Date posted: 7/22/2003 3:41:34 AM
This is a great fanfic. I like the way you delve into Vaders feelings about Obi-wan.
Date posted: 7/22/2003 4:05:17 AM
intresting story... but I think your making vader overact too much emotion, hes not William shatner, hes Vader. but thanks for the story
Date posted: 7/22/2003 6:27:10 AM
Very interesting and very original idea ! This is the kind of story that will eventualy achieve tne connection between the two trilogies. Great work pal !
Date posted: 7/22/2003 7:40:25 AM
Nice story. You have the ability to go into the thoughts and feelings of your characters and bring them to life.
Having said that, I don't think that Vader really gave any thought to how Obi Wan died, just that he was finally dead.
You could link this story to one on how Vadar feels when he learns that the child was his own that Obi Wan sacrificed for. Vadar does have conflicting emotion about his son.
Author: Jedi Knight Safira Felan
Date posted: 7/22/2003 9:26:04 AM
Jedi Knight Safira Felan's Comments:
Wow! What a great story! I think you really hit on the head how Vader could have felt killing his old master. Sith Lord he may have been, but he had that spot of light in him he just couldn't get rid of. That part of him had to have hurt when he killed Obi-Wan. I love how you went into his emotions. Great job. (And I would love to read a story about Vader finding out that those children Obi-Wan sacrificed himself for were his.)
Author: Sars Wars
Date posted: 7/22/2003 9:50:07 AM
Sars Wars's Comments:
Not bad at all. I think you need to work on your verb tense though. You also contradict yourself. Vader doesn't want to feel pain but later you say that he must thrive on it. This is a little confusing. Nice try, keep on writing, your ideas are good!
Date posted: 7/22/2003 10:46:50 AM
Javier said that you made Vader over-react emotionally. I think not. When you think of the Old Trilogy Vader, I can see how you'd think that, but when you think of the New Trilogy Anikin you can see the over reacting part of him. And the death of Obi Wan is the one thing that could bring that side of Vader out.
Author: Varth Dader
Date posted: 7/22/2003 12:14:02 PM
Varth Dader's Comments:
I like how he calls him Palpatine and Darth Sidious.
Author: Lord Panch
Date posted: 7/22/2003 1:50:50 PM
Lord Panch's Comments:
I agree disagree with the comment about shatner.. you're talking about a bunch of whiners that talked too much.. yes, he is vader... but he was once Skywalker.. and boy.. that kid could whine with the best of em..
so this is totally plausable..
Cheers.. and thnx
Author: Aayla Skywalker
Date posted: 7/22/2003 5:21:59 PM
Aayla Skywalker's Comments:
Great story!!! It made me think of what was really going through Vader's mind when he saw his old master get cut down...I think you got Sidious and Palpy mixed up, I have an idea we will be seeing Sidious get killed in EP 3...Bravo and great story!!!
Author: annie_ 45
Date posted: 7/23/2003 10:54:37 AM
annie_ 45's Comments:
awesome!!! story i loved it i wish i could write something like that. but ineed a few beta readers .....well great story make somemore!!!
Date posted: 8/4/2003 1:29:16 PM
Hello, hello. This is the writer checking in. *smiles*
First off, I need to thank my two beta readers: Kate Hiller, whose comments were priceless; and obaona, who tore this thing apart for me and helped me put it back together. Your comments were essential to getting this piece into the archives, oba, and I couldn't have done it without you. *hugs*
Second, a million thanks to my cover artist, Collin. He's my best friend here and did a great job. *more hugs*
Thank you for the comments, my friends! I'm glad you liked it. As for Vader's reaction, I have this to say: I do believe Vader would feel this. He was once Anakin Skywalker, the boy who wanted his Master's love, and I believe Vader retained that. I don't think GL did a great job of crossing the bridge between ANH Vader and ROTJ Vader. He needed a bit more... I don't know, heartbreak and confusion. This maybe explained that.
And once again, thank you.
Author: dark armored one
Date posted: 8/8/2003 9:30:48 PM
dark armored one's Comments:
I am sorry, but, it is obvious that you incorporated alot of your own personality and language patterns into this story, and not enough of those of Vader. You actually made Vader seem like an immature adolescent. Try looking over Shadows of the Empire again, it is the best book that explores Vader's emotions. Please don't get me wrong, your writing skills were good, the story just was not all that convincing.
Date posted: 8/28/2003 7:33:18 PM
I think this story is excellant. It creates similarities to the man and the machine. It also shows that even an evil man like Vader, could have very well be that little boy on Tatooine. The slave no one but his mother cared for. The chosen one that no one understood. Very well written!
Date posted: 10/4/2003 5:45:10 PM
Wow. That was good.
Author: The Cleric 007
Date posted: 12/2/2003 8:23:11 PM
The Cleric 007's Comments:
Wow, that was just amazing! You are such a good writer. And such a unique viewpoint. I never really thought about how Vader felt after killing Obi-Wan.
That was just beautiful.
Author: Greenleaf from LakeRetreat
Date posted: 12/9/2003 1:16:12 AM
Greenleaf from LakeRetreat's Comments:
Great. And frightening. Thanks a lot for this.
Date posted: 1/18/2004 7:18:59 PM
This whole story seems a little contrived to me.
I did like the part about him describing himself as a machine though. But i doubt he feared Emperor palpatine. I think the writer made Vader a little too emotional if he had been more subtle it wold have been better
Date posted: 6/17/2004 9:30:59 AM
I'm not signed in, I know, but it is me.
This is just another note to thank obaona for the beautiful new cover she made for me. Thank you, oba!
Author: Darth Haem
Date posted: 8/22/2004 4:11:53 PM
Darth Haem's Comments:
Thanks for that. It was a good effort, although I think by the time of episode IV Vader had lost alot of his immaturity & lack of control. The loss of his body & 20yrs as a Sith I think would have changed him alot more than this internal monologue suggests. By then he had alot more self-control & discipline as the evil Vader. In your story he still sounds like a 19yr old Anakin, not a more seasoned / experienced middle aged Vader. I think this same musing of vader after his duel was handled a bit more realisticaly in one of the other fan-fictions on this site "A trophy, no more" see what you think - I invite a discussion to compare these two approaches to this scene
Still, it was a great story & alot better than anything I could ever write!
Date posted: 11/12/2004 10:50:32 AM
This was a very good story. As a VERY big Anakin fan I think you captured his inner turmoil well. And, I disagree with those who say that he sounded like 19 year old Anakin. When you read the original trilogy, Darth Vader still has conflicting feelings about what he is doing. After the destruction of Aleraan he remembers the many cities, towns, and people that died there. He then has to remind himself that they were rebels, not innocents. I also think that when Darth Vader reminded the Emperor that Luke was only a boy, that he wanted to spare Luke some suffering. If he was completely cold hearted he wouldn't have bothered. I have always felt that the part of the Anakin that remained, regreted killing Obi-wan. Anyway, I could keep going, but I've rambled long enough. Great story! Keep writing.
Author: Jedi Misha
Date posted: 5/22/2005 5:10:15 PM
Jedi Misha's Comments:
Wow..great job on making Darth Vader feel emotions that he hadn't feel the passing of Padme. Keep it up!
Date posted: 12/2/2005 9:43:41 AM
I didn't enjoy it.
The character is nothing like Vader.
Also, rage and fear ARE emotions. And the Sith aren't meant to deny emotion - that is the way of the Jedi. The Sith embrace emotion.
Some of the writing was poor too.