Date posted: 6/18/2001 1:40:09 PM
Touching story...I don't much care for how it alters the StarWars storyline, though. I enjoyed it, however.
Date posted: 6/19/2001 11:23:43 AM
this was a very emotional story. definitely different from previous attempts to capture the pace and mood of Star Wars. Very descriptive though and you used great imagery. Nice Job.
Date posted: 6/20/2001 6:15:29 PM
ohhhh... poor Obi-Wan! a good story and it almost made me cry (obi is my fave character u c...) Well written
Author: Healer Leona
Date posted: 6/23/2001 12:04:28 PM
Healer Leona's Comments:
I think this is one of the first stories I read when introduced to fanfic by my daughter. It still leaves me in tears.
A truly wonderful story and well worth reading again and again.
Author: Lau-ra Anu
Date posted: 7/10/2001 8:38:52 AM
Lau-ra Anu's Comments:
How sad! I'm so glad Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan as his Padawan now. That was a very well written story. Very good, please write another!
Author: Liz Skywalker
Date posted: 7/15/2001 3:01:29 PM
Liz Skywalker's Comments:
this has always been one of my favorites. It's as good the 10th time as the 1st time. A Grade-A fic.
Date posted: 7/16/2001 10:06:14 PM
good story, but i didn't like how u made obi-wan evil. obi-wan is my fav. characters and i don't think he would have turned to the dark side though. i didn't like how u made obiw-an die.
Date posted: 7/23/2001 4:57:00 AM
Sniff... A sad story, but a very good one, really liked the "What If"-scheme in it.
Ever since watching TPM in a movie theatre, I've been a fan of Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi-stories,
Published in paper/web...
Nice work a big 1-0 for you...
Author: Mcily Nochi
Date posted: 7/29/2001 12:04:24 PM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:
A very moving story. It was cool to see how it might have turned out if Qui-Gon had refused to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan. Very interesting premise. It really shows what's possible with fan fiction.
Date posted: 7/30/2001 12:32:52 PM
Thank God Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan! It's a really beautiful and moving story. I ended up crying! It's so intense, and the end is so heart-wrenching that it felt like a punch in my guts. Great, but sad.
Date posted: 8/2/2001 12:30:09 PM
That was a touching story! Even though Obi-Wan died, I thought it was a great story! I am in tears right now... Awwwwww! Poor Obi!
Author: Jeff 42
Date posted: 8/2/2001 2:44:59 PM
Jeff 42's Comments:
I decided to read this story after it was the first one here that someone gave an actual "review." I was not disappointed. It was very well-written and touching with genuine emotions. Excellent work.
Date posted: 8/24/2001 10:22:34 AM
The style of writing was well done, but I found the story kind of boring.
Author: KC-Wan Kenobi
Date posted: 9/7/2001 3:32:33 PM
KC-Wan Kenobi's Comments:
Coolio story... SAD... and it totally messes up the Star Wars thing... but it's cool. Kind of like a 'choose your own adventure's' bad ending. WAH! Poor Obi-Wan is dead :(
Author: Tielana Matrix
Date posted: 11/4/2001 3:08:27 PM
Tielana Matrix's Comments:
That was a great story! Even though Obi-wan die I loved it! Oui-gon you dumb-ass!
Date posted: 5/30/2002 5:45:04 PM
That was so sad! It kind of screws up the Star wars storline, but hey, its your story and it was really well written!
Date posted: 6/1/2002 11:12:12 AM
Your story had me in tears! I love how in the end Obi became Qui-Gon's padawan, but i really don't like that he died. I agree with everyone else, he is my favorite character!
Date posted: 6/26/2002 9:39:17 AM
I loved this story. I'm still crying. I'm gald this didn't reallt happen. Obi-Wan is probably my favorite charcter.
Date posted: 7/8/2002 6:35:38 PM
This was my one of my first fanfiction stories I've ever read and I nearly cried when I read it. Still as good as the first time around. I wish I could find that poem that goes along with this.
Again, great job.
Date posted: 7/13/2002 7:16:28 PM
soo sad.i didnt like the way it changed the sw storyline but still very touching
Author: Obi&Yoda Ruels!!!
Date posted: 7/15/2002 6:52:27 PM
Obi&Yoda Ruels!!!'s Comments:
Ohhhh.... that was so sad! And even so, a perfect story! Avalon you're a natural!
Date posted: 7/25/2002 2:05:06 PM
WOW !!! that was so great Avalon.the way obi-wan helps qui-gon and what he says, oh it was so sad. i was actually crying by the end of it. congrads on a story well wrote.
Date posted: 7/28/2002 5:56:30 PM
Incredible story. I've read it so many times and if anything, it gets better as it gets older.... Nearly had me in tears. Just awesome.
Date posted: 9/4/2002 4:27:07 PM
Since I adore the character of Obi-Wan I don't like you story a great deal because he dies.I really dislike stories where the main character dies.
Author: Freak Moister
Date posted: 10/9/2002 9:33:13 PM
Freak Moister's Comments:
I LOVE IT!
It's and excellent extrapolation of an alternate universe and I love your style of writing. Excellent descriptions. Nice pace and very well thought out plot. However you should have written more and gave more description of the raiders and Obi's life with them and also Obi before he was captured. You should have wrote more!
Anyway it's still an excellent short story very emotional - big success at that, and don't listen to those people who think you stuffed up, they suck. Continue writing!
And once again I LOVE IT!
Date posted: 10/14/2002 2:55:26 PM
I've read this story so many times over the course of my life in the Star Wars fandom that I've memorized it and every time it's just as good.
Date posted: 10/14/2002 5:13:19 PM
Wow. I am speachless. My friend recommended this to me and I am just in awe. This is amazing. Good job!
Author: krista-lynn Jinn
Date posted: 10/21/2002 4:27:50 PM
krista-lynn Jinn's Comments:
Oh my Gosh!! I loved this story. even though I didn't like the fact that Obi-wan died but it was very good I even cried. This was probably the best fanfic I've read so far.
Date posted: 10/26/2002 8:29:09 PM
I cried.This was a great fanfic.However, you need alesson in the usage of quotation marks.You're not supposed to use them in thoughts.A minor detail.
Date posted: 11/1/2002 12:46:24 PM
WOW.this was cool.the ending was more dramatic then the titanic sinking!Real good pace nothing at all to complain about.
Date posted: 11/6/2002 11:11:17 PM
This story is brilliant. its so sad and intense that i cried. its gotta be one of the best star wars fics i've ever read. i really really hope you'll write an au sequel to this story. i'm dying to find out what happened if obi wan survived.
Date posted: 12/11/2002 1:41:00 PM
This is one of the best SW fanfic stories that I have read - and it's just as wonderful on its tenth reading as its first. The writing style and imagery is pure poetry. The tragic end is so poignantly portrayed. Oh, for all the lost chances in life!
Date posted: 12/26/2002 7:46:58 PM
I've read this story a long time ago at some other site, but never really had a chance to comment on it until now. But I remember the time I read this so well. I was in a library, raiding the SW fan fiction sites on the Internet because I had nothing else to do, and I came upon this story. I just had to get up and walk away in the middle of the story so that nobody could see me crying.
Truly touching, and that's really saying something. Not many people can make me depressed by writing (though the opposite true with movies).
Author: Juvenille Prophet
Date posted: 12/31/2002 4:48:38 AM
Juvenille Prophet's Comments:
Well I like it, I don't care what any one else thinks: you rule! This is *better* than the real Star Wars story line (admittedly it sought of prohibits MOST of the story from actually happening... who cares? Angst, torture, Obi-wan dying, you have all the makings of a master fanfiction author!)
Date posted: 1/25/2003 4:11:17 PM
That is a sad story but it still has all the classics in one. Great Job!
Date posted: 1/27/2003 3:35:17 PM
Date posted: 1/27/2003 7:18:19 PM
amazing story!!!!!!! I luved it! I think you should become writer!i read all the seaquels(kinda) and they were awesome!!!! keep it up
Date posted: 2/3/2003 1:05:49 PM
Good stuff. I liked how they still ended up meeting again one final time. Really throws a monkey wrench in the OT though... :)
Date posted: 4/20/2003 4:40:12 PM
Very good "What if?" story ,it made me cry!
Date posted: 5/30/2003 1:02:57 AM
I was on this site and clicked on random fanfic, and your story came up. This is one of the most brilliant stories i have read... It touches you... It makes you wonder how much farther it could have gone. I would really like to see you maybe take up writing as a profession, i would definately be a fan of your novels...
Date posted: 8/18/2003 9:57:52 AM
Great story, great characterisation, beautiful writing style. A story that's truly poignant without being angsty. It's very refreshing to find something like that. Thank you. ^_^
Author: Jedi Princess2
Date posted: 3/22/2004 6:45:39 PM
Jedi Princess2's Comments:
This is a amazing story, and one of the few that I've read that had the ability to make me cry.
The first time I read this my sister walked in to see me with tears streaming down my face. She read it and although she never admits it, it made her cry ,too.
I've read it around ten times since then and it's never failed to have the same effect on me.
Your writing was beautiful, and your characterizations of Obi and Qui among the best I've ever read. Congrats on an awesome story!
Date posted: 4/23/2004 7:34:07 PM
*stares at computer screen* This story is incredible. It's realistic, emotional, and over all awesome. Rating: 9.999 out of 10 because Obi-Wan died. Obi-Wan rocks! *salutes with plastic version of Obi-Wan's Episode II light saber*
Date posted: 8/7/2004 7:40:01 PM
An excellent story about Obi Wan. A truly sad story in which the ending wasn't predictable which is good. Awesome characterization and almost Redemption. I truley felt for Obi Wan as he tried to explain himself to Qui Gon. However I would have liked to see the raiders motivations and characters explained more insted of just being there as a plot device. Other than that it's great. 8 out of 10
Date posted: 8/18/2005 6:29:35 PM
Alright...even though its been almost over a year since somebody commented, I just had to say that your story left me tearing up. I'm VERY glad it didn't happen this way...but good alterations to Jedi Apprentice!
Date posted: 3/5/2006 1:56:43 PM
Beautiful piece of writting.
I noticed it because of the title. I read it while listenning to the song.
Date posted: 9/30/2007 11:35:03 PM
Beautiful. It was well written. I am curious, however. The quotes at the beginning of the sections... Where are they from? I'm pretty sure they're in Loreena McKennitt's "Dante's Prayer"...
Date posted: 10/30/2007 2:21:23 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! OBI-WAN'S DEAD!!! ugh. that sucks. I was crying the whole time. He and Ani are my favorite characters. :( I'm glad that didn't happen. Poor Ani would've been stuck in slavery and Sidious would've found another way to take over the galaxy. :( POOR OBI-WAN! Qui-Gon must've felt soooooo bad. POOR THEM!
Date posted: 7/28/2013 10:15:42 AM
Great stuff from you, man. Ive read your stuff before and youre just too aomswee. I love what youve got here, love what youre saying and the way you say it. You make it entertaining and you still manage to keep it smart. I cant wait to read more from you. This is really a great blog.