Date posted: 2/11/2003 2:39:12 AM
Ouch. That's one harsh lesson for Obi-wan. All very character building though. Great story!
Date posted: 2/11/2003 3:51:02 PM
Wow, very nice Obi-Wan story! The connection between him and his master is genuine, and it seems like he made a mistake like any mistake any other teenager could make, which makes it so realistic! Great story!
Date posted: 2/11/2003 4:56:12 PM
well phar had a good plan its just to bad it takes alot to seduce a jedi..even a padwaan
if she had just told him that she was being beatin maybe just maybe he could have helped..oh well that just shows how crazy we teenagers are..
Date posted: 2/14/2003 1:43:58 PM
Great story. I always felt that the JA never really dealt with those things that teenage guys normally do - namely, girls. ;)
Date posted: 2/17/2003 2:29:35 AM
Good job on "Crushed", Jane. And did anyone else notice Phar's full name? Potiphar Swife. Potiphar's wife, to be exact. Anyone who knows their Bible knows that she's the one that repeatedly tried to seduce Joseph, and finally cried "Rape!" after being rebuffed, in her opinion, one too many times. Anyway, this was definitely a harsh lesson for Obi-wan to learn, but one he needed. I was really impressed by this story. It gripped my attention until the very end. :p Did you write "I Refuse" as well?
Author: Jane Jinn
Date posted: 2/17/2003 12:54:19 PM
Jane Jinn's Comments:
Thank you for the wonderful comments, everybody! And let me thank my beta readers, Marnie, Mistress Renata, and Anareal Jinn, for all their help and hard work.
Yes, Destiny, I did write "I Refuse". And you'll find the story of the good Samaritan repeated in my other fic, "Trust in the Force." I find the Bible to be very inspiring. :D Thanks for noticing!
Date posted: 2/20/2003 11:19:07 AM
Yes, I've heard the comparison made between the Force and the Active Force more than once. I'll have to read your other stories. :p
Date posted: 2/20/2003 3:06:26 PM
Great job! I'm a Christian and it's encouraging to see stuff from the Bible used in fan fiction. I also noticed "No [Jedi] can serve two masters"
from Matthew 6:24a. Great job again, and keep it up!
Date posted: 3/2/2003 4:28:08 PM
An excellent story. You really described the emotions in an understandable way and I could understand Phar's reasons for asking what she did completely. Good job on a great story.
Date posted: 3/5/2003 10:58:35 PM
A good fic. Allthough I have to say I'm a little uncomfortable with the fact that they have to wear orange overalls...silly of me, perhaps, but it just seems so humiliating! ;-)
Plus, the ending was a little abrupt. Otherwise, I like the story a lot.
Date posted: 3/9/2003 8:36:10 AM
It took me a while to get this read, but I'm so glad I did. I love *story*, and 'Crushed' was pure story. Crisp prose, realistic dialogue, mounting tension, a satisfying ending. You write with the clarity of a Jude Watson, Jane. Great job.
Date posted: 3/9/2003 11:07:23 AM
Wow! It's hard to believe that Obi Wan Kenobi would have a crush on someone.
Date posted: 3/11/2003 7:12:33 AM
tHE STORY WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Anareal Jinn
Date posted: 3/18/2003 10:42:58 PM
Anareal Jinn's Comments:
Nice job, Jane. Sorry it took me so long to get back to it. I am very very glad you took the time to write this.
Date posted: 4/8/2003 10:32:31 AM
Nice story, Jane. It's cute, it has the necessary humour and necessary seriousness. What else can I say about a story like this? Great job!
Author: Senator Leia
Date posted: 7/16/2003 7:46:26 AM
Senator Leia's Comments:
This was a great story Jane.I'm glade that it delt with things that teenagers really deal with. Once again good job and keep up the good work.
Date posted: 8/1/2003 9:31:58 PM
Great story, Jane!
It's hard to believe that Qui-Gon has had two crushes, lol. :D
Author: Jedi Princess
Date posted: 10/8/2003 3:54:28 PM
Jedi Princess's Comments:
Very well written story.It's good to see other christian people who are crazy about Star Wars.
Author: Arren Terrilon
Date posted: 8/3/2004 1:29:41 PM
Arren Terrilon's Comments:
uh interesting...it was good though; it shows ust that obi-wan is more than just some jedi kid who knows nothing about the real world
jude watson would never have thought of something like that even though shes a great author
Date posted: 11/25/2004 12:45:24 AM
It was a good story, but I would like to make a few comments. First I liked the take off on Potiphar's wife. But, I find it unlikely that Obi-wan would simply disobey Qui-Gon, especially after his experience with Melida/Daan,(Jedi Apprentice #'5-6). I also doubt that an action resulting in death would be punished by assigning him to scrubing bathrooms, even if it was for two months. Next I wanted to add that Qui-Gon not only had a crush on someone, he, as it is said in the book, "pledged his love" to fellow Jedi Tahl, as Obi-wan eventually realized. As I said, this is a good story with some suprising twists. I just felt that some aspects were a bit...off. I mean no offense, and just want to give my honest opinion. Please keep writing as you have a wonderfu, descriptive style. May the Force be with you!
Date posted: 6/20/2005 4:48:42 AM
I absolutly loved this story. I had to leave for work but was bound to the computer by this story. Well I managed to leave on time and found a way to finish reading the story at work.
Date posted: 1/14/2006 7:56:12 AM
So cool. Us teenagers are so crazy. We wouldn't know suduction if it bit us on the nose. Great story. Loved it. Though I hated it that she had to die. She had spunk. I'll give her that.
Date posted: 4/24/2006 5:38:19 PM
Poor Obi-Wan, he was in it all, he never suspected what Phar was trying to do. I liked how Obi-Wan felt completely normal emotions, but didn't give into them and destroy his prospects of being a Jedi. I love this story, Obi-Wan sticks to his morals and learns from his mistakes.
I also got the "No Jedi (man) can serve two masters". Excellently written and completely believable. I love all of your stories!
Date posted: 11/16/2008 5:26:28 PM
The descriptions were good, but what I liked best was the dialogue. IT really brings the story to life.
Date posted: 9/26/2009 7:53:26 PM
That was one sad and disturbing story...poor Obi-Wan!But I liked the comment about "No Jedi can serve two masters". So true!