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Gungan to the left

Fallen Angel (PG)

By : AngelQueen

Archived on: Monday, May 28, 2001

After turning to the Dark Side, Anakin must say goodbye to a fallen angel.

Dedication: To Clarus, who inspired me to do this story! Thanks a mil Clarus! This is also for Angel of Iego and Snow Angel, who took the time to beta read this for me! Thanks girls, you're both such sweethearts!

"She's in here Lord Vader, but I'm not sure-"

"That will be all, Madame. Leave us."

So, he has finally found me. Ani has finally come. Or is it Vader now? No matter, Luke and Leia are safe. Safe in their new homes and buried so deep within my mind that it is only possible for me and me alone to find them.

I slowly open my eyes and stare at him blankly. He is dressed all in black, and on his belt he carries a lightsabre. But it isn't his. It must have been given to him by Palpatine, the so-called Emporer..

I know I probably look terrible. The disease is eating at my heart from the inside out for the past six months. There is nothing anyone can do. I doubt even the Chosen One could save me now.

Ani always said that I was an angel. Well, if I was, then I must be a fallen angel now.

She looks terrible. Her face is pale and drawn. She has lost so much weight its probably a miracle she's even alive right now. No. Not a miracle, just her will, which is the strongest I've ever seen.

I still don't know why I am here. I left her on Naboo to serve Palpatine. It was my choice. My choice to leave her screaming in our bedroom, my choice to leave the Jedi. My choice. So why am I here?

It must be her. No matter how hard I try to deny it, she is still my angel. And now, because of me, she is a fallen angel.

The doctors told me that it is a wasting disease, caused by stress, that slowly eats out the heart. It has infected only a few over the past fifty years and they still haven't found a cure for it. They've called in Jedi healers before, and even they cannot heal those that are infected.

She opens her eyes and she stares at me. Her eyes are still the most beautiful in the galaxy, even when they are tired and full of pain. The hurt in them doesn't seem to be only from this disease that is slowly and painfully killing her. There is another kind of pain in them.

With a great effort, she manages to whisper, "Ani..."


How I managed to speak I don't know. I haven't been able to speak for almost a week. I've just been so tired. Now though, I feel as though some strength has returned to my body.

I manage to hold a hand out to him. He comes over as if being controlled by someone else and takes it. He wants to speak, I can see it, but he doesn't know what to say. To apologize probably. To say that he is sorry for leaving me a sobbing mess in our bedroom in Theed Palace, for leaving me with a son and daughter who must be hidden from him, their own father, and the monster he now serves.

It's too late for sorry. But it's not too late for him to love me. After all, despite all he's done, I still love him. My Ani.

I wish I could tell him that, but the strength that was just there a moment ago is gone. All I can do is squeeze his hand slightly and stare at him.

I realize that Luke is going to look just like him. He did from the moment he was born. Blue eyes and a lock of blond hair. The difference in their eyes though is remarkable. Whereas Luke's eyes were wide and innocent, just as a nine-year-old boy's once were, Ani's are now darker. They lost their innocence long ago.

A fallen angel and a Jedi turned Sith. What a pair we make.

'A fallen angel and a Jedi turned Sith. What a pair we make.'

I heard that last thought coming from her. She's turning bitter, but not completely. I feel something I haven't felt in a long time.


She's a beautiful woman, even after she's been ravaged by this disease that has taken hold of her. She's the one perfect being in this galaxy and she's bitter. She shouldn't be. I made her this way.

I haven't felt this way in so long. I always regretted having to leave my mother behind all those years ago. I didn't return until it was too late. Ever since then, I haven't let myself feel anything except anger. But now regret flows through me full force.

"Padm?," I whisper, "I..."

I don't know what to say to her. I want to say that I'm sorry for what I've put her through, but I've never been good at apologizing to anyone, even to those who I care about.

Perhaps it's too late. To late for sorrys, but never too late for me to love her. Perhaps she should know that.

"Padm?... I never stopped loving you. I never once did."

He never stopped loving me. I think my mind always knew that, but my still heart needed him to say it. I close my eyes briefly andI feel more at peace than I have in a long time. He has always loved me. Even when he was a 'funny little boy.'

I open my eyes to him again and find that I can't see him as well as I could before. It won't be long now. My time grows short. I wish I could speak to him one last time.

It shall be granted... Young Handmaiden...

If I had the energy, I would have jumped at the voice inside of my mind. Only one person dared to call me that. Qui-Gon Jinn. By the Force, how could such a thing be possible?

You just thought it. The Force. Now hurry.

Who am I to argue with a Jedi Master, dead or not?

"Anakin," I say, "I never... stopped loving you... either. Things... will change one... day. There will come... a day when... you shall join me... and... we'll finally..."

I'm growing weaker and I can see a light forming behind him. It's almost time. I can't help but smile at him.

Those words. Words spoken by my angel. I haven't heard her voice in so long. She smiles at me. Though I can see the light in her eyes flickering, her whole face still glows when she smiles. It reminds me of a time when a young Queen smiled at a new Jedi Padawan in the midst of a huge celebration.

Those happy days are gone now. Dead by my hand, and by my Master's hand.

Why? Is it a lust for power? Or merely to prove to everyone that I am truly not a slave? I don't know anymore. I thought I did, but now I'm not so certain.

Still, she smiles at me. Me. I don't deserve it. I never deserved her. She could have had any man in the galaxy and she chose me. The wandering Jedi. What did I do to deserve the love of an angel?

I don't know. So many things I do not know.

Her eyes are drifting shut. NO! She can't leave me now! Is this revenge for me leaving her? No! Padm? does not take revenge.

"Padm? no! Don't go," I shout in a strangled voice.

I hear him screaming for me not to go, but I'm so tired. I just want to sleep Ani. Don't cry my darling. We'll see each other again. I promise.

I can see Qui-Gon waiting for me. He's there Ani. He's watching you with such sad eyes. He sees what the little boy he knew has become.

The other Jedi are there too. Master Windu, Master Adi, the entire Jedi Council with the exception of Master Yoda . He, along with Obi-Wan and the twins, are the last hope for the Jedi. The twins are your last hope, Ani. I pray they succeed where have I failed.

I love you Anakin Skywalker. Never forget that...

Across the galaxy, on two completely different worlds, two small children begin to scream.

She's gone. Gone to join the other angels. I thought I heard her whisper something about Qui-Gon, but it must have been my imagination. My beautiful angel.

Slowly, as though a great pain has been placed on my shoulders, I rise from the seat that I have been sitting on. I disconnect all the machines that had been hooked to her body. Then I pick her up and walk out the door. Everyone stares, but no one tries to stop me. Good. If someone did, I'd probably kill them on the spot.

Her head rests against my chest. The look on her face is so peaceful. She might as well be sleeping.

We arrived back at my castle sometime later. The stormtroopers give me a wide berth. I can hear what they're thinking. My face looks dead. They're probably right. I feel dead. My angel, my wife, my soul is dead.

I take her into my private chambers. Laying her on the bed, I then move to the closet and pull out a small chest. In it contains a few of her things that I have always kept with me; a few outfits, some jewelry, the japor snippet, and the letters we have written to one another over the years.

I manage to dress her in a simple white gown. It is Nubian, but it seems to have a bit of Alderaanian design to it as well. It was a birthday gift from the wife of Bail Organa, Kayla. Padm? had loved it.

For the longest time, I have managed to keep my grief at bay. Finally, it manifests itself in the form of one tear trickling down my cheek. That one tear represents so much. The grief I feel at her death, the pain of losing so much. It also represents another death. The death of Anakin Skywalker, who has now died with his wife, the angel Padm? Amidala Naberrie Skywalker.

All that is left to inhabit Skywalker's body is Darth Vader. I will do Skywalker one final service in cremating his wife's body. Her ashes will be sent to Naboo and scattered over what is left of the planet.

After finishing with the former Senator Skywalker, I check what messages I have. One of my spies has seen Kenobi on Malastare. Good. This confrontation shall settle things between us both.

I turn to leave, but I cannot help but take one last look at the wife of Skywalker. Anakin is dead, but why do I still feel a pang of sadness in my heart?

I shrug it off and leave the room. I call an aide over and tell him, "Have the body in my quarters cremated and do it with care. The body is to be given no disrespect whatsoever. Then take her ashes personally in a shuttle to Naboo. Scatter them from the ruins of Theed to the mountains to the West. It is to be done in absolute secrecy."

He nods and moves off to carry out the order. He is a good man, Lt. Piett. I think I shall keep him around for a while.

I stride down the hallway to my personal shuttle. I order the pilot to set a course for Malastare.

I'm coming Kenobi. Skywalker is not here to save you now.

Original cover design by DarkATX. HTML formatting copyright 2001 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 9.31 in 166 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Vergere  (signed)
Date posted: 5/29/2001 8:12:03 AM
Vergere's Comments:

wow...that was so well written!

the emotions were captured perfectly, your characterizations were great. good job, angelqueen, no wonder this fic was accepted into the archive!

Author: Clarus
Date posted: 5/31/2001 7:53:03 AM
Clarus's Comments:

Wow. You did a really good job with this, Angel Queen. It's a very lovely story, and I think you did the Anakin/Vader duality very well at the end. Wonderful!

Author: DarkATX
Date posted: 5/31/2001 9:32:08 PM
DarkATX's Comments:

When I first read this touching story, the first thing that occurred to me was that they BOTH were fallen angels.
It's very poignant but it serves as a fitting farewell to a deeply passionate character.

Author: Naboos_Princess  (signed)
Date posted: 6/1/2001 1:25:05 PM
Naboos_Princess's Comments:

This is an awesome story, AngelQueen, good job! The emotions were very powerful, and it really moved me.

Author: Janos
Date posted: 6/11/2001 6:07:03 PM
Janos's Comments:

How sad. :(

Very nicely written.

Author: DowagerKing
Date posted: 6/16/2001 3:55:25 PM
DowagerKing's Comments:

a truly disturbing look at what is to come. very solemn but very well done. the sense of tragedy from recalling the ghosts of the Jedi Council to the "ruins of Theed," all were well done. good job.

Author: JazzyJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 6/17/2001 10:16:14 AM
JazzyJedi's Comments:

Well, I can only add to the kudos this fic has already recieved. Wonderful to see both sides of these characters. I like Qui-Gon helping out the Senator.

Good work, AngelQueen...some yummy goodies from the Crescent city for you!

Author: Padme
Date posted: 6/17/2001 3:43:56 PM
Padme's Comments:

That was beautiful(sniff sniff)
Had a great flashback.

Author: Belle Bayard  (signed)
Date posted: 6/22/2001 4:01:33 AM
Belle Bayard's Comments:

Bravo! Well done, Angel Queen. Truly poignant and believable insight into the completion of Anakin into Vader with Amidala's death. Brought tears to my eyes (at work, no less).

Author: Darth Synsister
Date posted: 6/23/2001 11:01:18 PM
Darth Synsister's Comments:

I liked the Peitt thing and it showed great emotion I cried! Also it wasn't too long for you to get bored... *cough*Burdens*cough* Whew, I need some cough syrup...

Author: will  (signed)
Date posted: 6/26/2001 4:16:04 AM
will's Comments:

To quote the Dark Lord Himself...impressive, most impressive, wonderfully written.

Author: Anaka  (signed)
Date posted: 6/27/2001 2:34:42 PM
Anaka's Comments:

I really liked this fan fic. I would recommend this to all Star Wars Prequel fans.

Author: the main man
Date posted: 6/29/2001 2:34:32 PM
the main man's Comments:

I loved this story. It made me think of what I would feel like if my own wife died. It really moved me. You are very good at conveying emotions, you might want to try your hand at what Vader felt when Luke was being struck by the Emperor's Lightning and what made him make that final decison.

Author: jedi_jp_trekfan
Date posted: 6/30/2001 8:28:13 AM
jedi_jp_trekfan's Comments:

good moving , i have thpought what it would be to write a fic from ani's point of of voiew

Author: Corran Horn
Date posted: 7/1/2001 11:24:03 PM
Corran Horn's Comments:

that was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: Kalor_Voe
Date posted: 7/9/2001 11:10:29 PM
Kalor_Voe's Comments:

Loved it! Especially the bit about the twins being Vader's last hope. That could even have been explored more- that it was the union of Amidala and Anakin that brought down the emperor.

Author: maidenjedi  (signed)
Date posted: 7/16/2001 2:59:29 PM
maidenjedi's Comments:

Very well written....this is the first fanfic I've read that handles Vader with such care, keeping his duality as Anakin in mind throughout. My hat is off to you, Angel Queen.

Author: Knightflyer
Date posted: 7/21/2001 3:45:02 PM
Knightflyer's Comments:

Very well written. The emotions were displayed very well throughout the entire story. I also think you should write another story similar to this about how Darth Vader felt when Luke was being struck by the Force lightning. Very well done!!!

Author: Mcily Nochi  (signed)
Date posted: 7/29/2001 6:11:18 PM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

Ooh, creepy! I feel like I know exactly what will come next. Very cool.

Author: Lady Kenobi
Date posted: 8/9/2001 5:27:07 PM
Lady Kenobi's Comments:

wow! This is great AngelQueen.
I was just fooling around when I saw this
and couldn't belive that I've never read it before.
Truly a wonderful piece. It was so dark,
yet so sweet. The emotion you conveyed was amazing.
I would reccomend this to anyone, but with the warning
read with a box of tissues. :)

Author: jarjarrules  (signed)
Date posted: 8/21/2001 10:58:53 PM
jarjarrules's Comments:

Fantastic, Unfortunately I fear Lucas will gloss over these emotional points in Ep 3. I would love to see Anakin grieve over the loss of himself like in this story.

Author: KC-Wan Kenobi
Date posted: 9/8/2001 9:58:13 AM
KC-Wan Kenobi's Comments:


Very well written, and I like that way Ani is just totally gone after Padme dies. The emotion is shown when Vader won't even recognize that he's Skywalker.

Author: H
Date posted: 9/25/2001 12:18:41 PM
H's Comments:

What a heart-rendering tale... One of the very few that actually made me cry. I especially loved the line about the twins being Anakin's last hope. A well-writen, fine prose that can leave no reader indifferent.

Author: Padme
Date posted: 9/28/2001 3:05:46 PM
Padme's Comments:

Very sad :( But very very nice story!

Author: KenobisGirl
Date posted: 10/14/2001 4:18:57 PM
KenobisGirl's Comments:

Whoa! Great story, but so sad! Nice job!!!!

Author: DarthSteph
Date posted: 12/25/2001 7:52:28 PM
DarthSteph's Comments:

I thought this was well written and I could definitely imagine these events happening in Vader's life. It illustrates the little bit of good that he still has inside of him and also seems to indicate that Amidala always loved him even after he turned to the dark side because she realized that eventually he could be redeemed because he still had good in him. This story was sweet and sad.

Author: Lisa
Date posted: 12/31/2001 8:41:44 PM
Lisa's Comments:

Wow! That was breathtaking! The feeling in it was so real and now I have tears welling out of my eyes. Excellent job!!

Author: JarheadJedi
Date posted: 2/23/2002 9:36:41 AM
JarheadJedi's Comments:

Well written! Now bring on the battle between Obi Wan and Anakin!

Author: Darth Foutzious
Date posted: 2/25/2002 4:45:15 PM
Darth Foutzious's Comments:

Awesome. I don't like Anakin or Padme that much, but this story is VERY good. Nice release of emotions.

Author: Vader, Lord Of The Sith
Date posted: 3/13/2002 10:59:00 AM
Vader, Lord Of The Sith's Comments:

this story truly opened my eyes to what is going to happen: EVERYONE will die. everyone but yoda and vader and kenobi and palpatine is going to die. anakin, padme, these characters are being well developed and then Lucas is just going to kill them off. A well written, disturbing story.

Author: Y-Wing Ace  (signed)
Date posted: 4/25/2002 12:19:38 PM
Y-Wing Ace's Comments:

Beautiful, sad story with some great lines.
"Across the galaxy, on two completely different worlds, two small children begin to scream."
That one gave me chills.

Author: Long
Date posted: 5/26/2002 10:05:36 PM
Long's Comments:

it made me cried ;_;

Author: Shina
Date posted: 6/9/2002 9:14:50 PM
Shina's Comments:

That was beautiful. It almost made me cry. Almost, but not quite. Came extremely close though. *ahem* You are an exelent writer.

Author: Jedi_Kara  (signed)
Date posted: 6/26/2002 4:07:01 PM
Jedi_Kara's Comments:

I loved this story. It's beautifully written. It's the second story that made me cry today. I recomend this story.

Author: UrbanJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 7/12/2002 3:46:07 AM
UrbanJedi's Comments:

Very well written story. I'm very curious to see how GL will handle this part of the story in Ep 3. We know everyone is going to die. Part of my morbid curiosity wants to see it, part of me just hopes it's implied. Hopefully it will be handled as artistically as this. Good story!

Author: Leia
Date posted: 7/15/2002 10:52:02 AM
Leia's Comments:

Angel Queen, that was sooo terrific! Awesome! It was so moving. You have alot of talent-- keep up the great work! I loved it.

Author: vader-incarnate  (signed)
Date posted: 8/2/2002 2:10:16 AM
vader-incarnate's Comments:

Whoa... why'd you do it, Ani?! WHY?!!! WAAAA! One question, totally stupid, totally irrelevant, totally breaking the mood: can Vader cry? Just wondering...

Author: Jedi_Michele
Date posted: 8/12/2002 8:06:32 PM
Jedi_Michele's Comments:

that was a wonderful story and i truly enjoyed it!
tears started to form in my eyes. i really enjoyed this piece. i liekd how she said she saw the other jedi's. great job.

Author: Ani'sFallenAngel
Date posted: 8/21/2002 2:34:15 PM
Ani'sFallenAngel's Comments:

wow...this was really good i made my friend read it i cried she cried too this was the best fanfic she ever read. she never cries over the internet. good job! nice drama

Author: jedi kevin
Date posted: 9/18/2002 11:49:25 AM
jedi kevin's Comments:

i loved this story

Author: max
Date posted: 9/19/2002 10:08:38 AM
max's Comments:

just about every fanfiction I've read is awesome!
But you are wasting your talents, write a book or something! Make some money off this stuff! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: JediWatcher419
Date posted: 11/29/2002 9:11:07 PM
JediWatcher419's Comments:

I've read this story at least 5 times and it has not yet failed to bring a tear to my eye and a tightness in my throat.

Author: jedi_anakin_lover  (signed)
Date posted: 2/28/2003 3:49:41 PM
jedi_anakin_lover's Comments:

Wow...I have tears in my eyes. And I love how you switch between Anakin and Padme. This is wonderful.

Author: Tanara
Date posted: 3/10/2003 11:12:33 PM
Tanara's Comments:

Ok, I've read wonderful angst before, but this was... wow, dude! The title realy caught my attention, and the picture of Anakin holding Padme, but what really hit me was the line, when Padme died, "Across the galaxy, on two completely different worlds, two small children begin to scream".
It hints at their Force-bond to their mother, which you never see in the movie. MR. LUCAS: Pay attention to this writer! THIS IS HOW EP. THREE NEEDS TO BE, BAH HA!!!!
Oooooh, talent I want. Wah. Hmph. *sigh* Aaaaannngggsssttt.... wonderful story!

Author: Calen
Date posted: 3/26/2003 3:36:03 AM
Calen's Comments:

Too damn sad. Yeah go kill that damn Obi-Wan! It's all his fault.

Author: sashask8ter
Date posted: 4/20/2003 8:44:39 AM
sashask8ter's Comments:

*sob* You really captured the sadness of the moment really well. Every time i read this, i cry.
This is one of my favorite fan-fics. You are so good, you should wite more!!! ( im crying right now, so beautifly writen *sob* *sob* ) i also love the trans. beetween charecters

Author: Darth_Wylie  (signed)
Date posted: 5/13/2003 6:22:00 PM
Darth_Wylie's Comments:

Extremely excellent. One of the best stories I've read so far.

Author: Tavae Themisal  (signed)
Date posted: 10/15/2003 1:24:00 PM
Tavae Themisal's Comments:

All things die. This is an excellent way to show that. Sometimes it niggles at the back of my mind that Anikin could never truly die unless the connections to his past were all gone or on the verge of doing so, her death would do well to push him over the edge thoough. Kudos

Author: Jedi_Trevor_Guldan  (signed)
Date posted: 12/22/2003 12:57:55 PM
Jedi_Trevor_Guldan's Comments:

Oh, my goodness. What a great story! Really puts home how much Ani & Padme meant to each other. Great read!

Author: I Am Mara
Date posted: 4/25/2004 12:02:13 PM
I Am Mara's Comments:

WOW, that is so good I really really loved it. Ever since I saw Episode 2 I have ayways felt some sort of sadness & compassion tward Anakin. Now thoes feelings are just five times stronger & I really really hope that, that is how it is in the movie. I feel that it is really well written & I can truley can feel his emmotion.

Author: I am Mara
Date posted: 4/25/2004 12:26:16 PM
I am Mara's Comments:

I am crying as I was reading this. actually i am still crying *wiping a tear*I totally loved it. I felt sadness for Anakin since AOTC. *sob* I can totally feel his pain & suffering. * Wiping a nother tear* I think the part that totally hit me was the line about the two small children (Luke & Leia) were his only hope & that they started to scream "across the galaxy on two compleetey different worlds two small children started to scream." I feel the twins because of the connection to bolth sets of parents, because of bolth the loss of Padme & the greif in their fathers heart. * sob*

Author: farwars
Date posted: 8/17/2006 10:40:00 AM
farwars's Comments:

i don`t know how you did that "agel qween"but is realy nice story.I like it very much is very lovely and sad story.

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Archived: Monday, May 28, 2001

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