Date posted: 11/4/2002 9:33:14 PM
Big thanks to my betas, Xiava and LadyElaine!
Date posted: 11/5/2002 3:43:02 AM
Wow! This was a great story. :) It was well-written and I loved the characterizations - they were perfect.
I especially like the way the relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin is developed in this story. You see in this that Obi-Wan loves Anakin, something that I've always believed to be true. Anakin is trying to find his way, and Obi-Wan is doing his best to help him. Looking at this story, I can't help but feel like Obi-Wan *was* the best person to train Anakin.
I also liked Siri in this, and especially the subplot of her being concerned about taking a Padawan. The characterization of her is simply wonderful - her words and actions are things that I can easily imagine her doing. And the banter between her and Obi-Wan are one of my favorites parts of the story. I just loved it!
And the plot itself was unique and interesting. I found the Jedi Knight's death very sad, but it was fitting - a warning of what's to come. And the way the Jedi are treated on that world is horrifying - and it just makes me sadder knowing that this will become nearly galaxy-wide, sooner or later.
In conclusion, this story was excellent. :)
Author: Brendon Wahlberg
Date posted: 11/5/2002 9:22:22 AM
Brendon Wahlberg's Comments:
As one of the reviewers of this story, I highly recommend it to all readers who enjoy the "Jedi Apprentice & Jedi Quest" books. This reads like an entry in the book series, an engaging story that fits right in with Jude Watson's work. The characters are handled right, and the reader will be treated to an exploration of what it means for a Jedi not to have a family. The plot is complex and well worth the long read. It finishes on a chilling note that enhances the story and leaves you uneasy about the future of the Jedi.
Date posted: 11/5/2002 1:06:47 PM
Another terrific story by Fern -- the Obi-Wan/Anakin dynamic alone makes the story worth reading, but the rest of the characters are well-drawn, and the plot is engaging. Great job.
Date posted: 11/7/2002 4:40:39 AM
In the Words of Boss Nass .................."Dissen Bombad Story"
I thought It was well woven and I was kept hooked until the very last line. Keep em coming!!
Date posted: 11/7/2002 8:45:03 PM
Very cool, liked Siri, she reminded me of myself for some odd reason.... Never thought that Obi Wan could be so neat, very endearing! :) Good job!
Date posted: 11/8/2002 12:12:05 PM
Bravo!!! A great story, and great delivery. Keep writing, and i will keep reading.
Date posted: 11/8/2002 4:00:55 PM
Absolutely brilliant! I loved the interactiopn between the characters, and the slightest hint of attraction between Obi-Wan and Siri - Siri one of my favourites. The thing with her and Adi was cute, and the end with Anakin thinking it was just a test run... chillling. I can't help but wonder how you'd do writing an AU with Vader (I'm bad about AUs. I hate the way Anakin dies after turning. I think he Luke Leia and Padme make the best family...) You're a great writer, I hope you keep it up!
Author: Elinon Bybeth
Date posted: 11/10/2002 2:09:40 AM
Elinon Bybeth's Comments:
As always, brilliant story, fantastic characterisation and just great writing!
Date posted: 11/10/2002 12:35:01 PM
Impressive... most impressive. This is one of the few fanfic stories that read better than many pro stories. In fact, I feel I ought to re-rate (down) all the stories I've already rated, because it is way too good for a simple "10". If this one is 10, the average good fanfic story is down to 5-6.
Author: Darth Pipes
Date posted: 11/10/2002 8:54:07 PM
Darth Pipes's Comments:
Great story! The best JA/JQ story I have seen. A wonderful exploration of the Anakin/Obi-Wan relationship and I especially enjoyed seeing Siri used so well.
Date posted: 11/11/2002 7:58:59 PM
Nice I like the Family interaction between Anakin and Obi-Wan
Date posted: 11/16/2002 11:07:17 PM
its rare that i find a fanfic THIS good
i felt sorta bad for Obi-Wan in the beginning because he was subject to so many jokes from Siri and Anakin...o well...lol u can tell Obi-Wan has a thing for her...n vice-versa
Date posted: 11/18/2002 7:18:31 AM
Thanks for all the nice words!
Before I forget, I'd also like to thank the people in the Fan Fiction Resources forum at the Jedi Council boards, who responded with a lot of suggestions for derogatory terms for Jedi that might be used on Malkiri.
Date posted: 11/27/2002 11:46:21 AM
I loved this story. FernWithy, you are easily my favourite fan fiction author.
Author: Master Nol-Tel-Sete
Date posted: 11/29/2002 11:43:33 AM
Master Nol-Tel-Sete's Comments:
I thought the work was excelent and I would reconmend it to any body who would read a star wars fan fiction. I also belive that I would like if you could do a story on shri and her new student.
Author: Siri Ruane
Date posted: 12/11/2002 6:13:10 PM
Siri Ruane's Comments:
Love the story! Jude Watson would be proud! I had sooo much fun reading it, and I gave it a total 10!
Date posted: 12/21/2002 6:09:08 PM
I've been trying to read this story for months, but between tryin' to study for exams and read fanfic...things were hectic!
I just want to say, though, that this is a beautifully executed story. The characters are well developed--and I especially enjoyed the detail put into expressing Anakin. From his teenage-boyishness to his overwhelming emotions (I swear, those visions were chilling)...right down to the innate sense of wanting to help. You've captured the character just as I always pictured him, and I want to thank you for that.
And thank you, once again, for a very beautiful and touching story.
Author: Siri Ruane
Date posted: 1/2/2003 2:27:03 PM
Siri Ruane's Comments:
This is my second time reading this story! And my second comment. The story is too cool.
Siri Tachi has always been my favorite Jedi of all time, and when I read this story (both times) I love her even more! I am the biggest Siri Tachi Fan EVER! As you can see by my email address. I myself have made up stories of her and Adi Gallia, and I hope one day to put them on this site. Thanks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Ayse Naberrie
Date posted: 1/4/2003 5:42:42 PM
Ayse Naberrie's Comments:
AMAZING! This is quite possibly the best fanfic I have ever read. The plot is unique and the characters well thought about. It gave a great point of view about the Jedi from another culture's aspect.
Author: Silent Darth
Date posted: 2/8/2003 7:45:28 PM
Silent Darth's Comments:
This story kept me up waaay past my bedtime! I was hooked. Very well done. I enjoyed the explaoration of the Master/Padawan relationship. I also enjoyed the ways that Obi Wan and Siri spoke to each other as equals yet sometime friends, sometime adversaries(not on any serious level, of course). A good story. I enjoyed reading your story.
Date posted: 3/10/2003 10:16:18 PM
I just LOVED this story, FernWithy! Because of its length, I put off reading this story for the longest time - only to be illogically disappointed when it came to an all-too-soon end.
I LOVED your characterization of Anakin, my favorite male character. And I loved your use of foreshadowing. The way Obi-Wan pulled Anakin back when he wanted to hit that little boy "just once" made me think of the next time Anakin gets that angry...and Obi-Wan isn't there to pull him back.
I thought that the dialogue was wonderful, and in keeping with the personality of these characters that we have come to know and love. And I got chills up my spine when Anakin recognized what they had been through for what it was: a test run. Chills that were surpassed only by the ones I got thinking of how everyone in the galaxy - including the Jedi - are embracing as their hero and savior the one man capable of destroying everything they hold dear.
But I will digress no more, as words can obviously not express how breathtaking your story was. It was worth every minute of the four hours I spent reading it. :p
Date posted: 3/22/2003 4:04:41 PM
"Family Portrait" was excellent! I was impressed at your useage of voice. Your characterizations of all three of the main characters matches that of the published books. I personally believe that this should be a Jedi Quest book! Please, please write a sequel!
Date posted: 5/27/2003 5:24:34 PM
Your fanfiction clearly shows a lot of effort used in writing it. While reading it, I thought that your fanfiction sounded very realisitc, or rather how the real Obi-wan, Anakin, and Siri would be like. The theory that Naboo and the other planet were simply "test runs" was interesting. The most "deep" part of the story would be the part where Obi-wan realizes that paining and sculpting clay is the way Anakin brings out his thoughts and visions. I really like the idea of the undercover-family thing. It was really sweet and snuggy sounding. It was also a pretty good point about the parents missing the kids with force potential. It's an obvious conclusion when you think about it, but you don't really realize it completely. Anyway, you're a really good writer.
Author: Senator Leia
Date posted: 6/15/2003 9:02:51 PM
Senator Leia's Comments:
I loved it easily one of my favorites. I love stories with Obi-Wan and Siri in them. Great job.
Date posted: 7/28/2003 2:18:59 AM
I have but one thing to say: WOW, that was AWSOME!! I really liked the story, and think that you should be come an author of the JA series. It would be VERY cool!!
I just want to say thanks for the great story, and keep writing...
Date posted: 8/30/2003 4:57:57 AM
Very very good writing skills. This story was pretty interesting.
The problem with the anti-Jedi sentiment in this city is that it is not undeserved. Mentally giving a "suggestion" to a person would be, in my opinion, much worse then murdering them. It is taking something that no-one has a right to take from anyone else, no matter what the provocation.
My view of the Jedi recruitment customs is..
If they come to take your kids, aim for the head in case they are wearing body armor.
Date posted: 11/17/2003 12:28:47 AM
Fantastic story. Everything was excellent -- plot, characters, writing... Would love to see more like this!
Date posted: 7/16/2004 1:29:03 PM
Y'know...this is one of the only fanfics I've ever read that actually felt like Star Wars as well as being a good story...
Date posted: 7/29/2004 11:19:07 AM
I really enjoyed this story. It was well written with great characterizations, lessons, action, and suspense. I've been looking for fanfic stories with Siri and this is the best one I've found so far.
A really great job and I hope you write more. :)
Date posted: 1/25/2005 11:34:07 PM
I really really really REALLY like this story even though it's very long it took me 3 days to finish it. i love the bits with Ani and Obi Wan those are my favourites as soon as i got to whem they met Yoda the 1st time i was gripped. I love this Fan Fic!!!!
Author: clay poker chip set
Date posted: 5/7/2005 2:27:33 PM
clay poker chip set's Comments:
Date posted: 5/27/2005 1:24:03 PM
I cannot really find words for how breathtaking your fanfic was, I mean, I right a few fanfics but none as awesome as this!!!
Yes, you can really see how the bond between Obe-wan and Anakin developes - I love the plot!
Please write more!!!!
Date posted: 6/25/2005 6:53:40 PM
Wow. I loved it, especially the ending..."i have to go home now." it really shows the human side of Anakin, if you know what I mean.
Date posted: 11/4/2005 12:38:33 PM
Excllent job. That was quite a novel! It took me three days to read it all and it was worth it.
I love Jude Watson's Jedi Quest (even though I've only read up until book 4) and Jedi Apprentice. I wish there was more stories like this that focus on m favorite aspect of the SW universe -- the master, apprentice bond.
Thanks for the read.
Date posted: 12/27/2005 10:09:38 PM
It was great. I esspecially loved the bit about Anakins vision. It was an entertaining story and it took me 6 hours to read with interuptions. I was taking my time because it was so good and I wanted to take everything in. I love long story's because they keep me occupied.
Date posted: 1/21/2006 1:20:11 PM
that totally rocked!
i loved it!
im curious how his 'lesson' went tho. glad sri isn't quitting do you know all the jedi's names if so could you e-mail me them I'm working on my own stories and I never know their names so I'm either making it up or hopefully someone can tell me their name.
write more i love this!
Date posted: 1/21/2006 10:27:27 PM
i love this story! it's been one of my favorites since i discovered fics...it's so great!
Date posted: 2/24/2006 4:29:17 PM
Really cool. The bust of Obi-Wan and D. Maul reminded me so much of the book Jedi Quest (not the series, the book) and if you haven't read that, please do. This story rocked.
Author: Darth Haako
Date posted: 5/5/2006 11:50:01 PM
Darth Haako's Comments:
Wow, I am so impressed with this! It's so hard to find fanfiction with this level of symbolism and description. I love the characterizations, especially with the common folk on Malkiri. In short, you did a great job with everything. I was glued from start to finish, and I'm going to bookmark the story so I can come re-read it later. I know it's been a few years now, but I would like to see more from you! Great job!
Author: Jedi Cat Kenobi
Date posted: 5/14/2006 1:57:50 PM
Jedi Cat Kenobi's Comments:
oh this was great!!! It is, quite possibly, one of the BEST SW fics that I have ever had the pleasure of reading!!!
Date posted: 8/26/2006 8:23:39 AM
Sooooo nice !
Realy, i like your FF!
Date posted: 2/8/2007 11:10:30 AM
This is such an amazing story! Thankyou for writing this story!!!!!
Date posted: 4/24/2007 3:43:32 PM
Amazing story. You are a talented writer.
The interaction between Obi-wan/Anakin/Siri was great. Siri is one of my favorite Jedi; you portray her very well. I didn't like Shapoi at first, but as the story went on, my opinion of him changed. He was a interesting and well-developed character. It was extremely sad how he died. I think Malkariís unwarranted prejudice against the Jedi kind of symbolizes how some people today are discriminated against certain people for no concrete reason.
Date posted: 10/24/2007 12:37:53 AM
Wow. I just recently found out about the whole fan-fiction thing and I've only read a few. The first one I read was the "If I don't catch you","I won't fail you", trilogy thing by Julie. I really liked that but I read this and...Wow. This is just as good if not better than the books by Jude Watson. THIS WAS GREAT!
Date posted: 10/8/2008 8:51:45 PM
WOW! I just finished reading this and i like it alot! The whole 'family' thing was just hysterical! Loved Ani's vision, ironic really... 1 thing that really stood out to me was Anikan being good at art, thought that was a softer, normal, side that you never see.
Sorry I spell Anikan's name wrong but I'm tired and am totally drawing a blank..
Date posted: 3/3/2009 7:51:12 PM
I've read and enjoyed this story before, appreciating it for the plot, the characterization, the sheer fun in some places and painful emotion in others.
Somewhat unexpectedly, today I found that it reminded me of some things I need to think about in my own life. So anyway, thanks.
Date posted: 6/19/2009 1:51:47 PM
I remember reading this story about four years ago, and thinking it was fantastic. I was a very slow reader back then and it must have taken me at least three days to read it. As someone said before, it is one of the few fanfictions that actually feels like Star Wars, and not just like you're manipulating a story, or trying to delve into a characters thoughts. It just feels, well, canon. So much so that sometime after I finished it I was talking to my sister about the Jedi Quest series, and I mistakenly referred to this story as one of the best books in the series. My sister had also read Family Portrait, and she too had thought it was a Jedi Quest book.
I love how this story goes through the inner conflicts that Siri, Obi-Wan, and Anakin are having. I also love how all of them are resolved in a realistic and heartfelt manner, but Anakin's story touched me the most. His conflict about family and being part of the Order, how where his mother was home to him, and him feeling a bit bitter at the Order for not letting him see her... But he learns so much, and that last line holds a lot of meaning. Simply brilliant.