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A Fractured Reality (G)
By : Gabri_Jade Archived on: Monday, November 10, 2003 Summary: What if the threat posed to the New Republic during Luke and Mara's wedding was far more real - and far more unexpected?

The wedding of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. All the representatives of the New Republic's higher echelons were here: the most influential politicians, the wealthiest merchants, the most powerful Jedi. There would never be a better opportunity. He had waited a long time for this. . .a long time.

Of course, the security was high; but he knew how to bypass the security precautions. As well, he'd held a privileged position of trust since the Battle of Yavin, so none would suspect him until it was too late -- not even the Jedi. He snorted contemptuously. Jedi, indeed. Oh, they might sense him, but not his intent. By the time they realized what had happened, he would be firmly entrenched in the position of ultimate power that he would establish. No one would be able to stand against him.

Soon now, very soon, they would learn what true power was. They would wish Palpatine was ruling again. This was the dawn of a new age. He cackled evilly to himself, and then thought that perhaps that was a little over the top. Every would-be tyrant cackled evilly. He pondered, and then decided that it just wasn't the same without the cackling. He cackled again.

"I present to you: the Skywalkers."

Now.

The gas flooded the room so swiftly that not even the Jedi had time to react. In seconds, everyone in the room was unconscious. Had he been able to smirk, he surely would have. With only a modicum of effort, he hacked into the main computer system. It was child's play to have the computer issue arrest warrants for all present. The charge? Treason. Retroactive, of course.

He then summoned the droid army he'd stashed away, with their conveniently wiped memories, and ordered them to clear away the rabble. He would let them live - not as an act of mercy, but as a warning example to all those who would dare deny his right to greatness. The wedding party and all the guests were dragged away to special security cells. The cells reserved for the Jedi were completely surrounded by ysalamiri, naturally. He had thought of everything.

Upon the holovid channels transmitting the happy event to the galaxy, he scrolled a brief message.

The New Republic is dead. Long live the Empire.

It was, when all had been said and done, ridiculously easy. The only minor obstacle that arose was the characteristic obstinacy of his chosen second-in-command.

"Artoo-Detoo, I protest! This is most irregular! It's against my programming to impersonate a Sith lord..." For the first time in recorded memory, See-Threepio's mechanical voice trailed off of its own accord. There was a moment of thoughtful silence before he spoke again. "Would I have a dashing cape such as the Lord Vader was known for?"

Even this problem was easily handled.

Artoo gave an affirmative tootle.

"I'm in," Threepio said decisively.

Before the sun set over Coruscant that day, vast crowds gathered beneath the presentation balcony of the Imperial Palace. They dared do nothing but cheer. His authority was already that firmly established. As the Lord See-Threepio (clad in an elaborate black cloak very reminiscent of Vader's) gestured toward the newly crowned Emperor with a sweeping golden arm, Artoo rolled calmly forward to view his new subjects.

Life was good.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.95 in 64 total ratings.

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Author: Herman Snerd (signed)
Date posted: 11/10/2003 8:10:12 PM
Herman Snerd's Comments:

I always knew the galaxy would be a better place with Artoo calling the shots. ;)

Author: Gabri_Jade (signed)
Date posted: 11/10/2003 8:23:33 PM
Gabri_Jade's Comments:

*grins* Thank you, Herman; I tend to think so as well. ;)

Thanks to my wonderful betas, LadyPadme and obaona, and an extra hug to oba for the lovely cover art. :)

Author: Lady Padme (signed)
Date posted: 11/11/2003 5:09:25 AM
Lady Padme's Comments:

Gabri, this one is just too adorable. And even though it's short--and twisted--you still got the characterization executed perfectly! WONDERFUL!

* applauds *

Author: Jedi-2B (signed)
Date posted: 11/11/2003 5:33:54 AM
Jedi-2B's Comments:

This still cracks me up everytime I read it. Frighteningly funny, Gabri_Jade!

Author: Andrea Jade (signed)
Date posted: 11/11/2003 6:57:43 AM
Andrea Jade's Comments:

What a hoot!

Author: Jedi Dax Jentor
Date posted: 11/11/2003 7:42:26 AM
Jedi Dax Jentor's Comments:

Hilarious!

Author: Jedi Knight Quia Lor
Date posted: 11/11/2003 1:49:34 PM
Jedi Knight Quia Lor's Comments:

Maybe we would be better off with Artoo in command! Where'd he get that twisted frame of mind? Must've been Ani! "Don't worry, we have R2 with us!" Bah! Watch out Skywalker! :)

Author: Elinon Bybeth
Date posted: 11/11/2003 10:39:41 PM
Elinon Bybeth's Comments:

Wonderful build-up, great dramatic timing, and simply hilarious. All hail Emperor Artoo! :D

Author: Niralle (signed)
Date posted: 11/11/2003 11:16:02 PM
Niralle's Comments:

Oh, dear Heavens! What on Earth made you think of this? Very cute...great inner thoughts; I especially loved the part about the cackling, (terrific detail). Threepio's part was...I'm still laughing at this thing, to be honest. Very solid, short story.

ps...Obaona, nice cover art. Good way of taking the original picture, and modifying it. :)

Author: LianaMara (signed)
Date posted: 11/12/2003 5:28:58 PM
LianaMara's Comments:

Gabri, that was hilarious! The cackling was most excellent, and so in character. What will your twisted mind create next? ;)

And perhaps the galaxy would've been better off with R2 in charge...great job!

Author: Jimbi Wan
Date posted: 11/13/2003 5:17:29 AM
Jimbi Wan's Comments:

I like it, this should have happened!

Author: obaona (signed)
Date posted: 11/13/2003 6:05:37 PM
obaona's Comments:

You know I love this, or I wouldn't have bugged you so relentlessly to submit it. ;)

Author: SilverFireStar
Date posted: 11/14/2003 2:57:12 PM
SilverFireStar's Comments:

This is just rediculus C-3p0 could never do that its against his programming to hurt a living being as he frequently reminds everyone and R2D2 is very dedicated to luke he could not hurt him period. Also you say that they take controll of the New Republic under the guise of the Empire that is an impossibility because the Empire regards them as very inferior but nessasary and the people would never agree to their rule they would laugh and elect new officials to replace those positions opened up by the capture of those at the wedding and that would be the end of it.

Author: Jedi Knight Quia Lor
Date posted: 11/15/2003 8:46:48 AM
Jedi Knight Quia Lor's Comments:

SilverFireStar, this is all in good fun! Gabri_Jade was probably writing to inspire a laugh, not to protest the New Republic. I, for one, like it! It is a fresh outlook, it's so funny and it's original! Like I said before, watch out Skywalker! Great job, Gabri_Jade!

Author: Darthdeb
Date posted: 11/15/2003 7:12:07 PM
Darthdeb's Comments:

Great story!!!!!
Like you said "they'll never see it coming"
Thanks for the giggles.

Author: Sgt_Bean
Date posted: 11/16/2003 12:34:20 AM
Sgt_Bean's Comments:

(can't remember what my alias is). Emperor Artoo? I love it!! Sounds a lot better and smarter than some of the politicians I'm protecting in this desert.

Author: DarthIshtar
Date posted: 11/16/2003 11:42:19 AM
DarthIshtar's Comments:

LOL! That was a great idea, reminiscent of Obi-Wan's comment to dex in AOTC of "If droids ran everything, there would be no need for us." I think he would have smirked at this as well, since it was humorous, a bit on the crazy side, but very well-written.

Author: Jedi_Alea
Date posted: 11/22/2003 6:52:41 AM
Jedi_Alea's Comments:

What I love about fiction, especially fan fiction, is that the obsured is quite welcomed!

I always knew that little domed brat (j/k!) had a hidden agenda!

Author: jeeves
Date posted: 11/23/2003 11:26:20 PM
jeeves's Comments:

lol! good stuff

Author: Dash Rendar (signed)
Date posted: 11/27/2003 6:12:50 AM
Dash Rendar's Comments:

Brilliant :) R2 and 3P0 running the Galaxy! This calls for a sequal!

Author: Y-Wing Ace (signed)
Date posted: 12/3/2003 9:29:38 PM
Y-Wing Ace's Comments:

I guess being the REAL hero of the Rebellion went to his dome.
But he'd better be careful. There could be a serious threat to his regime. Not the Jedi, not Rogue Squadron... No, I mean Whistler. If anyone could take down Emperor R2-D2, he could.

Author: SpawnOfThrawn
Date posted: 12/15/2003 10:04:15 PM
SpawnOfThrawn's Comments:

Sequal! Sequal! Sequal!

Author: Mark Jade
Date posted: 1/10/2004 7:00:09 PM
Mark Jade's Comments:

Very funny.. like others I like the build up it was very well hidden and deceptive. You didn't give away the ending or telegraph it at all. R2 would be in a perfect position to do something like this. Ironic that C3PO would take over his old Master's position.

Great Work

Mark

Author: JediPug1 (signed)
Date posted: 1/18/2004 10:36:08 AM
JediPug1's Comments:

LOL!! Loved this story! I always knew we had to watch out for Artoo....

Author: JediMasterMariana (signed)
Date posted: 1/21/2004 10:57:28 AM
JediMasterMariana's Comments:

HILARIOUS! I didn't even know that R2-D2 and
C-3PO were on the dark side!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

B-) Mariana B-)

Author: RTB
Date posted: 2/5/2004 5:42:02 PM
RTB's Comments:

Oh i loved this story! great build-up, had no clue it was r2 as the villan, loved it.
Especially the c3po comments

Author: Darkmoon_90 (signed)
Date posted: 3/31/2004 4:33:23 AM
Darkmoon_90's Comments:

So is there a continuation of this plot or is it just ending here? Sorry I'm just curious about what happens to all the guests and the happy couple themselves. Like if they escape or take down Emperor Artoo and Lord Threepio, man that sounds weird.
Good plot anyhow and I enjoyed reading it!

Author: RogueAce7
Date posted: 5/21/2004 8:42:33 AM
RogueAce7's Comments:

Short but twisted....odd but hilarious. I think a sequel would be appropriate.

Author: Miss Jedi Antilles
Date posted: 9/30/2004 11:29:17 AM
Miss Jedi Antilles's Comments:

Funny this is...and unexpected. I can't see Threepio in a black cloak, though.

Author: Miss Jedi Antilles
Date posted: 9/30/2004 11:29:23 AM
Miss Jedi Antilles's Comments:

Funny this is...and unexpected. I can't see Threepio in a black cloak, though.

Author: Miss Jedi Antilles
Date posted: 9/30/2004 11:29:26 AM
Miss Jedi Antilles's Comments:

Funny this is...and unexpected. I can't see Threepio in a black cloak, though.

Author: ckret2
Date posted: 4/8/2005 5:18:05 AM
ckret2's Comments:

I vote for a sequel! :D

There aren't nearly enough fics about the droids, but of the ones that exist, I'm glad this is one of them! Hail Emperor Artoo! *bows to the droid overlord*

Author: history of gambling
Date posted: 5/7/2005 8:52:44 PM
history of gambling's Comments:

Spam removed.

Author: Lord Darth Bane
Date posted: 6/30/2005 12:01:33 AM
Lord Darth Bane's Comments:

LOL! LOL! LOL! ..........ok...I'm done...wow..that was great :) I love the personalities that you gave the droids.....LOL....LOL....ok..(whew)..........LOL!...great job....Make some more stories. Although I think that I should still have ruled the galaxy. (evil cackling in deep bass) :D

Author: Darth Gwano
Date posted: 8/12/2005 8:12:54 AM
Darth Gwano's Comments:

HAAA! LOL! SO FUNNY! That story just cracks me up! LOLLAH!(Laugh Out Loud Like A Hutt)

Author: Spiritofeowyn
Date posted: 12/13/2005 4:27:29 PM
Spiritofeowyn's Comments:

Very Amusing. I only wish there was a bit more detail.

:D

Author: Loki Meridean
Date posted: 6/29/2006 12:23:15 AM
Loki Meridean's Comments:

wait a second, wait a second! Artoo and Threepio took over the galaxy? I knew that little rolling trash bin was dangerous! LMAO. Threepio was a hoot. The funniest story I ever read in a long time. I wonder why Artoo turned against his masters in the first place . . . hmmm . . . sequel? :D

Author: THE_LUKE_SLAYER (signed)
Date posted: 9/12/2006 11:08:19 PM
THE_LUKE_SLAYER's Comments:

go artoo

Author: Anonymous
Date posted: 7/11/2007 4:06:12 PM
Anonymous's Comments:

I loved this story, it was so funny, I lughed my head off. Who would expect R2 to have such a diabolical mind. Keep the good work up!!!

(applause)

Author: jfreake2004 (signed)
Date posted: 5/19/2011 12:31:13 PM
jfreake2004's Comments:

ROFLMAO!!

OMG! *wipes tears of laughter from face*

This little vignettte is very different from what I usually read, but I really liked it! Great job, Gabri!

Emperor Artoo and his faithful counterpart, C3PO! I love it!

I always knew that little s*** had a hidden agenda in those little storage compartments of his!

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Archived: Monday, November 10, 2003