Date posted: 3/1/2005 10:55:19 AM
This is so eloquently written, VadersMistress. You truly captured the fears of both the Master and the Padawan, but the hopelessness of the Master, trying so desperately to get his Padawan to safety and knowing all the while that his attempts are futile, is the most heartbreaking element of this story. While sad, the imagery of the sunrise at the end was beautiful and added a sense of hope. An excellent story.
Date posted: 3/1/2005 2:29:17 PM
Bravo! This is one of the best stories I have ever read! Keep up the great work!
Date posted: 3/2/2005 3:24:25 PM
Were you just grabbing a location out of thin air? This isn't a flame, I was just wondering why there?
The rest was written ok, except for the point above and this sentences:
"He is confident, arrogant. The man I could hate, if I weren't a Jedi, is coming in."
But I guess that just me.
Thanks for writing this.
Author: Anna S.
Date posted: 3/2/2005 6:02:04 PM
Anna S.'s Comments:
Aw...that was so sad....good job, though. I liked it ^_^
Date posted: 3/2/2005 10:12:50 PM
Not very original, I feel that this could have had a much more tense feeling as Vader closes in.
EDIT: Please remember to only use constructive criticism.
Date posted: 3/6/2005 2:42:56 PM
You know how much I love this one! If you're writing this well at your age, I can't imagine what you'll be doing in ten years! Bravo!
Date posted: 3/7/2005 7:55:55 AM
Wow. That was great. A nice, tight short short story. I wish I could write that well again...
Keep up the good work!
Date posted: 3/9/2005 6:38:45 AM
Wow, that was awesome. Heart-wrenching.
It gives me bittersweet feelings about whether I want to watch Episode 3 and watch all the Jedi die. I mean, I'm going to, I'll be there opening night but I know I will cry. Just like I've wanted to do while reading this.
Author: Lt. Tara Farrago
Date posted: 3/9/2005 3:07:58 PM
Lt. Tara Farrago's Comments:
For a vignette, it's okay. You obviously have talent as a writer, and you should never stop honing those skills. I would have liked this story a lot more if the characters were less annonymous and little better developed - this would mean adding length, but the idea driving this story is good enough that it deserves more fleshing out.
Date posted: 3/15/2005 7:18:08 AM
Loved it! Very powerful and moving. In fact, I loved the whole series you posted on the boards. Great work.
Date posted: 3/16/2005 9:29:48 PM
Wonderful! I loved it. I could really feel the sadness in the Master. Keep up the good work!
Date posted: 3/17/2005 12:02:59 PM
This is a little late coming and I apologize for that. But hey, better late than never, eh?
First I would like to thank all of my wonderful betas. SarkaVrae, Gina, NadeNaberrie, VaderLVR64, and Jemmiah. I appreciate all of the hard work you did for me. Without you, I would not have gotten into the archives and I know that.
All of the wonderful Archive Reviewers: Thank you so much for giving me the honor of being accepted into the archives. (And on my first try too!) :)
To the Mods: Yes, you all are a scary bunch, but you're appreciated and I want you to know that. (Now will you leave the Teenage thread alone? :) )And thanks for answering all of my foolish questions!!
And a very big thank you to SmugglerShidakis for doing some of the best coverart I've ever seen. I can't thank you enough for doing it for me.
Last, but certainly not least, I would like to thank my Mom, VaderLVR64, for encouraging me (if not forcing me) to submit this piece. I love you! You're my best friend and I want you to know this. (Even if we do want to lash out each other at times.) But hey, that's want we do. And we haven't killed each other yet, so that's gotta say something. :) Thank you! I love you!
I thank you all immensely. I have a horrible feeling I left someone out, and if I did I am so sorry. I appreciate every single person (and animal) that helped me with this piece. I never would have been accepted (or even submitted it) without you guys! I love you all.
Date posted: 3/22/2005 11:20:48 AM
Congrats on getting in on your first try! I'm glad I could help you a little with the beta work.
This is a great story & I'm proud of you for submitting it! keep up the good work girl! :)
Date posted: 4/8/2005 6:55:03 AM
First try? Wow! Congrats! A nice, powerful piece that bring home how very painful the purges will be.
Date posted: 4/9/2005 5:00:20 PM
I could be wrong, but doesn't Anakin purge the Temple before he becomes Vader? That's the impression I've gotten, but a lot of people seem to think otherwise...
Date posted: 4/10/2005 6:47:16 AM
I liked it, I can imagine just this thing happening over and over again during the purges.
Author: Shaak Ti
Date posted: 4/10/2005 6:51:36 PM
Shaak Ti's Comments:
I love this story, it needs to be longer though, I wanta know exactly what happens to the Padawan!!!
Author: Darth Ravenous
Date posted: 4/12/2005 6:10:58 PM
Darth Ravenous's Comments:
Very touching and very good.
Author: jedi apprentice
Date posted: 1/18/2006 5:11:38 PM
jedi apprentice's Comments:
a very moving story. you got the feelings of the master and padawan very good. its my favorite so far. if you can write like this now imagine how good you'll be years from now. :) keep writing
Date posted: 10/23/2007 2:53:32 PM
I don't remember this, but what a wonderful fic. I feel so much for the master. His wanting, hoping his padawan to escape but thinking she might not get far.
Date posted: 1/30/2011 10:17:10 PM
I love it, the ending especially. 'I am one with the Force now, as the sun rises.' It really captured the mood of the story.