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Reader Comments on "The Sands of Time"

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: FernWithy  (signed)
Date posted: 7/30/2001 3:50:48 PM
FernWithy's Comments:

This is a fantastic story -- a great extrapolation of the future of the Jedi order, and a neat take on Luke's legacy, as well as Obi-Wan's destiny. Good original characters in Keiran and Andiell, as well.

Author: Belle Bayard
Date posted: 7/30/2001 8:41:12 PM
Belle Bayard's Comments:

Excellent! An entirely believable future for the Jedi. Wonderful characterizations and interesting extrapolation about Luke's descendents.

Author: Arender
Date posted: 7/30/2001 10:55:36 PM
Arender's Comments:

This story was excellent!!! Jeff42 has stepped right into the Star Wars galaxy and brought us a surprisingly clear vision of the future. I cannot recommend this ass-kicking story enough. You all must read this NOW! Who is this guy and why isn't he writing Star Wars novels????

Author: Rogue2
Date posted: 7/30/2001 11:08:21 PM
Rogue2's Comments:

Wow, this is a long story. Some of the aspects of the story are a bit far-fetched.

Author: Xanthus Tralieek
Date posted: 7/31/2001 5:42:23 AM
Xanthus Tralieek's Comments:

This story is excellent. It is a damn shame that the newer version of the Jedi do not seem to read or study about the old days of the Jedi. But if you do not read your history, you are doomed to repeat it.

Author: Kimpatsu
Date posted: 7/31/2001 11:46:59 PM
Kimpatsu's Comments:

What a difference beta-ing makes. This story was a sheer joy to read; no spelling errors, no punctuation errors... Just the one typo, but I'll forgive you.
Good pacing; The story was long enough that I actually spread out reading it over two days. The author is definitely professional material (are you sure he isn't a professional writer?) and should be writing Star Wars novels for real. George Lucas take note.
Nice use of official SW background, with interaction of characters past and present (sic) with the future of Jeff42's own creation. So... When are you going to write another one?

Author: Lou
Date posted: 8/1/2001 2:27:28 PM
Lou's Comments:

What can I say? - Wow. I loved that, different from the usual stories, an interesting and good idea. I like the idea of Obi-Wan in another time and seeing what happens to the Skywalkers. A nice change. Well done, to the authors and the cover artist.

Author: SunBurN
Date posted: 8/1/2001 5:13:58 PM
SunBurN's Comments:

This was a great read! I started it at 10:45am and finished it at 2:30pm! I couldn't take my eyes away from the screen due the gripping intenseness of this story! It was very well written in all aspects and I recommend this story highly to anyone..Star Wars fan or not!

Author: Dan Ortiz
Date posted: 8/2/2001 1:48:09 AM
Dan Ortiz's Comments:

Such a dissapointment,

The original concept was wonderful, striking, and bold. The first few chapters were engaging and very interesting reading, however, it was all downhill after that. The story became duller every few chapters, and the end duel was sickening. The final lightsabre duel was a sheer dissapointment, and horribly done. Instead of having a real sabre fight, we have a disspointment where the good guys win all cheery and happy. First of, the location was horrid, a deep underground temple is no place for a lightsabre duel. Second, you specifically stated emphasized how strong Obi-Wan was, yet you in no way represented it with his pitiful fight at the end, he should at least have been his equal, not having a bunch of apprentices save the day, typical kiddy plot. Third, the other characters seemed like they were just havin a good time. Four Jedi and 3 Sith wentinto battle daughter of Skywalker should of lived. If only if I had gotten control over this story after the first few chapters, it could have been so much more.


Author: Dan Ortiz
Date posted: 8/2/2001 1:49:57 AM
Dan Ortiz's Comments:

I meant that only Obi-Wan and the Daughter of Skywalker should of lived.

Author: Dan Ortiz
Date posted: 8/2/2001 1:50:06 AM
Dan Ortiz's Comments:

I meant that only Obi-Wan and the Daughter of Skywalker should of survived the duel.

Author: Kenobi Maul
Date posted: 8/2/2001 4:40:50 AM
Kenobi Maul's Comments:

Before we start, I would like to comment that writing guru Dan should note that one should say "should have," not "should of."

I disagree with Dan categorically with his interpretation of the end. Since the Jedi are searching out the Sith, it is logical that the latter would choose the location of the final duel. Would it be "right" for them to choose anything but their strongest fortress of the Dark Side and that that would be a dark, murky underground temple? In such a place, wouldn't the Lord of the Sith have the upper hand against his equal or one that is slightly his better?

You say that Keiran should have died, and yet many comparisons are made between him and the Chosen One. He seems to be a Jedi of great, if uncontrolled power. Maybe it is a dislike of happy endings that motivates you, but bear in mind that Star Wars itself has a rather a "typical kiddy plot" in that the young farm boy rises up out of the dusty plains of Tatooine to save the galaxy. I don't think that the apprentices saving the day at the end is that implausible: it sends across the message that no one person, no matter how powerful cannot succeed on his own.

I think this is a very well written, captivating story, with interesting characters and a powerful message at the end. I find it entirely worthy of the Galaxy far, far away...

Author: KenobisGirl
Date posted: 8/2/2001 11:12:25 AM
KenobisGirl's Comments:

I loiked this story a lot. I'm glad someone finally brought Obi-Wan back fromt he dead. Your ideas were very original and I thoroughly enjoyed this excellent story! Thank you for bringing Obi back into the galaxy!

Author: Darth Hoss
Date posted: 8/2/2001 1:15:02 PM
Darth Hoss's Comments:

This is a fantastic story, worthy of the name Star Wars. It took me three days to read it, but I was rivited. Very good character development, and in my opinion, this should be a novel.

Author: Dan Ortiz
Date posted: 8/2/2001 2:30:29 PM
Dan Ortiz's Comments:

I still must heartily disagree,

When one writes a story such as this where it ends in a massive jedi sith conflict, then the best way to review it is to look at is as if it were supposed to be a movie. I still stand that the location was horrid, think about it, would you want Lucas to put the duel that decided the fate of the galaxy in some deep murky swamp? NO!! Such a duel should of taken someplace far more open, not murky and enclosed, the audience would of hated that. Oh yeah, and about skywalker's boyfriend, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER CHOSEN ONE!! If we already have another skywalker then thats all we need, seriously, if george sent 4 jedi and 3 sith into a battle and all the jedi lived for a spectacular final battle EVERYONE would be disspointed, to bad this story was killed so badly.

Author: Réka
Date posted: 8/2/2001 2:42:31 PM
Réka's Comments:

Oh, my! I read the beginnings of this story when Old Juan started writing it in the forum... I am incredibly happy to see it finished and archived for everyone to see.

My one complaint would be that the later chapters are rather full of (boring, to me) fights, and seem to drag on. I'm not sure how things could be simplified--perhaps consolidate a few characters, or cut a few of the practice fights?--but I think shortening the latter half would improve the story.

And as others have remarked, the lack of stupid spelling mistakes is a refreshing and welcome change. :)

Author: Kenobi Maul  (signed)
Date posted: 8/3/2001 4:41:30 AM
Kenobi Maul's Comments:

If I remember correctly, one of the most important moments in the Star Wars saga, in fact one of the turning points in Luke's training, was in a small, dark, murky cave strong with the Dark Side, during his lightsaber duel with himself. I don't seem to remember much complaints about the Empire Strikes Back, though...

Also, I did not say that he was a Chosen One. Indeed, another of those would do nothing but weaken Anakin Skywalker's significance and that of the entire sextet. I only said that he was *similar* to the Chosen One in that he was powerful and that an important part of his character development involved his overcoming of dark impulses. It is his rejection of these validated by his defeat of the Sith that sets the true theme: the overcoming of one's weeknesses. I agree that it would have been more melodramatic, if that is what you enjoy. I believe that a happy ending where all the main "good guys" win is much more in keeping with Star Wars than what you propose, but that is just a personal opinion.

Author: FernWithy  (signed)
Date posted: 8/3/2001 7:41:21 AM
FernWithy's Comments:

This is a great discussion, and I love to see it. I'm not sure the comments section is the most effective place for it; why not start a thread in the forums at

Author: thrawn's lackey
Date posted: 8/5/2001 1:45:09 AM
thrawn's lackey's Comments:

I have to say that this was the best fan fiction
that I have read yet. It was a little slow but it
kept me moving to finish it. I couldnt't pull myself
away from it. I did enjoy the way jeff42 was able to
link the past with the future of the star wars
universe. I also enjoyed the scene when Obi-wan
shares his memories with Varian. I hope George
takes note of Anakin's comment to Obi-wan as he
hangs from the edge over the lava.
All in all, very well done!!!

Author: LittleJedi
Date posted: 8/6/2001 11:10:44 PM
LittleJedi's Comments:

well, i don't care about anyone else - i loved this fan fic. mind you, i'm probably biased because i love Obi-Wan and therefore i like any story with him as a main character so yeah... :) heh heh. Nah, this was a great story - well written and all that. The only problem i had was the space battle thingos but that's just because i'm not very good at picturing them so they are just words to me - but that's my problem. Anyway, congrats to Jeff, keep up the good work!

Author: DaftShadow
Date posted: 8/8/2001 1:56:23 PM
DaftShadow's Comments:

I've read lots of sw literature over the last year, and I must say that there have been only three stories that truly glued my eyes to the screen. Yours is the third. Thank you for that joyous piece of work. In fact, I was so into it that my creative juices have already begun to stir towards a forey into your wonderfully defined future galaxy (haven't written in almost a year!). Have a good day, and if you are working on another story in this time period, I would be honoured to have a chance at reading thru it.

- DaftShadow

Author: Jarvitan
Date posted: 8/10/2001 4:42:14 PM
Jarvitan's Comments:

Wow. I'm impressed. Space battles are usually incredibly boring to me, but the ones in this story had me rivited! The ending with all the Jedi spirits made me cry. :) Great read! (Though, as a big droid fan, I wonder what happened to Threepio and Artoo in the end? ;))

Author: Mcily Nochi
Date posted: 8/19/2001 10:21:13 PM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

Wow. That was an amazing story. I, for one, have often speculated on the future of SW, and have my own little theories and stories about it. That was great. It alternately pulled me to the edge of my seat in suspense and made me sit back and shed a happy tear.
Thank you for sharing this fan fiction with us!

Author: Quiller  (signed)
Date posted: 9/7/2001 5:55:05 PM
Quiller's Comments:

TF.N needs a category for novels. Wow.
Though it took me a long time to get through it, the story was definitely worth the effort. Solid character development and a good plot carried my interest to the very end. Jeff, you handled the various plot lines and subplots deftly.
Simply great.

Author: Captain Yossarian
Date posted: 9/13/2001 11:58:21 AM
Captain Yossarian's Comments:

This was by far the best SW fanfic I've ever read. THis goes for a 9 out of 10, I can tell you.

However, two things I must complain upon: I never enjoyed the SW way of showing three different battle scenes at once. It happens through every movie, and it bores the hell out of me. I sit there, watching a juicy lightsaber duel, then suddenly the place is filled with starfighters.

The Second thing is that no one would sneak off like that to battle the Sith. Especially not after just one or three lessons in combat.

Otherwise this story was Waaay beyond my expectations (god, every time the Jedi would dis Obi wan's ways, I would like... GAAH!!)

The lack of typos is something that I cannot describe. Typos have become such an annoying presence in our society these days..

And as for Don... Get stuffed.

Author: Master Chiz
Date posted: 9/17/2001 7:51:16 AM
Master Chiz's Comments:

I loved this story set in the distant future of the SW universe. I thought it was great Jeff42 you can write and your story kicks ass. Thank you for giving us all something worth reading within the Fanfiction.

Author: Sith Bane
Date posted: 1/8/2002 8:25:34 AM
Sith Bane's Comments:

this fanfic was great in every way, the reborn of Obi wan, the return of the sith. This was a cool tale about bravery and the never ending battle betwen good and evil.
Congratulations to the creative team

Author: JoinMe
Date posted: 1/18/2002 8:17:15 AM
JoinMe's Comments:

After reading three superb fanfic stories, "Dark Emperor," "Of Burdens and Choices" and now "The Sands of Time", this story has finally compelled me enough to post a comment. This was simply an AMAZING piece of work and my favorite story so far. The story was just so interesting throughout. I disagree with some of the posters here...the story did feel a bit slow at times, but to me, that was a good thing - it built anticipation for the climax, which was remarkably well done. The final battle had me completely enthralled. It was just incredible, and it felt SO completely Star Wars-like.

Are you sure this isn't a movie draft? Although I was reading it, it sure felt like I was watching a movie - and a damn good one at that. I loved Obi-Wan in the lead role, and the new characters like Andiell and Kieran were very well written. I also loved the character of Judu Kah, and the conflict between the new Jedi and Obi-Wan was well done.

I must admit though that sometimes it felt a bit overdone. I mean, how could the Jedi not want to follow Obi-Wan completely, knowing that he was brought back to life by the Force to lead them? Their overwhelming initial mistrust of him and his beliefs struck me as a bit much, though it did make for great reading.

Overall, simply a wonderful piece of fiction and required reading for any Star Wars fiction lover.

Author: Stacy-wan Kenobi
Date posted: 1/28/2002 5:54:58 PM
Stacy-wan Kenobi's Comments:

This was the most magnificent Star Wars fanfic, if not novel, ever. Who ever the writer is should be writing the Star Wars novels for Lucasfilm Ltd.That would be a great plot idea for a future Star Wars trilogy. I give it a perfect 10. The Sands of time kept me up untill 3 A.M. 2 nights during the school week, because it was so enticing to read. This is a required read for any Star Wars fan.

Author: ukcheese
Date posted: 2/3/2002 4:11:15 PM
ukcheese's Comments:

i must say first off that i've never liked the idea of jedi being recreated, kinda seems to make their deaths seem pointless...

but this was incredibly well done, it didnt demean obi-wan's death at all.

i agree with the earlier comment about the story being well paced, action scenes hurtled along really well.

Overall, superb, its stopped me doin my hwk for 5 hours, but it was worth it

Author: CalaisKenobi
Date posted: 4/9/2002 11:39:33 AM
CalaisKenobi's Comments:

I am very impressed by your version of a future Jedi Order. It is not only a realistic extrapolation of where the Order could go in the future, but also seems to be in line with what happens to "superpowers" when the great wars have ended (AKA End of the Cold War). I also heartily agree that the ending was well done, and that it is not neccessary to kill off characters just to create a good final scene. I am also pleased with the return of Obi-Wan as a less cocky young man, still learning the lessons of his past. Thanks for a great read.

Author: folorjh
Date posted: 4/11/2002 3:56:53 PM
folorjh's Comments:

At first, I thought: "Uh oh. Time travel. Someone's takin a page from Star Trek..." but the premise turned out not only plausible, but enjoyable. In response to Dan's objections to the end, I somewhat agree to the casualty list. Tho I do believe Obi-Wan should have died when his task was complete. I expected rather, that the Sith Lord would have killed him, and the Skywalker decendent kill the Lord, fulfilling her destiny as a Jedi.
I do like the dark murky place, in fact I think its a really neat idea, and I may just reference it in an RPG campaign I'm GMing.
And as for the "childish ending..." If you want adult-only stories, go rent a porno. STAR WARS isn't meant to be a complex dissertation on humanity. Instead its a simplification of good and evil. Just look at when it came out. The 70s were a decade where ppl were weary of endless conflict, be it military or political. Clear cut lines of good and evil are a staple of STAR WARS. And while I like a good tragedy, or even failure by the good guys (ie ESB), it would have been disappointing here.
I think there were a bit too many characters, as the battle aboard the space station was unnecessary. Its only point was to kill of that Jedi Master. This could have been done with another few Dark Siders in the crypt.
I didn't think any of the battles, save that one, were slow. But there was a lot of time put on training, and things could have moved faster.
This story entertained me for many hours, only broken up by a math class =(. I liked it, and would enjoy reading more from this author.

Author: menace214
Date posted: 5/14/2002 8:01:29 PM
menace214's Comments:

Sands was a truely awesome and well written piece of work....It was very visually written and I often found myself lost in the action feeling as if I were right there with the Jedi...(I like that in a story or book I read)...

The Characters were awesome and meshed well with one another...Sands would definitely make and awesome movie....

Author: Eridias
Date posted: 5/21/2002 7:05:20 PM
Eridias's Comments:

This is the first fanfic that i have read on I found that it was exceptionally well written. The pace of the story felt perfect for a star wars episode.
The only problem I had was the fact that it seemed as if a ton of Jedi were able to communicate with Obi-Wan. It seemed out of place sense only Obi-Wan was the only one to talk to Luke, sure there was a group thing at the end of Jedi but no one actually talked. Other than that I thought it was not only a fun action-adventure story, but it looked deeper into Jedi philosophy and the whole topic on fighting in defense or just murder.

Overall I would have to say that it was well written and should be considered an option for a Star Wars novel at sometime down the road.

Author: JedibountyVI
Date posted: 6/7/2002 10:51:59 PM
JedibountyVI's Comments:

I happened upon this story while waiting for the website intro to load up. I got so into the story that when the mellow, soothing Star Wars music started up I didn't even notice. I had in fact been hearing the same music already in my head, though that music was from the narrative, not from my speakers. Great work...

Author: Sparky
Date posted: 6/18/2002 7:15:14 AM
Sparky's Comments:

Awesome story. I started finished this at 2am because I didn't want to wait unitl the next day to find out what happens. You have a real talent and hopefully people with influence read these to find future authors.

The whole plot was good but one thing that was exceptional was your take on what the Jedi fot he future would be like. Plus how Obi-Wan is reborn.

Author: Y-Wing Ace  (signed)
Date posted: 6/18/2002 3:54:43 PM
Y-Wing Ace's Comments:

Fantastic story. Nice references to and appearances by canon and EU characters (Darth Bane, R2 & 3P0, etc.) I just have one complaint. I can believe the Force would resurrect Obi-Wan, but his lightsaber and robes? (Although I realize somebody needed a saber to defeat the Sith Lady and a Jedi probably shouldn't be running around in the nude.)

Author: Jade Skywalker
Date posted: 6/19/2002 7:11:46 PM
Jade Skywalker's Comments:

I have always ignored fanfics, thinking that they were a waste of time to read. But as I was scrolling down the news letter, saw Obi-Wan's name pop up. Since he is my favorite charater, I just had to read it. And this one did not dissapoint me.
I loved how the past and future lives of the Jedi were intertwined and it was a very interesting story. I couldn't keep my eyes off it until I was done! That usually doesn't happen with me. But this story was excellent and I would love to read many more like it!

Author: Jedi_Kara  (signed)
Date posted: 6/26/2002 8:47:14 AM
Jedi_Kara's Comments:

This is so cool. It's one of my favorite ones I've read. But I don't think the Jedi would stop fighting with lightsabers but if this happened the way it was solved is guite believacly. Very good story!!

Author: AnakinKenobi  (signed)
Date posted: 7/11/2002 4:10:50 AM
AnakinKenobi's Comments:

Great Job!

First of all, your grammar and spelling were perfect. Great betas!

Second, the lightsaber fights were well choreographed and detailed.
Third, each and every character was well developed and i loved how the kids eventually saved the day.

All in all, a first class fic.

Author: Clawcraft killa
Date posted: 7/12/2002 9:58:01 AM
Clawcraft killa's Comments:

Best. Story. Ever. great work, this would make an awesome movie!!!!

Author: Joanna Xux
Date posted: 7/12/2002 9:58:45 PM
Joanna Xux's Comments:

Of all the SW novels I have read Stackpole is my fav. Zahn comes second, Jeff42 is just a tad bit above Zahn.

Author: yoda4982
Date posted: 7/15/2002 5:39:51 AM
yoda4982's Comments:

Great Story, i could not stop reading it. I can see that you took great effort to make the story star wars accurate as well as well great. George would be proud i think to allow the Star Wars title on this story. The Entire time i read this i could picutre Obi-Wan going through the trials of teaching these New Jedi, great story.

Author: Obi&Yoda Ruels!!!
Date posted: 7/21/2002 5:44:34 PM
Obi&Yoda Ruels!!!'s Comments:

Wow! This story was amazing!!! The last battle (Obi Wan, Andeiil and Keiran vs. Darth Spectre) was PERFECT!!:) All the battles descriptions were so real! (While the starships battles were terribely boaring), but anyway GreaT StorY!!! (Long story!!!)(really long comment...Oops!!:))

Author: Yoda-Wan
Date posted: 7/21/2002 7:31:48 PM
Yoda-Wan's Comments:

Great Job! YOu have the writing skills of Zhan with the action sequences of Stackppole! And what I liked most was, we all knew what was going to happen, but it was fulfilled in an unexpected way! Once again great job, and I'd give it a 25 if could

Author: Yoda-Wan
Date posted: 7/21/2002 7:31:49 PM
Yoda-Wan's Comments:

Great Job! YOu have the writing skills of Zhan with the action sequences of Stackppole! And what I liked most was, we all knew what was going to happen, but it was fulfilled in an unexpected way! Once again great job, and I'd give it a 25 if could

Author: Sketkh
Date posted: 7/26/2002 2:31:12 PM
Sketkh's Comments:

This story is by far! the best Star wars Fan fiction work that I liked the Best. The Characters were well written the action was paced well and all the aspects of Star wars were expressed to the greatest possible stature. This story has inspired me to write my own Future possibilty Star Wars fiction, Thank You Jeff Keep it coming!

Author: vader-incarnate  (signed)
Date posted: 8/2/2002 12:42:33 AM
vader-incarnate's Comments:

YAHOO!! I loved that! Maybe it seems weird, but I think its a little sad that the Jedi of that time have forgotten about their predecessors, with the exception of Luke, whose story was probably twisted anyhow. All those other Jedi that fought and died and were never remembered. *sniffs* oh well.

Author: JediMaster41589
Date posted: 8/4/2002 9:40:33 AM
JediMaster41589's Comments:

Wow! Awesome story. I would like to point out that in my opinion, when u said that someone's heart stopped literally, it sorta didn;t sound "right" other than that, it was the best fanfic i have ever read. Keep on righting

Author: Lady Padme  (signed)
Date posted: 8/4/2002 12:36:45 PM
Lady Padme's Comments:

Excellent fanfic - I printed this story out to read and it really kept me enthralled for 2 days - I even missed my subway stop. Keir and Andiell are wonderful additions to the Star Wars character family. I really enjoyed it.

Author: JediMaster41589
Date posted: 8/4/2002 3:58:57 PM
JediMaster41589's Comments:

I just wanted to add that this story rates far above most star wars novels

Author: Yoda777
Date posted: 8/4/2002 4:13:28 PM
Yoda777's Comments:

Don, u ain't a tru star wars fan.

Date posted: 8/9/2002 3:14:35 PM
MACW|EWINDU20's Comments:

One of the best fan fictions I have ever read. It took me a day to read this, but it was worth it The plot was well thought out and very creative, the characters original, and the battle scenes were awesome. I would recommend it to any Star Wars fan.

Author: Kai Shenn
Date posted: 8/10/2002 12:38:53 AM
Kai Shenn's Comments:

I Don't normally make comments on other peoples stories, but I felt I had to comment on this one. This has got to be one of the BEST fan fics I've ever had the pleasure of reading! Good work, and keep them coming.

Author: Force Master
Date posted: 8/24/2002 3:17:02 AM
Force Master's Comments:

hey! this was a great story! i liked how you kept all the many characters in character and kept the storyline together (that makes sense) and moving! great job! it took me like 4 days to read it but i couldnt stay away! lol and i know im gonna be sorry in the morning when i get up for work! but it was worth staying up till 6:30 am!

Author: Myn Donos
Date posted: 8/25/2002 8:48:23 PM
Myn Donos's Comments:

I like the idea that Tatooine is the center of the Force, and Coruscant is the center of the darkside, it makes for a good negative/positive balance. Plus, it explains the reason that Tatooine seems to be right smack in the middle of every single Galactic event in the history of the universe ;)

I have to say that I've been getting addicted to Fanfiction over the last few days, its a great way to spend time while waiting for the next canon novels to come out!

Thanks for an amazing story about one of my favorite characters, I'll be sure to check out some of your other reads.


Author: Ed Monk
Date posted: 8/28/2002 9:08:42 AM
Ed Monk's Comments:

Awesome story, lots of fighting and action.

Author: Slayer Mara
Date posted: 9/4/2002 4:04:36 AM
Slayer Mara's Comments:

I think you should write more romance fanfiction about Obi-wan.

Author: Jedi-Falker
Date posted: 9/30/2002 7:48:52 PM
Jedi-Falker's Comments:

Dude, awesome fanfic. I totally loved it. I read it over a 4 day span. It was a bit lengthy and dwelled on some stuff that didn't (in my humble opinion) need to be. But over all, awesome characters and a great job.

Author: MysticWarrior
Date posted: 10/15/2002 7:32:00 PM
MysticWarrior's Comments:

Incredible story. Everything makes sense, i like the take on the future as well as the distorted philosophy of the current Jedi order. all and all great story

Author: Elrana Farflung
Date posted: 10/23/2002 7:09:24 AM
Elrana Farflung's Comments:

Outstanding work! Lengthy, but that didn't detract from the enjoyment. This fan-fic isn't perfect - it's long, as I mentioned beforehand, the battle scenes were drawn out and the chopping and changing between scenes made following them difficult - but I thought that the minor flaws only served to accent the good aspects of the work. Quite simply, this an excellent story, well-told, well-crafted and with a bold, original concept. The best parts? The characterisation, in which the length becomes a strength; we actually become involved with the characters and begin to care about them, and the vast majority are likeable, courageous, and entertaining. And it was fanatastic to see Obi-Wan stepping out from the Skywalker shadow and leading the new Jedi into battle. Please, please keep writing!!!

Author: Charlie DiBlasi
Date posted: 10/31/2002 3:17:22 PM
Charlie DiBlasi's Comments:


Author: Ben-Skywalker
Date posted: 11/2/2002 2:02:10 AM
Ben-Skywalker's Comments:

This story was great! I read it and said to myself 'WOW'. This fic had everything that makes a story good, all the genres to really bring characters alive. And the lightsaber battles were well done, in my opinion lightsaber battles are the hardest to write.

Author: Jedi Dax Jentor
Date posted: 11/11/2002 3:29:03 PM
Jedi Dax Jentor's Comments:

Wow! An amazingly, well written story. The actual story line is fantastic and takes Star Wars into a new Future. The characters and character interaction is very realistic. I would love to read others like it.

Author: ReturnoftheWhill  (signed)
Date posted: 11/19/2002 8:53:55 AM
ReturnoftheWhill's Comments:

I think the thought of Skywalker as a legend gives this story a Redwall flavor... almost a feeling of nostalgia to Obi-wan... well done. Well done, indeed.

Author: Kenad
Date posted: 12/11/2002 1:23:03 PM
Kenad's Comments:

Good Stuff :¬)

Author: MAD, DLotS
Date posted: 12/14/2002 5:47:08 PM
MAD, DLotS's Comments:

I think that this is one of the best stories on the site, and also one of, if not the longest. I didn't feel like reading it online, so I saved it as a Word document, and it was upwards of 100 pages- I don't remember exactly, and I don't have it anymore. Although some aspects of the story are far-fetched, most of it is reasonably believable. I think that my biggest problem with it was that Obi-Wan reincarnated in an instant, as a young man, in the middle of tbe desert. As far as the SW Universe goes, I do not doubt the abilities of the force, but why did he re-incarnate without any other influence at that age and not as a baby or an old man? Also, why haven't more powerful Jedi re-incarnated in a similar manner, such as Yoda and Mace Windu, or even Luke or Anakin/Vader? Additionally, I personally do not think that the Jedi would give up lightsaber combat, even if it were reduced to a mere ritual. Th lightsaber is like an extension of the jedi his/herself, and requires that famous Jedi discipline, and is also sort of a rite-of-passage for aspiring knights. Obi-Wan once described the Jedi as the guardians of the galaxy for a thousand generations or something, and Mace Windu in Episode II states that the Jedi are, and presumably have been the keepers of peace in the galaxy. Recall that there had not been war before the prequel era for centuries, possibly millenia, due in part to the Jedi in this role. Still, this was an excellent story and despite my doubts, I gave it a 10. If you haven't read it, or have read part and then realized how long it is, I urge you to take the time and read it. Oh, and bout the length- This could be a book- it is more than long enough.

Author: KypDurronJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 12/31/2002 2:39:17 PM
KypDurronJedi's Comments:

Great Job! The plot really makes sense and is well constructed. I wish more stories like these in the far future could be written, even if it did not consist of any of the characters fro the movies and/or novels.

Keep up the good writing!

Author: Krapitino
Date posted: 1/1/2003 5:33:44 PM
Krapitino's Comments:

This is really good. Has the author considered a fanfilm adaptation?

Author: Neosakid
Date posted: 1/16/2003 6:12:24 PM
Neosakid's Comments:

Finally, someone actually made Tatooine more colorful, now instead of just brownish tan, it has some green!

With that said, I have been a fan of starwars since I first saw Return of the Jedi when i was 5 years old! And I have to say, reading countless numbers of Star Wars books, Jeff has a great future writing novels for Star Wars or any genre for that matter, and damnit, I'm glad to see Obi Wan kickin some butt again!

Author: Nemesis
Date posted: 2/19/2003 3:35:16 AM
Nemesis's Comments:

All I can say is ... wow! Easily the longest fanfic I've read (took me three days to read, on and off) but hey, who cares? This was AMAZING! Especially the final lightsaber duel - great set piece - kept me glued to the screen right till the very end. I gave this a 10, and boy, does it deserve it!

Author: Valiowk  (signed)
Date posted: 4/12/2003 7:29:53 AM
Valiowk's Comments:

Ever since the time I saw the beginning of this story, I was inexplicably drawn to it. Many times, I forgot about it, only to be drawn back to continue reading from where I had stopped, when it was still in the process of being shaped.

And now, I have read the completed version. It's been such a long time, but it's the fulfilment of so much.

Thank you.

Author: slipknot1589  (signed)
Date posted: 4/12/2003 8:07:26 PM
slipknot1589's Comments:

Great story. One of my favorite Star Wars stories. This story was the first fanfic I read and it got me into reading other fanfics. It would make a great novel and movie.

Author: Rogue Leader
Date posted: 4/13/2003 12:07:51 PM
Rogue Leader's Comments:

Great story. The only thing that I didn't like is that you didn't have the technology of the galaxy change that much in 500 years. You'd think that 500 years would make a big difference.

Author: the Phantom Author  (signed)
Date posted: 5/23/2003 6:16:01 PM
the Phantom Author's Comments:

Good. One question, though. How can he forget how to breath(which is valuntary), yet remember how to walk?

Author: the Phantom Author  (signed)
Date posted: 5/23/2003 6:20:51 PM
the Phantom Author's Comments:

I meant involuntary* Sorry, my mistake. But still. How?

Author: Jedi Ck  (signed)
Date posted: 6/4/2003 10:56:03 AM
Jedi Ck's Comments:

This was a very good story overall. There were some parts that could have been explained better, but many writers do the same thing.

Author: Senator Leia  (signed)
Date posted: 6/15/2003 8:26:47 PM
Senator Leia's Comments:

Great story it was the longest i've read but that is still ok. I think this one would make an excillant movie. Once again great job.

Author: Elwen
Date posted: 6/20/2003 6:34:32 PM
Elwen's Comments:

This is so good! It took me forever to read, with 'rents and my restriction to the comp, but it was well worth it!

Author: MysticWarrior
Date posted: 6/23/2003 6:58:27 PM
MysticWarrior's Comments:

i would like to make a comment regarding the review of one dan ortiz. like most people who are not with the star wars universe (i.e. the critics and trekies) u over analize the minute details of the plot rather than take it for what it is and examine the overall story being told. Star Wars in general has a bit of a kiddy plot so that isn't a valid argument. To the author i can only say this, amazing story, well written and very entertaining

Author: SkywalkerWoodard  (signed)
Date posted: 6/24/2003 9:47:29 PM
SkywalkerWoodard's Comments:

Wow! Great story. Interesting perspective, good plot line, and great original characters. Keep writing like this and your stories will be published in no time.

Author: Immortal Fury
Date posted: 7/7/2003 8:43:19 PM
Immortal Fury's Comments:

The only gotcha I wondered about was why did Obi-Wan have his robes and a lightsaber and what-not? I would assume that if he were "reincarnated" by the Force, inanimate objects such as these would not be created also. It could've been neat if he had to steal a lightsaber from the first Sith he fights (or maybe from a museum, who knows?). Anyways amazing story!

Author: Chewi333
Date posted: 7/8/2003 8:10:57 AM
Chewi333's Comments:

Great story.Good characters,great plot and storyline and really well described.One wayto make it better is to update about when the Yuuzhan Vong attacked in NJO,and make everything tie into to NJO.If you did that it could easily become a novel.Job well done.Best fanfic I've ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: Nol Tel Sete
Date posted: 7/10/2003 3:34:00 PM
Nol Tel Sete's Comments:

I loved it I took me the better part of a work week to read it but I thought it was well written and I fell right in to the story. It keep me intrested all the way threw the story line. I hope to read more of this authors stories. For he/she has a great talent for star wars Stories I would hope that he/she would write on a profesional level.

Nol Tel Sete
May the Force Be With You Always
The Price Of Freedom Is Eternal Vigilance

Author: ThorrX
Date posted: 7/11/2003 4:17:51 AM
ThorrX's Comments:

good story, but a bit of it was off

a few glitches, at it were, in the plot...

a few i remember off the top of my head are:

lightsabers take a Jedi one month to construct, and in deep meditation. The way they are constructed are much different from the way discribed here, but thats according to the Expanded Universe, i guess you dont have to go by that, but it is considered canon

then there was the thing with the sith... if the master sith had control over the peoples minds at the end, they they would not have run from the battle with the 3 Jedi stuck at the dark base after only viewing a few of their own killed...

third, the Jedi would NEVER give up their lightsabers even if there was peace. Especially not after only 500 years, being that history from 500 years ago is easily and clearly remembered, that would definately go for the Jedi, who were very good historians (remember the libraries and houses of books? also the holocrons). Also there is the fact that lightsabers were used for meditation purposes even before the great Sith War...

There were a few other things, but this post has served its purpose... a well written story for the most part, but it could be much better if the writer was an advid SW fan and had a better understanding of the SW Universe... (helpful hint: read everything you can about everything you can that is found on Great info about the past, the present, and that would definitely help with writing about the future...

Author: General_Kenobi
Date posted: 7/24/2003 2:02:48 PM
General_Kenobi's Comments:

Get this book published this is the 2nd best book ever that was awosome

Author: General_Kenobi
Date posted: 7/24/2003 2:07:29 PM
General_Kenobi's Comments:

I have to agree with dan tho the aurther should have sowed obi wans power in that last duel tha was pitiful

Author: Protagonists
Date posted: 8/5/2003 4:57:36 AM
Protagonists's Comments:

Well done!!!!!!!
Fantastic read!!!!!

Author: solaris82  (signed)
Date posted: 8/6/2003 10:41:20 PM
solaris82's Comments:

I've never spent that much time reading something online. I hate long online reads...but I couldn't tear my eyes away from this one. Excellent story Jeff...the force is truly with you :-D

Author: Ivan Machado
Date posted: 8/13/2003 11:25:10 AM
Ivan Machado's Comments:

This was a great story and really grabbed my attention. Once you accept the premise of a peaceful jedi order who abhors violence you can enjoy the story. My only negative comments are these. Obi wans overtly violent reaction to the being at mos eisly was uncharacteristic of him. Granted he previously cut an arm off in a new hope but he was threatened with a blaster. Breaking someones arms for touching you is overkill.
Shock was displayed from all modern jedi who saw the hologram of skywalker with a lightsaber on his belt. But the mural in the jedi temple had him holding a saber. If we are to believe that the modern jedi have so misinterpreted teachings of the old order the mural would have had luke in a much more peacable pose. Just like modern depictions of ancient leaders are stylized.

Other than that it was an excellent read.

Author: SoKiGnAnO
Date posted: 8/25/2003 8:48:27 PM
SoKiGnAnO's Comments:

Well done FernWithy, It was amazingly done. Loved all the characters. I can't beleve the droids were still around, that was cool too. Way to go.

Thank you and God bless.

Author: Kyrn Belail  (signed)
Date posted: 12/9/2003 9:25:21 PM
Kyrn Belail's Comments:

To the authoer, nicely done. This is the best fan-fiction I've ever read about the Starwars universe. I've been involved as a reader and writer of Starwars and Bladerunner fanfiction for years.

This was the first story I tried out when I found this archive. I read it a little and then turned it off and went to bed. I wasn't in a very starwars place at the time. When I came back to it with a more Jedi centered mood I gave it a second chance and read it all in one sitting which ended at 4:25 this morning.

The pacing in this story reminded me of the parts in the "established" novels where the plans were put in motion and alot of action began happening all at once. The only thing is, the author maintained the pacing through the entire peice.

Even though the training scenes seemed to drag just a little, they too were taut prose with the undercurrents of what was going on behind it all keeping the tension dialed up.

Also, the author did an exceptional job making you care about the charachters. There was one moment fairly early on when the Bothan student became one of my favorites and I said to myself "I hope he makes it to the end alive."

The author did a great job of making you feel what the charachters were feeling. Their frustration, anxiety, despair and flickers of joy all came across clearly with every word.

This story never dissapointed me, and did a great job evoking the Starwars feel. In short, this story WORKED. Again, to the author...incredible work.

Author: Tifalee
Date posted: 1/29/2004 4:38:03 PM
Tifalee's Comments:

I had my doubts about this story when I began reading, because I don't usually like plots that consist of "so-and-so comes back to life", but I was drawn in by the fast-paced plot that seems to characterize so much of Star Wars. All of the original characters were well-developed. Excellent story!

Author: MJSLSBS  (signed)
Date posted: 3/16/2004 9:39:15 PM
MJSLSBS's Comments:


Author: kehleyr
Date posted: 5/7/2004 4:27:58 AM
kehleyr's Comments:

"I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, and would be happy to be of service."

"Only six million?" said Keiran. "You must be pretty old."


I think the story would have been worth reading only for these two lines :)

Cheers and enjoy. Jeff please write more.

Author: tvillegator
Date posted: 6/24/2004 11:10:48 AM
tvillegator's Comments:

awesome i mean with the smuggler guy like solo and the jedi of course the black saber rocked please write a sequel

Author: son of luke
Date posted: 6/24/2004 11:32:30 AM
son of luke's Comments:

i read this story. OVer alla it had a good plot and all. But if you learned from the movies when anakin killed darth sidious he brought balance back to the force. So if u know your star wars this meens the sith will never come again there will be dark jedi but never another sith master.

Author: Darth Wells
Date posted: 7/25/2004 7:02:11 PM
Darth Wells's Comments:

I haven't finished reading this novel, but so far I think it is good stuff.

Author: Neosakid
Date posted: 1/18/2005 12:09:37 PM
Neosakid's Comments:

I just read this again...2 years after I posted a comment on this...and it blows my mind away still!!!!!!

I've told almost all my friends about this story...I love it

Author: Gefla Kulldune
Date posted: 2/19/2005 4:01:58 PM
Gefla Kulldune's Comments:

Such a great story, I did not want to take my eyes off of it. My only negative comment is that it seemed there were just too many character introductions, other than that this was a absolutely terrific story.

Author: forced  (signed)
Date posted: 3/5/2005 4:33:19 AM
forced's Comments:

That was some incredible story telling. I am impressed and inspired. Thanks for filling my night with adventure.

Author: Jonathan
Date posted: 4/4/2005 10:43:20 PM
Jonathan's Comments:

Very wonderful story. Smooth plotline, flawless grammar, and very innovative, from left field story. Who would have thought the Jedi Knights would become pacifists? All in all, great story.

Author: nomi sunrider
Date posted: 4/26/2005 8:07:41 PM
nomi sunrider's Comments:

The fact that your story elicited all the emotional responses that a reader could ever hope for (frustration, hope, anxiety, amusement, etc!) is a testament to your skill as an author. It isn't easy to organize all of the scenes in such a way that the events unfold properly. I came across this piece due to a craving for something post NJO and it did not disappoint. Certain *others* (or rather, a certain someONE!)seem to enjoy analyzing the heck out of this piece of writing; however, I think they are missing the point (and would have to be made out of stone not to be moved by this). Overall, I really enjoyed it and I take it for what it is - a gift. Thanks!

Author: deadofnight
Date posted: 4/28/2005 8:22:44 AM
deadofnight's Comments:

That was such a cool story! I loved the way Obi-Wan returned to the Force and how they saw him and the others at the end.

Author: Star Wars Nut
Date posted: 5/3/2005 8:41:37 PM
Star Wars Nut's Comments:

Wow, I've just recently discovered this place and read a few fics, but this one--- Wow! Everyone is right, the pacing and action felt just like a SW film, everything melded so well together. At first I was a little confused about characters, but that quickly cleared up and I became glued to my screen. Seriously have not stayed away all day reading this. Obi-Wan fleshed out as a real character felt so good, and having him be the savior just worked so well. I agree with Qui-Gon: he is the one who found and reached his goal. The smuggler, the Bothan pilot, the admiral (Wedge's great-grandson?) and of course the corrupt politicians, this has to be SW at its best. I don't read much of the canon or anything, only thing I think has come close is Shadows of Empire, but this is defintely right up there with it.

To any naysayers: whatever. This story was written from the heart, a true Star Wars heart. Enjoy it. With all the junk out that's out there, its refreshing to read something so totally devoted to the series and yet so new and original.

A real treat.

Author: RedGenesis
Date posted: 5/12/2005 4:50:05 PM
RedGenesis's Comments:

Pure Genius.

I loved the concept of this story, and I was gripped throughout the entire story.

This is by far one of the best Star Wars stories around, and ranks up there with the professional novels by Timothy Zhan and the like.

He should seriously consider a career writing Star Wars.

Author: Renegade_Jedi
Date posted: 7/3/2005 4:44:30 PM
Renegade_Jedi's Comments:

Absolutely great. Nice bit with Luke's memoirs, and bringing back the two droids...should've added something that ties Keiran back into the normal timeline though...if I remember right, Keiran was the name of the first Halycon...maybe have him be related to Corran?

Author: Nonius
Date posted: 8/21/2005 10:37:14 AM
Nonius's Comments:

Amazing! A great plot, with an actually reasonable explanation for time travel, an accurate description of the way the Jedi Order might have turned out, and all refreshingly typo free! I pasted this into MS Word, and it came out at 194 pages long! Keep up the good work!

Author: Morningcrest Ferret
Date posted: 9/22/2005 3:54:58 AM
Morningcrest Ferret's Comments:

OMG this has got to be the best story ever i love the way u resolved all the things i felt were missing in lucas's *brilliant* movies!!
Good job

Author: Master of Darkness
Date posted: 12/3/2005 1:25:49 PM
Master of Darkness's Comments:

I like the story it is one of the bedst i have
ever read

Author: Masternogrih
Date posted: 12/5/2005 10:56:09 AM
Masternogrih's Comments:

it was a very great story i like Andiell & Keiran
and Master Kenobi is also great

Author: WINGED_ANGEL  (signed)
Date posted: 1/14/2006 8:02:02 AM
WINGED_ANGEL's Comments:

When I first saw the title and the summery my reaction was "He's been reincarnated into a chick!!". But my hopes were quickly squished. For the longest time I was sure that the blond dude was a reincarnation of Anakin. But when Ani's spirit visited Obi-Wan, well........... squish time. I love it. So so so so so so so coooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: renegade_eveleen  (signed)
Date posted: 1/28/2006 1:43:21 AM
renegade_eveleen's Comments:

Oh my gosh! That was a wonderful story, almost brought me to tears, but I'm a softy any ways. This was the longest fanfiction I have ever read and it took me almost a week to read it(I'm a slow reader too.) I stayed up till 4am reading this thing, I couldn't stop myself! I must say, it has been the second best Star Wars fanfiction I have read!

Author: Estel
Date posted: 3/13/2006 1:27:47 PM
Estel's Comments:

Nice story.
I enjoyed reading it. Though I must admit that in the begining I was rather sceptical. But in the end it was beautiful.
It was nice to have another glimpse of Master Qui Gon, Anakin and of course Obi Wan.
It was really entertaining.

Author: Dustin
Date posted: 3/25/2006 12:58:45 AM
Dustin's Comments:

Absolutely Amazing! Like many other comments, I stayed up until 1am to finish this, it was so enthralling. Since the movie form of this is inplausible, I think a storyboard of visual dictionary would be really nice to help get a better grasp on what the characters look like to the author. (For example, I can't really imagine what Spectre looks like without thinking of Sidious)

I just had a few very trivial things that I didn't like: The biggest was that the pace at the pivotal moments seemed a little fast (Andiell's Discovery of Obi-Wan, or how quickly Keiran's first encounter seemed to go).
The only other is the vast amount of unusual names that one has to remember. (This is VERY trivial) With the exception of Antilles and Obi-Wan, I had to keep trying really hard to remember who was whom since there were so many unusual names.

But again, this fanfiction is wonderful, I really enjoyed Obi-Wan's feelings at the beginning having been one with the force, and then returned to the real world. Compelling plot, would love a visual guide, awesome Story.


Author: darthheimdall
Date posted: 4/6/2006 7:34:59 PM
darthheimdall's Comments:

An excellent story. Rough in some places, but excellent. I will not blame you for not being consistent with Episodes II and III, because those probably came out after you wrote this. That being said, your character and plot development, and setting descriptions are vivid, consistent, and enthralling. The only rough patches I saw are the following:
1) Mara Jade's inclusion among the 'ghosts' seemed too much like a last ditch effort to show Andiell's place in the Skywalker line.
2) The subplot where Obi-Wan wonders whether or not Darth Spectre is redeemable was dropped too quickly. He should have put up a reasonable effort to redeem him instead of just giving up
3) You could have found a more creative way to show the love story, instead of just having Keiran and Andiell blurt out "I love you". I still believed it, nonetheless, but a writer of your caliber could do better.

That being said, this story is a solid ten, as far as I am concerned. If you can do this well with George Lucas's universe, then I will be the first person to buy your books when you decide to create your own.

Author: Sunrider
Date posted: 4/12/2006 9:54:30 AM
Sunrider's Comments:

Loved it

Author: joe7049
Date posted: 9/13/2006 6:25:45 PM
joe7049's Comments:

First of I have to say that as I was reading through the comments others left I was appaled at what I saw. How many times did you read the story and immerse yourself in the storyline before you commented on it? The whole thing about the Sith and Kenobi at the end was summed up rather nicely by another person saying that if you can choose the location of the battle you want home field advantage. As to the love story, does every love story HAVE to be overly dramatic? What, people can't just all the sudden blurt out their affection for one another? This is a very well written story as this is about my 25th time reading it. All parts of the battle were very well covered from space to ground to a togorian Jedi leaving to show up at the end at the right moment. All plots were fulfilled and this is one of my fav stories on fanfic. Well Done!

Author: pr1983  (signed)
Date posted: 9/16/2006 10:08:59 PM
pr1983's Comments:

Ok, now i really liked this story, an excellent premise, plenty of obi wan (always a plus in my book), and a good twist on the evolution of the jedi...

but, and they are small buts...

obi was constantly represented throughout the story as being a better fighter than everyone else, yet at the end it seemed to go out the window (even with the location, which i didnt mind, its a sith temple after all). even if he was going to be at a disadvantage, it seemed to happen too quickly... :
the 'love conquers all' theme, was just a little too over the top, especially at the end...

and i didnt understand the relevance of including yoda (or qui gon for that matter) :
that said, kudos to the writer(s), they told the story they wanted to tell, and the sheer quality of the story in parts more than compensates for a couple of small niggles...

so all in all... my compliments... well worth the 5 hours i spent reading it...

Author: JediNite
Date posted: 10/13/2006 12:59:47 PM
JediNite's Comments:

I just wanted to say, I mistakenly stumbled across this story and thought it was great. I was completely riveted and enthralled in the story and the characters from start to finish. Jeff you have a great talent, keep it up!

Author: Storm's Eye
Date posted: 11/23/2006 8:04:21 AM
Storm's Eye's Comments:

Overall, this has been one of the best SW fictions that i have ever read. The story was well developed, and it was written in such a way that readers felt sympathetic to the characters, especially Obi Wan Kenobi, whom was misunderstood by the Jedi in the beginning of the story. However, it seems unlikely that both R2D2 and C3P0 would remain unscathed and completely functional after more than 500 years. It also seems rather implausible that cloaking technology would remain undeveloped after 500 years, when Jedi pilots used cloaking technology in their starfighters in Luke Skywalker's time. Additionally, I find that the names of the Sith were rather uninspired. Seriously, Darth Ebony? And Darth Spectre? Why not Darth Killer Bunny? Furthermore, the portion of the story where Keiran and Andiell suddenly burst out in proclaimations of love is rather corny. And cheezy. And lame. I have seen better attempts at such in adolescent love poems. Other than these rather insignificant details, i deem your writings to be worthy of a true science fiction writer. Good job. But please, less cheesiness.

Author: feonixrift
Date posted: 1/20/2007 2:44:38 AM
feonixrift's Comments:

Fabulous and fascinating. I loved the characterization, the pacing, the fight scenes (and I normally hate fight scenes)...

But what really held me was the delicate interplay of people figuring out what Peace really means in the Force.

Author: Shuro  (signed)
Date posted: 2/22/2007 1:48:32 PM
Shuro's Comments:

wow...that was a fantastic story, well written, a bit of romance but not too heavy( like a little salt can go a long way), i liked how the plot played out.....good way of taking care of Obi-Wan :) really stupendous job!

Author: nasbo
Date posted: 5/7/2007 7:04:57 AM
nasbo's Comments:

I thought this showed good depth and imagination. It took a bit of getting used to with all the various names but i did enjoy reading it.
Could easily of become a decent novel.
My only criticism was that the 7days before the republic fleet flew to Coruscant seemed a bit too long. The suspense was good, but i began to skip passages!

Congratulations on a good fan fic!

Author: Katsu_Davoren  (signed)
Date posted: 8/26/2007 12:42:19 PM
Katsu_Davoren's Comments:


Author: Toledous
Date posted: 11/16/2007 12:43:50 PM
Toledous's Comments:

This is actually the second time I've read through this, and it was just as good as I remember it the first time (which was a year or so back). I had little trouble at all picture this in my head, I felt as if I were watching a movie in my brain because of all the detail. This is a refreshing story and I highly reccommend.

Author: karlblackdog  (signed)
Date posted: 1/13/2008 3:03:01 AM
karlblackdog's Comments:

Excellent work, stylish yet reachable for children. A monument in fan fiction work.

Author: Mando'a
Date posted: 6/28/2008 5:45:23 PM
Mando'a's Comments:

nice work, Jeff42.
this was really engaging and original. you could literally span a series off this (a la "young jedi knights")
great story

Author: MightyMe
Date posted: 6/29/2008 4:36:50 PM
MightyMe's Comments:

I have just had a movie marathon with all the starwars vids a few days ago, and decided to read some of the starwars novels, to my big disdain the novels didnt catch me, for fun i tried looking up some fanfiction and damn mate yours where the first one i saw, and already in the prologue you had me hooked. Extremely well written, twisted plot, loveable characters.....
in other words you should become professional in this line of business you sure got the talent.

Yours faithfully
Rasmus Bach Jakobsen

Author: Jallorn
Date posted: 12/30/2008 6:44:12 AM
Jallorn's Comments:

Interesting idea, but 500 years seems far to short a time for all the tings you predict. Not to mention the fact that Ben was only able to manifest for a couple decades and Luke aparently managed to survive 500 years. Good story, (although I haven't read much yet) but it needs some work in realism. And yes, I know it's not realistic in the first place, but still... aside from the obvious *cough*force*cough* the universe of SW works much the same as our own.

Author: Gelatart
Date posted: 11/7/2009 10:30:13 AM
Gelatart's Comments:


P.S.: Can you help me with mine? It takes place in 607 A.B.Y. E-mail me if you want to...

Author: Casey Moore
Date posted: 2/2/2010 12:02:55 AM
Casey Moore's Comments:

This fic started out pretty well. I enjoyed the creativity behind the setting (although 500 years is far too short of a time for the Jedi Order to fall into this state), and the tension struck between those with different definitions of "peacekeepers" was great. I also enjoyed several of the characters, Keiran in particular.
However, I must say that once I got further into the story, I became more and more disappointed with how things progressed. I think a few too many liberties were taken with how the Force was used by the Jedi, and what their capabilities really were. Also, it seems unlikely that the young Jedi could be trained as fighters to anywhere near the level it was portrayed they were in so short a time. I might have been a bit more convinced if the time period of training extended over months, not weeks. Another thing...names? Most of them were decent, and I applaud most of the choices, but...Darth Spectre? Darth Ruin? (I enjoyed that Darth Killer Bunny comment, by the way, thank you for that)
There were several times when Obi-Wan seemed a little too out-of character, but it was ok for the most part.
Overall, I came close to enjoying it. I couldn't quite get over some of the small things that scream that this is just fan fiction though. I have read fanfiction before that I've gotten so into that I've forgotten it was fanfiction. This story did not meet that standard for me. I applaud the excellent effort though.

Author: Caleb
Date posted: 9/28/2011 9:25:25 PM
Caleb's Comments:

I remember reading this piece years ago, and when the Legacy storylines with Cade Skywalker unfolded it seemed to me like a case of canon imitating fan fiction. Did you have anything to do with it?

Author: Plo Koon
Date posted: 11/5/2016 8:41:24 PM
Plo Koon's Comments:

For me this Is amazing story a real adventure that I really couldn't anticipate the end like in most of stories usually.
What I don't like is definitely:so many force ghosts?? I mean cmon besides how difficult is to learn to become force ghost wich is years and years of training and proper guidance,also how could Anakin become force ghost if he was later on darth vader on dark side and only few moments before death "changed his mind"
Except that I would also say that I expected training of jedis to be much more complex and longer since jedis trained years in light saber duels.
And third thing I dont quite understand I might be wrong about this one but how could Sith lord or any of hid apprentice learn to fight with light sabers? He could learn all the ways of using the dark side of the force but again for combat need training,right?

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