé smiled as she regarded the simple gown. In comparison to the elaborate nightgowns she had worn during her tenure as Queen, it was quite plain, however Anakin…" and finish with the bit about "synthfiber" It was nothing special to Padmé, who had worn far more elaborate nightgowns in her tenure as Queen, but Anakin would most likely think her beautiful if she was wearing a synthfiber sack. You need some action here, how about, she raised her eyes to his. "Thank you, Anakin," she replied finally. "Did you have something to say to me?" Whoa! What happened to Padmé? That last line was dripping with snootiness. Oops, didn't mean that to come off quite like that. Try "Did you come all the way here just to tell me how good it was to see me again" she asked with a smile "or is there something that you need to speak with me about?"

Uncharacteristically remove uncharacteristically, Padmé hasn't seen him in ten years, so she has no knowledge of what is in character for him at this point in his life, he Anakin, not he began to blush, looking more like the boy whose heart she had captured ten years before, than the man that boy had become. she had met ten years before than the man he had become. Padmé smiled at his uncertainty. He took a step forward cautiously stepping into the shadows of the room. The sentence is awkward, try: "Cautiously, he took a step forward, moving into the shadows of the room.", "I- I just wanted to tell you how glad I am to see you again."

Padmé's smile spread, end the sentence at "spread" Start a new one with "She" and she stepped forward and took his hands in hers. "I'm glad to see you again too," she replied. "But couldn't this have waited until, I don't see Padmé saying "till" till morning?"

How about having him acknowledge her question with something like "I suppose so" and then continue with the rest I'll see if I can work that in. He pulled one hand out of hers and touched her hair. "But then I would have missed seeing this..."

"As he touched her hair, it struck Padmé, that" It suddenly struck her that Anakin was the first man in years to see her hair free of the headdresses and ornaments that she wore in public. He ran his hand through her hair, obviously how is it obvious? What is he doing, just running the hair through his fingers? Does he rub it between his thumb and index finger? captivated by it. His blue eyes, full of warmth, met hers, and she squeezed his hand gently. With her "free" not "other" other hand, she touched his cheek, feeling the stubble forming remove "forming" on his smooth his jaw can't have stubble on it and be smooth at the same time, try "strong jaw" Oops. jaw.

Anakin's not his His gaze dropped from hers, and put "on an impulse" here Padmé rose up on her toes (she's shorter than he is) and kissed his lips. leaned forward and kissed him on an impulse.

She never knew if he'd "he had", not "he'd" seen it coming, "but" not "and" and in her memories, Padmé liked to believe that he hadn't. The kiss was as gentle and sweet as the breeze that blew around them, and Padmé felt that she would never have enough of Anakin's touch. How do they react during the kiss? Does he wrap his arms around her, or does he continue to stand there with her hair in his hand? Does he move his hand to be base of her neck? Does she throw her arms around his neck, or does she stand there with her hand against his cheek?

All too soon, Anakin pulled away. How does he pull away? Gently? Slowly? A smile formed on his face, and he asked, "If I return, not "come here" come here tomorrow night, will I get the same reward?" I don't think reward works, try "result" or something of that nature.

Padmé rolled her eyes. "Leave before the guards show up and ask questions, Anakin." If you want to use this, I think you should have some reason for the guards to be showing up and asking questions. Perhaps you could have them doing routine patrol that brings them by the balcony on a regular basis, so have her check a chrono before she says it. Something like: "Anakin! The guards will be coming through on their rounds shortly. You need to leave before they show up. If they catch you, they'll ask questions, and you'll be arrested."

He gave her a look of mock pain, but she pointed at the balcony door. "Out."

He bowed again. "Yes, milady." I think it'd be cute if he kissed her hand as he bowed.

Pulling his hand out of hers, he stepped through the doorway and disappeared into the night.

If he disappears into the night, you can't have her watch him float down to the ground in the next paragraph. You can put it all here though. Something like "Pulling his hand from hers, Anakin stepped through the doorway, and out onto the balcony.

Padmé watched as he vaulted over the railing, and floated gently to the ground. She smiled, when Anakin turned and looked up at the doorway before he disappeared into the night." If you change the above paragraph, this needs to be changed too. Something like "Once the darkness swallowed him, Padme gently closed the balcony door and locked it." Padmé closed the door behind him and locked it, watching him float down to the ground before drawing the curtains. Slowly she walked to her bed and pulled back the covers. When she climbed into bed and pulled the heavy comforter over her, she realized how warm she was, despite the cool temperature of the room. The covers wouldn't be necessary I would remove tonight, and end the sentence here. Adding tonight screws up the tenses. tonight.

A gentle breeze swept through the Senator's bedchamber, teasing the curtains on the transparisteel doors that opened to the balcony and leaves of the plants resting on pedestals throughout the room. The wind carried rich scents up from Theed's gardens, filling the darkened room and giving the Senator the feeling of home that she had missed in her time away from Naboo. She inhaled deeply, savoring the scents of home, grateful that the Senate session was over. Sliding her slippers off her feet, she dug her toes into the plush carpet, trying to relax, remove herself from her political identity, and be Padmé once more.

Moving to her dressing table a few steps to her left, Padmé looked at her reflection in the mirror as she took her seat on a padded stool. Studying her reflection, her eyes were drawn to her hair, still intricately piled atop her head, despite the fact that she had changed out of her formal attire some time before.

Padmé reached up into her hair and pulled out the ornamental sticks that held her it in place. Dark brown locks cascaded down her back, curly wisps framing her pale face. As she absentmindedly picked up her hairbrush and began combing through her hair, she realized that with her hair down, she didn't look much different from the young Queen she had been ten years before during her stay on Tatooine, when she had dressed as a handmaiden and captured a young boy's heart.

Thinking of Tatooine and that young boy brought a smile to Padmé's features as she recalled the events of the day. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had arrived on Naboo that afternoon, bringing news from the Chancellor while the Senate was out of session. Padmé hadn't seen either of them in ten years, but she had recognized Anakin easily - and from the way he had watched her every move, it was obvious that he was still very much captivated by her.

Suddenly a crash near the balcony doors broke the silence, startling Padmé from her reverie. She jumped up and spun around, wishing vainly that the com unit with which she could signal her guards wasn't on the other side of the figure, and that she held a weapon more lethal than a hairbrush. With no other options, she launched it at the tall, dark shape at the door.

The brush abruptly curved out of its natural path and into the hand of the intruder. Immediately Padmé knew who that invader was. "Anakin!" she reprimanded. "Don't ever do that again!"

"Sorry, milady," a smooth, baritone voice replied.As the breeze picked up, more moonlight filtered into the room, casting Anakin's features into a sharp relief. As she regarded the handsome young man before her, she idly thought to herself that if she had to have a late-night visit from someone, Anakin would be the one she would choose. She tried to banish the idea from her head, but the Jedi had apparently picked up on it. He smiled roguishly.

Padmé tried to ignore his smile, but not very successfully.

"Anakin, what are you doing here?" she asked instead, trying to convey as much exasperation as possible.

"I came to see you," he replied easily, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

Padmé sighed. "Why can't you just use doors and corridors like normal people?"

"This is more fun, milady," he said, a self-assured grin in place.

She was slightly annoyed that he was so obviously trying to placate her, and she was even more annoyed that it was working so well. But after a few moments of mental debate, a smile came unbidden to her lips. "It is good to see you again, Anakin," she allowed softly."And you, milady." Anakin bowed slightly. "You look beautiful tonight."

Padmé glanced down at her nightgown, a simple burgundy shift that touched her ankles, a sheer silver robe pulled over it. In comparison with the far more elaborate nightgowns she had worn in her tenure as Queen, this attire was simple and comfortable. However, it was becoming increasingly clear to Padmé that Anakin would think her beautiful if she was wearing a synthfiber sack. "Thank you, Anakin," she replied finally, lifting her gaze to meet his eyes as her annoyance drained away. "Was there something else you wanted to say?"

Anakin began to blush, looking more like the boy whose heart she had captured ten years before than the man he had become. Padmé smiled at his uncertainty. He took a step forward cautiously, moving into the shadows of the room. "I- I just wanted to tell you how glad I am to see you again."

Padmé's smile spread at the simple statement. She stepped forward and took his hands in hers. "I'm glad to see you again too," she replied. "But couldn't this have waited until morning?"

"I suppose so." He pulled one hand out of hers and touched her hair. "But then I would have missed seeing this..."

As he touched her loose hair, it struck Padmé that Anakin was the first man in years to see her hair free of the headdresses and ornaments that she wore in public. He ran his hand through her hair, obviously captivated by it as he ran his fingers through it, catching wisps and rubbing them between his finger and thumb. His blue eyes, full of warmth, met hers, and she squeezed his hand gently. With her free hand, she touched his cheek, feeling stubble forming on his strong jaw.Anakin's gaze dropped from hers, and on an impulse Padmé rose up on her toes and kissed his lips.

She never knew if he had seen it coming, but in her memories, Padmé liked to believe that he hadn't. The kiss was as gentle and sweet as the breeze that blew around them, and Anakin tilted his head down as his hand moved to cradle her head. He released her hand and gently rested it on her back. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, Padmé felt that she would never have enough of Anakin's touch.

All too soon, Anakin slowly pulled away. A smile formed on his face, and he asked, "If I return tomorrow night, will I get the same result?"

Padmé rolled her eyes. "My guards routinely patrol the area, and they will come by this balcony. You should leave before they show up and ask questions, Anakin."He gave her a look of mock pain, but she pointed at the balcony door. "Out."

He bowed again. "Yes, milady." He took her hand in his again and lightly brought it to his lips before moving through the doorway.

Padmé stepped to the door and closed it behind him, watching him vault himself over the railing and float down to the ground before locking the door and drawing the curtains. Slowly she walked to her bed and pulled back the covers. When she climbed into bed and pulled the heavy comforter over her, she realized how warm she was, despite the cool temperature of the room. The covers wouldn't be necessary.

As is my usual practice, I edited the scene and sent it back my betas, talking through it later via live chat. What appeared above is the final copy of the vignette.

It's probably pretty evident that I took some advice and ignored some advice. Every time you work with a beta, you're going to do this. There's no way around it, especially when two betas contradict each other, which will happen to you. So when do I ignore them? How do I decide whose advice to follow? To answer these questions, I defer to Stephen King's article "Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully - in Ten Minutes," which I recommend to anyone who looks to submit to a site like this or professionally.

Show your piece to a number of people - ten, let us say. Listen carefully to what they tell you. Smile and nod a lot. Then review what was said very carefully. If your critics are all telling you the same thing about some facet of your story - a plot twist that doesn't work, a character who rings false, stilted narrative, or half a dozen other possibles - change that facet. It doesn't matter if you really liked that twist of that character; if a lot of people are telling you something is wrong with your piece, it is. If seven or eight of them are hitting on that same thing, I'd still suggest changing it. But if everyone - or even most everyone - is criticizing something different, you can safely disregard what all of them say.

A little extreme? Perhaps, but it's solid advice.

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Current Rating is 8.44 in 39 total ratings.

Reader Comments

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Author: FernWithy (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2002 9:32:04 PM
FernWithy's Comments:

Thank you, Melyanna (and JadeSaber and Mcily_Nochi!). It's great to see the process in action.

Author: Siren_Song
Date posted: 4/9/2002 7:07:04 AM
Siren_Song's Comments:

Thanks for laying the process out step by step like that :). It was very helpful, and it will be a wonderful help for when I'm ready to submit my own fanfiction! Keep up the super work!

Author: Brigantia
Date posted: 4/10/2002 1:55:11 AM
Brigantia's Comments:

Beautiful! I'm a beta myself, so it's always great to see how others work. Good advice about the constructive criticism... I've had to learn how to be more honest and less worshipful myself, which is especially hard when you usually end up reading for your favourite authors :) All in all, an informative article...and now I want to read more of that fic :)

Author: greencat336
Date posted: 4/11/2002 6:46:05 PM
greencat336's Comments:

A very useful article for both authors and betas.

Author: Sparks (signed)
Date posted: 4/17/2002 4:17:43 AM
Sparks's Comments:

This article definitely makes an individual wish they had JadeSaber or Mcily_Nochi to beta-read their stories as well. :)

Excellent article.

Author: Viari Skywalker (signed)
Date posted: 5/23/2002 6:56:28 PM
Viari Skywalker's Comments:

Wow! I hadn't realized how important betas can be. I'm fairly new the fan fic world, and now I see that there is more involved then just writing a story and sending it in. Thanks for the article!

Author: Shahara (signed)
Date posted: 6/1/2002 7:03:46 PM
Shahara's Comments:

THANK-YOU!! I have just started into beta-ing, and I was kind of afraid I'd turn people away if I picked apart their creations! Now you've eased my fears!!!

Author: Adria Skye (signed)
Date posted: 7/8/2002 6:49:31 PM
Adria Skye's Comments:

Thanks for writing this. I was going to sign up as a beta, but then I realised I had no idea what I was 'sposed to do!! ;)

Author: Mcily Nochi
Date posted: 7/15/2002 8:37:44 AM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

Thank you, everyone. :)

Mely, good job writing this article. It's extremely frustrating when you get a beta who doesn't know what to do, or an author who doesn't know what to expect from a beta. Very good, and extremely helpful article.

Author: Raven Nyquist
Date posted: 8/26/2002 12:27:07 PM
Raven Nyquist's Comments:

Thanks again, Melyanna. Insight like this almost always helps with my writing.

Author: A-Wings Rule (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 10:02:41 AM
A-Wings Rule's Comments:

Great! I've just sent my first story off to a beta, now I know (hopefully) what to expect :)

Author: The Stormtrooper Shrink (signed)
Date posted: 2/15/2004 3:12:47 AM
The Stormtrooper Shrink's Comments:

Betering is the hardest and most heartrending thing I've ever experienced. I hate telling people that they should change this and that, and I'm always scared that they're fuming on the other end of the Internet after I've marked all over their stories. It's an evil, evil experience.

Thankyou for making me feel a hell of a lot better.

May the Force be with you.

Author: Alethia
Date posted: 7/12/2005 1:01:33 PM
Alethia's Comments:

Wonderful article! As I have two betawans to train, I think the first thing I will do is point them towards this article. Thanks a lot for posting it, you three!

Author: Darth Breezy (signed)
Date posted: 11/14/2005 6:32:22 PM
Darth Breezy's Comments:

First off, I think EVERYONE should fins a beta reader they can forge a good working relationship with. A beta reader isn't just a secretary who looks for typos and grammar errors - a beta reader is your fresh set of eyes, and someone you *hopefuly* trust enough to be honest and forthwith.

I've worked with my beta reader for many years and untold stories, and as often as not, my moniter has run red with virtual ink - a comment here, a speeling (sic) error there - a point missed or phrase over used.

... And I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING.

My beta has always shown me and my works upmost respect. She doesn't allow sloppyness in either story telling or character, but nor does she try to bully rag me into changing my 'voice'.

I <Heart> my beta, and wouldn't dream of posting a peice without her valuable, insightful input.

Author: TelenStar (signed)
Date posted: 4/24/2006 6:34:25 PM
TelenStar's Comments:

Thank you, your article really helps. I was about to shy away from doing Beta readings any more, but now I feel more confident and ready to read! Gracias, you've really helped me out!

Author: zgfuhxxy
Date posted: 7/6/2007 11:43:07 AM
zgfuhxxy's Comments:

Gabri edit: Spam removed.

Author: wrwrsyfytf
Date posted: 8/2/2007 10:41:10 AM
wrwrsyfytf's Comments:

Gabri edit: Spam removed.

Author: Mitchell
Date posted: 1/16/2016 2:52:22 AM
Mitchell's Comments:

That kind of thikinng shows you're on top of your game

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Uploaded: Monday, April 8, 2002