TheForce.net Select Fan Fiction Stories
Writer's Block, go away!
C3P0 & R2D2

TheForce.Net
Archive Frontdoor
FAQ

You are not logged in

Archive
Search by:
Latest Entries
Title
Most Hits
Advanced Search
Random Fiction

Features
Articles
Plot Bunnies
Writing Tips
Writing Challenges
Recent Polls
Fan Fiction Lexicon
Mailing Lists

Get Archived
Register a Free Account
Guidelines
Style Guide

The People
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Authors
The Beta-Readers
Become a Reviewer

Contact Us
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Beta-Readers
The Artists

Gungan to the left


Keep It (G)


By : leia__naberrie

Archived on: Monday, June 7, 2004

Summary:
The best choice is usually the most painful one. A few weeks after the Battle of Geonosis, back on the Lake Country villa of Naboo, Anakin and Padmé prepare to travel down another road.

The gentle breeze teased the petals of the red carnation plants, drafting their fragrance in circles of melancholy around the silent couple at the balcony as it played its bittersweet tune on the waters of the lake.

She was incandescent in white, her pale skin glowing against her dark hair, her tiny frame dwarfed beside his imposing height; his dark robes were almost indistinguishable from the surrounding night and his golden hair glinted against his tanned skin.

They held hands, fingers as intertwined as their souls. Blue eyes stared into brown, a gaze filled with such poignant expectation that the breeze quieted, stilled, the very air seeming to hold its breath for them.

She finally spoke.

"You have the chance to fulfil your destiny, to be great and glorious, and to use your gifts to do much good in the galaxy. I cannot take that away from you."

The words were said with love, and it echoed in her eyes, in the tears that stood in them.

He swallowed, forcing down the lump of panic. When he spoke, his voice was harsh.

"Padm?."

She smiled sweetly.

"It means 'flower'."

The mundane answer startled him.

"What?"

"My name. It means 'flower'in Naboo. I come from a planet whose symbols are the earth and the sea. Your name is Skywalker. You were born from the air. You were meant to walk the skies." The tears slipped, fell and her fingers were free of his.

He grasped for them but they flew out of his reach and hid in the refuge of her throat. He would have grasped for the woman herself but he knew that like her hands, she had already slipped away from him.

"Why are you saying this?" He gasped. He wanted to grab her shoulders, draw her to himself, make her feel the mortal lesions that her words were breaking open in his soul, even as she refused to acknowledge her own wounds, her self-inflicted pain.

She pulled her hands from her throat, letting one fall and reaching for his with the other. For a moment, he dared hope she had come back to him and his fist closed desperately over her palm. Then he felt the rough thread resting in softness. He looked down. He could feel his ribs closing over his heart.

"I am a Senator. You're a Jedi." Each word was enunciated with the precision of arrows aimed at a target. "It was a dream, Anakin, nothing more."

The tears were rivulets of silver on her face. Her gaze fell to their hands, to the piece of japor that hung from the worn thread.

"This belongs to you."

Like the release of an indrawn breath, the air broke its stillness. With the gentle softness of a sigh, it touched the couple, stroking their hair and lifting it, and tracking a path of pain through the tears on their cheeks.

He forced his heart to keep beating, even as he felt the despair closing in around him. Carefully, clinging desperately to the methodology of motion to give him sanity, he rested her palm against his right hand and closed her fingers around the necklace with his left. Then he released her. Their hands fell apart as their gazes returned to each other. Her eyes were brown and his were blue, but the sea of sorrow that swam in their depths sprang from the same rain.

His mouth twisted into a bitter smile.

"It was a gift. Keep it."

She walked away first, taking his soul with her, leaving him where he stood, an almost invisible figure in the empty darkness of the surrounding night and his own desolation, the same darkness that filled the hollow in her chest as she left her soul behind with him.

And still, relentlessly, the fragrant breeze whistled its sad melody.

FIN




Original cover design by obaona. HTML formatting copyright 2004 TheForce.Net LLC.


Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 7.7 in 67 total ratings.

 as:
Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Shorty
Date posted: 6/7/2004 9:08:08 PM
Shorty's Comments:

I love this story! Wow it's so very beautiful! I love the way he gives her back the jappor snippet. Really sad and haunting. Well done for a beautiful story.

Author: JediAngel
Date posted: 6/8/2004 8:58:52 AM
JediAngel's Comments:

I loved your story!! It may be short, but you can tell alot from it. Great job!

Author: Quinn  (signed)
Date posted: 6/8/2004 2:40:33 PM
Quinn's Comments:

No flaming allowed.


- Herman

Author: Barefoot Contessa
Date posted: 6/8/2004 11:00:04 PM
Barefoot Contessa's Comments:

Wow, that was sad! I really liked how you pulled parts from Lord of the Rings while still keeping it original and riveting. Anakin and Padme really seemed to be in character. Keep writing!

Author: Carpenter
Date posted: 6/9/2004 10:49:14 AM
Carpenter's Comments:

It was a nice story, but you should mention the references that you used, mainly the lord of the rings dialogue.

Author: boushh2187
Date posted: 6/9/2004 12:03:40 PM
boushh2187's Comments:

It is the standard of the archive to not include author's notes in the stories themselves, but to allow authors to use the comments section as a forum for those notes that have been omitted. The author is aware of this and I can only assume that she hasn't been online to state her author's notes here.

It is my understanding that this scene was meant as an homage to LotR without actually crossing over and in my opinion it is original enough that I didn't even realize it was inspired by LotR until I read the author's notes, which was after I read the story.

I thought this was quite a good little read. :)

boushh2187

Author: Melanie
Date posted: 6/9/2004 2:48:37 PM
Melanie's Comments:

I thought it was very cute, even though the LOTR dialogue/scenario made it too unoriginal, in my opinion.

It was weird, though, when I saw the title, I was hearing Liv Tyler's voice in my head saying the line in the movie, and I thought, "It can't possibly be a reference to Lord of the rings." And then it was. Very powerful.

Author: Stormtrooper_Shrink
Date posted: 6/9/2004 7:47:28 PM
Stormtrooper_Shrink's Comments:

"It was a gift. Keep it."

Very strong, and not at all ruined by the fact that LOTR got to it first. :) Possibly the most powerful phrase in the entire trilogy.

A very poignant piece there. I can't help but see the imagery - Padmé walking away, not looking back, and I want so much for her to turn around!

Author: rhonderoo
Date posted: 6/12/2004 8:51:41 AM
rhonderoo's Comments:

Great what if story! You have a gift for prose. Not being a LOTR fan, (and having suffered through the books and not remembering anything that looked similar to this!), I didn't even catch any similarities. I really liked your take on this!

Author: Reihla
Date posted: 6/13/2004 10:43:59 AM
Reihla's Comments:

This is a beautiful scene and more poignant, IMO, because it echoes the source of its inspiration so beautifully. It almost gives me hope that things could end as well for Anakin & Padme as they did for Aragorn and Arwen. Almost...

Author: Jedi Keladry
Date posted: 6/13/2004 6:34:20 PM
Jedi Keladry's Comments:

I love it. Bravo for having the guts to write this!

Author: Anita
Date posted: 6/14/2004 2:40:47 AM
Anita's Comments:

I liked it don't get me wrong and your a good writer but to me, that sounded way to Much, almost exatley like a conversation Aragorn and Arwen have about the Eldar necklace in The Two Towers of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Author: marajaded
Date posted: 6/15/2004 10:52:44 AM
marajaded's Comments:

It was a really good story....i like the way you related Anakin and Padme to Aragorn and Arwen....
but i just cant get my head around Anakin saying "It was a gift, Keep it"...all i can hear is Liv Tyler saying that.
but that probaly my fault since how i have all the lotr movies memorized....
but it was a wonderful story...i just wish Anakin and Padme could end up like Arwen and Aragorn did...:(

Author: Amanda Skywalker
Date posted: 6/18/2004 8:34:08 AM
Amanda Skywalker's Comments:

Lovely piece...but isn't it basically a Star Wars version of the scene The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers where Arwen gives Aragorn the Evenstar pendant?

Author: Jason
Date posted: 6/18/2004 9:51:37 AM
Jason's Comments:

It was good, but I would have to say it is definitely alternate universe material. By the time of the wedding, they had settled the business of his being a Jedi and her being a Senator. If they broke up immediately after the wedding, no Luke and Leia. However if she was still pulling this crap with him, it would make his transition to Darth Vader even less his fault.

Author: felipeg
Date posted: 6/18/2004 1:39:12 PM
felipeg's Comments:

It's nice, but sounds a lot like lord of the rings, the two towers.

Author: Ben
Date posted: 6/19/2004 3:34:44 AM
Ben's Comments:

It would be fantastic if there was a sequel to this story. Would be nice to see how that changes what happens in that possible future. Maybe Padme's action would have kept Anakin on the straight and narrow?

Author: starwarsfan
Date posted: 6/20/2004 4:01:54 PM
starwarsfan's Comments:

I agree with felipeg. Your story sounded way to much like Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers when Aragon gives back the necklace but Arwen says to keep it since it was a gift.

Author: starwarsfan
Date posted: 6/20/2004 4:02:01 PM
starwarsfan's Comments:

I agree with felipeg. Your story sounded way to much like Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers when Aragon gives back the necklace but Arwen says to keep it since it was a gift.

Author: Jedi Knight Quia Lor  (signed)
Date posted: 7/7/2004 7:33:11 PM
Jedi Knight Quia Lor's Comments:

I really enjoy your writing, Leia, but...(yes, I'm sorry there's a but)

Not this one.

It would've been an exceptional piece had it not connected so strongly to the conversation between Aragorn and Arwen.

Looking back, this was nice. The connection of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and Lucas's Star Wars bridges two of my favorite worlds. The quote made me smile.

Perhaps, next time stay closer to your own originality? :)

May the Force be with you,
Quia

Author: solojones  (signed)
Date posted: 7/17/2004 11:26:28 AM
solojones's Comments:

That was really sad. I couldn't figure out what she was going to give him, but when you revealed it was the japor snipet, I got chills. A mix of sad and haunting. Nicely done.

Author: Archangel
Date posted: 7/20/2004 8:21:28 PM
Archangel's Comments:

I don't care if it was taken from LoTR, it was handled well and I loved it. Good job!

Author: Padwen Evenstar
Date posted: 8/20/2004 8:05:57 PM
Padwen Evenstar's Comments:

Great story but i have an impression that some of the lines came from the Lord of the Rings between Arwen and Aragorn.

Author: Amidala Skywalker
Date posted: 8/25/2004 2:28:34 PM
Amidala Skywalker's Comments:

Good job!

I really liked this piece because you used lines from one of my other favorite movies, the Lord of the Rings. I love all fan fics with Anakin and Padme and find myself reading them over and over again. You should definetly keep on writing more fan fics, and make them longer too!

Again, good job!

Author: me_luv_darth_squishy
Date posted: 3/13/2005 12:39:35 PM
me_luv_darth_squishy's Comments:

goodness gracious. im sorry, but i cant hear anakin saying it was a gift keep it...i think that is totally arwen and lord of the rings. good story, but i have to admit i really only like it in lotr.

mtfbwy


go lotr and sw

Author: someone out of the blue
Date posted: 7/23/2005 3:31:31 PM
someone out of the blue's Comments:

cool...but to short to be toooo enjoyable. You should add a little more in--not leave us hoping for you to carry on when you won't be.

Author: leia__naberrie  (signed)
Date posted: 2/1/2006 1:05:15 AM
leia__naberrie's Comments:

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it.

Yes this vignette and the whole idea of an Anakin/Padme seperation was inspired by LotR. I thought the inverse similarities were too much to be passed over - the fact that Anakin/Arwen are more than human (one a Jedi, the other an elf), that Padme/Arragorn are somewhat royalty, and then of course, the Evenstar/japot snippet talisman in both romances.

Once again, thanks to everyone that dropped feedback.

Author: saberbabe
Date posted: 2/8/2006 5:42:57 PM
saberbabe's Comments:

wow. that one really hits you hard. I nearly cried! but its beautiful.


Add a comment about this fan fiction

Comments to leia__naberrie or post it in the Jedi Council Fanfic Forum.
Archived: Monday, June 7, 2004







DISCLAIMER : TheForce.Net and its Fan Fiction associates do not own any content posted on this web site.