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Gungan to the left

The Other Half of My Soul (PG)

By : Mcily Nochi

Archived on: Monday, February 18, 2002

Tahiri's thoughts after the events of Star By Star.

My soul. The other half of my soul is gone. He was ripped from me as surely as if my own heart was ripped out of my chest. My soul is tortured and crying.

They took his life away - I can't feel him - he's gone. Gone! No, he can't be! He is my life, my love, my ... my ... my Anakin.

There is still a space for him here in my heart. Why won't it fill up, why leave an ugly, empty void to remind me hour after hour of what used to be there? How could he go and leave me with this pain?

He should have gone into a trance! He should have! I would die protecting him while he healed, as he died so I could get away. It is unfair, stupid! Stupid Anakin! You idiot! You could have survived, if only you had swallowed your pride and let yourself heal like we told you. You always have to be the hero, saving others, sacrificing yourself. Fool! You did not save me! You left me here to die, alone in the dark, with a gaping hole in my heart.

The Yuuzhan Vong will pay for this. The Vong, the Vong! Forget what they believe - no one is blessed who would take my angel away from me. My Anakin.

Why didn't I kiss him good-bye? Maybe he could have withstood the inevitable, the creeping cold of death, if he had the memory of my lips against his to warm him. I should have kissed him good-bye. Now I'll never get the chance.

Oh, stop the pain! I am ripped open, I can't think or feel! I can't cry. I should be crying for him, crying my heart out, but I can't. I can't! Did the Vong do something to my eyes to stop the flood of tears that my heart wants to pour out? Curse them, I must cry for Anakin, let my grief flow away on a tide of tears.

What am I saying? I will never let go of my pain! It is all I have left of Anakin. He's gone. He's gone. Maybe if I say it enough my heart will realize the truth and seal itself back up. He's gone, he's gone!

Where is he when I need him? His love would fill up this void, this emptiness, in less than a second. How could he leave me? How could I leave him? Why did he have to die? Why, why, why?!

If you wanted to be a hero, Anakin, you should have stayed alive. You killed me when you left, I am dying without you. I will never, ever heal. Never! I won't let myself! This pain is all I have left! Your absence is the only remnant of your presence in my life.

I love you! How could you leave? You left, you sank back into the Force, the sleep of death.

Wake up, Anakin! Wake up, my love! It's time to go home now, we can leave this nightmare. But you are already home. You left, and you forgot to take me with you.

Let me kiss you one more time, Anakin. You memory smiles at me, but you are gone. Gone. Gone. I'm sorry, Anakin. I didn't kiss you when I had the chance. And now you are gone, and you'll never be able to claim the kiss you deserved.

Let me cry, let me scream, let me die. You can't hear me anyway. Nothing will bring you back.

The other half of my soul is gone. My soul.

I love you.

HTML formatting copyright 2001 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.55 in 80 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Corran
Date posted: 2/20/2002 10:08:19 AM
Corran's Comments:


Author: KenobisGirl
Date posted: 2/21/2002 3:33:47 PM
KenobisGirl's Comments:

*Sob* That was stunning! Beautifully sad! Great job!

Author: Argent Jedi  (signed)
Date posted: 3/5/2002 1:07:09 PM
Argent Jedi's Comments:

*sniff* that was wonderful. All my memories from Star by Star weren't as good as this.

Author: Qwi_Xux  (signed)
Date posted: 3/5/2002 2:14:52 PM
Qwi_Xux's Comments:

Mcily!! In case I haven't told you, I love this! It's soooo can feel Tahiri's pain so deeply when you read it.

Author: Sondra Neal Skywalker
Date posted: 6/19/2002 4:21:37 PM
Sondra Neal Skywalker's Comments:

I loved this story! I know, it's not exactly the right topic to like to read about, but I feel that they should have written more in the books about the reactions of those who loved Anakin. I mean, sure, Leia cried and everything, and Jaina turned to the Dark Side momentarily; but nothing really about Tahiri or anyone else. It was truely beautiful.

Author: Leia Organa Solo
Date posted: 6/20/2002 11:58:27 AM
Leia Organa Solo's Comments:

Increadble!!! *sob* my little boy is dead... I couldn't help from tearing up when I read it in the books and this just brought tears to my eyes again. Great job of catching the emotion of Tahiri's loss. Keep writing!

Author: Ceriah Fett
Date posted: 6/24/2002 8:09:47 PM
Ceriah Fett's Comments:

he dies?!?!?!? aw man, that sucks. iam really behind on reading those books. gee, and in my fan fic (it should be out sometime this summer) is about how aniken falls in love with a bounty hunter (guess who!) even after that other girl tore out 'his' other soul after the vong killed 'her'. sort of ironic eh? well it was really intresting (ur story) i sort of understand the vong better now thanks!

Author: UrbanJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 7/4/2002 1:35:37 AM
UrbanJedi's Comments:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are an awsome writer. This story has in part inspired a new story I have just written called "From the Ashes." I truly hope you enjoy it.

Author: Shadow69
Date posted: 10/25/2002 11:20:13 PM
Shadow69's Comments: word...WOW!!
im not normally an emotional person and ive been reading alot of these relationship fics....this is the 1st to actually bring tears to my eyes.
i really hate the Vong cuz i loved anakin...i read lyk all the young jedi books just to see wut happened btwn him n her...n tehn.....THIS!...
y cudnt lyk...chewie n anakin live?!....damn the vong!!!

Author: spidyredneckjedi  (signed)
Date posted: 1/20/2003 12:49:42 PM
spidyredneckjedi's Comments:

i'm sorry, but I don't get what's so impressive about this piece of writing... it's covered very well in the books and the discoherentness of the piece adds nothing to the emotional sting the books provided me... In my mind, this story could deal better with examples of how her life will be changed, how she feels instead of the constant stream of thought writing, how this will change her in the future... there are several ways it could be improved, but right now I'd have to say this is a subpar piece of writing.

Author: GVNuggetUdx
Date posted: 1/24/2003 8:57:31 PM
GVNuggetUdx's Comments:

Great. Normally, I'm not a fan of fan fictions, but this is great.

Author: Bundy
Date posted: 2/17/2003 6:33:00 AM
Bundy's Comments:

Nice, short work. It really illuminates the emotion that Tahiri is going through, the sorrow, despair, and hatred. These are very very powerful and common emotions in someone who has lost a friend or loved one. The eternal question WHY????? Is a powerful force for anyone's pysche. My only question is; What will Tahiri do in book to of the Force Heretic series?

Author: Jedi_StarDust  (signed)
Date posted: 2/17/2003 12:14:55 PM
Jedi_StarDust's Comments:

Nice vignette. Heart-wrenching and powerful in emotion, I felt that it expressed Tahiri's anguish very well. I liked her internal struggle against herself, and also the bitter realization that someone she loved dearly departed from life.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 2/17/2003 8:28:42 PM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Holy cow! *sob*! Absolutely stunning. This voices exactly what I would feel if my love was taken from me. This is amazing, inspiring, heart-wrenching, and just all around REALLY GREAT!! Keep up the good work!


Author: bobill  (signed)
Date posted: 2/18/2003 2:16:10 PM
bobill's Comments:

I like how this vignette is different from others. It really shows what Tahiri is feeling, not what she is thinking deeply for... It's easier to relate to. Great viggy, Mchily!

Author: Tavae Themisal
Date posted: 2/19/2003 1:22:19 AM
Tavae Themisal's Comments:

I liked it. It has hit on the very thing that I have been trying to get across in my own fic. I really apprecitae good stories that involve Tahiri. Great work and keep it coming.

Author: JediPug1  (signed)
Date posted: 2/27/2003 9:03:52 PM
JediPug1's Comments:

Just recently finished Star By Star, so this one really hit me! I was shocked about Anakin dying, and I could really feel Tahiri's grief through you writing. Well done!

Author: Jedi Knight Safira Felan
Date posted: 4/9/2003 9:05:57 PM
Jedi Knight Safira Felan's Comments:

Great story!The emotions you've describe Tahiri as having lead perfectly into Force Heretic 1. Good job! Keep writing.

Author: I'm Mara
Date posted: 4/18/2004 5:58:37 PM
I'm Mara's Comments:

*Sob* *wipe a tear* WOW you did an excelent job showing emmotion. I rally feel her pain. It makes me miss Anakin that much more & have even more sympathy tward her. i reallt really loved it.

Author: Arren Terrilon
Date posted: 8/4/2004 8:18:24 AM
Arren Terrilon's Comments:

Frick, you people make the characters
very good story

Author: Kalak Rafgnose
Date posted: 10/29/2007 8:45:37 AM
Kalak Rafgnose's Comments:

This was a brilliant story, very sad, heart wrenching. I LOVED IT!!!!

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Comments to Mcily Nochi or post it in the Jedi Council Fanfic Forum.
Archived: Monday, February 18, 2002

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