The lift is beginning to rise, and my pulse is rising with it. I can feel beads of sweat gathering on my forehead, and I can?t stop fidgeting. I am so nervous.
My nerves are well justified though; my heart races at the thought of meeting with Padm? Amidala. Padm?, the girl I mistook for an angel when she walked into Watto?s shop, more than ten years ago. Padm?, the girl who consumes my thoughts everyday, and invades my dreams every night. Senator Padm? Amidala, whose suite I am headed to with my master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I?ve been in a dream like state ever since Obi-wan and I met with Master Windu yesterday. When we were told that we would be guarding Senator Amidala, after an attempt on her life, I could barely contain my excitement at the thought of seeing her again. My joy was short lived though, and was quickly replaced by nerves and anxiety.
Ten years! I haven?t seen Padm? for nearly ten years, save a few images on the holonet, and yet, I still think about her everyday. I still dream about the day she walked into Watto?s shop, and into my life. I can still remember what she was wearing, and how she had her hair tied up. I savour the memory of that day, and often reminisce over it when I get lonely in the cold depths of the temple. That was so long ago, it seems like a lifetime has passed since that day.
I am so nervous about seeing Padm? again, so anxious. So much has happened since I met her. Has Padm? changed since I last saw her? I certainly have. I?m no longer a slave boy on Tatooine with delusions of grandeur and a talent for fixing things; I?m now a Jedi padawan, and a powerful one at that. Besides, even if Padm? has changed, she will always be the same to me, a beautiful angel.
Of course, ours is not exactly the reunion I have dreamed of. There was an attack; an explosion at the landing platform. If Padm? had ignored her chief of security?s advice to use a decoy, she could be dead. I feel sick with worry and anger at just the thought of how close she was to death. Why would anyone want to kill someone as wonderful as Padm?? If only I could get my hands on them, then they would be sorry.
Revenge is of the dark side.
No, if I want to help Padm?, I will have to clear my mind, concentrate on the task at hand. The last thing I want is to do something idiotic and be reprimanded by Obi-Wan in front of Padm?. How humiliating! I would look like a child, and that isn?t exactly the image I want to get across to Padm?. Right here and now, I swear that I will act like a proper Jedi, and not back chat Obi-Wan.
Why is the lift going so slow? Force! Why is it that whenever I really want to go somewhere, it takes an age to get there? I could probably use the force to give the lift a bit more speed, but then Obi-Wan would suspect something, and I?m not exactly in the mood for a lecture about the misuse of my powers right at this moment.
Relax, be calm, don?t stress. I can feel the sweat still clinging to my brow as I try to brush the creases from my cloak, and adjust the way it sits; Obi-Wan is sure to notice my nerves.
?You seem a little on edge?, says a calm voice from my side.
There are times when I wish Master Obi-Wan is not so perceptive. This is one of those times.
Original cover by GaylenKenobi. HTML formatting copyright 2004 TheForce.Net LLC.