Author: Thuku
Date posted: 2/16/2004 3:35:11 PM
Thuku's Comments:

Good work. A well written story. An interesting perspective on how things could have been. Oh, and good choice with the Wedge/Mara thing--he's the only non-Force user who could keep up with her.

Author: greenleaf from LakeRetreat
Date posted: 2/17/2004 1:34:17 AM
greenleaf from LakeRetreat's Comments:

Powerful!

Author: The Stormtrooper Shrink  (signed)
Date posted: 2/17/2004 1:49:28 PM
The Stormtrooper Shrink's Comments:

Bittersweet, but interesting. However there is one thing I object to strongly. WES JANSON HAS BITTEN THE DUST HERE!!!

Otherwise, cool story.

Author: Quiller  (signed)
Date posted: 2/17/2004 7:18:45 PM
Quiller's Comments:

Jeff, I wondered if you were ever going to submit this story. Great to see it up. A dark and riveting tale -- and an AU that is perfectly plausible.

Author: Jedi2k
Date posted: 2/17/2004 7:53:03 PM
Jedi2k's Comments:

Great Story only one thing the super star destroyer was destroyed before the events in this fanfic but you still had it there only heavily damaged other than great story

Author: SpawnOfThrawn
Date posted: 2/17/2004 8:04:51 PM
SpawnOfThrawn's Comments:

Very sad, and touching. I really liked your portrayel of Wedge, and his hooking up with Mara seems natural. I often thought they would until Hand Of Thrawn came out. Five stars.

Author: Princess Padme
Date posted: 2/17/2004 8:06:48 PM
Princess Padme's Comments:

I really enjoyed reading this story! It is absolutely great. The only down side to it it that so many of the main characters died. Still, altogether wonderful.

Author: Phantom Jedi
Date posted: 2/20/2004 7:17:29 AM
Phantom Jedi's Comments:

wow, very good job. it was a very dark and sad story, and if vader did not come back to the light, this is how the stroy wouldve continued. very nice, but the only thing i did not like is how almost all of the main characters from the movies, except for leia and chewbacca were killed in the story, but then again it added to the stories dark theme. very nice work

Author: Mark Jade
Date posted: 2/20/2004 9:16:25 AM
Mark Jade's Comments:

Jeff,
I love alternative Universe tales. Your twist on what if.. Vader hadn't turned on the Emperor..

I liked the way Leia found the book and was trying to train herself to become a Jedi.

And Mara's rejection of the Emperor's control as she saw through the lies.. that she was a slave.. and that she couldn't let another small child live like she had... taken fom her mother.. and being subjugated to his control.

very very good
thanks
Mark

Author: toppmatt
Date posted: 2/20/2004 10:45:54 AM
toppmatt's Comments:

A great story, i espicially loved:

Death of a Starship Captain . . . Attack of the Clones? "Who comes up with this stuff?" Leia muttered.

Lol!

Author: JM
Date posted: 2/20/2004 2:56:10 PM
JM's Comments:

Very enjoyable, it all follows very smoothly from the initial change.

Author: Darth_Pepsi
Date posted: 2/20/2004 3:20:42 PM
Darth_Pepsi's Comments:

Ok, I hate to say this, but...[remainder edited]

[Editor's Note: disagreement is fine, insults are not.]

You killed the only characters that I particularly like in the movies (with the exception of Wedge, and Chewie)-- and that really put a dampener on things, but I kept reading, anyways-- the characterizations were off, and you made Leia have sex before marriage, and that is where I stopped reading. I'm sorry, but stuff like that...
Leia wouldn't have done that. She was raised to be princess of alderaan [remainder edited].
[Note: no ranting please.]
Sorry.
I did, however, like the general idea, and your style is very good. But those were my problems with it.

Author: Jeff 42  (signed)
Date posted: 2/20/2004 9:24:49 PM
Jeff 42's Comments:

I guess I will respond to the previous comment here in case anyone else feels the same way.

I've had the impression for some time that Han and Leia consummated their relationship during the long trip to Bespin in ESB. There's no proof of this in the movie, but there definitely seems to have been a major change in their relationship by the time they reach Cloud City, and there's also the fact that after their arrival Leia wears clothing that's not white for the first time in the trilogy. I believe that at this point she had come to the conclusion that Han was her one true love, and it's not out of character for her, even considering her royal upbringing. Of course, we don't know what Alderaan's social mores were anyways...

Author: qui-adi-serpentor
Date posted: 2/20/2004 10:05:48 PM
qui-adi-serpentor's Comments:

wow awsome story, very well crafted, to bad so many of the main people had to die, but given the nature of this story,,,it was required to pull off the interesting ending. i like the fact that vader was a slave to the end and help came from an unlikly source. i feel that there is a secqul somewhere to this story....prehaps with the sprits of other fallen jedi helping leia and her son become powerful in the force... anyways...one the best fan fics i've read and given all the fan fics i read on this site that says alot.

Author: Zaxxon
Date posted: 2/21/2004 8:49:48 AM
Zaxxon's Comments:

Thanks for the great story. I enjoyed it immensely!!

Author: Anakin Starkiller  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2004 11:57:14 AM
Anakin Starkiller's Comments:

I liked this story overall. I especially liked that the GFFA has an equivalent of a TiVo, and I would have to wonder what Stormtrooper Advenshure Hour is like. I hope its better than the show Malla watched in the Holiday Special about Tattooine. ;)

Because of its length, there were some slow parts, but honestly, I do not know how I would have changed that.

The scenes with Red Squadron were especially well written. I could see the Stackpole/Allston influence there, well done.

When you were killing everyone off, thanks for keeping Wedge alive.

I did however find Leia's transformation into uber-Jedi over the course of weeks with nothing but a book to guide her a bit unplausible.

You did not name the planet where they end up at the end, but I would like to think that it was Naboo.

Author: Wayne Robson
Date posted: 2/21/2004 12:53:46 PM
Wayne Robson's Comments:

Its not often that a story from the world of fandom can keep me rivetted all day as this one did. The whole idea of 'what if' really made sense and you can tell this was well thought out and not just an unplanned piece. Personally I think at the very end a bit more interaction with vader would have been good, but thats been done a million times in fan fics before.
A damn good story that I'd not have been disapointed in if it was a novel I'd bought!
Keep up the good work I look forward to your next one.

Wayne...

Author: Wayne Robson
Date posted: 2/21/2004 12:55:55 PM
Wayne Robson's Comments:

Its not often that a story from the world of fandom can keep me rivetted all day as this one did. The whole idea of 'what if' really made sense and you can tell this was well thought out and not just an unplanned piece. Personally I think at the very end a bit more interaction with vader would have been good, but thats been done a million times in fan fics before.
A damn good story that I'd not have been disapointed in if it was a novel I'd bought!
Keep up the good work I look forward to your next one.

Wayne...

Author: k2h
Date posted: 2/21/2004 3:40:30 PM
k2h's Comments:

Good story. I liked it. Would have liked to see the more of the Rebel Alliance survive in the post-Palpatine era though so the New Republic could come about.

Author: Gillespee
Date posted: 2/21/2004 6:46:15 PM
Gillespee's Comments:

I hate fanfics. Too often they're merely fanboy ruminations. But yours caught my eye when I came to TF.N. Wow. Way to go. That was great. I thought you hit the characters right on, there was action, and real gripping emotion. I thought Leia learning to be a Jedi from a book ("Now you too can become a Jedi without ever stepping inside a classroom with our new QuickForce program!") was maybe a little farfetched, but there wasn't many other options for you to take. But nitpicky the little criticisms are far out-weighed by your great writing style and engaging story of what might have been. BTW, way to be gutsy and not hold back on letting some characters die. Han, Lando, Luke's sacrifices make the story that much stronger, because we realize how great the stakes are. Oh, and way to make a cameo by an EU character useful to your story. I applaud that, not easy to do. 10/10, highly recommended.

Author: Christoban Senjen
Date posted: 2/21/2004 10:10:48 PM
Christoban Senjen's Comments:

A most impressive work. Would that more authors wrote as well as this.

Author: Darth_Oracle
Date posted: 2/21/2004 11:57:19 PM
Darth_Oracle's Comments:

Really liked the story... until the end. Every character followed a logical path from the movies based on that one slight tangent of Vader not killing Palpatine on the second death star. Every character except Vader. You seemed to have forgotten that at the end, when all is said and done, Vader was the chosen one, and it was him, only him that could have destroyed the emperor. Now, having said that, it does seem difficult to come up with a way to achieve that without making it just like ROTJ except with Leia, but with all the thought that went into this story, perhaps a little more time would have produced a solution. But hey, like I said it was a great story. No character was safe, I liked that.

Anyway just my 2 cents....

Author: Master Hayes
Date posted: 2/22/2004 3:09:52 PM
Master Hayes's Comments:

What a great story. I truly enjoyed it from begining to end. I was sad to see main characters die, but even that added to the story. I thought Leia gained power in the Force a bit quickly just using a book, but even that was cool. I thought you had a solid feel for the characters, and things flowed smoothly. Very good indeed.

Author: M the Hutt
Date posted: 2/22/2004 5:49:39 PM
M the Hutt's Comments:

Impressive. Most impressive.

I agree with the concerns about Leia's rapid self-training and the dissappointment with Vader's demise -- a bit anti-climactic -- but those are minor complaints.

Your story was the best "what if" fan fic I have ever read -- Star Wars or otherwise. Your characters were believable and well-built upon those already established in the SW world. And your use of the language conveyed the everything perfectly -- I knew exactly what was happening all the time.

You have an incredible talent. I hope you'll continue to write. You should consider sharing this with an editor at Del Rey. I'd commission you to write a novel if I were them.

Well done!!

Author: Sith_Hits_The_Fan
Date posted: 2/23/2004 9:13:22 AM
Sith_Hits_The_Fan's Comments:

The story is intriguing, but I'm afraid the setup has one massive flaw.

By sending the Emperor down the chute, Vader fulfills the prophecy and brings balance tot he Force. Out of all things Star Wars, that's the one thing you can't just change, because it will knock away the very foundation for Anakin's being. Same goes for Dark Empire I and II and Empire's End.

Author: DarkLordRevan
Date posted: 2/23/2004 7:25:44 PM
DarkLordRevan's Comments:

dude that was great and deeply emotionally and dramramatic I was amazed by you story and I think you for well time spend.You should sent to lucas just as a extra thing.Dude awesome.

Author: DarkLordRevan
Date posted: 2/23/2004 7:25:47 PM
DarkLordRevan's Comments:

dude that was great and deeply emotionally and dramramatic I was amazed by you story and I think you for well time spend.You should sent to lucas just as a extra thing.Dude awesome.

Author: DarkLordRevan
Date posted: 2/23/2004 7:29:57 PM
DarkLordRevan's Comments:

actually I found out in the later books he lives by using a illusion of himself using the force and that illusion was the that fell.

Author: DarkLordRevan
Date posted: 2/23/2004 7:31:20 PM
DarkLordRevan's Comments:

by him I mean the emporoer

Author: H'soj teu'qim
Date posted: 2/24/2004 10:26:49 AM
H'soj teu'qim's Comments:

This was a great story and had the impression of being part of the EU novels. Great work. At times I forgot this was fan fiction.

Author: SithedMyPants
Date posted: 2/24/2004 6:25:55 PM
SithedMyPants's Comments:

Great work. This is better than any of the Star Wars Infinites. You take a good concept and make it work very well. Your introductions of new characters and locales blends in nicely with the OT, as well as your use of existing characters. In addition, I found this to be one of the most compelling renditions of Mara Jade since the original Thrawn trilogy. Furthermore, your depictions of the battle sequences were detailed without being too heavy handed and technical.


I would love to see a follow up, say twenty years later with an older Lucius striking a balance between Luke and Anakin, with a wiser (but more sad) Leia as his Master.

Great Job!
On the flip side, my problems with your work are few and far between. Essentially what you need is a strong editor to keep you focused in the longer narratives and to give you structural guidance- but all good authors use them (and need them, frankly).

Your approach to Star Wars falls somewhere between the sci-fi stylings of Zahn and the internal musings of Dave Wolverton- two of my top three Star Wars authors. Congrats on a story you should definitely consider including in submissions to LFL publishing houses (bantam, dark horse, WEG, etc).

Author: mark_jedi_fan
Date posted: 2/25/2004 3:57:22 AM
mark_jedi_fan's Comments:

"Most impressive"

Author: ldsdbomber
Date posted: 2/25/2004 10:34:23 AM
ldsdbomber's Comments:

It was a bit long for me, good ideas though

My shortened AU goes like this

Luke turns to dark side, kicks crap out of Emperor with Dad. They rule universe together as father and son, travelling the universe to annihilate all the shit ideas that George Lucas had until only the good ones remained. They start on Endor, but have much work to do.

Author: Rebel Ace
Date posted: 2/25/2004 7:31:12 PM
Rebel Ace's Comments:

Wow! I'm really new to this website, but that was seriously one of the best fanfics I've read so far. You did an amazing job of capturing the feel of the original trilogy - from the beginning I felt like I was watching the "Return of the Jedi" again, only with some really unexpected twists thrown in! Thanks for posting this one!!

Author: tangled_sphere  (signed)
Date posted: 3/1/2004 12:56:17 AM
tangled_sphere's Comments:

Fantastic! I give this one 10/10. I haven't been this entertained since Zahn's trilogy. Great fight scene between Jade and Leia. Also I really liked the part where Wedge is thinking about all the deaths and losses he's encountered and wonders if this attack is his last...Good descriptions of his weariness of battle. Great characterizations. Edge of your seat reading. Keep writing Jeff42!

Author: ElwenofImladris
Date posted: 3/8/2004 8:45:40 PM
ElwenofImladris's Comments:

Oooooo... This was really good! I could hardly tear my eyes from it! Loved the twist but I wish that Tycho didn't have to die. *sigh*

Elwen

Author: Obi Dog
Date posted: 3/14/2004 7:45:39 PM
Obi Dog's Comments:

This fanfic was excellent. I had no problem with Leia's accelerated training. After all scifi is full of the impossible! Once again, I say well done.

Author: Hermione Organa  (signed)
Date posted: 3/29/2004 5:30:38 PM
Hermione Organa's Comments:

Excellent job. This was actually the first fan fic that I ever read (that was the day after it was archived) and I was totally blown away. Good job! :)

Author: Stohot
Date posted: 4/3/2004 12:46:49 AM
Stohot's Comments:

Great story! I started reading this during lunch at work, and that was a mistake. I couldn't stop, which I unfortunately had to. But sent myself an email reminder to finish at night. Well after an evening out, I come home to read the entire story and finish late! Leaving myself complelled to write this comment and say how great I loved this story and concept!
I have often found myself wondering many different scenarios that could take place after RotJ, instead of just the ones in the books. This was very dark, and you learn really quickly that is has that '24' type atmosphere where nobody is safe. But that darknessa and bittersweetness was refreshing. Although I will be quick to say, I'm glad the movies did not end this way! Thanks again!

Author: Mcily Nochi  (signed)
Date posted: 4/22/2004 6:52:59 PM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

This is beautiful. I love reading fanfics of such a large scale, especially AUs. It's so fascinating to see the characters we all know and love being so truly themselves in surroundings that are so unfamiliar to us. I particularly liked how Luke didn't appear until the end. It would have been so easy to use him as a plot device to help Leia become a Jedi, but you didn't. In fact, it was the dark side more than anything that helped her choose which side to take.

Absolutely wonderful, and a blast to read. Thank you.

Author: KingTyro
Date posted: 4/29/2004 4:41:20 AM
KingTyro's Comments:

I have only read a few Fics on this site, but this was so good. If this was a book I would buy it in no time. Very daark. I constantly fouind myself wanting things to get better. But they never really did.

GREAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: noblejedi777
Date posted: 5/4/2004 3:07:55 PM
noblejedi777's Comments:

I couldnt put it down.
Killing off most of the cast was down right tragic. Han's death was the worst I think and the most nec to throw Leia over the edge. I wonder if this didnt scar the child in some way, knowing that she totally unleashed and began blasting away on Vader. Instead of Luke turning Ani back to the force, you could have easily used Leia at the end. adding that big payoff to the drama, after all the purpose of this epic was about Anakin being the chosen one. (eventhough it was a what if,... you did what i couldnt have done and that was to let him go, hopelessly lost, and that even though there was redemption for Mara Jade, I would have thought that Vader in his dying breaths finally saw the big picture and finally realized what his mistakes cost him.) Like I said, I couldnt put it down. Great read, from one aspiring writer to another.

Impressive, most impressive

Author: RogueAce7
Date posted: 5/17/2004 9:43:52 AM
RogueAce7's Comments:

Great job. There are some flaws with the story, such as the Executor not being destroyed. Leia's quick progression through her training isn't quite feasible, but I really can't think of any way to change that without your story becoming a 300+ page novel. I was upset that so many characters died, and I wish that Janson could have at least gone out in a blaze of glory, but a wonderful job overall.

Author: RogueAce7
Date posted: 5/18/2004 8:42:03 AM
RogueAce7's Comments:

As before, great job. I can see the influences on your writing. The resemblance between Timothy Zahn and your writing (from the aspect of the overall narrative of the characters) is astonishing, and if I didn't know any better, I would believe someone who told me Zahn wrote it himself. Another resemblance is to Allston/Stackpole. Your style of writing as far as combat goes could easily pass for something that the X-Wing authors wrote. Wonderful job, and keep writing.

Author: Grandadmiral_Zand
Date posted: 5/23/2004 5:55:04 PM
Grandadmiral_Zand's Comments:

yo,

Good story except the demise of Vader isn't quite obvious in my opninion ??

Maybe add some lines like "His body broken, his mind consumed with fear and dispair, Vader felt darkness coming and his consiousness fell into the voidless space of the abyss, his last journey into the Dark Side began, from wich was no return was possible...

(forgive my bad english :P )

Author: Nom-Inal
Date posted: 7/22/2004 1:40:33 PM
Nom-Inal's Comments:

A wonderfully composed story - gripping, suspenseful and tragic. Your writing skills put you far above the rest of us ameteurs.

Author: monkey_man
Date posted: 7/27/2004 6:01:27 PM
monkey_man's Comments:

man that was awesome..... took me long to read... and why did you kill wes... and where was hobbie.... but you kept wedge and chewie alive... all in all a great story... its so crazy to think "what if"


ps- "lucious"?

Author: Jedi Knight 72583
Date posted: 9/28/2004 4:28:59 PM
Jedi Knight 72583's Comments:

This is a great story. Lots of action and emotion. I suppose if Luke died but Vader and Palpatine survived, this is kind of how things would turn out. Over all this story ROCKS!!!

Author: Finegreen
Date posted: 10/11/2004 10:52:40 AM
Finegreen's Comments:

Very very sick. Loved it.

Author: Evil's Best
Date posted: 10/21/2004 11:06:45 PM
Evil's Best's Comments:

I loved this story. It was extremely sad (Luke, Lando, Tycho all dead?. But I guess that's good. Tragedies are good when well written. If you made this longer, you could attempt to publish it. Thank you, for this story. (Though, if you write another AU story, please try not to kill Vader or Han)

Author: Evil's Best
Date posted: 10/21/2004 11:06:48 PM
Evil's Best's Comments:

I loved this story. It was extremely sad (Luke, Lando, Tycho all dead?. But I guess that's good. Tragedies are good when well written. If you made this longer, you could attempt to publish it. Thank you, for this story. (Though, if you write another AU story, please try not to kill Vader or Han)

Author: jainajade
Date posted: 11/4/2004 2:34:39 AM
jainajade's Comments:

I liked the story, but killing Han AND Luke off...that's just too much :(
But the writing was great!!

Author: Darth Halitosis
Date posted: 12/4/2004 6:19:45 PM
Darth Halitosis's Comments:

Glad you kept at least Wedge alive, if anyone. your story really messed with my mind. Thanks. keep writing

Author: Ani-maniac  (signed)
Date posted: 1/2/2005 8:38:53 PM
Ani-maniac's Comments:

I enjoyed the story. It certainly suprised me that so many important characters died. The one aspect I did not like however, was that Han and Leia had a child before they got married. That is something you don't see in the Star Wars universe, (Anakin and Padme', Mara and Luke,and yes, Han and Leia,) they were all married before having children. I realize that this is becomming more common in our world, but that does not change the fact that it is wrong, as the Bible says. I have always enjoyed the high moral standards in Star Wars, in both the movies,and the books, and I was a little surpried when I read this. It doesn't fit with what George Lucas has done. With this exception,I liked the story. It had interesting twists and was written well. But, perhaps you could change the story so that they got married in secret, as Anakin and Padme' did, worried that the chance would slip by them with all the death they had experienced. I don't want to flame the stroy, I really did enojoy it, and I know it belongs in the archive. I just wanted to voice my one objection. I hope you will keeping writting, and I look forward to reading another story. God bless!

Author: Halcyon Jedi
Date posted: 2/11/2005 5:31:32 AM
Halcyon Jedi's Comments:

". . . Attack of the Clones? "Who comes up with this stuff?" Leia muttered. "

That entire story is worth reading just for that. LOL.

Author: BooGrl
Date posted: 3/4/2005 6:29:31 PM
BooGrl's Comments:

I loved it! I was said when Luke died, (he is my favorite character) but I felt better when you didn't kick him out of the story line. Great job though! I liked the ending. Lucius is like another name for Luke, right? Oh, well, I'll just go on thinking that it is! Keep on writing! Please make another one with Luke Skywalker please! Thank you!

Author: RedGenesisRanger
Date posted: 3/14/2005 9:03:47 PM
RedGenesisRanger's Comments:

excellent. I loved every minute of it. Right until the end. The Mara Jade turning was a surprise, though, but a good one

Author: han_solo_fan
Date posted: 4/6/2005 5:57:56 AM
han_solo_fan's Comments:

hey this story is really nice! i particularly like the part where Luke died.i hate that guy! but why did u have to make Han die? as u can probably see from my 'name' i'm a great fan of han. but i like the way u portray Leia as a mentally strong character. write other books!

Author: delphinium blackjack
Date posted: 5/7/2005 2:51:10 PM
delphinium blackjack's Comments:

Removed Spam.

Author: silver hawk.
Date posted: 7/8/2005 2:53:21 PM
silver hawk.'s Comments:

While the idea behind this fiction was great, I didn't like the way it developed that much. It is still a commendable work and I bet most people who read it will like it, unfortunately, it failed to thrill me and I was tempted to stop reading but I kept on just to see how you ended it.
To be honest, Mara killed it for me, I just can't stand her, nor in the books or in fanfiction unless she plays a very small role, still, being fair, your story is good, just not up to my personal tastes (sorry if I sound like a jerk.)

Author: Dustin
Date posted: 3/27/2006 8:08:12 AM
Dustin's Comments:

Another excellent Fanfic from Jeff. I found this one very sad, and thank goodness it is the alternate universe. It reminded of the dark forces II game where Kyle's falling to the dark side or loyalty to the light side determined how the rest of the game would be played out. This is a much darker ending to ROTJ

Author: Donna K.
Date posted: 7/30/2006 7:17:23 PM
Donna K.'s Comments:

Wow! What an incredible story this was. It is sad in a way but then so is life and reality. Naturally, we'd like to see more survive, but the what if shows the great tragedy but there's still hope and a sense of ultimate victory.

Author: Corellius
Date posted: 9/9/2006 10:21:58 AM
Corellius's Comments:

Very well done. I read it all in one sitting and enjoyed it every step of the way. I especially liked the fact that certain characters were not immune from death, thus making the whole flow of the story uncertain and suspenseful. Great job!

Corellius

Author: Mike
Date posted: 11/13/2006 4:02:25 PM
Mike's Comments:

I loved this story but for one simple factor: Mara Jade. I absolutely hate her character. She's a nigh-invulnerable smart-ass. I just can't stand her. I understand why she had to be in this story and you kept her true to the character that is created.

But besides that, it was a fantastic story. You have a great ability to describe space/aerial combat and I enjoyed immensely. Hope to hear more from you.

Author: pieman
Date posted: 7/2/2007 10:10:49 PM
pieman's Comments:

Why the hell did you kill off han?!? I mean he is like one of the most populer star wars characters. Other then that though,its a great story. 8\10 -2 becuase han died

Author: Nellas
Date posted: 7/25/2008 2:24:14 PM
Nellas's Comments:

Well... how to say... as a fan of the Dark Side, i found myself bored and hoping more people would've died. The final score though - i got from reading the comments cause damn, the only character i was interested in, siding the alliance, was Lando. i stopped reading after he died.
Yes, the idea is not bad, even nice, but damn, thar was too long and too... hopeful! And i hate Mara and Leia. maybe there's just something in common with me and the emperor.

~~EDITOR EDIT: This is about as disrespectful as you can get and not get deleted. We suggest that comments, even when negative, be worded as respectfully as possible. Thank you.~~

Author: Domm
Date posted: 4/10/2010 12:23:45 AM
Domm's Comments:

Nicely done. Good character development, and great story flow and imagery. It was a little unclear, though, as to why they thought they could hold a planet against the might of the Imperial military. They had to have known that the Empire would have moved against them eventually. Still, it made for a captivating story.