Author: Eternalspiral
Date posted: 5/1/2004 1:01:12 PM
Eternalspiral's Comments:

Such a well put together piece of work. It gives the mysticism of the Jedi more of a worldly feel. A history that makes the fall of Anakin seem even more sad. That his friend would know and try to warn him ... but it was never to be . The scholarly tone of this piece is very much like that of a historian , perhaps in the future you could tie it up with a section of this journal found by Luke for the New Jedi Order ? Or just luke reading both journals which he finds in Obi-Wans hut after the events of Return of the Jedi . keep up the good work :)

Author: Silver FireStar
Date posted: 5/1/2004 3:00:08 PM
Silver FireStar's Comments:

I loved this i had always wondered why friends of anakins couldn't have helped him your story shows what would happen if they did i hope you make a sequal what happens when anakin does read the prophecy

Author: Nevarion  (signed)
Date posted: 5/2/2004 5:49:49 AM
Nevarion's Comments:

I thought this was a very good story. The tone was consistent throughout for both the quotes and the characters, and the story moved along nicely. The main character was someone worth reading about, and the mix of previous history and current events helped bring the two storylines together. The tie-in with known characters was excellent, as was the ironic ending. Good job!

Author: MutantJediBouer  (signed)
Date posted: 5/2/2004 9:52:11 AM
MutantJediBouer's Comments:

I loved this one from the moment I first read it. I loved the ending, oooh, ominous. Really great, keep writing!

Author: jedi_michele
Date posted: 5/2/2004 10:13:14 AM
jedi_michele's Comments:

this piece was beautifully put. i don't normally read the fan fiction, but this one caught my eye and it was excellent. good work and may the force be with u always.

Author: leia__naberrie
Date posted: 5/3/2004 1:51:58 AM
leia__naberrie's Comments:

This incredible tale left me wondering - what if? What if Anakin had read the diary as Zavra Phelar asked? Would the future have been diverted? Or perhaps, that is part of the chain of events that led to the Rise of Vader, the destiny of the Sun of the Sons - that, like Cassandra in Greek lore, the prophecy would be understood by someone who is not heard.

What a beautiful and imaginative tale. It recaptures the fundamental themes of prophecy and destiny that are so intrinsic to Star Wars.

Author: Jedi skywalker
Date posted: 5/4/2004 2:45:15 AM
Jedi skywalker's Comments:

not a bad story, but a little long winded, and anti-climatic.

Author: Ailwyn
Date posted: 5/4/2004 12:24:14 PM
Ailwyn's Comments:

This was very original, and i commend your insight and innovation. the only problem that i had personally was how close it was to Anakin himself. i really can't explain it, i just never liked stories that danced too close to the main characters...
i LOVED the qoutes from the Prohecy, the "Son of Sun's" qoute gave me chills.

Author: Frank1212
Date posted: 5/4/2004 3:47:44 PM
Frank1212's Comments:

Wow. I am utterly speechless. Another masterpiece of work done by Viari Skywalker.

Author: Stormtrooper_Shrink  (signed)
Date posted: 5/4/2004 10:59:12 PM
Stormtrooper_Shrink's Comments:

This was pure pleasure to do what little beta-ing I did, Vi. A lovely piece of work. I'm so glad it was archived!

Author: Obi-Wan Kenobi83
Date posted: 5/6/2004 11:11:46 AM
Obi-Wan Kenobi83's Comments:

It's a bit ironic that the reason Zavra was never able to tell anyone else about the prophecies was because he died at the first battle he faced in the clone wars. While you didn't specify how he died, it's fair to suppose that if he had spent more time on his defense training he might have survived. I liked that. This story was certainly very interesing. Keep writing!

Author: twinsuns  (signed)
Date posted: 5/6/2004 3:48:20 PM
twinsuns's Comments:

Very interesting, i bet you have read tolkiens works. Very good

Author: Master Lexus
Date posted: 5/9/2004 5:10:30 AM
Master Lexus's Comments:

I loved this story. At some point I really felt like Zavra Phelar, I just couldnīt stop reading it. The end was great, as it show Anakin's inevitable faith of doom.

Author: OzMoses
Date posted: 5/9/2004 10:25:25 AM
OzMoses's Comments:

Very good read. Mystical and thought provoking. I find the backstory of the Jedi order to be the most fascinating part of the Star Wars universe. Thanks for articulating this story into words. Keep em coming!

Author: SithedMyPants
Date posted: 5/9/2004 5:29:03 PM
SithedMyPants's Comments:

Nice story. The historic passages mostly feel authentic. Mostly :)

The key issue for me is this: If a padawan could put two and two together (Anakin = Destroyer) and have Jedi documents to prove it (as opposed to Yoda's clouded speculation)- wouldn't somebody else?

Well written, nonetheless. I've come to expect good things from you. Keep expanding the bounds of your literary knowledge (ie- reading) and develop your plotting skills (look to screenwriting texts and Shakespearean analysis for excellent breakdowns of plot structure)- I foresee an income as the result.

Author: Viari Skywalker  (signed)
Date posted: 5/9/2004 8:24:48 PM
Viari Skywalker's Comments:

Thank you all for your kind comments and thoughtful critiques. :) Thanks also to my betas, Stormtrooper_Shrink and Cara De!

This piece started out as a snippet from a made-up prophecy about the Chosen One. I posted it in the JC forum without expecting to do much more with it. It was semi-inspired by Biblical prophecies I'd been reading recently, and I'd been struggling with writing more for some of my other pieces, so I just wrote out the first prophecy. Then the plot bunny bit.

I realized that it would be very unusual for a friend of Anakin's - a Padawan - to discover that Anakin was the destroyer if no other Jedi could even suspect it. I tried to gradually show that these prophecies were very old and so radical that most Jedi scholars dismissed them. By the time Zavra finds them, they are all but forgotten. The reason a mere Padawan is able to find them is because he has some prophetic ability. His vision is what allows him to realize that Anakin is the destroyer/savior. No other Jedi has this vision. Is it the will of the Force that Zavra should have found the ancient texts? Is it the will of the Force that Zavra should fail to warn anyone of the coming doom? That is for the reader to decide.

I think leia_naberrie said it best: "Or perhaps, that is part of the chain of events that led to the Rise of Vader, the destiny of the Sun of the Sons - that, like Cassandra in Greek lore, the prophecy would be understood by someone who is not heard." In the end, the Force is balanced. We all know what happens. I wanted to enrich the tale that has already been told.

Once again, thank you!

Author: leia__naberrie
Date posted: 5/14/2004 2:32:40 AM
leia__naberrie's Comments:

I just dropped in again to say that I think the cover art is brilliant... Putting the actual words of the prophecy in a very realistic looking ancient parchment was nothing short of genius.... and then I saw a personal reply to my comment. What a nice surprise!

Author: Viari Skywalker  (signed)
Date posted: 5/14/2004 12:04:57 PM
Viari Skywalker's Comments:

boushh2187 was actually the one who made the cover, but I agree, I think it's perfect. :)

Author: jade_etes
Date posted: 10/15/2004 11:18:47 AM
jade_etes's Comments:

I loved the way the entries were laid out, as being ancient texts, and how the modern Jedi's dreams were also prophetic. Very vivid, and very well written!

Author: Ani-maniac  (signed)
Date posted: 11/26/2004 11:47:56 PM
Ani-maniac's Comments:

I loved this story! It was wonderful! It was so ironic that Anakin came so close to being warned about his future. I also loved the way you included the speech from the movies, "twilight is upon them, and now night must fall," and "A more civilized age." It was wonderfully written!!!

Author: Darth-Buddy
Date posted: 2/20/2006 12:10:58 AM
Darth-Buddy's Comments:

Really excellent and sad at the same times. I loved the prophecies, they were very well written. Why didn't Yoda pick up on some of these prophetic words????

Author: fallenkedipadawan
Date posted: 5/4/2008 6:48:47 PM
fallenkedipadawan's Comments:

yikes it's Master Rook. lol I laughed so hard when I saw that because my teacher's name is rook and he is kind of creepy like he told us the other day the earth uses the force to create earth quakes and instead of actully doing wotk in his class we just watch star wars. anyways this was a great story. thanks.