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Gungan to the left

Size Matters Not (G)

By : LadyElaine

Archived on: Monday, April 7, 2003

Can Master Nejaa Halcyon help a young Obi-Wan and Aayla Secura with their little green problem?

"Obi-Wan, we have lightsaber practice in the training room,? Aayla said in a worried voice. The Twi?lek girl had met Obi-Wan in the corridor along the way.

?Yes, Aayla, I know,? Obi-Wan muttered. Aayla Secura was a year younger--and almost a head shorter--than Obi-Wan, so young she wasn?t even in Yoda?s regular class yet. As with all boys his age, Obi-Wan considered anything smaller than himself--and worse yet, female--to be inferior.

?But Master Yoda?s in there,? Aayla said. ?And all the other padawans say he?s mean!?

?No he?s not,? Obi-Wan laughed. ?Master Yoda?s not a troll, stupid.?

?But he?s in the training room.?


?He?s in the doorway,? Aayla said.


?He?s meditating! ?

?Oh.? Obi-Wan?s steps faltered as they neared their assigned training room. Sure enough, situated in the middle of the doorway sat the diminutive Jedi Master. Yoda?s eyes were closed.

Obi-Wan and Aayla hid behind a nearby pillar and stared at the meditating master. ?Well, how are we supposed to get past him?? he wondered aloud. ?Doesn?t he know we?ve got practice in there??

Aayla nervously twined the tip of one of her blue lekku around her finger. ?I don?t know. You?re older than me--don?t you have any ideas??

Deliberately ignoring the girl?s sarcastic tone, Obi-Wan thought for a moment. ?Why don?t you just go ask him to move??

?Me?? she squeaked.

?Yes, you. Master Yoda really likes the little kids.?

Flushing dark blue, Aayla stood up straight, making herself as tall as she could. ?Fine, then,? she snapped. ?I will!?

If there was an award for flouncing, Obi-Wan said to himself, she?d win it.

Master Yoda didn?t so much as twitch an ear as the girl approached him. She stopped several feet away, trying to muster up the courage to speak.

Yoda?s right eye opened.

Aayla bolted.

?He looked at me!? she gasped when she huddled safe behind their pillar again, out of breath more from terror than exertion.

Girls, Obi-Wan snickered to himself. ?All right, I?ll go.?

?Well, what?ll you do??

?I?ll just walk around him,? Obi-Wan announced. ?You know what he always says--?Size matters not.? ? It was the famous Lecture. Even Aayla had heard it.

Obi-Wan ignored Aayla's look of scandalized disbelief and, trying not to swagger too much, he strode up to Master Yoda. But he too stopped before reaching the diminutive master.

Size matters not, Obi-Wan repeated to himself. The tiny master presented a huge problem, though. The training room door wasn?t very wide, and as every padawan knew, one did not simply walk that close to a master deep in meditation--not without risking the master?s peace, anyway.

And no one disturbed Master Yoda.

Obi-Wan peered into the room behind Yoda, where a pair of training remotes stood on their pedestals waiting to be used by the padawans. Then he looked down.

Yoda?s left eye opened.

Obi-Wan started in horror, and he found himself backpedaling frantically away to the safety of the pillar.

?I see what you mean,? he whispered to Aayla. ?He looked at me, too.?

?Is there a problem, youngsters?? came a voice behind them.

Obi-Wan and Aayla both jumped. They turned to see Master Nejaa Halcyon, a Corellian Jedi of some repute. Or disrepute, depending on how one looked at it.

?Well--? Aayla started to say.

?We?re supposed to be practicing in there,? Obi-Wan interrupted her, pointing into the training room.

?But Master Yoda?s--? Aayla tried again.

?He?s sitting in the middle of the doorway, and we can?t get past him, and we don?t know what to do!? Obi-Wan finished all in one breath.

?Hmm. This does seem to present quite a sizeable dilemma,? Master Halcyon said, his eyes twinkling. ?I assume you?ve already gotten The Lecture??

Both padawans nodded. ?Size matters not,? they said in practiced unison.

?Well, take heed, youngsters,? the Corellian said, raising one finger. ?Because that?s not always true. Watch and learn.?

Obi-Wan and Aayla followed on the Jedi?s heels as he approached Master Yoda. ?Excuse me, Master,? he said, ?but the kids here need to use the training room.?

Master Yoda remained still as stone, giving no sign that he'd heard a thing.

?Well, in that case...? Master Halcyon said...

Both Obi-Wan?s and Aayla?s jaws dropped as Master Halcyon picked Master Yoda up in both hands. Setting the wizened little Jedi Master down gently to one side, he waved the two padawans into the training room.

Obi-Wan glanced at Master Yoda. It didn?t seem he had moved a muscle, considering that he was now half a pace away from where he?d originally been.

?You see,? Master Halcyon said. ?Sometimes when you can?t get around a problem, you just have to move it out of the way. No matter how big an obstacle it is.? He walked into the room after them and, with a wink, murmured, ?Or small.?

As Master Halcyon left them to their training, an impossible sound drifted into the room from the corridor. Obi-Wan and Aayla stared at each other, agape in shock.

?Did you hear that?? Aayla whispered.


?Yeah. Me neither.?

A silent promise passed between them then. They would never, ever tell anyone what they had heard:

...the cackling laughter of a little green troll.

The End

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Fan Fiction Rating

Current Rating is 8.88 in 108 total ratings.

Reader Comments

Add a comment about this Fan Fiction

Author: Khalan
Date posted: 4/8/2003 3:30:43 AM
Khalan's Comments:

I think this little simple fanfic is really sweet and very innocent. Great. :D

Author: LadyElaine
Date posted: 4/8/2003 4:51:09 AM
LadyElaine's Comments:

This is the third in my continuing series of Star Wars fables. This one's based, of all things, on the Three Billy Goats Gruff!

Thanks to all the great betas who helped me out, especially the inexaustible Tycalibur, and thanks to FernWithy for the (as usual) terrific cover art!

Author: A-Wings Rule  (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 10:06:02 AM
A-Wings Rule's Comments:

This is great! Short but sweet.

Author: Siri Ruane
Date posted: 4/8/2003 11:19:30 AM
Siri Ruane's Comments:

Rock on! This is still great!

Author: Niki  (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 1:28:08 PM
Niki's Comments:

Absolutely adorable! :)

Author: Destiny  (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 1:45:54 PM
Destiny's Comments:

This was hilarious, LadyElaine! It's great how the littlest Jedi and the medium-sized Jedi had no luck with Yoda, but the biggest Jedi did - just like in The Three Billy Goats Gruff. I loved that story as a child, and this was even better.

Great job! :p

Author: Annalee  (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 2:55:38 PM
Annalee's Comments:

this is absolutely hilarious. spot on!

Author: bobill
Date posted: 4/8/2003 5:04:41 PM
bobill's Comments:

I don't think I will ever be able to look at Obi-Wan and Yoda together now without thinking of this and snorting milk through my nose or something... SO CUTE!!!

Author: messicat
Date posted: 4/8/2003 6:05:57 PM
messicat's Comments:

I love this story, it's a very adorable tale. Think I'll hunt out some more of your work.

Author: Darth Breezy  (signed)
Date posted: 4/8/2003 7:24:19 PM
Darth Breezy's Comments:

Beautiful! And a non angsty Obi-fic to boot!

"He looked at me!"

LOLOOOLOLOLL! Beautiful! Great contribution to the archives!

Author: SpawnOfThrawn
Date posted: 4/9/2003 8:46:28 AM
SpawnOfThrawn's Comments:

Awesome, I wan't more!

Author: Clutch D'Rofab
Date posted: 4/9/2003 10:04:26 AM
Clutch D'Rofab's Comments:

lol! Very cute. Well done.

...and it was nice to see some mention of one of those disreputable Corellian Jedi. Good tie-in.

Author: ltrey33
Date posted: 4/9/2003 12:11:15 PM
ltrey33's Comments:

Good fanfic...nice and innocent. Funny too!

Author: Tycalibur  (signed)
Date posted: 4/9/2003 3:59:40 PM
Tycalibur's Comments:

Lady Elaine,

Congrats on getting this adorable story Archived.
I really enjoyed it.


Author: DaRk_ShErV  (signed)
Date posted: 4/9/2003 4:47:19 PM
DaRk_ShErV's Comments:


Author: Tanara
Date posted: 4/9/2003 9:55:07 PM
Tanara's Comments:

HA HA!!!!
"Take heed, Youngsters," the Correlian said, "Because that's not always true. Watch and learn," HA HA HA!!!! Me and my friends love making fun of Yoda, and this embodies all of our meanest jokes, tee hee! WUNDERBAR!

Author: Cobrablade
Date posted: 4/10/2003 7:52:29 AM
Cobrablade's Comments:

This amuses me.

Author: Jedi-jae
Date posted: 4/10/2003 12:51:23 PM
Jedi-jae's Comments:

"He looked at me!"


Wonderful, Lady Elaine!

Author: Barissa Enoch
Date posted: 4/10/2003 1:11:27 PM
Barissa Enoch's Comments:

Oh! L.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooo glad that you were able to get it archived! I am so proud! (I beta-ed for those who don't know) hehe! Congrats!


Author: Robin_BeeBee
Date posted: 4/10/2003 4:46:28 PM
Robin_BeeBee's Comments:

Tehe!That was cute and funny all at once! Even before you said that they heard Yoda laughing, I could hear his little troll chuckle in my head. That was great, I always love a story that leaves me giggling

Author: Nade_Naberrie  (signed)
Date posted: 4/10/2003 5:50:13 PM
Nade_Naberrie's Comments:

Lady Elaine,
Hehe so true! "He looked at me!" is so fitting for a little girl! Too cute.

Author: Lord Bane Kronos
Date posted: 4/13/2003 10:40:19 PM
Lord Bane Kronos's Comments:

I thought it was somthing master yoda would have done

Author: NaomiOrgana  (signed)
Date posted: 4/14/2003 7:11:43 AM
NaomiOrgana's Comments:

Awwww! That was very cute and really funny too. Loved it.

Author: jedisister
Date posted: 4/15/2003 4:05:37 PM
jedisister's Comments:

That was really cute!! And very funny!! Great job!

Author: D@ve
Date posted: 4/16/2003 1:59:35 AM
D@ve's Comments:

It was...hmmm,... it wasn`t bad. Funny, yes, indeed :)

Author: Blazer
Date posted: 4/18/2003 5:49:08 PM
Blazer's Comments:

That was really good! I loved the way your portrayed young Obi-Wan! It was great!

Author: squeakychair101r
Date posted: 4/19/2003 10:33:03 AM
squeakychair101r's Comments:

That was a funny story. I loved the one line when Master Haycyon picked up Yoda and moved him. LOL, I can imagine that happening. Hehe, keep it up.

Author: Jaina01
Date posted: 4/19/2003 8:06:23 PM
Jaina01's Comments:

Wow, I betaed this story. I really enjoyed it when I beta read it and I still like to come back and read it a lot. Keep up the good writing!


P.S. Good job!

Author: supreme chancellor sidious
Date posted: 4/20/2003 5:40:52 PM
supreme chancellor sidious's Comments:

That story was VERY funny.
Good job!

Author: Princess Beccerz
Date posted: 4/25/2003 6:35:07 AM
Princess Beccerz's Comments:

Tee hee! Wow, cute! good job Lady E!

Author: anonomus
Date posted: 6/13/2003 1:07:17 PM
anonomus's Comments:

A very amusing story. I wish there were more humor stories in the arcive.

Author: Darkness Himself
Date posted: 6/20/2003 1:11:04 PM
Darkness Himself's Comments:

This story is much better (in my opinion) than your newer one (Jabba's Good Looks, i think). I like this very much.

Author: Darth Viridian
Date posted: 3/2/2004 9:09:55 PM
Darth Viridian's Comments:

This was perhaps the cutest story I've ever read. Made even better since the two main cahrs are my favorite jedi!

This would have made Darth Maul cry with laughter.

Author: Lost Jedi
Date posted: 11/11/2004 10:21:48 PM
Lost Jedi's Comments:

That was funny!

Author: ObiWanGreatestJedi2688
Date posted: 6/23/2005 2:07:31 AM
ObiWanGreatestJedi2688's Comments:

Lmao. That's great. It's funny how you made Yoda laugh at the end. The laugh we all know from Episode V when he first meets Luke.

Author: Lord_Thrawn
Date posted: 9/22/2005 5:15:23 AM
Lord_Thrawn's Comments:

Yes, very good and humorous. I don't suppose that any of you noticed that "Halcyon" I believe was Corran Horn's adopted father. I like how you put him in there. :D

Author: 1-800-jedigirl
Date posted: 2/2/2006 3:24:43 PM
1-800-jedigirl's Comments:

please make it stop im to young to die laughing

Author: MasterYodaRlz
Date posted: 3/10/2006 5:23:36 AM
MasterYodaRlz's Comments:

This is a very sweet fic. I loved it!

P.S A Yoda fic!!!!!!!!!! Finally

Author: lena
Date posted: 12/4/2006 5:37:25 PM
lena's Comments:

first of all it was a funny fic but i completely disagree with the fact that you give the opinoin of older padawans seeing younger,especially Females as inferior to them, nowhere in the jedi forums that the original authors say anything of gender being a factor in ability; size matters not, it is ability not age, and the force can be in anyone male or female. so watch what you say this isn't the dark ages. otherwise good story

Author: frodogenic
Date posted: 11/4/2007 11:21:51 PM
frodogenic's Comments:

Um...above commenter, I think you rather missed the point of the beginning of the story. Little kids have no perception of political correctness...which is why it's so darn funny.

Wonderful little story! I love funny young Obi-Wan stories. :)

Author: Nefadar  (signed)
Date posted: 12/31/2007 4:07:19 AM
Nefadar's Comments:


Yesterday I found your fan fiction - Size Matters Not (G) - , and i read it. That was brilliant, I love it. Can I translate to Hungary and publication on and a Hungarian Star Wars site? Thank you for your answer,


Author: Bri
Date posted: 2/7/2016 9:51:19 AM
Bri's Comments:

A little bit funny, but edit it, and try to add an adult joke or two. I liked it though.

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Archived: Monday, April 7, 2003

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