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Gungan to the left

But (G)

By : Diane Kovalcin

Archived on: Monday, February 18, 2002

Qui-Gon Jinn is dismissed from the Temple but why will surprise you.

Chapter 1

Force, I'm tired.

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon Jinn leaned back against the wall and sighed, heavily. Tired, bone-tired, fatigued, worn out, exhausted, I wonder how many words there are for just plain tired. He sighed again, feeling the air pass through his lungs, soothing him and listened to the silence.

It was quiet in the Temple hallway, the lighting subdued. It was almost peaceful enough to sleep right there but Mace Windu had wanted to talk. And so Qui-Gon waited patiently outside of the Jedi Councilor's private office until Mace could see him, using these few moments to catch up on some much needed rest.

His mind began to wander as the minutes dragged on and Qui-Gon drifted closer to sleep. Why Mace would want to talk was a puzzle. The report on their latest mission had been given this morning and, although there were plenty of questions, the Council seemed satisfied.

Probably there's another crisis and Mace just wants an immediate rescue by the Great Jinn. He chuckled sourly. My, aren't we full of ourselves. But he sobered quickly, thinking back over the past month.

This last mission had been a disaster right from the start. He and Obi-Wan had just returned from trying to avert yet another diplomatic upheaval, exhausted in mind and body, needing desperately to rest, when they were hauled into the Council chambers and told to go stop a war. They had arrived on Scalous with scant preparation, still worn and tired when the whole thing exploded literally in their faces. Barely off the Republic cruiser, they were pelted with blaster fire, bombs bursting around them. Racing through the streets, fighting at every turn, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were finally able to reach the so-called peace talks only to find most of the delegates dead. After that, it had been a nightmare of staying alive while trying frantically to get some semblance of order. Nothing worked and, at last, Qui-Gon realized the futility of further action and called the Jedi Temple. They were picked up the next day. The Council was not happy about the results. For that matter, neither was Qui-Gon.

"Not our finest hour," he murmured.

Moving slightly to get more comfortable and wishing for someplace to sit, Qui-Gon wondered what was taking Mace so long and then let his thoughts drift again. He was so tired. The missions seem to be getting rougher. Or it could be the fact that I'm almost sixty and have been running and fighting most of my life. At least, Obi-Wan seems to recover quickly. Oh, to be that young again. He chuckled wearily.

A moment later, Mace's door slid open and out stomped a very angry Jedi Knight. It was Ales'tka, a slightly-built older woman, well known for her prowess with the lightsaber and gentle diplomatic skills. Qui-Gon knew her slightly, passing one another over the long years, but was astonished to hear her shouting. Shouting at Mace.

"You haven't heard the last of this, Windu. How dare you treat me this dare you." She growled in fury and turned to storm off. Not looking, she crashed right into Qui-Gon Jinn. Seeing his puzzled face, she burst into tears. "Oh, no, not you, too". With that, she pelted off down the corridor, sobbing.

Qui-Gon turned to follow her, hoping to offer some comfort, but Mace said, "Let her go. She'll be alright." And he motioned Qui-Gon into his office.

Chapter 2

"Take a seat." Mace's voice was subdued. As he sat down behind his desk, the Jedi Councilor couldn't quite look Qui-Gon in the eye. A slight tickle of concern flitted across Qui-Gon's face as he eased into the only other chair in the room. It was still warm. Obviously, Ales'tka had been sitting in this very spot for some time.

Qui-Gon knew that he needed to speak up now before Mace tried to talk him into yet another mission. He had to be firm this time for his sake and for Obi-Wan's as well. He leaned forward, capturing Mace's attention.

"I just wanted to tell you that I can't agree to any more missions for a while. Obi-wan and I are both exhausted and need some time to refresh ourselves. A vacation or retreat for at least a month. The Council, as you know fully well, has been assigning us to constant missions for the past year and a half and no breaks in between. I doubt that we have spent two days at the Temple in all that time. Frankly, Mace, you know what the field is like. You can't keep sending out teams that are exhausted even before they leave. It is not effective and can lead to great mistakes in judgment. I'm serious, Mace. At least a month."

At first, Mace Windu was astonished by what he was hearing. But running through the gamut of emotions from confusion to sad to stoic left his face shuttered and drawn. He finally put up his hand to stop Qui-Gon.

"Qui-Gon Jinn, that is not why you are here. We will not be assigning you any missions."

Qui-Gon interrupted him, a slight admission to his fatigue and leaned back in his chair. "Glad to hear it. Obi-Wan needs to complete his final studies for the Trials in six months and fieldwork is not helpful in that area. So why did you want to talk to me then?"

Mace's face drew even more closed and unhappy. He lowered his eyes for a second and then raised them, frustration and pity and resolve flitting across his face. His voice was firm.

"Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, as per the Senate Appropriation Jedi Finance Edict, we have to reduce the number of Jedi Knights at the Temple by ten percent. Due to your poor record in the past year, the Senate oversight committee has designated you as one of those to be discharged."

Qui-Gon frowned, confused. "Discharged? What are you talking about?"

Mace grimaced. "We can no longer financially support all of the Jedi. We will have to turn away over a thousand knights to live life as they can, away from the Temple. Unfortunately, because of your failures recently, you were chosen to be one of those to be released."

"But... " Qui-Gon looked thunderstruck, incomprehension and confusion mirrored in his eyes.

"Qui-Gon, I had no say in the matter. The Senate Oversight committee looked over all the records of the last ten years. In the past year alone, your team has failed its mission twice."

"But, out of twenty-one missions, twice is more than acceptable."

"I agree wholeheartedly but the Committee does not. Any failure is considered grounds for dismissal. I am truly sorry, Qui."

"But... "

Qui-Gon was stunned. The Temple was his home, his family, the only life he had ever known or wanted. And now he was being told to leave. It was incredible. It couldn't be true. It was some ghastly joke. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Qui-Gon just sat there, mouth open, eyes unfocused as Windu continued. And his words kept coming, garbed, nonsensical. What was Mace saying? He couldn't focus on what was being said. The words came out confusing, and almost without sound. He frowned, leaning in, and tried to listen more carefully.

"You will be given a severance package consisting of two weeks pay for every year of service after you became a Knight. You will also receive your pension in a single sum. You will be given three sets of clothing befitting a civilian and a one-way ticket to any destination you choose." As he spoke, Mace was placing items on his desk, a thick packet of paper, a credit chip and a passage ticket. "The clothing is in your room already. Please leave behind your Jedi garb. You will not be allowed to wear it or perform the duties of a Jedi Knight when you leave the Temple. If you do, the Order will have to take action. You must leave behind your lightsaber as well. It is four o'clock now. You have until nine o'clock tonight to vacate the premises. Do you understand?"

It was quite a while before Qui-Gon realized that Mace had finished talking. He blinked several times to brush the tendrils of confusion and anger beginning to surface. He shook his head and frowned at Windu.

"I don't understand. What Finance edict? Why are you turning me out of my home, cutting me off from my family? What about Obi-Wan?"

The Jedi Councilor was no coward. He had faced death more times than he could count but he hated doing this to one of his best friends. So he took the painless way out and answered the easy question first.

"Qui, I know it's been a few dozen years since we took Galactic Finance class but the principle has remained the same. The Jedi Order has always been financed mainly by donations but over the past hundred years, the donations have been slowly declining and more and more of the credits needed to run the Order have come from the Republic Senate. The Senate now pays for sixty percent of our expenses, mostly for services rendered. They are demanding the right to check our financial situation and make the Order more efficient. There were several subcommittees formed to investigate where and how the money is dispersed. This year, the Senate passed bills insisting that we reduce our expenses."

Qui-Gon shook his head, still stunned. He leaned further in towards Windu, anger lining his face. "How dare they? They do not listen to the Force's will. They are bureaucrats with no knowledge of how or why we exist. What is going on?"

Mace sighed. "I agree but the Order must comply with the wishes of the legal government. They have threatened to cut off all credits if we do not accede to their demands." He sighed deeply, despairing of doing this yet again but he had no choice. "We have tried everything to cut expenses. The heating and lighting were reduced, the food became simpler, the classes are larger, some of the gardens were allowed to die or turned to food production. More missions were placed on fewer Knight/Padawan teams because it was cheaper. We have done everything possible to reduce expenses. There is nothing more we can do but to let people go."

" is this possible? What about the children, the Padawans? What about Obi-Wan?" The confusion in Qui-Gon's mind remained. The numbness blossomed, threatening to overtake his thoughts and turn him into something deadened and mechanical. He just sat there, unable to move, unable to think, unable to.... "What about Obi-Wan?" he demanded, anger rising anew.

Mace avoided the more difficult question a second time. "The children will continue to be taught as they always have. The Senate can do nothing there since the parents and the Order sign a contract when the child is given up. We must continue to care for them and train them until they succeed in graduating to a full time position as Knights, healers or some other profession. After that, they will be evaluated each year and either continue in the Order or move on."

"But, this is unbelievable. We are servants of the Force, not some non-profit organization that caters to the whims of the bureaucrats. And you haven't answered me. What about Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon's face hardened.

Mace sighed again. "Obi-Wan will take his trials next week. We are sure that he will pass easily and become a full-fledged knight. As a way of reducing expenses, he will be required to take a Padawan immediately and go out on missions as quickly as possible. He will not be allowed to contact you for at least six months and, of course, you will not be able to contact him."

Qui-Gon leaned forward again and began shaking his head, more and more angrily, his hands grasping and ungrasping as though to throttle the Jedi Councilor. Not allowed to see my Padawan. Not even to go through the Knighting ceremony.

He began to mutter and growl at Windu, the fury rising. "Not allowed to see him. NOT ALLOWED. How dare you do this? It's bad enough that you have taken away my life, my home but you are taking away the child that I raised. I love my apprentice, he is my family and now I can't even see him. How could you?"

Mace lowered his eyes and sighed yet again. "Qui, it's for his own good. You are angry and likely to get angrier before this is all over. You can't let him be dragged down with you. It was hard enough getting the Senate committee to see reason about just letting you go. He was part of your team and they wanted to get rid of him as well. Back off, Qui-Gon. Do what is best for Obi-Wan. Accept this, please."

Mace's voice was pleading, trying to cut through the thick fog surrounding Qui-Gon's soul. He couldn't comprehend what was going on, the words again tangling in his confused mind. The fury had abated, leaving him numb and depressed. What am I going to do? He shook his head, slowly. Do what the Force wills as always. But the Force was strangely silent, and he was alone.

Qui-Gon got up from the chair, slowly as though he were a thousand years old, and turned to leave.

Mace Windu spoke softly, "Qui, I need your lightsaber now."

Qui-Gon nodded, unhooked the saber he had built with his own hands so long ago and looked it over carefully, memorizing the look and feel of it. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard, and handed it to Mace. There were unshed tears clouding his vision when he opened them again.

"Mace, I will always be a Jedi, until the day I die. A Jedi is not defined by clothes or wielding a lightsaber or rescuing people. The Senate cannot dictate who is a Jedi. The Order cannot dictate who is a Jedi. Only the Force."

Mace spoke again. "Yes, Qui-Gon. I know."

As he again turned to go, Mace placed the discharge papers into Qui-Gon's trembling hands and whispered a final farewell. "If it's any consolation, I will be leaving tomorrow."

Qui-Gon shot him a quick pitying look. "Goodbye old friend." And left Mace's office for the last time.

Chapter 3

Qui-Gon walked slowly back to his quarters. He heard nothing, saw nothing, the thoughts running around and around in his fogged brain. Leave my home. Leave my life. Leave... leave... leave... The echoes hurt his heart, the pain only now beginning to blossom in him. How can I leave this place? When the door to his apartment unexpectedly materialized in front of him, Qui-Gon was taken aback. He had no memory of how he had gotten there.

He started to go in but then hesitated. Once past that door, he would have to pack his few belongings and never return. Worse, he would have to tell Obi-Wan what had happened. Suddenly, Qui-Gon dreaded the coming emotional storm. He wasn't ready to hurt Obi-Wan but he knew that he must. Breathing deeply to rid his mind and body of the anger, despair and exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him, he tightly controlled his emotions and opened the door.

It was a letdown but Obi-Wan, thankfully, was still asleep. Qui-Gon sighed. He knew that he was avoiding the final confrontation but he turned into his own room and began to pack. It didn't take long. Qui-Gon was never one to collect "things" but he had a few items, a drawing from Obi-Wan, a cup from Tahl, a rock or two from previous missions with his Padawan that were too precious to leave behind. He looked at the clothes on his bed. They were typical civilian attire, not ones that he would have chosen but the choice had not been his. He began to strip off his Jedi garb, lingering on each piece, remembering the past. Again, his anger surfaced and he pressed hard to bury it. Now was not the time. At last, the Jedi robes, tunics and all that he had worn lay on a pile on the floor.

Let them pick it up he thought bitterly. I need to get clean and clear of this place

He showered and changed into one of the garments on the bed. He had chosen at random, not caring. To Qui-Gon, they were ill fitting, pulling at the arms and legs, scratchy and uncomfortable. He thought darkly Get use to it, Jinn..., his mouth hardening I'm taking the boots! He packed the rest of the clothes in his bag and closed it. Such a small container for so long a life. The depression was threatening to overwhelm him again, but rather than give in to it, Qui-Gon moved to the table in the sitting area, sat down and started to look through the dismissal papers.

He was not happy with the results. The "pay" that a Jedi received was mostly in food, clothing and shelter at the Jedi Temple. A small stipend was usually granted to all for additional items. When he calculated the total sum of his severance pay and retirement, he was aghast to find that it was so paltry. The whole of it wouldn't even pay for six months rent on the mid-levels of Coruscant. Perhaps, it might buy a small farm in the Outer Territories but nothing closer. A Jedi never needed to think of money; everything was provided so that he could concentrate on the Force and on the missions. Now, Qui-Gon needed to think of what to do next. He couldn't live on this, not here. He rested his weary head in his hands and softly groaned.

Chapter 4

A small sound made him start and turn. Obi-Wan was leaning in the doorway, yawning.

He sounded exasperated as he asked, "Master, did you get any sleep at all? You know you need to get some rest." He stopped and looked more closely. "Why are you wearing civilian clothes? We have another undercover mission?"

Qui-Gon avoided the questions. "Padawan, sit by me, please."

Obi-Wan looked at him and sat down, frowning. "What's going on?"

Qui-Gon smiled slightly. He loved his Padawan very much, as a beloved student and remarkable friend. He would miss him terribly but the truth was ripping, tearing at Qui-Gon's heart. Tell him now.

"Obi-Wan, I have some good news for you. You will be taking the trials next week. When you have passed them, as I am sure you will, the Council would like you to take a Padawan learner immediately."

Obi-Wan's face lit up. He leaned forward happily, grinning, "Next week... Oh, I'm ready, Master. I'll make you proud."

"I am already proud of you, Padawan. Trials do not need to tell me that you will make a great Jedi Knight."

Obi-Wan smiled even more merrily. "When you cut off my braid at the Knighting ceremony, I'll remind you of that..." He stopped, grin suddenly gone and looked at Qui-Gon, perplexed. "Master, what's wrong?"

Qui-Gon's face had gone pale and something in his eyes died. He whispered, "I won't be there, Obi-Wan."

"What... What do you mean, won't be there? Of course, you....are they sending you on a mission alone?" His Padawan frowned. "Is that why you are wearing those clothes?"

Qui-Gon sighed wearily and shook his head. "I won't be there because..." His throat tightened so much that he could scarcely speak. "They are turning me out of the Order. I have to leave tonight, never to return."

"But...why?" Obi-Wan's voice crackled with astonishment and confusion. His frown deepened.

The Jedi Master laughed bitterly. "They ran out of money."


Qui-Gon shook his head again. "They have been using Republic funds to help defray costs of the Order. They are now being forced to economize by the Senate or else lose all funding. And they can't afford to do that right now." He sounded more bitter than before. "They have sold their souls for a few credits."

He stood up and began to pace. "They are dumping about a thousand knights, discarding them to live as best they can. Oh, we are given a few thousand credits for leaving but it is not nearly enough to live on, especially here." He stopped and looked at Obi-Wan with tears in his eyes. "They took my lightsaber, they took my Jedi garb, they took my calling and worst of all, they took away my Padawan."

Obi-Wan reached out and gripped his Master's hand, still confused. "You aren't making any sense. How can they take me away from you?"

"Padawan, I am not allowed to contact you again."

"What!" Obi-Wan's anger was almost palpable.

"If, after six months you wish to speak with me, you will be allowed to. However, I don't think that is a good idea."

"Master, you are not making sense again. Why shouldn't I?" His anger was fraying into confusion.

"They are punishing anyone who fails even once." Qui-Gon placed his hand upon his Padawan's shoulder and smiled slightly. "I know that you will not fail. But they may think that you are tainted by my failures or my defiance of the Council's orders. You can't afford to contact me."

"I don't care about that."

"But you must think about it. I will leave word with my brother. If, after the time allotted, you still want to speak with me, he will know where I am. But, Obi-Wan, I will understand if you do not." Qui-Gon's eyes filled with tears again. "I will understand."

Obi-Wan stood quickly, his mouth pinched in disbelief, his eyes defiant. He reached down and grabbed his Master's shoulders, shaking him. "Well, I don't. Master, you must fight this. It isn't right. They can't do this." The Padawan's words came fast and furious. "Fight them. You must."

"Obi-Wan, it is already too late."

"No, no..."

"Yes, Padawan. Too late by far. Not for me, I will be alright." Qui-Gon smiled slightly, trying to give encouragement and defusing Obi-Wan's anger. "But for the Order, it was too late the day they acquiesced to Senate jurisdiction. The day they put credits over the Force and rewarded loyalty with dismissal. They have brought fear into the Temple, Padawan, and trust is now gone. It's too late."

"No," the apprentice whispered. "It can't be."

"Accept this, please," Qui-Gon's words echoed Windu's earlier statement. Maybe Mace understood better than I thought.

"No." Obi-Wan's face was dark with anguish as he shook his head.

"Padawan, help me. Do this one last thing. It is time for me to go. Escort me out."

Obi-Wan nodded and then flung himself into Qui-Gon's arms, hugging him fiercely, trying not to cry. Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around his apprentice in a enveloping embrace, trying to memorize this moment, warm in the love of the only family he had ever really known. They remained like that for a while, unable to let go, wanting to make it last forever. But nothing lasts forever. Qui-Gon drew a deep breath and shook his Padawan loose.

"Come, Padawan. It is time."

"But where will you go? What will you do?" Obi-Wan tried to make the moment last just a little longer.

Qui-Gon picked up his bag and opened the door. One last look and then he turned towards the exit, breathing deeply as the weary weight of this day settled onto his shoulders. He called back to Obi-Wan, "Coming?"

"Yes, Master."

"Just to the exit door of the Temple. No further."

"Yes, Master."

"I will be alright. I might become a bodyguard or a bouncer in a dancehall."

"Or a pirate..."

Qui-Gon laughed at that. "Yes, my young Padawan, or a pirate.

And suddenly, there they were, at the exit of the Temple. Qui-Gon dropped the bag and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan one last time. "Be strong, Obi-Wan. You are my strength and my joy. Watching you grow into the Knight you will become has been an honor. Remember me."

Obi-Wan laughed quietly, "How could I forget? Who else would give their Padawan a rock for their birthday?"

"Who else indeed?" Qui-Gon smiled and whispered. "Goodbye. And may the Force be with you." He picked up the bag, went through the door, not looking back, trying not to hear Obi-Wan's voice catch as he whispered back, "Master, the Force will be with you always."

The Temple door closed behind him.

And Qui-Gon Jinn was alone.

Turning to look at the home now forbidden to him, Qui-Gon Jinn was overcome with a wave of exhaustion and regret. Slumping down onto the stairs, he drew his legs up and curled into himself, wrapping his arms around his torso and letting his head rest on his knees.

Tears crept down his face as he muttered, "Force, I'm tired." And then, with his resolve crumbling and the loss overwhelming him, Qui-Gon whispered, "What am I going to do now?"

He sat there a long time. Then, knowing that he couldn't stay, Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, rose, picked up his bag and walked slowly away. His footsteps faded little by little and finally, the night was quiet.

The End

HTML formatting copyright 2001 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.4 in 101 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Darth Foutzious
Date posted: 2/18/2002 8:28:55 PM
Darth Foutzious's Comments:

Let's see, um, good story, but, uh, WHY WHY WHY WHY and WHY again?! I *really* like this fic. REALLY! But why make it so sad? You know, it needs a sequel. Yeah. I think a sequel would make it all much better. There you go! Right a sequel, and it won't seem so sad. A sequel will be like some kleenex. :)

Author: Ki-Adi Mundi
Date posted: 2/19/2002 7:02:25 AM
Ki-Adi Mundi's Comments:

Ok, this is a good story, but as with many Star Wars stories, they are in many parts, rarely alone. I agree with the previous comment, it needs a sequel, mostly because it appears to take place BEFORE 'The Phantom Menace', where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are together again. Perhaps this seperation is not a permanent one. Perhaps it is by way of testing both master and apprentice for a greater destiny in the Jedi order, and Obi-Wan is in on it.

Author: Gotmilk
Date posted: 2/19/2002 1:41:02 PM
Gotmilk's Comments:

Excellent story, but yikes. Price cuts? lol I'm thinking sequel here... Oh come on, you know you want to. :)

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 2/19/2002 3:22:04 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

Thank you for your wonderful words. It is always encouraging to find people that actually read the story.
I must apologize if it wasn't clear. This story is alternate universe so Qui-Gon would not be returning to the Temple by the time of TPM. (I did click the AU button when I submitted the story but it must have gone astray). Sorry...

As for a sequel, everyone I've shown this story to seems to have the same reaction - sequel. But, as with life, stories don't always have a happy ending. Look at TPM! Qui-Gon dies - how much sadder can that be? So let our hero go into the darkness and remember him - a Jedi to the last.


Author: Saria
Date posted: 2/20/2002 10:06:24 AM
Saria's Comments:

This story made so much sense I started laughing!

Old Palpy's getting rid of the Jedi through the Senate!

Ohhh.... this is brilliant.....

I think it needs a sequel too. Like he moves to Tattooine and finds an apprentice who's a slave in Mos Espa...

Author: Jetfiespam
Date posted: 2/20/2002 11:37:50 AM
Jetfiespam's Comments:

It was a good story, but it seemed to borrow heavily from "For the Record" by Quiller, without going into the same depth. "For the Record" was also more sad and tragic, and had the benefit of almost fitting in Star Wars Continuity. Still, a good effort, and the idea of layoffs and cost-cutting procedure in the Jedi Order is a nice touch.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 2/20/2002 2:37:16 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

I agree that Quiller's story "For the Record" is wonderful and, in my opinion, one of the best stories on this archive.
However, there was no borrowing. I wrote "But" before I had ever read Quiller's (I posted my story to another archive at about the same time as Quiller posted hers here). I agree that the similarity of the hero being forced to leave the Temple is the same, but the approach, reasons and results are quite different.I guess it depends upon your point of view.

Thanks for letting everyone know about Quiller's work. She's great.

Author: patch  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 2:14:51 AM
patch's Comments:

i think this story was brilliant, and very well written. jedi cost cutting lol.
There should be a sequel where qui gon joins a union that encourages all the jedi to go on strike until management reinstates the redundant jedi.
maybe include some anti-unionist jedi who cross the picket line to safeguard there own jobs, lol

Author: Zahn_Matrix  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 6:48:53 AM
Zahn_Matrix's Comments:

Wow. I've cycled through about a dozen fanfics so far, and this is the best one I've read yet.

And oh yeah...SEQUAL!

Author: Mcily Nochi  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 9:55:54 AM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

A very well written story. It was perfect is most ways, except that I found the premise a bit shaky. Part of what I love about the Jedi is that they have a very strong sense of loyalty and togetherness. I can't see them breaking that, even if the Senate tells them too. Though perhaps that was the point you were trying to get across, that the Jedi had decayed so much they would abandon their own. Perhaps it was best Qui-Gon left in that case, and should have taken Obi-Wan with him.

Author: ESPayne
Date posted: 2/21/2002 1:24:16 PM
ESPayne's Comments:

I thought the story was cool. I expected more anger from Qui Gon, though. I can't believe he would leave his Jedi robes. I think this could continue into a story of Jedi banding together to overthrow the corrupt government. This could be a reason that Palpatine could pull off the Jedi Purge, with public support. Also could be a reason for so many storm trooper garrisons and Star Destroyers in the galaxy. They could have been put there to protect the public from roving bands of Jedi terrorists. I've always wondered how the Jedi were killed off. The people would have to WANT them gone. Sorry this got so long! I really just meant to say I liked your story! Thanks!

Author: KenobisGirl
Date posted: 2/21/2002 3:29:51 PM
KenobisGirl's Comments:

*Sob* How sad! I didn't quite expect Qui to just give in. I thought he was going to try his hardest to fight... Great story, and it's just crying for a sequel!

Author: Belle Bayard  (signed)
Date posted: 2/22/2002 4:04:44 AM
Belle Bayard's Comments:

Excellent. Yes, it does beg a sequel, but I bow to the author's decision. With the decay of the Jedi, I could see the Senate telling the Order they must cut back on personnel. After spending twenty years in the Navy, I've seen this happening before. So, while the Jedi are considered by some a religious order, they must have some financial obligations to the government (perhaps like the Knight Templars in not so merry old England). I don't the author could have ended it any other way but the way she did. Job well done. And if you [b]do[/] decide to do a sequel, I certainly wouldn't object. :)

Author: Thaltos
Date posted: 2/22/2002 9:41:48 AM
Thaltos's Comments:

Quigon is Downsized!!! Bummer...Been there. Done that. Great Fic. Much like the Ronin Samurai of feudal Japan. Although they were allowed to keep their swords.
I think a sequel is in order, perhaps where quigon builds a new sabre and becomes a mercenary, yet still upholding jedi ideals.
Thanks for the time!!

Author: Lai-Gonns
Date posted: 2/24/2002 3:30:26 AM
Lai-Gonns's Comments:

Cool fic! Well written, fast paced, and you got the characters just right...

But I agree with everybody else: Sequel!!!...Even your title suggests it. "But" about a sequel titled "but what?"...Nevermind that lol!'s very good...Keep it up

Author: Sinlock-Shad-dow
Date posted: 2/25/2002 7:16:54 PM
Sinlock-Shad-dow's Comments:

Most of the people covered what I would have had to say.
All but one thing.
Were was Yoda during all this. Being that all the Jedi at one point in there lives learned under Yoda. He is no were to be seen during this.

Expecily if Mace is going too. (Or did I miss read that) "If it's any consolation, I will be leaving tomorrow"

Also it is 100% up to the reader to see any hidden meaning into the "Discharges"

On a lighter note....I loved "I'm takeing the Boots"

Author: Quiller  (signed)
Date posted: 2/28/2002 12:11:54 PM
Quiller's Comments:

For some reason, I love reading the comments on other authors' fics, not just my own. Imagine my surprise when I saw my name mentioned here. :-)

Diane, you already know I like this story. I enjoyed it the first time I read it, and it was a good read the second time, as well. Except, I laughed more this time around. Not because of the story, but because of the idea - so original, and so plausibly ludicrous that it truly was ... funny. The story itself was wonderfully written, and as you pointed out, is quite different from mine in tone and particulars. Way to go.

Author: jetfirespam
Date posted: 3/2/2002 12:40:09 PM
jetfirespam's Comments:

My apologies on implying that Diane plagarized in any way from "For the Record". I am such a Sith, focusing only on the negative side of things and allowing the Dark Side to take control. I'm working on that, really, and I've managed to limit the number of Jedi who stab me each month down from 12 to an average of 6.

One of the more interesting aspects of the story was seeing Qui-Gon's reaction to being expelled from the Jedi Order, considering how much of a rogue he has been throughout his career. I have no doubt he'll do well on his own, and I really don't think a sequel necessary.

I like Diane's ability to put us in Qui-Gon's shoes, without resorting to 1st person narration or even stream-of-consciousness style passages. The audience is successfully given a look at the situation from Qui-Gon's perspective, without being cut off from the various other characters. A very nice job.

One more criticism I have though, is for the title. In my opinion, "But..." would have been a much better title than "But". Those three little dots can make a big difference...

Author: UrbanJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 3/5/2002 6:33:14 AM
UrbanJedi's Comments:

I really liked this story. I'm sitting here at work, crying like a 12 year old girl with a skinned knee. Not really, but it was really good. Thanks for sharing.

Author: Livia Starkiller
Date posted: 3/7/2002 2:51:59 PM
Livia Starkiller's Comments:

*Tears stream down my face* How could you do such a thing? How could you send Qui-Gon out into the galaxy without a sequel??!!! I do understand your reasons for not posting a sequel though..part of me still screams for a follow up! Qui-Gon is one of my favorite Jedi and it hurts me to see him fired.
AT least we can look on the bright side.... Darth Maul cannot get a hold of him on Naboo anymore, can he? He may live a happy long life as a pirate..or a ballroom dance instructor...whatever!! Great Fanfic!

Author: starpuff
Date posted: 3/10/2002 10:53:53 AM
starpuff's Comments:

You people are so sad! Why do you write sad stories? (Even though I liked it!) Write a sequal! PLEASE!

Note: Some one should write one about Anakin leaving the order for or because of Padame!

Author: Fett42
Date posted: 3/19/2002 7:36:32 AM
Fett42's Comments:

Excellent story! No complaints! I do think a sequel would be nice, to show how he either survives or gets back into the Temple, yet it is not necessary. The title drew me in, although I agree that a "..." after would have made it better. Yet most of all, I liked the way you hinted back at the beginning at the very end -- or was that hinting ahead at the beginning? -- when Qui-Gon repeats the same thing at the very beginning and in the last paragraph. A simple technique, but an effective one.

Keep up the great work!

Author: Darth Sheep
Date posted: 3/23/2002 1:24:56 PM
Darth Sheep's Comments:

One word, two syllables:

Author: JustMe
Date posted: 4/8/2002 12:02:47 AM
JustMe's Comments:

Were you recently downsized..? Read like you had a similar experience in the first person. So Qui-Gonn hooks up with Windu and starts a consulting agency catering to planetary governments directly and later hires jedi away from the temple? This could be interesting. Keep up the good work.

Author: padawan jabitha
Date posted: 5/16/2002 6:26:47 AM
padawan jabitha's Comments:

cool story of jedi to civilian, but how does qui-gon-jinn go from civilian back to jedi? the others suggestions are right. this DOES need a sequel. namely how qui-gon becomes a jedi again.
but the story is still good.

Author: Ivy
Date posted: 5/29/2002 8:50:41 AM
Ivy's Comments:

This was kinda sad and the even sadder part was that it made sense the whole cutting budget stuff. Never once though about how they got money to do the stuff they do if it's for free (their service)
I disagree, this doesn't need a sequal. It's sad and touching and a sequal would change that.

Author: darthwebb
Date posted: 6/3/2002 11:24:30 AM
darthwebb's Comments:

moremoremoremore what happens next ?

Author: Obi-wan's Admirer
Date posted: 6/4/2002 4:57:01 PM
Obi-wan's Admirer's Comments:

You definatly need a sequel, for Obi-wan's and Qui-gon. Think of there feelings! Perhaps, as suggested before, make it a test where the Jedi Counsel wants to test the bonds of master and padawan. Have Obi-Wan leave the temple, supposedly on a mission, and have him go to Qui-gon! Then the Jedi Counsel will go after Obi-Wan, make them run into each other in the temple, where the Counsel threatens not to make Obi-Wan a jedi knight. Then Obi-Wan will feel torn, but in the end have him swear his devotion to Qui-Gon, even if it means leaving the Jedi Order.

Author: Palpatine
Date posted: 6/15/2002 5:18:16 PM
Palpatine's Comments:

This is a pretty cool story. I never knew Jedi got pension checks... damn them

Author: Lau-ra Anu
Date posted: 6/18/2002 8:24:39 AM
Lau-ra Anu's Comments:

That was awesome! Everyone else is asking for a ever you spell it... anyway, everyone else has been asking for one, and I want one too! I think that Qui-Gon should end up on Tatooine, and train Anakin. Someone probably already said that, but that's what I think.

Author: Nad-To Ann, Jedi Master
Date posted: 8/1/2002 4:45:53 PM
Nad-To Ann, Jedi Master's Comments:

Um...really great story't you think that...well, it REALLY NEEDS a sequel? Seperating Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon forever is so sad. I mean, a year, maybe, but FOREVER? Please write a sequel! PLEASE?!

Author: force master
Date posted: 8/5/2002 2:45:17 AM
force master's Comments:

i really liked this story! it was really sad, but very clever! i disagree about the sequal for 2 reasons. first, because since it was an AU i think it is fine the way it is. Plus, i dont think there is enough to make a second story without sounding lame, as most sequals are. but i think the ending could have been better if it informed us what would happen. what was it that qui chose to do? did obi pass? things like that. that is why everyone is screaming sequal! ;)

Author: Christy
Date posted: 8/13/2002 3:47:23 PM
Christy's Comments:

Way Way Way to sad and kind of well mournful.I don't think I like it at all because I love the character of Qui-Gon and that is as bad as him dying.

Author: fiona
Date posted: 10/26/2002 12:34:08 PM
fiona's Comments:

WOW.This was a really cool story.I was sucked in straight away.I just kept reading down the page and came to the words "the end" and it took a while to sink in.I guess thats just really good storytelling when u dont want the story to end.Im sure u could hear me screaming from wherever u are when i realised i had really finished it.Im going to be different and say not write a sequal.It will drive me mad to never no what happened but it is an ending and a damn good one!Dont ruin a good thing!

Author: Darth Hunter
Date posted: 10/27/2002 5:21:04 AM
Darth Hunter's Comments:

It was a great story, yes, and i really liked it. But it needs a sequel. Sure Qui-gon die in PM, but Obi-wan and Anikin lived. It was a beggining, even if there was a end to Qui-gon's life.
Great story.

Author: ewanobiwan  (signed)
Date posted: 1/2/2003 1:47:26 PM
ewanobiwan's Comments:

This was a really good story. Really sad too. I loved it though! I agree with everyone else, what this really needs is a sequel(sp?)! lol. But you did a great job and I thoroughly enjoyed this little story.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 1/7/2003 4:21:38 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

Okay, okay, everyone. I've finally given in. I am currently writing a sequel but it will be some time before it is finished (it's up to 45 pages and only at the midpoint right now - I'm a very slow writer). When it is done, I will try and get it into the FFA but can't guarantee anything since this is a juried site and the judges have final say (as is proper). If you want to read what I've written so far, let me know and I will send you the URL.

Thanks for all of your comments. They've really been great!


Author: hmmm...
Date posted: 1/17/2003 11:51:17 PM
hmmm...'s Comments:

i did not like this story...too sad...WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE?!

Author: Ray Kenobi
Date posted: 2/22/2003 9:51:35 AM
Ray Kenobi's Comments:

I think this story was a little too much because of the way Qui-Gon goes, there is no heroic kind of sense to him as there always was in every story i've read of him. When it says in the story that Mace tells Qui-Gon to give up his lightsaber Qui-on would be able to build another lightsaber. so that did not really do anything to help the story, and well i just think that it was harsh to not let Qui-Gon watch Obi-Wan pass the trials to become a Jedi master. Apart from the things i just criticized i think this was a good book and you have the potential to be a good writer if you wanted to pursue it.

Author: Tanara
Date posted: 3/12/2003 9:56:05 PM
Tanara's Comments:

You didn't <i>say</i> why, but you also didn't need to: Palpatine's influence over the senate was strong even before he was elected Supreme Chancellor. He was charismatic, enigmatic, and overall: Easily believed. He would want the Jedi to be diminished to add ease to his insidious plan to take over the Republic, so he would probably influence (with the Dork-- I mean, Dark Side) the Senate to order the Council to cut back. Am I right? Wonderful angst ;-)

Author: Nemesis  (signed)
Date posted: 3/26/2003 11:38:50 AM
Nemesis's Comments:

Nice work. I agree with the rest. SEQUEL!!

Author: fortytwo03
Date posted: 4/14/2003 7:23:35 PM
fortytwo03's Comments:

Poor Obi and Qui! And such a good job of taking an unlikely premise and turning it into a very believable story. Definitely the beginning of the end for the Jedi Order - maybe it's all for the best that Qui-Gon got out when he did.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 4/15/2003 4:16:41 AM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

For those who are interested, the sequel is currently being written and is posted (as soon as I write it) on the fan fiction boards. I can't do links for anything.
It's on "The Saga Forum" as Betrayal by dianethx. Hope you enjoy it.


Author: Senator Leia  (signed)
Date posted: 6/15/2003 8:42:50 PM
Senator Leia's Comments:

<Sob, sob, sniff, sniff> How sad!! great but sad we need a sepuel!

Author: DarthyVader
Date posted: 7/21/2003 10:34:18 AM
DarthyVader's Comments:

Well, I've been waiting for a year for this sequal. And it was the will of the Force that I stumbled over the part-sequal on that web site. Please, I am begging you. finish the sequal fast. When you ask for Beta-readers, just say that it is the sequal of 'But', and i guarantee you, the Beta-readers will come in droves, on their hands and knees, begging you to let them Beta-read it! I am doing that right now. I am dieing to know what happens!

Author: Madie
Date posted: 8/16/2003 2:43:21 AM
Madie's Comments:

Very well Written But sad *out of interest What Type of rock did Qui-gon Give Obi-wan?*

Author: Port
Date posted: 8/26/2003 6:47:05 AM
Port's Comments:

Talented writing. But I keep waiting for the punch-line. It reads like a humor piece, except for the end. The effect is jarring and disturbing. Maybe it's a parable for contemporary corporate culture?

Author: Kate
Date posted: 10/21/2003 5:42:45 PM
Kate's Comments:

Y'know, on a funny note, some friends of mine and I went to the premier of the Two Towers movie dressed as the Nazgul (the nine Black Riders, for any non-Tolkien freaks out there). Unfortunately, there were only five of us. We blamed the discrepancy on budget cuts in Mordor.

Hee! Thumbs up to a great story line, to great characterization (I cried over Qui-Gon's line about the Jedi selling their souls for a few credits), and to all-around fantastic storytelling! Woot!


Author: kriÁ
Date posted: 2/26/2004 1:02:53 PM
kriÁ's Comments:

Sorry, but I don't speak english very well (I'm French...) !
I fand this fiction great and I'm sad there isn't any following episode... It would be perfect !
I like the stories which deal with the time when Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon's apprendice, and I think this one is the most original ! congratulations to the writter; But I agree with the fact it would be better with a happy end ( a lot of fictions are sad...)

Author: dianethx
Date posted: 4/16/2004 7:26:59 PM
dianethx's Comments:

I hope that the URL works. Here's the place to find the sequel to "But". I'm still working on it but it's already 140 pages long! Enjoy.

Author: Ani-maniac  (signed)
Date posted: 11/27/2004 12:45:33 AM
Ani-maniac's Comments:

I know a lot of people are saying this story is sad, But I found it hilarious!!!!!! It had both me, and my mom (She calls herself Darth Mom) laughing! To me it is such a funny idea that the Order would dismiss Jedi because of budget cuts, especially ones as talented as Qui-Gon and Mace Windu. I also have to say that I loved the idea of Qui-Gon saying that he'll keep the boots :) It was very good and so original. I hope to read the sequel! I also noticed that Madie asked what type of stone Qui-Gon gave to Obi-wan. Qui-Gon gave him a Force sensative stone from the River of Light located on his home world. (Although Qui-Gon never said what the name of his home planet was.) If you want to read more, you can read about Obi-wan and Qui-Gon's adventures in the Jedi Apprentice series. Technically they are "young reader books" but they are VERY GOOD. This particular story is found in book #3. I hope this answers your question :) May the Force be with you!!!

Author: jabba  (signed)
Date posted: 2/9/2005 5:56:29 PM
jabba's Comments:

i like that fan -fic quite alot but it was really sad. i kept thinking it would go on for longer where like when Obi -Wan becomes a knight and is sent on a mission and meets his master or somthing like that. and yeah like most people said SEQUEL! it really needs one.


Author: me_luv_darth_squishy
Date posted: 7/5/2005 6:11:41 PM
me_luv_darth_squishy's Comments:

You may not believe it but I am crying. That is all that I can and will say.


Author: Kat
Date posted: 11/14/2005 2:24:50 PM
Kat's Comments:

i agree. definatly need a sequel. (my eyes are burning....)

Author: DarthIshtar  (signed)
Date posted: 1/15/2007 12:20:25 PM
DarthIshtar's Comments:

I'm trying to read all of the fics at the archive and this came up on my random fiction hit today. I laughed at a lot of it, but you left so much unresolved and it felt unsatisfactory. I take some issue with any fic written to prompt a sequel. Anyway, it was funny anyway.

Author: Persephone_Kore  (signed)
Date posted: 2/3/2007 7:46:36 PM
Persephone_Kore's Comments:

Layren told me to read this, but I didn't get around to it at the time. I found it again and didn't figure out it was the one she'd been talking about until I was partway through.

The reviews are almost as interesting as the story, what with the differences in reactions -- tears and laughter and frustration. I can see why people wanted a sequel so much; I actually often like reading/writing stories that set up a cusp or change-point even if they don't follow out the extended AU, so continuing doesn't strike me as *necessary* and I can see why you originally meant to stop here -- but this setup and change definitely raise the question of how the saga-era events would play out. Or rather, what would happen instead, since this not only alters the Jedi and their involvement but seems to reflect a substantial difference in Palpatine's strategy.

Layren told me I should read "Betrayal," too, but while the concept here is certainly interesting for a short visit I suspect I'd be exhausted by an extended stay. I wish you well throughout it though. :)

(And yeah, the defiant bit about keeping the boots was prime. Funny in a painful way.)

Author: SugarBant Jinn  (signed)
Date posted: 2/8/2007 11:06:47 PM
SugarBant Jinn's Comments:

I loved this one! i've also read its counterparts, and i have one question: WHY HAVE'NT YOU FINISHED IT?!?!?! it's a great story! well worth finishing! if you have, can you please let us know where it's archived? :)

Author: jarogue
Date posted: 8/20/2008 1:00:50 PM
jarogue's Comments:

Way to make me cry, girlfriend. Make a sequel where he comes back. I'm starting to cry tears on the keyboard and now I'm going to get electricuted. .....BWAWAWA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Sizzle pop steam.
Oooooo. Thanks a lot. Bury me... in hayden christensen's lawn... {death rattle}

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Archived: Monday, February 18, 2002

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