Select Fan Fiction Stories
Writer's Block, go away!
C3P0 & R2D2

Archive Frontdoor

You are not logged in

Search by:
Latest Entries
Most Hits
Advanced Search
Random Fiction

Plot Bunnies
Writing Tips
Writing Challenges
Recent Polls
Fan Fiction Lexicon
Mailing Lists

Get Archived
Register a Free Account
Style Guide

The People
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Authors
The Beta-Readers
Become a Reviewer

Contact Us
The Editors
The Reviewers
The Beta-Readers
The Artists

Gungan to the left

Found and Lost (PG)

By : Aunecah_Skywalker

Archived on: Monday, February 24, 2003

Everyone has to make hard choices at some point in their lifetimes, but Padmé has to make perhaps one the most difficult decisions. This is just a small introspection 'fic that deals with her emotions as she spends her last day on Naboo.

Padm? Naberrie Skywalker sat on the short flight of steps surrounding the fountain, her eyes closed, listening to the hypnotic music of the trickling water. She had been a onetime queen of Naboo, and later its senator; but now that it came down to her last day on her beloved homeworld, she found herself as far away from the royal palace and Theed as she dared, taking refuge in the beautiful gardens near her hometown. As if to the choreography of the fountain, the air around her resonated with the raucous singing of the many birds that had made these gardens their home, but strangely enough, Padm? knew that she would rather listen to these birds than to an orchestra of the most talented musicians.

Her own feelings remained a paradox to her.

She couldn't leave the gardens, though not for the lack of trying. During the past few days, she had tried to pretend that the gardens didn't exist, tried to find something to occupy her mind, but in the end she had always kept giving in, always kept coming back here. Padm? knew why she felt the way she did, of course. The beauty of the gardens soothed her soul temporarily, but it only threw her deeper and deeper into an abyss of pain and despair.

Only days, or even hours, remained before the clone armies would arrive and destroy her world, and there was nothing she or anyone else could do about it. Her love for her Naboo was as unquestionable as her loyalty, yet she was unable to act according to either.

Padm? was leaving Naboo in the time of her greatest need, and looking at the lush forests and the beautiful gardens only reminded her of what she was doing. There was nothing left that she could do even if she stayed, and Padm? knew it, but she still couldn't stop the guilt from overwhelming her. Perhaps that would be a fitting end: to die with her people when the Imperials came and attacked, and she would have done exactly that. If not for her children.

Leia and Luke Skywalker. Her eleven-day-old children.

She could face the Emperor without a shudder, and she could even fight her husband, Anakin Skywalker, or Darth Vader, as he now preferred to be called; but she could not stand the thought of her children dying. Padm? would do anything to protect them, even forsake her own home. And that was exactly what Padm? was doing.


Her husband.

Padm? sighed in despair. No, Anakin, her darling husband, had died a long time ago, leaving only an evil Dark Lord of the Sith in his place.

During the many months of her pregnancy, Padm? had envisioned a happy life for Luke and Leia, a life that was filled with toys and love, from both of their parents. Padm? could hardly say that she had led a normal life, for even from when she had been very young, she had strove to become a politician, an ambassador for her people. She had become Queen Amidala at the age of fourteen, and her life had gone haywire, almost dysfunctional, since then.

The year and a half she had spent with Anakin after their marriage was priceless, and that was one part of her life that she would never regret. Then they had started fighting, for their views often conflicted. Even from the beginning, Padm? worried that Anakin was slipping to the Dark Side, and she had attempted to shout some sense into his eccentric brain, but it had not worked. And now Anakin was a fallen Jedi, a Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine's apprentice.

Anakin had chosen his fate, and he had ended up exactly where he started: a slave.

Padm? knew Anakin didn't realize it yet, but he would. He would realize that he had once again become what he hated the most, and the day the realization dawned upon him, he would regret the choices he made, wish that he had done many things differently. But by then it would be too late.

Weary and tired, surrounded by guilt and grief, Padm? pushed herself to her feet and trudged down toward her home, the house in which she and Anakin had stayed during the two years before he had left her. She promised herself to never come back here, to the gardens, again, and she had a strange feeling that this time she would keep her promise.

No, she would not come back here ever again because she could not.

To her surprise, she found Obi-Wan Kenobi waiting inside when she entered. Apparently, Sach?, Padm?'s sole companion nowadays, had let him in. Obi-Wan must have sensed her approach, for he looked at her even before she spoke. The person she had been expecting to be here, Sach?, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen; Padm? assumed she was with the children.

"Master Kenobi, this is a pleasant surprise," said Padm? dully, somehow not surprised at all.

"It's been too long, M'Lady," said Obi-Wan, rising from the chair in which he had been sitting. He was holding a drink that looked hardly touched. Padm? wondered how long he had been here.

"You can dispense with formality, Master Kenobi," said Padm? sighing. "I resigned from my post nearly six months ago."

She hadn't been very happy about it, but it had been necessary.

Padm? liked to find solutions herself, but she knew when to give up and ask for help.

All those months ago when Padm? had at last confided in Obi-Wan about her marriage to Anakin and the fact that she was pregnant, Obi-Wan had not been very happy. Actually, Obi-Wan had been very angry, if his face had been any measure, but the anger had passed quickly. Obi-Wan was ironical but, when it came to certain things, he was as predictable as a Hutt. Padm? had known that Obi-Wan would neither betray her nor her children, just as she knew that he would find someway out of the mess she had gotten herself into.

Obi-Wan had suggested that she resign her post as a senator, for walking around with her stomach bulging would lead to awkward questions.

"What have you decided?" Padm? asked, getting to the point.

"The question is what you have decided, Padm?," said Obi-Wan softly.

Padm? didn't answer immediately. Obi-Wan didn't pressure her; After all, he was a Jedi and had a bottomless pit of patience to draw upon.

"Tatooine is no place for a child." Padm? had been to Tatooine twice, and she didn't have many fond memories of that planet. She remembered her visits quite starkly, as if from a different lifetime. The planet was a bitter wasteland, unbearably hot and mercilessly dry, where the wretched scum and villainy of the galaxy roamed freely. She would rather let Luke die here than let him live there, lest he should fall in wrong hands and become a monster like his father ... like his father had become.

Obi-Wan seemed to know what was going on in Padm?'s mind, because he said, "I will take care of him, M'Lady. You have my word, whatever that may count these days."

"I know you will, Obi-Wan," said Padm? softly, "but.... Why can't I take him to Alderaan with me and Leia?"

"It will be difficult to conceal both their presences from Vader when they are together, M'Lady," Obi-Wan explained patiently, "especially when they are young, and their Force-senses are so feral. It is best if they live on two separate planets. Tatooine is scarcely populated, Padm?," he added with a sigh, nearly before the thought even occurred to Padm?, "and it would be the last place Vader would come looking for Luke."

Ironic, perhaps, that the safest place in the galaxy was in the midst of danger.

"Will you be raising him?" Padm? asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Again, too risky." Something came over his face, but Padm? couldn't quite figure out what it was. "Owen and Beru will make better parents," he added in a low voice.

A blanket of silence fell upon them, a silence in which Padm? and Obi-Wan each stared at a comfortable spot somewhere in the room, rather than at each other.

"We should leave now, M'Lady," said Obi-Wan finally, breaking the silence.

Nodding, Padm? headed to her children's bedroom, where Sach? was putting them to sleep. Sach?, the last of her loyal handmaidens, Leia's future "mother." Obi-Wan took Luke in his arms, and Sach? took Leia in hers. The handmaiden, the senator, and the Jedi walked out of the room and toward the hanger bay at the end of the street, in which their respective ships were docked.

"I will leave now, then, Padm?," said Obi-Wan just before he left to his ship.

"I only wanted a family, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan didn't answer. "May the Force be with you, M'Lady."

"And with you, Master Kenobi."

Original cover by Cosmic. HTML formatting copyright 2003 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 9.36 in 182 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Lady Padme  (signed)
Date posted: 2/24/2003 8:37:47 PM
Lady Padme's Comments:

Very lovely and sad. I loved Padme's line "I only wanted a family". It's so true and sums up the pathos of her tragedy so well.

Congrats for getting this in!

Author: Cosmic  (signed)
Date posted: 2/25/2003 6:27:46 AM
Cosmic's Comments:

Very nice, I liked it! Keep up the good work...

Author: Bobill
Date posted: 2/25/2003 4:27:58 PM
Bobill's Comments:

"I only wanted a family"
That's soooo sad! I love how you switched lost and found into found and lost, adding such a touch of grief! Her sadness is so real, so horrible!

Author: TheTrueObi-Wan
Date posted: 2/25/2003 5:15:49 PM
TheTrueObi-Wan's Comments:

Editor Note: Consider this your ONLY warning about flaming as well as using that term in a derogatory manner.

Author: Niki  (signed)
Date posted: 2/25/2003 6:12:44 PM
Niki's Comments:

Very good. Very sad. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 2/25/2003 7:29:29 PM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Good job. heep it up.


Author: Count Boobu
Date posted: 2/25/2003 11:56:36 PM
Count Boobu's Comments:

Very well made. These stories about Padme's pain of loss always keeps me speculating on just how GL is going to execute such scenes in EP3. Until then I'll have great stories like this to read. Great work!

Author: JediFalcon
Date posted: 2/26/2003 12:12:08 AM
JediFalcon's Comments:

That's very sad, poor Padme what she said was the truth. Keep it up :)

Author: Barissa
Date posted: 2/26/2003 8:10:00 AM
Barissa's Comments:

Wow, well done.

Sounds like it was maybe taken from personal expirence? Just a guess.

GL will for sure have his work cut out for him in E.3 I simply don't want to what until 2005!


Author: Aunecah_Skywalker  (signed)
Date posted: 2/26/2003 8:34:36 AM
Aunecah_Skywalker's Comments:

First, let me start by saying that I'm wonderfully delighted that this story is so well-received.

Second: Barissa - No, actually. It wasn't taken from a personal experience.


Author: DarraSkywalker
Date posted: 2/26/2003 8:02:34 PM
DarraSkywalker's Comments:

wow. wonderful, Aunecah.
i only wanted a family...*sniff*
;) awesome job

Author: DarraSkywalker
Date posted: 2/26/2003 8:02:42 PM
DarraSkywalker's Comments:

wow. wonderful, Aunecah.
i only wanted a family...*sniff*
;) awesome job

Author: 5m3rk
Date posted: 2/27/2003 12:26:57 AM
5m3rk's Comments:

Great story...

Author: ice angel
Date posted: 2/27/2003 2:02:57 AM
ice angel's Comments:

Editor's Edit - Watch it.

Depa Billaba

Author: Kathy
Date posted: 2/27/2003 12:50:22 PM
Kathy's Comments:

I loved the way you wrote, " I only wanted a family, She seems so sad, yet mad at the same time, wonderfully writtn, i can't wait to watch the movie,i am a fan, a huge one!!!!!!!

Author: GrungeWerX
Date posted: 2/27/2003 12:59:47 PM
GrungeWerX's Comments:

First of all, i want to thank you.I am a writer and i havent written in quite some time.This story brought back my love for writing.And the story was well-paced, organized, and filled with moments of excitement and retrospection. Great job and i would love to read more of your work.Thanks!

Author: GrungeWerX
Date posted: 2/27/2003 1:00:13 PM
GrungeWerX's Comments:

First of all, i want to thank you.I am a writer and i havent written in quite some time.This story brought back my love for writing.And the story was well-paced, organized, and filled with moments of excitement and retrospection. Great job and i would love to read more of your work.Thanks!

Author: thebl4ckd0g
Date posted: 2/27/2003 4:35:06 PM
thebl4ckd0g's Comments:

good infinities-like story. very moving in the right ways. a great read. :D

Author: Lil Thx
Date posted: 2/27/2003 6:29:11 PM
Lil Thx's Comments:

Sensational!!!!! absolutly loved it! wanted to keep reading.........

"all i wanted was a family" jedi poets at work ladies and gentleman :)

Author: JediPug1  (signed)
Date posted: 2/27/2003 8:41:14 PM
JediPug1's Comments:

I liked this very much! It was so real and so very sad, and the characters were written well. If your story is any indication, Episode III will be very heartbreaking indeed!

Author: Umich Jedi
Date posted: 2/27/2003 9:27:41 PM
Umich Jedi's Comments:

I really liked how you compared Anakin becomming a Sith apprentice to his being, once again, a slave. Strong work, very well done!

Author: Sgt J-dawg  (signed)
Date posted: 2/28/2003 7:57:27 AM
Sgt J-dawg's Comments:

I found this article truly depressing, and yet, I reflect upon this story. Made me think about things differentlly. Good job.

deployed location

Author: Jazza
Date posted: 2/28/2003 11:17:46 AM
Jazza's Comments:

Dear Aunecah,

Amazing, brilliant and fab..

Youve really captured the feeling of Episode III!

Hope George Lucas signs you up!

Well done ! :)

Author: Siri Ruane
Date posted: 2/28/2003 2:35:33 PM
Siri Ruane's Comments:

Very nice.
I, too, like that "I only wanted a family."

Author: Ani's girl  (signed)
Date posted: 2/28/2003 6:29:48 PM
Ani's girl's Comments:

This is truly an honest account of what Padme would be thinking, spending her last days with both her children. A beautiful story, told from the heart of a powerful and loved character.

Author: darthdeb
Date posted: 2/28/2003 7:19:19 PM
darthdeb's Comments:

GREAT story. It show the sadness that Padme' has for within herself and for her children. Her comment of "I only wanted a family" gets right to heart of the story. I really enjoyed this.

Author: Jason
Date posted: 2/28/2003 8:51:01 PM
Jason's Comments:

To easy of a storyline, my dear, im not sure what GL has in mind for EP.3, but i believe padmes tragic death would be a better angle of annakin's seduction to the dark side.
Perhaps her accidental death at the hands of obi-wan, or worse yet, anakin himself.
Anakins fall from the light should be more than simple influence by palpatine or loosing a near death duel to obi-wan. what better way to push annakin over the edge than loosing the only thing he loves! We all know what Anni did after the death of his mother.
I did enjoy the story, however and look forward to more of your work!

Author: Voovie1960
Date posted: 2/28/2003 9:19:36 PM
Voovie1960's Comments:

a wonderful work of fiction, even if it wasn't SW. Sad, beautifully written, I loved it.

Author: lostlove
Date posted: 3/1/2003 11:01:40 AM
lostlove's Comments:

Great story. I loved it.

Author: FeltonFreak
Date posted: 3/1/2003 6:15:15 PM
FeltonFreak's Comments:

Great story, great story. You used great descriptive words which kind of made the story have more feeling in it. I loved the story. Keep up the wonderful work

Author: Aunecah_Skywalker  (signed)
Date posted: 3/1/2003 6:59:44 PM
Aunecah_Skywalker's Comments:

Jason: This isn't the entire Episode III. It's the ending. Leia said that Amidala died when she was very young, so I doubt Amidala will be killed in the end of Episode III by Anakin. And I think her accidental death in Obi's hands is well off the mark. It just doesn't seem to be in-character for Obi to be so careless.

But thanks.


Author: ashla fardreamer
Date posted: 3/2/2003 11:01:17 PM
ashla fardreamer's Comments:

this is beautiful. truly touching and a very heartfelt look at the crucial decisions padme had to make. brilliant. also v good insight into why the twins were separated (i've been away from star wars land so i've been missing out on all this speculation.) keep up the wicked fanfics!

Author: Sierra
Date posted: 3/3/2003 4:43:21 PM
Sierra's Comments:

I like the story. It is so sad. I absolutly love the line "I only wanted a family." It is so true. Keep up the good work!!

Author: Christine McCarthy
Date posted: 3/3/2003 5:33:50 PM
Christine McCarthy's Comments:

This is a sad but great ending to the end of Anakin and the death of Padme.IT is superb!!!

Author: Ihearthayden
Date posted: 3/4/2003 9:39:01 AM
Ihearthayden's Comments:

I really loved this story. Very emotional and ties in well w/ the series. Great work

Author: its me...HI!
Date posted: 3/4/2003 7:00:46 PM
its me...HI!'s Comments:

Jasen, what DID Anakin do when his mother died in Episode II? No, just kidding =].

Author: Tanara
Date posted: 3/10/2003 10:09:29 PM
Tanara's Comments:

Woah. I think that one word sums up my feelings about this! Wonderful, heh heh... big angst fan, myself, and that was terrific!
"I only wanted a family"
Sheeze, that line was so totally cool! Ok, I'll shut up now, and stop repeating what every one else has said ;-)

Author: ice angel
Date posted: 3/16/2003 12:19:41 AM
ice angel's Comments:

Editor note:

If you don't like fanfiction, that's your prerogative, but please refrain from insulting those who do enjoy fanfiction.

Author: Cody Lover
Date posted: 3/28/2003 5:41:48 PM
Cody Lover's Comments:

Beautiful! Mr. Lucas should read this story and use some of your wonderful and touching ideas in EPIII
Thank you

Author: MonMartha
Date posted: 4/20/2003 9:12:52 PM
MonMartha's Comments:

Hey, the best lit is precise in vocabulary, concise in structure, dn conveys what is human and real.

*Ahem* Bail Organa is married when he assumes his Senate seat. If Lady Organa was a handmaiden of a certain former Queen, Palpy is too power-mad to notice that. Nice touch. :)

The calm, controlled strength, dry wit and direct manner of a certain Knight is spot-on. And appreciated. :)

Author: benskycrawler
Date posted: 6/17/2003 8:35:18 AM
benskycrawler's Comments:

I've been reading's fanfics for a while, and this is quite possibly the best take on Luke and Leia's seperation I've ever read. It paints a very touching mental picture.

Author: jade_eyes
Date posted: 11/5/2004 1:23:08 PM
jade_eyes's Comments:

Wow! That was a great debut fic! I agree with all the other comments about Anakin's becoming enslaved again, and the line about only wanting a family--that one will be hard to top! :-,

Author: RaeAnne  (signed)
Date posted: 4/19/2005 12:49:22 AM
RaeAnne's Comments:

Lovely story, very sad, but very beautiful all the same.

Author: wover30  (signed)
Date posted: 3/3/2008 9:16:32 AM
wover30's Comments:

This story really shows how tragic her situation is. Dare I say, tear in me eyes. Good job.


Add a comment about this fan fiction

Comments to Aunecah_Skywalker or post it in the Jedi Council Fanfic Forum.
Archived: Monday, February 24, 2003

DISCLAIMER : TheForce.Net and its Fan Fiction associates do not own any content posted on this web site.