Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 12/16/2002 10:06:28 PM
obaona's Comments:

I would like to thank all my betas: Jira for all the *screams* and *gasps*, Leslie for all the help with sithly commas, dcboy39 for catching the typos, and matth2extreme for help with that first battle scene.

And thanks most especially to mother, for reading it all despite having little interest in Star Wars. :)

Author: vader-incarnate  (signed)
Date posted: 12/16/2002 10:28:12 PM
vader-incarnate's Comments:

*hug* Wonderful, oba! We all knew you would make it - yet again - and this is a wonderful addition to the archive! Every part of this long, long piece is perfectly and carefully done, showing a kind of dedication and perseverance I know *I* don't have. The plot twists, the surprising ending all make this read enjoyable and worthwhile.

*hugs harder* We love you, oba! :D

Author: Shadow69
Date posted: 12/18/2002 6:46:57 PM
Shadow69's Comments:

Oh...My...God!
dude that totally ruled, it literally took me all afternoon to read (about 530PM to 945)
at first when i saw it i didnt wanna read it cuz im not a fan of Alternate Reality peices....but i was bored and ive read most other works on here
so wut the hell...read it for fun
and..WOW...thats THE BEST ive ever read...just kinda sux that Vader died but he deserved it...good job, keep 'em coming

Author: An Underpaid Critic
Date posted: 12/18/2002 7:09:25 PM
An Underpaid Critic's Comments:

Most impressive. That is probably one of the best altaverses that I have read. You captured Vader's character perfectly, something which is extremely hard to do. Also, the revised "Luke I am your father" scene was great. The political intrigue, the council all give credit to your potential. Maybe you should write for profit?

Author: Jenos  (signed)
Date posted: 12/18/2002 11:03:38 PM
Jenos's Comments:

oooh...Hello there! This is great, GREATNESS indeed! This fic is a brilliant piece of work, Oba, and you know that even though I've already read this and said it on the boards, it deserves to be said again:

Brilliant.

Absolutely and utterly. Great job once again!

Author: silentdarth
Date posted: 12/20/2002 2:39:55 PM
silentdarth's Comments:

All I can say is wow. That is easily the best fanfic I have ever read. Your characterizations were amazing. The attention to detail and the way you can write the emotions to the point that the reader actually feels it is breathtaking. I hate to gush, but this was awesome. Very long, and my work today suffered, but it was worth it. It gives a whole new spin to the SW universe, and you did very well. I would like to see this as an Infinities storyline. The love story might be taken out, but any criticisms, are nitpicky at best, and can't really bear any weight. Very well done.

Author: Bant428  (signed)
Date posted: 12/20/2002 2:53:39 PM
Bant428's Comments:

u forgot me, oboana! I betad this fic, too! =-( =-). anyhow, I looooooove this story. keep sending me those stories!

Author: matth2extreme
Date posted: 12/20/2002 3:04:17 PM
matth2extreme's Comments:

Hey I'm glad to have helped you with this story. Sorry I got behind in reading it though, but now that it's completed I'll certainly have to give it a read. You did a good job on this, I'm glad you stuck with it for so long! Holla!

Author: Acaciah
Date posted: 12/20/2002 3:29:55 PM
Acaciah's Comments:

Great Fic! I couldn't tear away until I'd read it all!

Author: Jedi_Kara  (signed)
Date posted: 12/20/2002 3:51:55 PM
Jedi_Kara's Comments:

This is so cool!!! I disliked that fact that Leia was dead but it does make sense. I loved this!

Author: Nova
Date posted: 12/20/2002 6:44:00 PM
Nova's Comments:

Wow.

That was the best EU I have ever read. Obi-Wan, Vader, Luke, and Bant were written perfectly. I wasn't sure about Mace Windu playing the antagonist for the first half of the story, but I accepted his change since the Clone Wars. Somewhat bordering on dark-side, but he, like Luke and like Obi-Wan, chose the light.
Palpy was awesome. Super-evil, and the multiple climaxes were all astonishing. Very good work.
One question - where was Kit Fisto!?

Author: Imke
Date posted: 12/21/2002 4:46:30 AM
Imke's Comments:

An entertaining story, but I have several problems with the characterisation, even for an AU. First, I don't think it's likely Vader would have killed Leia simply because she's the "spare twin". Even if you exclude the aspect the man still has feelings and see it purely from a cold, pragmatic pov, it still makes no sense: does he know how Luke is going to turn out? Better to have two potential Siths in case one fails.
WITH the human pov, it makes even less sense. Both OT and prequels emphasize the supreme importance of family to Anakin/Vader. The man who goes beserk when losing his mother, the man who can't kill his son and ultimately sacrifices his life for him simply couldn't have developed into the Vader you describe.
Next, there's Obi-Wan. Sorry, but I don't see him as a saint. A good man, absolutely, but one with several flaws.
Most of all, the ending: it's precisely the neat, standard "good guys kill bad guys" scenario which Lucas managed to avoid. This dissappointed me. Especially since it's possible to write an AU and still retain some complexity and shades of grey, for example in Fernwithy's and Ami-Padme's "By the Grace of Lady Vader", or Marnie's "Redemption."

Author: Imke
Date posted: 12/21/2002 4:47:04 AM
Imke's Comments:

An entertaining story, but I have several problems with the characterisation, even for an AU. First, I don't think it's likely Vader would have killed Leia simply because she's the "spare twin". Even if you exclude the aspect the man still has feelings and see it purely from a cold, pragmatic pov, it still makes no sense: does he know how Luke is going to turn out? Better to have two potential Siths in case one fails.
WITH the human pov, it makes even less sense. Both OT and prequels emphasize the supreme importance of family to Anakin/Vader. The man who goes beserk when losing his mother, the man who can't kill his son and ultimately sacrifices his life for him simply couldn't have developed into the Vader you describe.
Next, there's Obi-Wan. Sorry, but I don't see him as a saint. A good man, absolutely, but one with several flaws.
Most of all, the ending: it's precisely the neat, standard "good guys kill bad guys" scenario which Lucas managed to avoid. This dissappointed me. Especially since it's possible to write an AU and still retain some complexity and shades of grey, for example in Fernwithy's and Ami-Padme's "By the Grace of Lady Vader", or Marnie's "Redemption."

Author: Imke
Date posted: 12/21/2002 4:47:25 AM
Imke's Comments:

An entertaining story, but I have several problems with the characterisation, even for an AU. First, I don't think it's likely Vader would have killed Leia simply because she's the "spare twin". Even if you exclude the aspect the man still has feelings and see it purely from a cold, pragmatic pov, it still makes no sense: does he know how Luke is going to turn out? Better to have two potential Siths in case one fails.
WITH the human pov, it makes even less sense. Both OT and prequels emphasize the supreme importance of family to Anakin/Vader. The man who goes beserk when losing his mother, the man who can't kill his son and ultimately sacrifices his life for him simply couldn't have developed into the Vader you describe.
Next, there's Obi-Wan. Sorry, but I don't see him as a saint. A good man, absolutely, but one with several flaws.
Most of all, the ending: it's precisely the neat, standard "good guys kill bad guys" scenario which Lucas managed to avoid. This dissappointed me. Especially since it's possible to write an AU and still retain some complexity and shades of grey, for example in Fernwithy's and Ami-Padme's "By the Grace of Lady Vader", or Marnie's "Redemption."

Author: Imke
Date posted: 12/21/2002 4:48:20 AM
Imke's Comments:

An entertaining story, but I have several problems with the characterisation, even for an AU. First, I don't think it's likely Vader would have killed Leia simply because she's the "spare twin". Even if you exclude the aspect the man still has feelings and see it purely from a cold, pragmatic pov, it still makes no sense: does he know how Luke is going to turn out? Better to have two potential Siths in case one fails.
WITH the human pov, it makes even less sense. Both OT and prequels emphasize the supreme importance of family to Anakin/Vader. The man who goes beserk when losing his mother, the man who can't kill his son and ultimately sacrifices his life for him simply couldn't have developed into the Vader you describe.
Next, there's Obi-Wan. Sorry, but I don't see him as a saint. A good man, absolutely, but one with several flaws.
Most of all, the ending: it's precisely the neat, standard "good guys kill bad guys" scenario which Lucas managed to avoid. This dissappointed me. Especially since it's possible to write an AU and still retain some complexity and shades of grey, for example in Fernwithy's and Ami-Padme's "By the Grace of Lady Vader", or Marnie's "Redemption."

Author: Imke
Date posted: 12/21/2002 4:50:51 AM
Imke's Comments:

An entertaining story, but I have several problems with the characterisation, even for an AU. First, I don't think it's likely Vader would have killed Leia simply because she's the "spare twin". Even if you exclude the aspect the man still has feelings and see it purely from a cold, pragmatic pov, it still makes no sense: does he know how Luke is going to turn out? Better to have two potential Siths in case one fails.
WITH the human pov, it makes even less sense. Both OT and prequels emphasize the supreme importance of family to Anakin/Vader. The man who goes beserk when losing his mother, the man who can't kill his son and ultimately sacrifices his life for him simply couldn't have developed into the Vader you describe.
Next, there's Obi-Wan. Sorry, but I don't see him as a saint. A good man, absolutely, but one with several flaws.
Most of all, the ending: it's precisely the neat, standard "good guys kill bad guys" scenario which Lucas managed to avoid. This dissappointed me. Especially since it's possible to write an AU and still retain some complexity and shades of grey, for example in Fernwithy's and Ami-Padme's "By the Grace of Lady Vader", or Marnie's "Redemption."

Author: jay
Date posted: 12/21/2002 9:53:44 AM
jay's Comments:

I rated it a ten, but this one goes to 11. Lucas seriously needs to hire writers like this for the prequels.

Author: Barissa
Date posted: 12/21/2002 5:07:01 PM
Barissa's Comments:

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.


Simply moving. Wow. Usually I don't like alternet universe stuff, but WOW. Obaona, you did a simply wonderful job. EXCELENT job!!!!

Author: Oldy Von Moldy
Date posted: 12/21/2002 6:06:33 PM
Oldy Von Moldy's Comments:

Just absolutely wonderful. You are to be commended for all your hard work, bravo. Not an easy thing to write a story that stretches nearly 72,000 words, and it's even harder to keep it interesting to the reader, and you have done that and more. I must disagree with some comments made by an earlier post. Seems to me Vadar, in this alternate universe, could kill Leia. It's right there in the story. As a Sith, he can only use one apprentice at a time and it's too much of a risk to leave Leia alive, the Jedi could find her--and possibly train her. That idea is also nicely echoed by the idea of the Jedi not tolerating Sith children. Although on the surface it may seen to be un-Jedi-like behavior, the cruel expediency of war makes it clear why the Jedi have adopted that opinion. As for the idea, mentioned in an earlier post, of Obi-Wan being a saint, well, I didn't read it that way. In fact, I thought his character so very fully drawn and I can't disagree with a thing about it. Why quibble over story points that are unique to this story and not canon? Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed Obaona's story, as much as any published work I have recently read. Wow, what a great story. Obaona, you should really consider becoming a professional writer. Don't worry about the commas or grammatical snafus. You can pick that stuff up as you go along, just keep a good reference book or two at your side. By the way, you might want to try screenwriting, your style, in many ways, seems uniquely suited toward it. Also, a feature screenplay is roughly the same word count as what you have here--actually, a bit shorter. Good luck to you, your story is a wonderful accomplishment to be proud of.

Author: Qui Gon Dave
Date posted: 12/22/2002 11:08:27 AM
Qui Gon Dave's Comments:

Well worth reading it was, took a lot of time it did, but what a fantastic story!!!!!!!!

Author: bundy397
Date posted: 12/22/2002 6:57:08 PM
bundy397's Comments:

This is truly one of the greatest Star Wars works of art that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Obaono, you deserve a place in the hallowed council that the author's of the Star Wars universe have the honor of membership to. I would recommend this piece of art to any Star Wars fan. Your illiteration of characters and use of an alternate universe is a stroke of genius. Thank you for making my holiday a little more enjoyable. -Bundy397

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 12/23/2002 8:40:01 PM
obaona's Comments:

First, I'd like to add that Bant Eerin (swbant), also beta-ed this. :) She was invaluable. :)

Thanks to everyone who liked this, or even just read it. :) I appreciate you taking the time. I would respond to the comment that criticized my story, but I think another post did that better than I could. ;)

Yes, I do plan to write professionally. I am currently doing research for an original story. Never gave much thought to screenplays, though. ;)

Thanks, everyone, for reading and taking the time to give comments. At the moment, comments are the only way I get paid. ;)

Author: Sippio
Date posted: 12/27/2002 9:32:55 AM
Sippio's Comments:

Very nice. the 2nd half had me sucked in. I liked the dark style that the council kicks. The space battle was awesome...thanks

Author: Nol-Tel-Sete
Date posted: 12/30/2002 12:36:23 PM
Nol-Tel-Sete's Comments:

I love the story I found it to be well thoght out. It is one of the best alter universe story lines that I have ever read. I do not believe that the Jedi Would resort to killing the young children just because they where touched by the dark side. The Jedi always has knowen that to fall to the dark side is a matter of choice not design. Other then that I thought your interputtations ofthe events was great.

Author: Owe-me-one Perogi
Date posted: 1/3/2003 10:14:44 PM
Owe-me-one Perogi's Comments:

Loved it. Mothing more to say. :)

Author: Owe-me-one Perogi
Date posted: 1/3/2003 10:18:01 PM
Owe-me-one Perogi's Comments:

Sorry, I'm a little slow, don't know the difference b/w an N and an M..

What I meant to say (which apparently wasn't very true) was:

*Nothing more to say.*

Thankyou.

Author: Sindel
Date posted: 1/5/2003 6:26:31 PM
Sindel's Comments:

Good story, but...*cries* Poor Vadey died! Wahhhh!

Author: Phanatik  (signed)
Date posted: 1/9/2003 6:14:00 PM
Phanatik's Comments:

great job oba, just as good now as when i betad it (this is dcboy, i finally have my email fixed too so i can start betaing again :) lol well great job, great plot, great story :) i enjoyed reading it :)

Author: Tycalibur  (signed)
Date posted: 1/12/2003 11:26:12 AM
Tycalibur's Comments:

A wonderful addition to the Alternate Universe stories. I could almost see it happening that way.........Vader kidnapping Luke and Leia. GL will have a great deal to explain what Vader did or did not know about the twins in 2005. :)

For me, Leia's death was the saddest part of the story. It helps the reader gain an immediate hatred for Vader, and personally gave me no remorse to see Luke cut him down.

Very thought-provoking, thanks for a great read.

Tycalibur

Author: RamRed
Date posted: 1/13/2003 12:43:56 PM
RamRed's Comments:

I started to read this story, but was a little put off by the fact that Obi-Wan deliberately kidnapped someone's child. Even if he was the son of a Sith lord. And worse, the Jedi Council did not seem bothered by this. Before I consider finishing this story, I hope that both Obi-Wan and the other Jedi did regret this action. If not, I don't think I want to bother reading the rest of this.

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 1/13/2003 3:07:41 PM
obaona's Comments:

First of all, what Obi-Wan did - taking Luke - was perfectly reasonable. Are you suggesting it would have been more moral to leave an innocent child with a man who would turn his son into a monster - and even if he didn't, his Master would? Sith are evil. Taking this into account, Luke would likely have suffered horribly.

Also, I ask that you read the entire story before commenting negatively - or at all - on it. Otherwise, your opinion is hardly valid.

That said, thank you to all the others that have commented. I really appreciate it. :)

Author: Jedi_LordKenobi  (signed)
Date posted: 1/15/2003 6:39:45 AM
Jedi_LordKenobi's Comments:

Wow! Boy, is this story ever so good! You're a great author!

Author: Devastator
Date posted: 1/23/2003 5:38:49 AM
Devastator's Comments:

A very good read, and an interesting perspective on the Force 'shielding' oneself. It brought an aspect crucial to the story and is quite reasonable, considering.
I enjoyed it on my daily commute this past couple of days - Thanks for sharing it!
P.S. You should consider contacting an agent or Editior somewhere....

Author: RamRed
Date posted: 1/23/2003 12:17:20 PM
RamRed's Comments:

I finished your story, "Tainted Child" and I still didn't like it. I'm sorry. I simply cannot agree with Obi-Wan's decision to steal Luke from his father, whether or not the father is a Sith Lord. It seems as if Obi-Wan is using morality as an excuse to commit the act of kidnapping. Even worse, you changed Vader's character - allowing him no remorse or chance at redemption. And your story never gave Luke the chance to reconcile with his own father. It turned me off.

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 1/23/2003 12:48:16 PM
obaona's Comments:

That's perfectly fine. I knew when I wrote this story that the whole Vader/Luke thing would turn some people off - and it certainly shocked a good many people.

But I must disagree on Obi-Wan kidnapping Luke. You are basically saying that Obi-Wan should not have done something illegal (which kidnapping is), even if it saved the child from coming to harm by his own parent. Would any person leave a child, knowing that the child would be abused? Abuse of a child is a horrible thing, and to be avoided at all costs. That you think otherwise simply makes no sense to me. However, you are entitled to your opinion and I respect that.

To all my other readers - thanks for reading. :)

Author: Jedi Dax Jentor
Date posted: 1/24/2003 12:56:51 PM
Jedi Dax Jentor's Comments:

Wow, I love the story. A great AU. You handle the characters really well. The only critique I have for you is this. The story needs another really good edit. Through out the story, some sentences and paragraphs do not make sense. Many sentences caused me to re-read them several times, and while being able to understand them, they were not put together as well as they could be. So basically a really good edit and read through would help finalize the story. But as for the story as a whole….AWESOME!

Author: Rabid Rob  (signed)
Date posted: 1/24/2003 6:41:19 PM
Rabid Rob's Comments:

Awesome story! As someone who's planning to submit work for this archive, I can see the standard I have to live up to!

Author: crystalrain
Date posted: 1/26/2003 3:30:41 AM
crystalrain's Comments:

The best AU fanfic i've read so far (actually i haven't read that many but i still think it's really really good). It's a clever story that explores family reltionships not only between vader and luke but between luke and obi-wan - luke has to decide who he owes the most to plus make a desicion on whether to turn to the dark side. Leias death makes lukes decison even more important as she never got to make that decision and everything rests on lukes shoulders. Also - just a thought, this but it is possible that the reason that vader was away when obi-wan kidnapped luke was becauses he was off hunting down leia? If he was it's kinda neat because vader lost both children at once because of his own selfishness and evil - if vader had not killed leia, luke would not have been kidnapped and trained as a jedi and destroyed vader so it's his own fault really. I know i've thought about this way too much but i have a very very boring monotonous job.
Anyway, like this fanfiction i do, yes.

Author: Jedi_Author
Date posted: 2/23/2003 8:55:01 AM
Jedi_Author's Comments:

overall, this story had a brilliant plotline, and i loved the portrayal of Luke and Obi-Wan. However, i thought you went a bit too far into the master/padawan bond and i didnt really like any of the whole going inside Luke's and Obi-Wan's minds and stuff. apart from that, excellent work.

Author: Arentuin  (signed)
Date posted: 3/26/2003 4:58:35 PM
Arentuin's Comments:

I really like it!! It's good to see Obi Wan have a sensitivwe side.

Author: Yoda2003
Date posted: 5/22/2003 8:17:21 AM
Yoda2003's Comments:

I thought your story was GREAT! It captured Palpatine's evil perfectly, and it showed how Qui-Gon had rubbed off on Obi-Wan, with Obi rescuing Luke from his father. I think it is entirely possible for the council to act that way to protect their own. Your story was AWESOME!!=)

Author: Sam Skywalker
Date posted: 5/26/2003 1:22:15 AM
Sam Skywalker's Comments:

This story is absolutely fantastic. I literally could not stop until I finished. Incredible.

Author: Sam Skywalker
Date posted: 5/26/2003 1:22:24 AM
Sam Skywalker's Comments:

This story is absolutely fantastic. I literally could not stop until I finished. Incredible.

Author: snowbear96
Date posted: 5/27/2003 3:46:29 AM
snowbear96's Comments:

Great story, I read it about 2 weeks ago, yesterday at school we sang a hymm and one of the lines was, 'search my, try me, consume all my darkness' and i thought that fitted in very well with OB1's and the Council's mind probing of Luke.

Author: Senator Leia  (signed)
Date posted: 6/15/2003 9:10:13 PM
Senator Leia's Comments:

Amazine, Wow, great, awesome, incredible!!! It showed an awesome bond between Obi and Luke. I was about to cry when the council riped through Lukes mind. That was so sad. Great job. Keep them coming.

Author: Count Boobu
Date posted: 7/14/2003 2:06:56 AM
Count Boobu's Comments:

This is one of the first AU fics I've ever read and I must say that it's fantastic! Great Job!

Author: mousketer
Date posted: 7/18/2003 8:52:07 PM
mousketer's Comments:

Wow, I'm speechless.... This is a great story, it's nice and LONG! Extremely original...wow. I loved your characterizations, all of them, that's the beauty of AU fics they don't have to follow cannon ;). I'm starting to sound repetitive but I just can't get over the fact that this is such an amazing story. It's absolutely captivating, it didn't bore me at all. Wonderfully written, with excellent and unexpected plot twists, not in the least bit predictable. Though I was a little upset that leia was killed, she wasn't even introduced :(.( I missed the twin interaction.) Yet I see how that added to Vader's characterization, if he could kill his own daughter he is most definitely not capable of love, which leads to him not being redeemed, makes sense. Nice twist, kenobi killing the emperor. A wonderful read and expertly written (with the occasional typo).

Thank you.

Author: PrincessBeccerz
Date posted: 8/27/2003 7:41:57 PM
PrincessBeccerz's Comments:

Oh dear god. Oba, I cannot believe it took me almost a year of coming to this website to read this fantastic story. I felt as though I was actually there, and I loved it. To be sure, Leia is a fantastic character, but I think I almost like this better than the OT. You are a fansastic writer oba, and I hope to see more of your works in the future.
May The Force Be With You, my friend.
~PrincessBeccerz~

Author: Darkmoon_90  (signed)
Date posted: 3/31/2004 5:25:02 AM
Darkmoon_90's Comments:

Finally finished, all 159 pages of it. My verdict: absoultely stellary fantastic! My only nag is the lenght but I usually nag cos the fics are too short so just ignore me (I'm very hard to please in the length aspect) So anyway loved it and look forward to many more stories in the not too distant future!

Author: Darkmoon_90  (signed)
Date posted: 4/24/2004 4:00:48 AM
Darkmoon_90's Comments:

The best fan-fic I've probably read so far. Only quibble like most peps is the length but interstellar from start to fin.

Author: Darth_Lowe
Date posted: 9/9/2004 4:21:36 PM
Darth_Lowe's Comments:

That was AWESOME, probably the best Fanfic I've ever read. Great job with Luke and his struggle.

Really enjoyed this one.

Author: Darth_Lowe
Date posted: 9/9/2004 4:21:40 PM
Darth_Lowe's Comments:

That was AWESOME, probably the best Fanfic I've ever read. Great job with Luke and his struggle.

Really enjoyed this one.

Author: MutantJediBauer
Date posted: 9/25/2004 6:20:11 PM
MutantJediBauer's Comments:

Woah.

- Is too stunned to speak highly enough of the story in it's inspired, awesome greatness. -

I loved it. Completely AU, one of the most AU I've ever read, and a section of FF that doesn't seem to be explored to it's true extent at times. This tale obviously excluded.

Definately a hard standard, and high bar to match. Loved the characterization too, Obi-Wan's my favorite character, and you kept him that way, I've seen him get pretty bizzare sometimes. Never on this site of course, it always takes the best of the best, but other sites. The continuing memories and things that tied in with the movies was awesome, as were the descriptions. You could really visualize the places, the feelings, what was going on.

Keep writing, you're gifted.

Author: jabba  (signed)
Date posted: 2/23/2005 9:11:17 PM
jabba's Comments:

That was so GREAT!! i love this fan-fic the battle between Vader Luke and (sort of ) Obi -Wan i kept thinking that Obi was gonna die it was so tense all in all great story!! 10/10

Author: JediMasterSyn
Date posted: 4/19/2005 8:58:57 PM
JediMasterSyn's Comments:

Well done my dear!! I loved it and wanted more!! Just simply well done!! Thank you for sharing!! May The Force Be With You Always!

Author: Blue Yeti
Date posted: 5/24/2005 5:00:09 AM
Blue Yeti's Comments:

This was truely a wonderful way to sporatically spend the last two days. I enjoyed every minute, and possibly dropped a ranking or two in English and History because reading this marvelous creation kept me busy.

Firstly, many congratulations are necessary: firstly, for having the guts to finish a one-shot as long as this one. Secondly, for actually making me *like* Luke, (possibly because he was so easily and constantly separated from Mark Hamil in your version) which is a very mean feat. Thirdly, your understanding of the construction of action scenes is truely remarkable - it is rare to see a fanfiction writer who is as skilled or dedicated as you are in constructing detailed action and convoluted plot.

I enjoyed the heavy focus on Obi-Wan's character and actions, as well as adoring the images of child!Luke when they popped up so unexpectedly. To those who said that Vader's killing of Leia was outside of his character, it seemed rational when aligned with what the Jedi Council did, and I think that it was a remarkably clever way to rearrange the events of <i>Return of the Jedi</i> to make Anakin's turning impossible, as well as the more emotionally powerful image of Luke killing Anakin an option. It was beautifully constructed.

The single qualm I have about this fic is the development of the relationship between Obi-Wan and Kyalla. I understand this relationship's purpose, to completely separate Obi-Wan from his previous life, his past deeds are all healed with Luke's understanding of the Light etc etc, and in that way it was handled nicely and with a deal of care. It was the actual *development* that threw me - or, rather, the lack of time/attention you gave it. You explained it as 'developed into something more over the past six years' and suddenly had proclaimations of wanting to have each other's babies. It seemed like a cop-out to the development of these two major characters, and something which should have been done more skillfully so as not to undermine the ending and what you were trying to say in that.

I could ramble on about this for another hour or so, but I've already got the first page of Water's Edge up and am aching to move onto that one, which I can assume I will not be disappointed with.

Author: Cosmic Castaway
Date posted: 5/27/2005 3:04:58 PM
Cosmic Castaway's Comments:

Okay, you are actually the first person I have ever reviewed for Star Wars. I just recently got into wanting to read some of the fanfic’s, and I found this story. WHOA. That was a GREAT job you did. I’m sitting here trying to think all I want to say to you, you have a natural way of telling a story and keeping you HOOKED! I think sometimes I have this knack for not being able to stay focus, guess can blame my ADHD on this, but you kept me so entrapped, I had to read every word.

I got off work and immediately came back to finish this story, the relationship with Obie and Luke was just you did a beautiful bond between them, the emotions you got across in your words was just outstanding, just great!

From another writer to another, I want to tell you, that I hope I can write just as good as you one day. You really did a beautiful job on this story. Congratulations on such a wonderful piece!!!!

Author: alpestars
Date posted: 7/14/2005 10:53:01 PM
alpestars's Comments:

I have to say, I'm normally a lurker, but I am reviewing because I absolutely love your /novel/.

You are a good writer. You are a very good writer. You are a very very good writer. (How many times can I emphasize this?) I'm quite in awe at how talented you are at description - setting the stage and background - with every scene (especially the fight/battle action ones) and your ability to *write* in-character emotions. (I liked the Obi angst XD.)

I had to finish this in one night; I couldn't have slept. Thanks for a very good story!

Author: Darth Slaya
Date posted: 8/3/2005 12:13:31 AM
Darth Slaya's Comments:

Bravo...Bravo it is the best fan fic i have EVER read it is just great and there is nothing more to it it is just absolutly out of this world. I think the writers should write an alternet ending to this WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF OBI-WAN NEVER RESCUUED LUKE FROM VADER WHEN HE WAS FIE THAT WOULD BE AWSUME!!!!!

Author: Darth Slaya
Date posted: 8/3/2005 1:58:20 AM
Darth Slaya's Comments:

I sorry it is realy late and of course i mispeled some things in my last comment. i ment to say Rescued and five.

Author: I'mTheManInBlack
Date posted: 6/22/2006 5:02:06 PM
I'mTheManInBlack's Comments:

Great AU story. A few plot holes, but good enought to make a novel.

Author: Grace
Date posted: 10/6/2006 2:25:17 PM
Grace's Comments:

Icredible. Absolutely incredible.

Author: yoda'spadawon
Date posted: 11/30/2006 4:37:02 PM
yoda'spadawon's Comments:

THIS WAS AMAZING!!! I ran across this while browsing, and I couldn't stop reading. Had to stop for class, and even THEN couldn't stop wondering what was gonna happen and how it would all turn out. (Which usually isn't good in college!) I love how you integrated Leia into the story, without having her actually there; cause then SHE would have to be rescued, and trained, and Han would be involved, and all that gobledy-gook! This story was fun because reading it was simular to the Jedi Apprentice series, but it was more absorbing and it was about Luke and Obi. That's something I've been wanting to read for a LONG TIME! Thanks for writing such a fabulous story, and I hope you write some more! I hardly know what to do with my time, now that I have no more story to read! "One Tear!"

Author: Padme Casperia Skywalker
Date posted: 2/16/2008 6:51:05 PM
Padme Casperia Skywalker's Comments:

WONDERFUL!

I hope you make a sequel about their children!

Author: wover30  (signed)
Date posted: 3/4/2008 4:22:52 PM
wover30's Comments:

Wow, I'm on a winning streak today, I keep on finding the most amazing stories and this one definitely counts as amazing. I still have a couple tears in my eyes and I feel really honored to have had the privilege to have read this incredible fan fiction. Good job and great writing.

Wover

Author: Annie
Date posted: 12/17/2010 12:14:30 AM
Annie's Comments:

I rarely comment but I had to. I enjoy AUs generally but the one thing I ask is that characterization be kept consistent. I had a difficult time with your Obi-Wan and your Vader. If Obi-wan the long-suffering saint wasn't bad enough, your Vader is so one dimensionally evil. I realize this was written prior to ROTS but even Vader as we knew him in the OT - okay, maybe not ANH- had dimension.

It's well-written but the characterization is not only a turn-off but it turns the major players into playing one-dimensional shadows of themselves. I'm sure those who adore Obi-Wan Kenobi with blind devotion will adore it though. I, as someone who tries to see all characters as they are, was disappointed.