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Gungan to the left

Finding Peace (PG)

By : obaona

Archived on: Monday, April 21, 2003

How did Anakin Skywalker come to be standing by Yoda and his old Master? Where did he go when he died? A missing scene for Return of the Jedi.

My son?s grief-stricken face faded from me, and I wept in death for that grieved look in his eyes. He feared losing me, feared losing what he had just found. As my sight blurred to darkness, I watched as that fear relinquished itself to the reality of grief - and I grieved with him, not for my death but for his loss.

I opened my eyes to something different, my vision and senses only expanding on the moment of death. I felt the Force take me and fill me with its grace and power. I had no form, but I existed as a thing of energy, sentience and thought. And yet I was aware of my surroundings in such a way that it did not matter that I was dead, that I shouldn?t be able to see - I simply knew my surroundings to be what they were. I felt very odd - gray, old, and much too weak.

My emotions were still in turmoil, even though I had gained acceptance in my son?s forgiveness. I wanted to remember that moment forever - my son had set me free with that simple act; he had set me free from years of slavery to the Dark Side. And the fact that he was able to forgive me, after all I had done, made me realize that my son was a Jedi. He was the last of the Jedi, but he had been taught well, and I knew the Order would not die with him. My son would never turn to the Dark, would never abuse his powers - he was a Jedi.

I was in a forest, though the vibrant colors I would have expected were muted and changed. Otherwise, I could see every detail, from the smallest pebbles on the moist soil, to the tiny plants that sprang forth from the ground. Instead of seeing the forest - I saw the Force within it. I saw the energy illuminated upon everything, within everything and binding everything.

In the next moment, I found myself in a body. My own body, as it would have been had I not fought with my Jedi Master and fallen - and I was no longer young. I felt none of the aches or pains I had felt in life, only light sensations such as a breath of air, or the faint pressure of my feet on the ground, and a feeling of sensing beyond what my body physically should. I touched the Force in a way that I never had in life, that I never could have before. I reached out, to experience it more clearly.

Obi-Wan Kenobi?s presence in the Force was something I could never forget. It was bright, fiercely controlled energy distilled into a sea of calm, in the way of the Jedi. It was like a snarl undone, every thread in its place.

I turned around to see him. Distance had no real meaning, not anymore, but he wasn?t close enough to . . . touch. He looked as I had last seen him, strangely and shockingly old, with white hair and lines in his face that spoke of both joy and sorrow.

His face bore the gentlest smile.

?Master,? I said, more of a breath than a word. The title came so easily, as if twenty years had not separated us from that reality.

?Hello, Anakin,? he said, just as softly. He wore the Jedi robes I had last seen him wear, rough and old, weathered by years of use. His voice was different - less accented, more soothing, yet rougher than I had remembered. His blue eyes twinkled with kindness - and that was no different from what I had known as a young boy, not at all.

I knew well the tone of voice in which he spoke. That tone that he had used to soothe away the nightmares and frustrations of a young boy. That tone he had used to gently admonish and teach.

With a benevolent look he opened his arms, and I fell into them, distance having no meaning - I was not close enough to touch, and then I was. He felt frailer in some ways and stronger in others. Different. And I, too, felt different. The Force had given me the form of what I would have looked like.

He hugged me tightly, then let me go, taking hold of my shoulders instead. I looked into his eyes, seeking some kind of absolution.

?I never hated you, Anakin,? Obi-Wan told me, eyes bright. I don?t know how he knew my thoughts, but it seemed right that he did - as if he had a right to them. And that thought didn?t disturb me at all.

?I gave you reason.? I paused, but I could not ignore the past, act as if it didn?t happen - and some degree of honesty pushed me to speak. I saw clearly now what I had done, the darkness I had encouraged and brought into myself because of my pain, none of that distorting my vision anymore, or distorting the truth. ?I killed you, Master. I cut you in half!?

He looked at me, his blue eyes serious. ?I know, Anakin,? he said softly, meeting my eyes with an almost careful look, as if cautious of his words. ?I can remember looking at you, wondering if it was really you in that armor. When I raised my lightsaber, I can?t say I expected you to not take advantage and strike me down, but in some way, I was surprised you did.?

I let out my breath with a hitch, almost a sob. The grip on my shoulders tightened, and I struggled to speak. ?I am sorry. You were a good teacher - I loved you - love you - like a father. You were the only one I ever had. I wish . . .?

He laid a hand on the side of my face. It felt strange, to feel something other than the soft breeze of my respirator - or my tears, as I had cried when my son held me, unwilling to let go. ?It ended well, Anakin.? He smiled. ?That does not mean your crimes were nothing, but it does mean something.?

?To you?? I asked, not sure quite sure if I wanted the answer.

He cocked his head, his expression gentle, and let his hand drop. ?Yes, to me. And to others.? He smiled again, very gently as if he was afraid I would break under the force of his kindness. ?You have never had to ask for my forgiveness - you have long had it, young one.?

I couldn?t help my smile. To have Obi-Wan?s forgiveness - even, I dare say it, his love - was a gift. Then my smile faded, under the power of my own memories. ?But I failed you and your teachings - I did . . . horrific things, to you and to the Jedi.?

He shook his head slowly, flickers of pain and regret lighting in his eyes, only to subside under acceptance. ?It doesn?t matter now, Anakin. The past is the past, and it cannot be undone. I regret not seeing what was happening to you earlier, but I don?t regret a moment of time I spent with you.?

Surely I must have wept, if one can weep within the Force.

He squeezed my shoulders. ?You are a Jedi, Anakin, as you once were. And it brings joy to me that you are with us.?

I turned my head, sensing something beyond the flickers of life, the ever-varying changes within the Force. In a moment, that slight feeling surged, becoming a clear presence, and I saw Yoda. I let out my breath suddenly, harshly. The spry old Jedi Master was frailer then I had remembered, his green form bent within his robes. I knelt before him, as I had done on many occasions when I was young - and not touched by darkness.

?Returned, you have,? Yoda said simply. ?Gladdens my heart to see you well, it does.? And he tapped my shin with his stick. His ancient eyes that had seen so much death and misery - with much of it due to me - shone only with acceptance. As Obi-Wan had said, I was a Jedi once again, even broken as I was. I nearly wept again at that simple acceptance, and the joy of being with my adopted family.

I felt an arm go around my shoulder, gently lifting me from my kneeling position. I got up, slowly, feeling strange in the Jedi robes I wore. It was very different from the harsh, restricting armor I had known for so long. Obi-Wan let his arm drop, and turned away from me, Yoda moving to his side and following his action. Puzzled, I did the same.

I felt the Force shift around us, changing. I could sense that Obi-Wan and Yoda were causing it, to a certain degree. I was being carried along; my inexperience with death rendering me unable to act. I looked out at the rich forest, full of life, transformed into a village of some kind. Fires lit the area, and the faces of Rebels before us were full of jubilance.

I saw my son, standing alone, leaning against a tree. My son - a son I had never known. Obi-Wan had taken him away, but in doing so he gave my son a gift I never could have. He gave him a normal life, and parents that loved him dearly: my stepbrother and his wife. But he was my son. He looked almost as I had last seen him, in his black clothing with his lightsaber clipped to his belt. His blond hair shone faintly in the light, but the look of peace on his face was what drew my eyes. Then he looked up - and his face froze for a moment in recognition, gentling into a smile. His sister - my daughter - came up to him and hugged him tightly, looking up at him with chocolate eyes, and he smiled down at her, embracing her in return.

Then he smiled at me, just slightly with a look of contentment filling his face.

And I smiled back.

The End

Original cover design by Cosmic. HTML formatting copyright 2002 TheForce.Net LLC.

Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.76 in 176 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Lady Padme  (signed)
Date posted: 4/21/2003 8:59:49 PM
Lady Padme's Comments:

Ooh! So cool that this got archived, obaona! As usual, your writing was brilliant! This was a lovely piece and gave a great sense of serenity and peace and acceptance and...what more can I say, I loved it!

Author: Blazer  (signed)
Date posted: 4/21/2003 9:07:08 PM
Blazer's Comments:

This was wonderful, obaona! Another excellent piece of work to add to your collection. I truly loved the way you worded this one. Good job!

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 4/21/2003 9:26:35 PM
obaona's Comments:

Thank you, LP and Blazer! *grins* And you got comments in there fast!

I'd like to thank my beta-readers, LadyPadme and Amidala_Skywalker. They're both wonderful, wonderful at it. LadyPadme is endlessly thorough, and knows what I want to say before I do, and Amsie actually sits down and we go through it via IM sentence by sentence. Thanks a lot, you gals! :D

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 4/22/2003 7:04:56 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Wonderful! I love it! Another wonderful story by Obaona!

Author: jedisister
Date posted: 4/22/2003 8:32:02 AM
jedisister's Comments:

Oh Wow!! What a great story!! I had tears in my eyes!! That is one of my fave scenes from ROTJ, when Anakin finally comes back. Your description of what he feels and thinks after he closes his eyes makes that scene so much better.

Author: shadesaw
Date posted: 4/22/2003 3:50:29 PM
shadesaw's Comments:

A beautiful story to one of best scenes in the old Star Wars trilogy.

Author: Jedi Master Leia Organa Solo
Date posted: 4/22/2003 4:58:20 PM
Jedi Master Leia Organa Solo's Comments:

This is a great story, though i wish there had been a little info on how he came to find out who his daughter was.

Author: bobill
Date posted: 4/22/2003 7:37:06 PM
bobill's Comments:

another one of Obaona's viggies! Cool! Yoda still hitting Anakin's shins... and Obi-wan, guess he isn't that stiff of a master after all!

I love happy endings! :)

Author: Battle4Rome
Date posted: 4/22/2003 8:31:29 PM
Battle4Rome's Comments:

Hey this was a good story, But as much as I like stories that are sad or somthing like this kind of story, I can't remember the word that describes but, Usually these stories touch me but this one was a little long than what needed. It's probably better than a touching story that I couls of wrote though.

Author: Jedi Knight Safira Felan
Date posted: 4/22/2003 9:34:27 PM
Jedi Knight Safira Felan's Comments:

Cool story. Very cool.

Author: JediMa
Date posted: 4/23/2003 5:41:30 PM
JediMa's Comments:

Whoever you are obaona, your stories are quite wonderful and imaginative, and I hope you're pursuing a career as a writer. Great story, it rings true. I have to say I am really enjoying all the subtext many of the writers here create--the inner thoughts and motivations. It enhances the movies for me too! Keep up the good work!

Author: Greenleaf from LakeRetreat
Date posted: 4/25/2003 10:31:29 AM
Greenleaf from LakeRetreat's Comments:

Obaona, you are really a poet. That's one of my favourite moments of the Classic Trilogy. Sweet and moving.

Author: Darth Brudder
Date posted: 4/25/2003 2:28:37 PM
Darth Brudder's Comments:

Beautiful!! Simply beautiful!! It shows that Anakin Skywalker WAS the balancing point in the force; that he was the one predicted as Qui-Gon Jinn had sensed.

Author: Darth Brudder
Date posted: 4/25/2003 2:29:32 PM
Darth Brudder's Comments:

Beautiful!! Simply beautiful!! It shows that Anakin Skywalker WAS the balancing point in the force; that he was the one predicted as Qui-Gon Jinn had sensed.

Author: MonMartha
Date posted: 4/26/2003 7:48:21 PM
MonMartha's Comments:

Short stories are very difficult things to write. You are a master (or mistress?) of the art. :) Did you model Anakin's thoughts and speech after Mr. Christensen's performance as Anakin?

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 4/26/2003 8:47:31 PM
obaona's Comments:

Thanks to everyone!! I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I really do appreciate your comments (see: silly grin on face). :)

To answer the questions: Yes, I plan to pursue a career as a writer, and have original stuff in the works. The speech and thoughts of Anakin were my attempt to do a cross between Anakin of AOTC and Darth Vader (I figure he was Darth Vader for twenty years, he wouldn't drop his speech patterns like that!).

And yup, its mistress. ;) Can you imagine a guy with this username? :P

Author: Kal
Date posted: 4/29/2003 11:07:32 PM
Kal's Comments:

First of all I like it (Almost loved it).

Second, Hats-off to all of the writers out there posting their best imaginations for the world to view.

Isn't he supposed to be the first Jedi to keep his identity after death?

Author: obaona  (signed)
Date posted: 4/30/2003 1:26:38 AM
obaona's Comments:

I don't believe that's been entirely confirmed yet (though Qui-Gon's voice in AOTC does seem to indicate it). Anyway, the purpose of the story was to explain what Obi-Wan, Yoda and Anakin were all doing before they appeared - and as Qui-Gon isn't there, I didn't include him. And for all we know, others could learn the 'retaining identity' thing too. ;)

Anyway, thanks. :)

Author: Ani's girl
Date posted: 5/4/2003 12:40:26 AM
Ani's girl's Comments:

What can i say??
Excellent, Excellent!!
I loved every part of it. I liked the part when Anakin told Obi-Wan that he cut him in half.
A very sensitive scene, yet always brings a smile. Yoda is as cute as ever, hitting Anakin on the shin with his stick.
I also liked the way you described Vader's armour as consuming and tight. Kinda like the way with the dark side. His free flowing robes, provided the peace and calmness of the true Force.
Again, excellent job.

Author: Original Jedi
Date posted: 5/5/2003 10:12:29 AM
Original Jedi's Comments:

Your writing has filled me with emotion, superb!
Anakin came to life on the page and Bittersweet feelings the words provoked. In the end contentment. You have done well!

Author: Cat
Date posted: 5/6/2003 7:57:59 AM
Cat's Comments:'s another oba viggie! *claps* This was just beautiful.
I loved this line:
And the fact that he was able to forgive me, after all I had done, made me realize that my son was a Jedi. He was the last of the Jedi, but he had been taught well, and I knew the Order would not die with him. My son would never turn to the Dark, would never abuse his powers - he was a Jedi.

ah..that's my Luke. :)

And the Ani/Obi reunion *happy tears*
I love the cover art. That's on of my favourite Luke/Leia moments.

Author: Destiny  (signed)
Date posted: 5/9/2003 9:26:43 AM
Destiny's Comments:

Great job, Obaona! *sighs* I love happy endings! The cover art was wonderful. I liked the way you portrayed Anakin, and the ending sentence was perfect: "I smiled back." :p

It lets us know that Anakin is finally on the road towards being completely healed - he was too broken and in pain to smile during his years as Vader.

Keep writing! :p *grins*

Author: JediPug1  (signed)
Date posted: 5/14/2003 6:43:36 PM
JediPug1's Comments:

A wonderful little story! Nice work!

Author: billy
Date posted: 6/11/2003 2:52:42 AM
billy's Comments:

wow, that was AWESOME!!!!!! gave me chills to read this. hope to read more about what goes on in anakin's head, before and during his time as vader

Author: Rosy the Cat
Date posted: 6/24/2003 10:15:51 PM
Rosy the Cat's Comments:

Celebrate the love, YUB-YUB!

Very sweet story. Only thing is that it reminds me how put-out I am that Lucas took out the Yub-Yub song. Grr.


-- Rosy the Cat

Author: JediMasterMariana
Date posted: 9/10/2003 6:53:38 PM
JediMasterMariana's Comments:

Wonderful!It was great to know how Anakin returned and felt after he died.

Author: slimlee
Date posted: 12/20/2003 10:26:40 AM
slimlee's Comments:


Author: Arren Terrilon
Date posted: 8/5/2004 7:32:27 AM
Arren Terrilon's Comments:

very good story, i liked all the emotions that you portrayed anakin having

Author: Darth Haem
Date posted: 8/22/2004 4:50:31 PM
Darth Haem's Comments:

I have to say that was a really moving story, almost a shame we never saw this dialogue on-screne, when reading it I couldnt help but put Sir Alec Guiness' voice to Obi-wan in my mind.

It really makes Vaders return to grace feel like Anakin has come full circle back to innocence from evil 9.5/10

Author: swlover4life12  (signed)
Date posted: 8/27/2004 4:28:08 PM
swlover4life12's Comments:

good work

Author: isola-jedi-padawan  (signed)
Date posted: 3/24/2005 8:51:02 AM
isola-jedi-padawan's Comments:

That was fantastic and very moving- another great story by Obaona!

Author: amy
Date posted: 6/27/2005 4:06:24 AM
amy's Comments:

Great story!! I like it! but it's sad that Anakin's beloved wife: Padme Skywalker is not there with them.

Author: Clint
Date posted: 7/19/2005 6:05:42 AM
Clint's Comments:

Excellent read! So good to see anakin finding peace at last. a wonderful piece, to bad it wasn't in the movie.

Author: thebleetingnichodemus  (signed)
Date posted: 8/4/2005 7:48:08 PM
thebleetingnichodemus's Comments:

Loved it. I almost wrote something like this. I appreciated the descriptions of the shimmering Force. Very good. ; )

Author: Dustin
Date posted: 6/19/2006 3:24:48 PM
Dustin's Comments:

Wow, great story. A very emotionally powerful read.

Author: Dustin
Date posted: 6/19/2006 3:25:11 PM
Dustin's Comments:

Wow, great story. A very emotionally powerful read.

Author: jedigirl
Date posted: 10/24/2007 12:46:19 AM
jedigirl's Comments:

This was a really good fan-fiction. I had just finished reading the last of that trilogy(beginning with If I don't catch you) written by Julie when I clicked on random fiction and got this. I accidentally lost it and when looking for it. It took me hours because I was new to the site but I was so caught up with the story that I kept going till I found it again. anyway back to the point... THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I'VE EVER READ! I always wanted to see exactly how Obi-Wan and Anakin reconciled. Like I said this is really good.

Author: SJ_More
Date posted: 5/11/2009 10:02:16 AM
SJ_More's Comments:

Excellent story. I like how all the characters interacted with each other. Very intriguing!

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Archived: Monday, April 21, 2003

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