Date posted: 1/8/2009 1:57:16 PM
Very nice work. I liked the descriptive detail in the beginning, and the way that Calix was characterized. The most surprising part about this is how it seemed to accomplish so much with so little dialogue.
A minor quibble from the grammar book:
"Tobias Malikar was legendary in the undergrounds circles of Calix's trade"
Personally, I think it'd read better as "underground circles" rather than what it currently does.
Still, I'm not trying to detract from the quality of the story. My apologies if I've posted inappropriately; I'm new. 9_9