Author: Nemesis
(signed)
Date posted: 6/30/2008 5:26:34 PM
Nemesis's Comments:
Thank you so much to VaderLVR and Gabri_Jade, who very kindly beta'd this for me and without whose help I would have been lost, and to everyone who read it when it was first posted to the boards! :D
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Author: Writernoob12
Date posted: 7/1/2008 5:45:04 AM
Writernoob12's Comments:
I liked the writing style, the paragraphs were short and concise, very clear. Also the use of the song and word choice were moving. The story is slightly vague, the name of the narrator would be nice and a bit more background, but it isn't necessary if this is all of the story. All in all very deep.
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Author: Gabri_Jade
(signed)
Date posted: 7/2/2008 9:49:57 PM
Gabri_Jade's Comments:
I'm so glad to see this in the Archive. Mara's situation is so heartrending; it's impossible not to sympathize with her, even as one shivers at the thought of the galaxy in the hands of this Luke and Leia. Additionally, he writing is haunting and melodic, and stays with the reader long after the story is finished.
Beautiful work. Thanks for sharing it with us. :)
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Author: Ubersue
(signed)
Date posted: 10/4/2008 12:43:35 PM
Ubersue's Comments:
Where to begin? I read this weeks ago and thought I really ought to comment now. This is by far my favourite fic I have read since I found this site. Nemesis, are you seriously only nineteen? Craziness.
First off, the use of the ballad as a framing device. The convention for ballads to be simple, repetative, and full of emotional punch parellels nicely with the mental and emotional loop in which Mara is stuck. The fact that the song is ancient, apparently coming from a time before space travel among humans in the GFFA, adds to the creepiness factor for me, because it suggests that Mara really never is going to escape, and this same type of scenario will keep on repeating itself for all eternity, generation after generation.
I love the ambiguity of the last image, of Luke hesitating at the door "shining in the Force like a newly born sun" (if I quoted that right). Maybe watching his wife sing to his daughter changes something in him, maybe he is reminded of what kind of person he used to be and how he used to love her. Or maybe he's jealous that Leia went to her mother instead of him and he is thinking that Mara might be able to influence her toward good, and he should consider getting rid of her. Either way, Mara doesn't get to know what he's thinking. It's a very bleak scenario with a very faint suggestion of hope, so subtle that even Mara may not be conscious of it.
Subtle, gorgeous, and creepy. A seemingly simple vignette layered with emotional complexity that, despite its trajedy, never feels contrived.
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