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Gungan to the left

Goodbye, My Love (PG)

By : Princess Beccerz

Archived on: Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Anakin's thoughts as he goes to bury Padme and makes the final step towards becoming Vader.


A beautiful, lush planet. A planet that I have not seen since before... it happened.

And now I am here to do something I had never thought I would do.

There are three days in my life that I prefer not to remember. Days that I lost control.

The day my mother died, and, in my rage and grief over her death, I killed all those Tuskens. That day, I realize now, began my path to the dark side, a path I have always, in my heart of hearts, regretted taking.

The day I fought my last battle with Obi-Wan, my former Master. My friend, my mentor, my almost-father. The day I became the monster that I am today. I should not have gone to him. I should not have given into my hatred of the Jedi Order, the Order that had tried to refuse me my wife. I fought my hardest, but Obi-Wan was fighting with the power of the Light, I with the power of Darkness. I now know that Light is stronger, but I am too set in my ways, too...evil, to change now. He pushed me, and I lost concentration. I fell, into a pit of boiling lava that changed my image forever. I climbed out of that pit a purely evil man, or so I thought.

But the day I regret most of all is the day I stood, an armored black monster, above my wife, my love, my angel. My beautiful Padme. I towered above her while she screamed for mercy. I asked her for information on my son. She said he was stillborn. I didn't, and still don't, believe her, for I feel his presence in the Force. I became enraged, and lost control once again. I drew my saber, and struck down my wife.

Now I hold her body in my arms. I cannot believe what I have done. When I fought the Tuskens, and when I fought Obi-Wan, Padme was there, to hold me and tell me everything would be alright, and that she loved me. In one moment, I destroyed the one beloved thing I had left. My Padme. I walk down the ramp of my ship, onto the green grass near the lake. The same old man who was here the first time I came with Padme, Paddy Accu, escorts me to a speeder. He catches a glimpse of the woman in my arms, and stifles a sob. He silently drives the speeder over the lake to the villa. I climb out, my beloved still in my arms. I walk past the balustrade where we shared our first kiss, and a tear escapes from the corner of my eye and rolls down my cheek under the mask. Further down the walkway is the rose-covered arbor where we exchanged our vows. I can no longer hold back the flood of tears. I walk slowly across the meadow where Padme and I once picnicked. I set her down in the soft grass that is dotted with the flowers that my Padme loved so much. I use the Force to push aside the dirt, and I make a deep hole, in which I will bury my love. When I am done, I lie down on the grass beside my Padme for the last time. I run my fingers across her bloodless lips, wishing I could kiss them, but this blasted mask is in my way. I stand, and gather my love in my arms. I gently, reverently lower her into the grave. Once again, I use the Force to move the dirt, this time to cover the face of my love. The last handful of dirt I move myself, and as I sprinkle it over the grave, I choke out the last words that Anakin Skywalker will ever say. I whisper "Goodbye, my love."

I turn and walk away. Obeying my mother, I do not look back. I am Vader. Goodbye, my love.

The End

Original cover by Cosmic. HTML formatting copyright 2003 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 7.99 in 202 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Cosmic  (signed)
Date posted: 3/18/2003 9:14:03 AM
Cosmic's Comments:

I liked this fic when I read it before making the cover, and I still love it. Absolutely beautiful!

Author: Destiny  (signed)
Date posted: 3/18/2003 4:46:13 PM
Destiny's Comments:

I enjoyed this vignette, Princess Beccerz. It went to the core of the emotions that Vader must have felt when he was separated from Padme for good - whether that was through death or otherwise. Good job! :p

Author: Lady Padme  (signed)
Date posted: 3/18/2003 5:45:28 PM
Lady Padme's Comments:

Wow...what a sad story. I liked the symmetry of Vader burying Padme in their field...and the last line was perfect!

Author: Greenleaf from LakeRetreat
Date posted: 3/19/2003 1:28:19 AM
Greenleaf from LakeRetreat's Comments:

Another fan fiction with the background of THAT meadow I love so much! Another sad, sweet, beautiful story about Padme's love and death. Thank you.

Author: Smeagol
Date posted: 3/19/2003 5:55:15 AM
Smeagol's Comments:

Sorry, I didn't like it. It doesn't fit in Lucas story, cause Leia remembers a little her mother, a beautiful but sad woman.

Editor note: The story is not required to fit in Lucas' story. Most fan fiction deliberately does not.

Author: Maul Kenobi
Date posted: 3/19/2003 8:26:52 AM
Maul Kenobi's Comments:

Very good wether or not it fits, it's so sad and I agree with the one who said the last line was perfect.
Good job :)

Author: Jedi_Author
Date posted: 3/19/2003 8:29:28 AM
Jedi_Author's Comments:

i don't doesnt seem right, anakin killing padmé. i watched episode 2 after reading this fanfic, and im sorry, but it just doesnt fit in. also, the repetition of 'my love' annoyed me. the last paragraph was good though.

Author: Darth Breezy  (signed)
Date posted: 3/19/2003 8:42:19 AM
Darth Breezy's Comments:

I have to admit I stopped reading after "Padme screamed for mercy as I stood over her..."

Sorry... To have him slaughter 'the love of his life' like that just doesn't cut it for me...

Author: elijah
Date posted: 3/19/2003 11:42:10 AM
elijah's Comments:

Great story! I am a Darth vader fan, and this little tail allows me to see the things that are going on in his mind as he turns to the Dark Side. Great job!!

Author: bobilll
Date posted: 3/19/2003 2:34:32 PM
bobilll's Comments:

Very short and sweet, great capturing of Anakin's feelings. Sad how such a man can't realize his errors before he makes them...

Author: jedi_anakin_lover  (signed)
Date posted: 3/19/2003 5:08:29 PM
jedi_anakin_lover's Comments:

This is such a beautiful vignette, so beautiful, it gave my goosebumps. To the one's that said it didn't fit, well, Anakin did do things like that in the heat of the moment. How could he love Obi-Wan and then kill him? It's wonderful.

Author: jedi_anakin_lover  (signed)
Date posted: 3/19/2003 5:08:39 PM
jedi_anakin_lover's Comments:

This is such a beautiful vignette, so beautiful, it gave my goosebumps. To the one's that said it didn't fit, well, Anakin did do things like that in the heat of the moment.It's wonderful.

Author: Kaitu
Date posted: 3/19/2003 5:51:42 PM
Kaitu's Comments:

Thank you for your insight. I know this is fan fiction, but I must admit, a bit MORE of Anakin's thoughts would have been nice - I can't really "feel" the incredible turmoil Anakin must have been going through. The loss of a loved one is difficult to put into words... I appreciate your attempt....keep writing...practice makes perfect!

Author: Arno Bledd
Date posted: 3/20/2003 1:23:53 AM
Arno Bledd's Comments:

I like it very much, but I must agree with what some people said before me here: it just doesn't look as it could fit. I think at Padme's death more as a reason for anakin TO BECOME Vader, due to the pain and the rage that a loss like that could unleash in him, pushing him definitely to the dark side.

Author: MasterSifodyas
Date posted: 3/20/2003 10:47:29 AM
MasterSifodyas's Comments:

The story doesn't sit right, not just in the story of the films but with the feelings anakin is feeling as Darth Vader. Vader would not say that he realises the light side of the force is stronger than the dark side. Also remember if vader knows about his son, why doesn't he know about Leia and feel her in the force when he captures her in EP4. The last line line would have been better if it had been "Anakin Skywalker, That name has no meaning to me"

Author: christy
Date posted: 3/20/2003 11:23:28 AM
christy's Comments:

Great story,very sad(sniff)I loved it

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 3/20/2003 6:59:32 PM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Author here, checking in! I am SO happy that almost everyone liked my story. I didnt realy work that hard on it, I had, like, a moment of inspiration and then I just wrote it. It was a five-minute deal, but I guess it worked! Thanx to my betas, you guys rock! and Cosmic, thanx so much for the wonderful cover. If everyone can wait, I'm working on a Yoda stoy next. Thanx again!


Author: Darth_Syther
Date posted: 3/20/2003 7:58:12 PM
Darth_Syther's Comments:

The story is very good and thought out. If leia wouldnt have said she knew her mother. It would be perfect. One other thing, just a thought, If Vader in 4,5,&6 is so empty, why would he have these fealings. Is the story on the brink of him going to the dark side. Or has he passed the threash hold yet?

Author: Siri Ruane
Date posted: 3/21/2003 4:59:36 AM
Siri Ruane's Comments:

I'm so happy you got it archived! It reallly is a great story!

Author: Richard
Date posted: 3/21/2003 7:24:25 AM
Richard's Comments:

A powerful piece of writing. Probably the best and most thoughtful fan fiction I have ever read.

Author: Juan Saavedra
Date posted: 3/21/2003 9:17:36 AM
Juan Saavedra's Comments:

Not bad but... Leia remember her mother en Episode VI, so, Padmé did survive after Episode III.

But.. Not bad, anyway

Author: negar(iran)
Date posted: 3/21/2003 11:13:02 AM
negar(iran)'s Comments:

I live you

Author: Lyra Luminara
Date posted: 3/21/2003 2:41:10 PM
Lyra Luminara's Comments:

nice story, although I refuse to believe that Anakin would kill Padme.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 3/21/2003 3:12:20 PM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Darth_Syther, this story is Vader on the brink of turning over to the Dark Side. To all of you who say the story doesnt match b/c of what Leia said in ROTJ, it's like that sort of on purpose. I really didnt want the stories to match up. Also, those of you who say that Anakin wouldnt kill Padme, I have two things to say to you:
1) this story is MY opinion.
2) a fanfiction is just that. fiction. just because I say something, doesnt mean its true, or that it will happen.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 3/21/2003 3:12:25 PM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Darth_Syther, this story is Vader on the brink of turning over to the Dark Side. To all of you who say the story doesnt match b/c of what Leia said in ROTJ, it's like that sort of on purpose. I really didnt want the stories to match up. Also, those of you who say that Anakin wouldnt kill Padme, I have two things to say to you:
1) this story is MY opinion.
2) a fanfiction is just that. fiction. just because I say something, doesnt mean its true, or that it will happen.

Author: beef-somerset
Date posted: 3/21/2003 6:07:39 PM
beef-somerset's Comments:

good , sad, very understandable, great work

Author: Iseman
Date posted: 3/21/2003 6:53:54 PM
Iseman's Comments:

I thought it rocked! The part with Anikins "bad days" was awsome!EVEN my sister that HATES Star Wars liked it. GREAT JOB!!


EDIT: Please refrain from making remarks about others who have left comments.

Author: johnquoin
Date posted: 3/21/2003 10:46:44 PM
johnquoin's Comments:

I thought it was excellent. Regardless of whether it fits the trilogy story line it's one of those things you wish you could see happen. Goodbye my love evokes the inds eye to let the imagination go wild.

Author: Palpatine
Date posted: 3/22/2003 9:15:59 PM
Palpatine's Comments:

I would agree that in the heat of the moment Darth Vader would kill Padme. No evil act is beyond this character.

However, I do not think Vader would go through so much self-analyzation as he does here. Once he put on the mask, he became the personification of pure evil. In Vader's mind Anakin Skywalker was dead. The feelings of regret would have been much more brief, if the Sith Lord had any.

Author: Stephen Stewart
Date posted: 3/23/2003 12:54:25 PM
Stephen Stewart's Comments:


Author: Mama Jamba
Date posted: 3/23/2003 1:31:19 PM
Mama Jamba's Comments:

That was a good story. it was well thought out and had beautiful language-the author deserves praise.okay it doesn't matter that it doesn't fit the story of how lucas set it up. i mean i've read so much more bizarre stories than this one!! the thing that is good about fan fiction is that it can be totally out of the blue and not make sense- because its coming from someone else's mind. so people who only like things that make sense with story and are like OBSSESSERS about how everything has to be right and make sense maybe fan fiction isn't for you!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: Darthleif
Date posted: 3/23/2003 1:51:58 PM
Darthleif's Comments:

this is a very good story but you jumped around a bit to much when he was walking to the meadow to burry because you left out some of the area where he had to walk to.

Author: DarthRage
Date posted: 3/23/2003 3:50:31 PM
DarthRage's Comments:

It's great but the paragraph about Obi-Wan is a little confusing.

Author: Darth Lucious
Date posted: 3/23/2003 8:39:41 PM
Darth Lucious's Comments:

Thought it was great, but I don't think that Anakin would strike down Padme so easily(at least without thinking about it first). Even if all of the darkside's hatetred were boiling inside him, it would take a while for him to gather the wits to take down his love.:]

Author: Darth Sing (Aurra Sing)
Date posted: 3/24/2003 1:16:53 PM
Darth Sing (Aurra Sing)'s Comments:

That was a beutiful sad story!! Everything was great about it. You did an extremally good job!! I look forward to reading your next story!! And once again great job!!!!;^)

Author: darthnikita
Date posted: 3/25/2003 7:13:42 AM
darthnikita's Comments:

It had a good basis, but even for a short story I thought the language could be developed a bit more. I personally dont think Anakin would/could slay Padme, but I liked your idea. I just think it needs some fine tuning.

Author: Cody Lover
Date posted: 3/27/2003 2:58:59 PM
Cody Lover's Comments:

Sorry, I did not like this story. I truly believe no matter how evil Darth Vader becomes he could
NEVER kill Padme!! "You are in my soul". NO WAY.
Maybe in somebody else's Star Wars movie but not George Lucus' movie. The Force wouldn't let it happen.

Author: jedimaster
Date posted: 3/27/2003 7:56:40 PM
jedimaster's Comments:

I think it was a very good story. Although I don't think he will kill padme. It doesn't fit well with the love they share, but it was a very good story. Keep up the good work :)

Author: JediQueen
Date posted: 3/27/2003 8:35:29 PM
JediQueen's Comments:

You made me cry! Not an easy thing to do. This story was amazing and actually opens up onother option on how Padme` dies. And even if it wasn't meant to "fit" if you use your imagination it could work. You didn't put a specific time period on it that I remember so Leia could be 1-2 years old and that would explain her memories of Padme`. And as for Vader feeling Luke in the force and not Leia, it is my personal opinion that either Obi-wan or Yoda put a force "block" on Leia when she was born, (it's not unheard of). And I also believe that this is a very Vader type thing, he could definently kill Padme` HE'S VADER! Well in this story he's not Vader yet but almost and when he lets the dark side take control of him he doesn't think! He just acts and then he regrets it. So now that I have given you my full blown opinion I'm going to stop, that was one of the most amazing fanfics I have ever read. Give me more!!!

Author: JediPug1  (signed)
Date posted: 3/28/2003 9:29:14 PM
JediPug1's Comments:

Well done! It was such a sad and lovely story and I was literally moved to tears by it.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 3/30/2003 8:50:15 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Thank you JediQueen for supporting my story so much. You have voiced everything that I wanted to say, and now I am not nearly as aggravated at the people who say my story is wrong. Thanks so much.


Author: Ani'sFallenAngel  (signed)
Date posted: 4/1/2003 4:07:21 PM
Ani'sFallenAngel's Comments:

hey, Princess B., I just want you to know, i LOVED your fic, regardless of everyone's opinions about if it 'fits' or not! It's FAN fiction! I love Anakin just all makes sense! I mean, he's vader! the angel of darkness! who said he wouldn't kill his wife? i loved, loved, loved it!!!! ;)

Author: Senator Jake
Date posted: 4/4/2003 5:22:25 PM
Senator Jake's Comments:

This was a great fanfic!! I'm amazed that it took only five minutes to write it. It's a depressing thought though, that Anakin would actually kill Padme, but that is what makes this story so superb! I also loved that you inserted Paddy Accu; he and other Naboo are always disregarded.

Author: Blazer  (signed)
Date posted: 4/5/2003 2:30:24 PM
Blazer's Comments:

A very sweet piece of work. I enjoyed it immenseley and thought you cued everyone perfectly. Everyone changes, and you have a way with words. Very good fic.

Author: I-Love-Anakin
Date posted: 4/6/2003 9:30:48 AM
I-Love-Anakin's Comments:

I LOVED your story!! It made me cry.
and like JediQueen said......GIVE ME MORE!!

Author: DaRk_ShErV  (signed)
Date posted: 4/13/2003 7:15:56 AM
DaRk_ShErV's Comments:

This poster has been banned.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 4/13/2003 7:48:18 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

DaRk_ShErV, I will reiterate what I said before:
A fanfiction is just that. Fiction. Just because I say something, doesnt mean its true, or that it will happen. How come you don't understand that? This is my story, and it is written how I wanted it! I didn't write it to fit exactly to every detail of anything Lucas ever wrote! So get over it! I wrote Anakin how I perceived him, not to please you!


Author: Nrin Vakil
Date posted: 4/25/2003 1:30:29 PM
Nrin Vakil's Comments:

I have to agree with most of the other reviewers, it doesn't work. I know the definition of fan-fic and alternate universe, so I'm not abou to go into an all-out argument on the subject. I, personally try to write my fan-fiction within the bounds set by Lucas and the official EU. I honestly don't think Vader would kill Padme, and if he did, he certainly would not feel remorse. Vader is Vader, Anakin is Anakin, and the two are separate. "Vader" at the end of ROTJ was Anakin. Anakin could not bring himself to do it, but the heartless Vader would, and he wouldn't think twice about it. Sorry, it just doesn't work.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 6/22/2003 7:09:10 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Well Nrin Vakil, I'm so sorry that the fic doesnt meet your standards (can't you just see the dripping sarcasm). If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times: this story is MY opinoin. Also, this story happens to be Anakin when he is not completely Vader yet, so he is still in a way struggling against the Dark Side. Once again, I'm sorry that I'm just not good enough for you (once again, I can feel the sarcasm). If you people don't like it, then too bad for you, because its here, and it ain't goin nowhere.

Author: Dark Armored One
Date posted: 7/3/2003 3:30:11 PM
Dark Armored One's Comments:

Vader is my favorite screen character of all time. For that reason I have naturally developed my own point of view as to who I think he is and how he "ticks". When reading your story I did not see him from your point of view. I do however, have the utmost respect for writer/fans such as yourself who take the time to expand on this fantasy Universe that George has created for, and I thank you.

Author: nikki
Date posted: 7/31/2003 10:14:10 PM
nikki's Comments:

I refuse to accept he would kill Padme (until it actually happens, and I am fiercely disappointed in George Lucas)but as a fan fic, that was a great story. *sniffle*

Author: JediMasterMariana
Date posted: 9/10/2003 7:02:16 PM
JediMasterMariana's Comments:

I don't care weather or not this fits in the movie.It was very moving and sad.And the last line fitted in perfectly.GOOD JOB!

Author: monkeygirl
Date posted: 11/13/2003 6:33:57 PM
monkeygirl's Comments:

good job!

but I do disagree on Darth Vader ever killing padme -even if it is a fan fic. you can turn to the dark side but never killing the ones you loved. But I know Anakin does have a temper (a short one too!)
I like the last part and when he buries her on naboo.


Author: The Stormtrooper Shrink
Date posted: 2/11/2004 5:14:42 PM
The Stormtrooper Shrink's Comments:

Uh...It was good, as far as the writing went. But I agree with all those who said that Vader killing Padme just doesn't fit. I've always been under the impression that it was Palpatine or maybe something else, but not Vader. However...George is still to reveal his devious plans, so it might just work. I don't know. Nice work, but dark. Very dark.

Author: JediQueen & JediAngel
Date posted: 4/1/2004 9:37:24 PM
JediQueen & JediAngel's Comments:

JediQueen- Hey guess what guys? Princess B. was right! You go girl!
JediAngel-I loved this story. You are a talented writer :)
Both-We're still waiting for the next story :)

Author: PrincessBeccerz
Date posted: 4/8/2004 8:15:21 AM
PrincessBeccerz's Comments:

thanx for the comments guys, I really appreciate your critiques. JediQueen-right about what? JediQueen and JediAngel- gimme an idea and i'll give you a story! btw guys, this story is just my opinion, if i'm right i'm right, and if i'm not, well then too bad on me!

Author: JediQueen
Date posted: 4/11/2004 8:44:02 PM
JediQueen's Comments:

A few comments: Right about a certin opinion in your story.
Think about it. (For those of you who haven't been keeping tabs on Episode 3 spoilers, don't think to hard).
I guess I'm gonna have to stop commenting on this story huh?
What happened to the Yoda story?

Author: Arren Terrilon
Date posted: 8/4/2004 8:12:42 AM
Arren Terrilon's Comments:

That is so sad...Vader... his story is just so sad... :( GREAT STORY

Author: Ty-Ty
Date posted: 9/20/2004 3:47:35 PM
Ty-Ty's Comments:

thats awesome. I wish i could write, but sadly, my hand was badly bruised during a song.. and the beautiful maiden wasn't able to heal me in time. hand had to be cut off. The villagers....mourned...

Author: Darth Martz
Date posted: 3/4/2005 12:02:08 PM
Darth Martz's Comments:


Author: ObiWanGreatestJedi2688
Date posted: 6/23/2005 2:28:14 AM
ObiWanGreatestJedi2688's Comments:

To everyone who thinks Anakin won't kill Padme. Go see Episode III. This was a great story, I do admit the lightsaber slauthering was very...surprising. But the way you described Anakin's (Vader's) emotions was bloody marvelous.

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 6/27/2005 6:15:01 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Thank you so much, and to all of you who doubted my wisdom...I TOLD YOU SO! I may not have gotten the method right, and he may not hve directly killed her, but he did kill her! His 'conversion', so to speak, to the Dark Side left her with no will to live....which, essentially, is killing BOO YA!

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Archived: Tuesday, March 18, 2003

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