Select Fan Fiction Stories
Writer's Block, go away!
C3P0 & R2D2

Archive Frontdoor

You are not logged in

Search by:
Latest Entries
Most Hits
Advanced Search
Random Fiction

Plot Bunnies
Writing Tips
Writing Challenges
Recent Polls
Fan Fiction Lexicon
Mailing Lists

Get Archived
Register a Free Account
Style Guide

The People
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Authors
The Beta-Readers
Become a Reviewer

Contact Us
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Beta-Readers
The Artists

Gungan to the left

Confessions (PG)

By : JadeSaber

Archived on: Monday, November 4, 2002

A look at Padme's thoughts, just before she lays it all on the line and confesses her feelings to Anakin.

I've been trying to deny my feelings for you since the day I saw you again for the first time. I know I must have sounded silly saying, "My goodness, you've grown." What else would have happened in ten years? I was so flustered that I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Your presence affects me like no man's ever has before...

... like no other man's ever will.

There's something about you that speaks to my soul, and when I look into your eyes, I feel like I'm home. You've captured my heart and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like I'm not in control of myself, and that terrifies me.

This is wrong...

I keep telling myself that it's wrong; that I shouldn't feel anything for you but friendship, and I keep trying to deny my feelings, but the more I deny them, the stronger they grow.

How can something that feels so right and so natural be wrong? For anyone else, in any other situation, the answer would be "it isn't."

But for us, it is.

Our lives belong to other people. We both made vows that we have to keep- I to Naboo and you to the Jedi. I can't break my vow, and I can't ask you to break yours.

I can't...

And yet, in spite of those vows, I've felt myself falling in love with you more and more every day, and my love for you is tearing me apart.

The kiss you gave me that afternoon beside the lake still burns in my memory. If I close my eyes I can relive it; it all comes racing back to me in an instant: the delicious shiver that coursed through me as your fingertips grazed my skin, the way the sound of your voice in my ear made my heart race, the feel of your lips gliding tenderly across mine, the scent of your sun-warmed skin, and the heat of your breath whispering across my cheek...

Breaking that kiss nearly broke my heart.

This is wrong...

The more I try to deny my feelings for you, the stronger they become. Turning you away that night by the fire was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around you and lose myself in your embrace. My heart screamed for me to agree to the secret life you suggested, even knowing that it wouldn't be right.

We'd be living a lie.

Hiding in the shadows.

Sneaking around after dark.

I want more than secret trysts and stolen moments. I want to be able to declare my love for you out in the open- shout it from the highest rooftop on Coruscant.

So instead of following my heart and confessing my love, I listened to my head, and I turned you away.

I keep trying to convince myself that our relationship is wrong, that I shouldn't have these feelings for you. That I can't fall in love with you...

I can't...

And yet, everything is different now. As I stand here waiting for death, I find that I'm not afraid of my feelings anymore. I'm not afraid of what anyone will say or think, and I don't care about the vows we made.

None of that is important now.

The only thing that matters anymore is that I love you; and I don't want either of us to die before I tell you how much.

Original cover by Cereth. HTML formatting copyright 2002 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.82 in 72 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Darth Lothi
Date posted: 11/5/2002 9:59:00 AM
Darth Lothi's Comments:

Congrats on this, Jade. Great story - you showed us a part of Padme that I thought was sorely missing in the movie. This is one of the best portrayals of Padme I've read - a great take on the character's thoughts and actions.

Author: Jen
Date posted: 11/5/2002 7:07:32 PM
Jen's Comments:

Jadey!!! I loved this the first time I read it, and still love it! Your insight into Padme's character is absolutely amazing! I love it!

Author: Mcily Nochi  (signed)
Date posted: 11/12/2002 5:48:50 AM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

JADE!!! WOW!!!

I find myself sitting here exactly the way I was when I started reading (minus one box of kleenex) and staring at the screen. There is so much depth in this story, so much strength of heart and will. This inner strength is an integral part of Padme's character, yet not everyone manages to convey it with such quiet passion.

Absolutely gorgeous.

Author: JediJessika
Date posted: 11/13/2002 12:08:51 PM
JediJessika's Comments:

Wow, Jade, that was great. You portrayed Padme's character perfectly, exactly as I would have pictured her to be. Excellent Story!

Author: Caecil Xenn  (signed)
Date posted: 11/17/2002 9:26:56 AM
Caecil Xenn's Comments:

I quite enjoyed the way this story conveyed what Padmé was feeling. I had imagined how she truly felt during the moments mentioned in the story, but never have they been as crystal clear as Jade Saber conveyed. This is truly remarkable and lets me know how accurate your interpretation of her feelings are.

Author: Jedi Master Nol-Tel-Sete
Date posted: 11/27/2002 12:30:43 PM
Jedi Master Nol-Tel-Sete's Comments:

I read your writing, I loved it as I loved the orginal scene in the movie. It is very well writen and I believe that you caught the level of termole that she was feeling during the scenes in the movie.

Author: BarissaOffee
Date posted: 11/27/2002 12:34:37 PM
BarissaOffee's Comments:

Hummmmm, Well, Padme's portrail:good, The fact that I'm head over heals for Hayden will cloud my judgement, true, but well writen i suppose. Glad you submitted it though Jade.

Author: waheennay
Date posted: 12/7/2002 1:50:46 PM
waheennay's Comments:

I liked this little fic a lot. Padme's depiction in "Confessions" is really on target IMO. I honestly think that her character is the heart of the Prequels and am glad you portrayed her thoughts so well Jade!

Author: Cody Lover
Date posted: 4/2/2003 6:11:28 PM
Cody Lover's Comments:

I saw every word of this story in Padme's eyes in EPII. I very much enjoyed it. Thanks

Author: Rock
Date posted: 7/27/2011 6:41:27 PM
Rock's Comments:

Thanks for witnrig such an easy-to-understand article on this topic.

Add a comment about this fan fiction

Comments to JadeSaber or post it in the Jedi Council Fanfic Forum.
Archived: Monday, November 4, 2002

DISCLAIMER : TheForce.Net and its Fan Fiction associates do not own any content posted on this web site.