No matter what I do...
I turn my head to the right...I turn my head to the left...I close my eyes...I still see their faces...
Anakin...How you must've hated me, when I separated you from Amidala. At the time I believed that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my code, and I couldn't understand why you didn't see that. I've grown to realize that I was in the wrong about that one.
Forever burned into my mind...
The look of pain in your eyes as I cut off your hand when you forced me into battle. The look of fear and anger as you locked eyes with me as you fell into the molten pit. The lust for vengeance as you crawled inch by inch out of the pit with a dark cindered body and the heart to go with it. Determined to destroy me the next time you meet your old master.
Amidala...After the duel with Anakin, when I walked up to you and handed you his lightsaber...I didn't have to say anything. You just knew. The disbelief in your eyes was evidence enough. Anakin Skywalker was gone. I thought you were going to faint, when you grabbed hold of me and clung to my chest. I needed Master Yoda's wisdom at that moment, to say something inspiring to help, but the words wouldn't come. I did all that I could. Just held you.
I was with you when you were in labor. I was there to deliver your children for you. I'll never forget what you told me as you held a child in each of your arms. "If Anakin could help create something this perfect, then there had to be some good left in him."
I want to believe that. But after everything's that happened...
Leia...I was there when you were born. I held you in my arms and saw the same strength and power in your eyes that I saw in your mother's. I remember the sad look on your face as I picked up Luke to take him away. The quiet sob, as you tried to cling to your brother's arm. Somehow, you knew he wouldn't be coming back. The Force was very strong with you.
And strong in you, Luke, from the moment of your birth. Somehow you knew that I wasn't your father. As I started to carry you away to your new home, and Leia began to cry, you just looked at her and almost immediately, she stopped crying. You two could communicate before you could even talk. Your eyes told her that this had to be done and that one day, you would reunite again. You really were the son of "the Chosen One."
Yoda...I should have listened to you, Master Yoda. You told me that you sensed that there would be danger during his training. And Qui-Gon...I failed you, too. You trusted me to train the boy. I failed where you and Master Yoda had succeeded.
What was it that kept me from seeing the dark side growing inside him?
All the pain that has been thrust upon the galaxy. The extinction of the Jedi Order and the children at the Temple...destroyed for wanting to grow in ways that made them special from others. There are so many things that I could have done better.
If only I had been a better teacher for Anakin.
If only I had better taught him the consequences of the dark side.
If only I hadn't been so sure that I could do as fine a job training Anakin as Master Yoda and Qui-Gon had done with me.
But all the "If onlys" in the galaxy won't change a thing. It's all too late for that now. I can't look back. I have to be strong for Luke. And Leia.
Master Yoda and I...the last of the Jedi...have one option left. Isolation. To ride for twenty years the line between survival and extinction in hopes that Vader and his Master can be destroyed by the only ones who will have the power. His children.
In this new life ruled by the Empire, everything that we had held close to us is gone. All things I had known no longer matter. Except for one truth. The one definite in a universe of maybes.
I stand alone.
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