Date posted: 6/29/2004 6:00:52 AM
NICE.....I like the internal momologue that Anakin/Vader has. It is very remeniscent of my favorite Metallica song, "One", and the lyric "Darkness imprisioning me, all that I see, absolute horror. I cannot live, I cannot die..." Cool.
Author: Barefoot Contessa
Date posted: 6/29/2004 6:28:30 PM
Barefoot Contessa's Comments:
Very interesting...I don't think I have ever read a fic quite like this one. It is very attention grabbing the way you make Anakin/Vader struggle to regain his memory and sight. Also, nice introspection and final realization of who and what he is.
Date posted: 6/29/2004 7:29:22 PM
I really liked this story; first-person perspectives of this nature rock! Good job on describing your version of the TRUE descent of anakin skywalker.
Author: Seriously Dark
Date posted: 6/30/2004 5:18:16 AM
Seriously Dark's Comments:
Incredible! Great use of spoilers! I love the way you slowly pieced his thoughts together, and that one of the first emotions to come forth was jealousy! Keep up the good work!
Date posted: 6/30/2004 1:54:36 PM
I didn't much like this story. Most of it seems just like rambling.
Author: Darth Imperious
Date posted: 7/1/2004 7:02:17 PM
Darth Imperious's Comments:
One word. "TIGHT!'
Date posted: 7/1/2004 11:25:09 PM
this is P.I.M.P.
Date posted: 7/3/2004 9:46:50 AM
Author: Anthony N
Date posted: 7/3/2004 10:41:04 AM
Anthony N's Comments:
This is amazing! Great show of work!
Author: C and B torture
Date posted: 7/3/2004 1:10:45 PM
C and B torture's Comments:
Great story...hopefully GL will give us some insight into Anakin's transformation while he is being attended to.
Date posted: 7/3/2004 11:13:41 PM
Um..i suppose that was o.k. it was interesting enuff to keep me reading it the whole way trhu. And it's good how you kept to the plot. But overall, i found it sort of boring, messy, and a little like Anakin was rambling on about nothing.
Author: Sattar Pirzada
Date posted: 7/4/2004 8:26:56 AM
Sattar Pirzada's Comments:
This is one of the best fan fiction pieces I have read to date. I like the way you changed the mood from curiosity to pride to hate.....anakin's pattern before he became darth vader. Excellent stuff. I hope GL has some spare reading time
Date posted: 7/4/2004 8:47:43 PM
Good! Some of the OT lines were not needed and kind of messed it up a bit but the idea of looking into Anakin's thoughts while he is gaining his conciousness is great.
Date posted: 7/5/2004 9:45:42 AM
Pretty Good, nothing mindblowing, definitely wisps of "One", but more the book it was based on: "Johnny, Get Your Gun". Seemed to wrap up a little too quickly, but definitely well written.
Date posted: 7/5/2004 2:36:36 PM
Dialogue was kind of tright.. Not the kind of thought process that really goes in in one's head. Interesting idea for a story, but too many phrases stolen from ESB and ROTJ
Date posted: 7/5/2004 7:22:43 PM
Nice work. I am curious, have you ever read the book [/i]Johnny got his Gun[/]? Or seen the music
video for "One" by Metallica? You should check them
Date posted: 7/5/2004 8:46:15 PM
pretty good. it might be a first person glimpse of what anakin will go through in his conversion.
i don't think they will put it in the movie though
Date posted: 7/6/2004 5:22:19 AM
Flaming isn't allowed. You've been warned before.
Author: VAdeR HatEr
Date posted: 7/6/2004 6:34:03 AM
VAdeR HatEr's Comments:
No flames please.
Date posted: 7/6/2004 6:43:55 AM
Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Flaming is not.
Date posted: 7/6/2004 7:02:10 AM
ok i'll try this once more
without flaming-whatever that is
this piece was in my opinion poorly written
i think it lacks originality, style
it seems trite and disjointed
i think it needs a lot of work and
to me it was a bad bit of writing
Date posted: 7/6/2004 7:56:48 AM
great story. well done. can't wait for your next one.
Date posted: 7/6/2004 8:38:59 AM
Impressive!I truky enjoyed the insight of Anakin. I'll be waiting for your next story!
Date posted: 7/6/2004 10:15:52 AM
I'd just like to say thank you to my Beta readers, and to everyone who took the time to post a comment(be it praise or constructive criticism).
To answer the questions about what my inspiration for writing this story was, then Metallica's "One" did figure highly, although it wasn't the main reason for me writing it. My main inspiration is a short story by Stephen King entitled "Autopsy Room 4", from his collections novel "Everything's Eventual."
Author: Simon Cowell
Date posted: 7/7/2004 7:13:48 PM
Simon Cowell's Comments:
Flaming is not allowed.
- Herman Snerd
Date posted: 7/8/2004 1:15:52 AM
Even for a fan fic this story is pointless. Granted you had some interesting ideas but not enough of them are fleshed out. It hasnt been revealed what exactly happens to Anakin, and while its fun to make up your own mind it would have been wiser to wait until AFTER Episode III is released. We all know Anakin by the 3rd film struggles with the duality of the force, but...your ending was weak as was most of the story. Nice try though.
Date posted: 7/9/2004 1:22:48 PM
I KNOW that rambling voice! Not the anger part, mind you, but the voice of being partially coherrent. I have been under the knife myself, and that is how one thinks. Good job of capturing that feeling. Have you had any surgery?
Date posted: 7/9/2004 2:11:19 PM
very well written. I look forward to the next bit of goodies that you write.
Date posted: 7/10/2004 2:11:22 PM
I like the story and the plot, they were really good. The dialouge and the way you switched from thought to reality was impressive. Although, the fact that Anakin boasted to much about him being a war hero was a little agitating. It seemed like every other sentence i read, Anakin was saying that he couldnt have murdered, betray or done something bad to someone because he thought of himself as a war hero. Another thing that really impressed me though, was the title, and the originallity of it. Looking forward to your next piece of fan fiction.
Date posted: 7/11/2004 7:56:48 AM
Great Story! I love the way that you started the story.Great title too! I am waiting for a sequel.
Date posted: 7/11/2004 8:29:56 PM
I absolutely love your style of writing! How it was all in his perspective. It has inspired me and has given me ideas for my own story that I am currently writing. Great job, keep on doing your stuff.
May The Force Be With You,
Author: Anakins Surgery Pal
Date posted: 7/12/2004 2:53:01 PM
Anakins Surgery Pal's Comments:
This is a fantastic piece of writing. The way you transformed Anakin's feelings from insecurity, pride and then hatred with a sense of purpose was intriguing.This is the path to the dark side i feel. Personally, i thought the way you made anakin know he was 'good', in terms of talent, was great. Making him believe he was good makes the character in the OT make sense, Vader knows he has the power and will use it.
Ad i read the hatred towards Kenobi, i was reminded of such lines like "We meeet again at last..." and "Now I am the master.."
The only qualm i do have is the ending. Far too abrupt, i wanted to read on some more but didnt get the chance. The emporror could of featured a lot more, maybe some convincing was needed, 'the dark side is for you', but maybe you were leaving that for the imagination of the reader so i give you the benefit of the doubt...
Date posted: 7/24/2004 1:13:29 PM
I didn't like this story. Surely I liked this story. Did I not like this story? Was it not an entertaining story? No, I did not like this story, and no, it was not entertaining.
But why didn't I like this story? Afterall, it was about Vader...wasn't it? Was it not about Vader? And was it not about Anakin? Surely I would enjoy any story about Anakin...and I would especially enjoy any story about Vader.
But no, sadly, I did not enjoy this story...in spite of the fact it was about Anakin and in spite of the fact it was about Vader.
Okay, I'll quit the sarcasm and get right to the point: I felt as if I had to "muscle" my way through all the dialogue of Anakin Skywalker blantering to himself to get to any good parts (if any existed). He sounded like a fussy, whiny little school boy (it's not fair!) and an egotistical jerk (surely I'm a war hero...my sight has been taken from me so that I can't see all my medals and trophies).
I suggest you do a little more research into the real personality of Darth Vader before you do any more fiction on him.
Edit: There's no need for that.
Date posted: 11/27/2004 10:31:40 PM
Wow. I thought this story was awsome!!!!!! As I amsure you may have guessed from my screen name, I am a very big Anakin/Darth Vader fan. I read some of the other comments,and I have to say, I disagree that it sounds like rambleing. This story is supposed to capture Anakin's thoughts. I'm sure that if you copied down you own thoughts, they would sound much the same, (however hopefully not as dark:) I loved how this story showed that Anakin's first thought were not of evil, but of how he once was,a hero. I also loved that you said that he hates the emperor. Keep up the good work!!!!!
Author: The Writer
Date posted: 12/7/2004 7:59:50 AM
The Writer's Comments:
A fascinating story. Though somewhat disjointed, as I imagine someone under the knife would be, it was an interesting glimpse into Anakin's transitional period; no longer Anakin, but not yet Vader either. The presence of the Emperor, like a malevolent cloud on the horizon, was a chilling and effective touch, although the plot didn't flow quite as smoothly as it could have. All in all, I'd rate it at 8.5 out of 10. Well done!
Date posted: 12/16/2004 11:14:25 AM
Wonderful. This has a strength to it that is amazing
Date posted: 2/8/2005 10:58:53 PM
Date posted: 3/12/2005 2:05:14 PM
Date posted: 6/3/2005 11:11:21 PM
This was good for the most part, but a bit of it was off charactor for either Vader or Anakin, and made it a little cheesy in some places. But overall it was alright.