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Gungan to the left


Reader Comments on "But"

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Author: Darth Foutzious
Date posted: 2/18/2002 8:28:55 PM
Darth Foutzious's Comments:

Let's see, um, good story, but, uh, WHY WHY WHY WHY and WHY again?! I *really* like this fic. REALLY! But why make it so sad? You know, it needs a sequel. Yeah. I think a sequel would make it all much better. There you go! Right a sequel, and it won't seem so sad. A sequel will be like some kleenex. :)

Author: Ki-Adi Mundi
Date posted: 2/19/2002 7:02:25 AM
Ki-Adi Mundi's Comments:

Ok, this is a good story, but as with many Star Wars stories, they are in many parts, rarely alone. I agree with the previous comment, it needs a sequel, mostly because it appears to take place BEFORE 'The Phantom Menace', where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are together again. Perhaps this seperation is not a permanent one. Perhaps it is by way of testing both master and apprentice for a greater destiny in the Jedi order, and Obi-Wan is in on it.

Author: Gotmilk
Date posted: 2/19/2002 1:41:02 PM
Gotmilk's Comments:

Excellent story, but yikes. Price cuts? lol I'm thinking sequel here... Oh come on, you know you want to. :)

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 2/19/2002 3:22:04 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

Thank you for your wonderful words. It is always encouraging to find people that actually read the story.
I must apologize if it wasn't clear. This story is alternate universe so Qui-Gon would not be returning to the Temple by the time of TPM. (I did click the AU button when I submitted the story but it must have gone astray). Sorry...

As for a sequel, everyone I've shown this story to seems to have the same reaction - sequel. But, as with life, stories don't always have a happy ending. Look at TPM! Qui-Gon dies - how much sadder can that be? So let our hero go into the darkness and remember him - a Jedi to the last.

Diane

Author: Saria
Date posted: 2/20/2002 10:06:24 AM
Saria's Comments:

This story made so much sense I started laughing!

Old Palpy's getting rid of the Jedi through the Senate!


Ohhh.... this is brilliant.....

I think it needs a sequel too. Like he moves to Tattooine and finds an apprentice who's a slave in Mos Espa...

Author: Jetfiespam
Date posted: 2/20/2002 11:37:50 AM
Jetfiespam's Comments:

It was a good story, but it seemed to borrow heavily from "For the Record" by Quiller, without going into the same depth. "For the Record" was also more sad and tragic, and had the benefit of almost fitting in Star Wars Continuity. Still, a good effort, and the idea of layoffs and cost-cutting procedure in the Jedi Order is a nice touch.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 2/20/2002 2:37:16 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

I agree that Quiller's story "For the Record" is wonderful and, in my opinion, one of the best stories on this archive.
However, there was no borrowing. I wrote "But" before I had ever read Quiller's (I posted my story to another archive at about the same time as Quiller posted hers here). I agree that the similarity of the hero being forced to leave the Temple is the same, but the approach, reasons and results are quite different.I guess it depends upon your point of view.

Thanks for letting everyone know about Quiller's work. She's great.
Diane

Author: patch  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 2:14:51 AM
patch's Comments:

i think this story was brilliant, and very well written. jedi cost cutting lol.
There should be a sequel where qui gon joins a union that encourages all the jedi to go on strike until management reinstates the redundant jedi.
maybe include some anti-unionist jedi who cross the picket line to safeguard there own jobs, lol

Author: Zahn_Matrix  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 6:48:53 AM
Zahn_Matrix's Comments:

Wow. I've cycled through about a dozen fanfics so far, and this is the best one I've read yet.

And oh yeah...SEQUAL!

Author: Mcily Nochi  (signed)
Date posted: 2/21/2002 9:55:54 AM
Mcily Nochi's Comments:

A very well written story. It was perfect is most ways, except that I found the premise a bit shaky. Part of what I love about the Jedi is that they have a very strong sense of loyalty and togetherness. I can't see them breaking that, even if the Senate tells them too. Though perhaps that was the point you were trying to get across, that the Jedi had decayed so much they would abandon their own. Perhaps it was best Qui-Gon left in that case, and should have taken Obi-Wan with him.

Author: ESPayne
Date posted: 2/21/2002 1:24:16 PM
ESPayne's Comments:

I thought the story was cool. I expected more anger from Qui Gon, though. I can't believe he would leave his Jedi robes. I think this could continue into a story of Jedi banding together to overthrow the corrupt government. This could be a reason that Palpatine could pull off the Jedi Purge, with public support. Also could be a reason for so many storm trooper garrisons and Star Destroyers in the galaxy. They could have been put there to protect the public from roving bands of Jedi terrorists. I've always wondered how the Jedi were killed off. The people would have to WANT them gone. Sorry this got so long! I really just meant to say I liked your story! Thanks!

Author: KenobisGirl
Date posted: 2/21/2002 3:29:51 PM
KenobisGirl's Comments:

*Sob* How sad! I didn't quite expect Qui to just give in. I thought he was going to try his hardest to fight... Great story, and it's just crying for a sequel!

Author: Belle Bayard  (signed)
Date posted: 2/22/2002 4:04:44 AM
Belle Bayard's Comments:

Excellent. Yes, it does beg a sequel, but I bow to the author's decision. With the decay of the Jedi, I could see the Senate telling the Order they must cut back on personnel. After spending twenty years in the Navy, I've seen this happening before. So, while the Jedi are considered by some a religious order, they must have some financial obligations to the government (perhaps like the Knight Templars in not so merry old England). I don't the author could have ended it any other way but the way she did. Job well done. And if you [b]do[/] decide to do a sequel, I certainly wouldn't object. :)

Author: Thaltos
Date posted: 2/22/2002 9:41:48 AM
Thaltos's Comments:

Quigon is Downsized!!! Bummer...Been there. Done that. Great Fic. Much like the Ronin Samurai of feudal Japan. Although they were allowed to keep their swords.
I think a sequel is in order, perhaps where quigon builds a new sabre and becomes a mercenary, yet still upholding jedi ideals.
Thanks for the time!!

Author: Lai-Gonns
Date posted: 2/24/2002 3:30:26 AM
Lai-Gonns's Comments:

Cool fic! Well written, fast paced, and you got the characters just right...

But I agree with everybody else: Sequel!!!...Even your title suggests it. "But"...how about a sequel titled "but what?"...Nevermind that lol!

Congrats...it's very good...Keep it up

Author: Sinlock-Shad-dow
Date posted: 2/25/2002 7:16:54 PM
Sinlock-Shad-dow's Comments:

Most of the people covered what I would have had to say.
All but one thing.
Were was Yoda during all this. Being that all the Jedi at one point in there lives learned under Yoda. He is no were to be seen during this.

Expecily if Mace is going too. (Or did I miss read that) "If it's any consolation, I will be leaving tomorrow"

Also it is 100% up to the reader to see any hidden meaning into the "Discharges"

On a lighter note....I loved "I'm takeing the Boots"

Author: Quiller  (signed)
Date posted: 2/28/2002 12:11:54 PM
Quiller's Comments:

For some reason, I love reading the comments on other authors' fics, not just my own. Imagine my surprise when I saw my name mentioned here. :-)

Diane, you already know I like this story. I enjoyed it the first time I read it, and it was a good read the second time, as well. Except, I laughed more this time around. Not because of the story, but because of the idea - so original, and so plausibly ludicrous that it truly was ... funny. The story itself was wonderfully written, and as you pointed out, is quite different from mine in tone and particulars. Way to go.

Author: jetfirespam
Date posted: 3/2/2002 12:40:09 PM
jetfirespam's Comments:

My apologies on implying that Diane plagarized in any way from "For the Record". I am such a Sith, focusing only on the negative side of things and allowing the Dark Side to take control. I'm working on that, really, and I've managed to limit the number of Jedi who stab me each month down from 12 to an average of 6.

One of the more interesting aspects of the story was seeing Qui-Gon's reaction to being expelled from the Jedi Order, considering how much of a rogue he has been throughout his career. I have no doubt he'll do well on his own, and I really don't think a sequel necessary.

I like Diane's ability to put us in Qui-Gon's shoes, without resorting to 1st person narration or even stream-of-consciousness style passages. The audience is successfully given a look at the situation from Qui-Gon's perspective, without being cut off from the various other characters. A very nice job.

One more criticism I have though, is for the title. In my opinion, "But..." would have been a much better title than "But". Those three little dots can make a big difference...

Author: UrbanJedi  (signed)
Date posted: 3/5/2002 6:33:14 AM
UrbanJedi's Comments:

I really liked this story. I'm sitting here at work, crying like a 12 year old girl with a skinned knee. Not really, but it was really good. Thanks for sharing.

Author: Livia Starkiller
Date posted: 3/7/2002 2:51:59 PM
Livia Starkiller's Comments:

*Tears stream down my face* How could you do such a thing? How could you send Qui-Gon out into the galaxy without a sequel??!!! I do understand your reasons for not posting a sequel though..part of me still screams for a follow up! Qui-Gon is one of my favorite Jedi and it hurts me to see him fired.
AT least we can look on the bright side.... Darth Maul cannot get a hold of him on Naboo anymore, can he? He may live a happy long life as a pirate..or a ballroom dance instructor...whatever!! Great Fanfic!

Author: starpuff
Date posted: 3/10/2002 10:53:53 AM
starpuff's Comments:

You people are so sad! Why do you write sad stories? (Even though I liked it!) Write a sequal! PLEASE!

Note: Some one should write one about Anakin leaving the order for or because of Padame!

Author: Fett42
Date posted: 3/19/2002 7:36:32 AM
Fett42's Comments:

Excellent story! No complaints! I do think a sequel would be nice, to show how he either survives or gets back into the Temple, yet it is not necessary. The title drew me in, although I agree that a "..." after would have made it better. Yet most of all, I liked the way you hinted back at the beginning at the very end -- or was that hinting ahead at the beginning? -- when Qui-Gon repeats the same thing at the very beginning and in the last paragraph. A simple technique, but an effective one.

Keep up the great work!

Author: Darth Sheep
Date posted: 3/23/2002 1:24:56 PM
Darth Sheep's Comments:

One word, two syllables:
SEQ-UAL ;)

Author: JustMe
Date posted: 4/8/2002 12:02:47 AM
JustMe's Comments:

Were you recently downsized..? Read like you had a similar experience in the first person. So Qui-Gonn hooks up with Windu and starts a consulting agency catering to planetary governments directly and later hires jedi away from the temple? This could be interesting. Keep up the good work.









Author: padawan jabitha
Date posted: 5/16/2002 6:26:47 AM
padawan jabitha's Comments:

cool story of jedi to civilian, but how does qui-gon-jinn go from civilian back to jedi? the others suggestions are right. this DOES need a sequel. namely how qui-gon becomes a jedi again.
but the story is still good.

Author: Ivy
Date posted: 5/29/2002 8:50:41 AM
Ivy's Comments:

This was kinda sad and the even sadder part was that it made sense the whole cutting budget stuff. Never once though about how they got money to do the stuff they do if it's for free (their service)
I disagree, this doesn't need a sequal. It's sad and touching and a sequal would change that.
Ivy

Author: darthwebb
Date posted: 6/3/2002 11:24:30 AM
darthwebb's Comments:

moremoremoremore what happens next ?

Author: Obi-wan's Admirer
Date posted: 6/4/2002 4:57:01 PM
Obi-wan's Admirer's Comments:

You definatly need a sequel, for Obi-wan's and Qui-gon. Think of there feelings! Perhaps, as suggested before, make it a test where the Jedi Counsel wants to test the bonds of master and padawan. Have Obi-Wan leave the temple, supposedly on a mission, and have him go to Qui-gon! Then the Jedi Counsel will go after Obi-Wan, make them run into each other in the temple, where the Counsel threatens not to make Obi-Wan a jedi knight. Then Obi-Wan will feel torn, but in the end have him swear his devotion to Qui-Gon, even if it means leaving the Jedi Order.

Author: Palpatine
Date posted: 6/15/2002 5:18:16 PM
Palpatine's Comments:

This is a pretty cool story. I never knew Jedi got pension checks... damn them

Author: Lau-ra Anu
Date posted: 6/18/2002 8:24:39 AM
Lau-ra Anu's Comments:

That was awesome! Everyone else is asking for a sequal...sequel....sequil...how ever you spell it... anyway, everyone else has been asking for one, and I want one too! I think that Qui-Gon should end up on Tatooine, and train Anakin. Someone probably already said that, but that's what I think.

Author: Nad-To Ann, Jedi Master
Date posted: 8/1/2002 4:45:53 PM
Nad-To Ann, Jedi Master's Comments:

Um...really great story but...um...don't you think that...well, it REALLY NEEDS a sequel? Seperating Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon forever is so sad. I mean, a year, maybe, but FOREVER? Please write a sequel! PLEASE?!

Author: force master
Date posted: 8/5/2002 2:45:17 AM
force master's Comments:

i really liked this story! it was really sad, but very clever! i disagree about the sequal for 2 reasons. first, because since it was an AU i think it is fine the way it is. Plus, i dont think there is enough to make a second story without sounding lame, as most sequals are. but i think the ending could have been better if it informed us what would happen. what was it that qui chose to do? did obi pass? things like that. that is why everyone is screaming sequal! ;)

Author: Christy
Date posted: 8/13/2002 3:47:23 PM
Christy's Comments:

Way Way Way to sad and kind of well mournful.I don't think I like it at all because I love the character of Qui-Gon and that is as bad as him dying.

Author: fiona
Date posted: 10/26/2002 12:34:08 PM
fiona's Comments:

WOW.This was a really cool story.I was sucked in straight away.I just kept reading down the page and came to the words "the end" and it took a while to sink in.I guess thats just really good storytelling when u dont want the story to end.Im sure u could hear me screaming from wherever u are when i realised i had really finished it.Im going to be different and say not write a sequal.It will drive me mad to never no what happened but it is an ending and a damn good one!Dont ruin a good thing!

Author: Darth Hunter
Date posted: 10/27/2002 5:21:04 AM
Darth Hunter's Comments:

It was a great story, yes, and i really liked it. But it needs a sequel. Sure Qui-gon die in PM, but Obi-wan and Anikin lived. It was a beggining, even if there was a end to Qui-gon's life.
Great story.

Author: ewanobiwan  (signed)
Date posted: 1/2/2003 1:47:26 PM
ewanobiwan's Comments:

This was a really good story. Really sad too. I loved it though! I agree with everyone else, what this really needs is a sequel(sp?)! lol. But you did a great job and I thoroughly enjoyed this little story.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 1/7/2003 4:21:38 PM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

Okay, okay, everyone. I've finally given in. I am currently writing a sequel but it will be some time before it is finished (it's up to 45 pages and only at the midpoint right now - I'm a very slow writer). When it is done, I will try and get it into the FFA but can't guarantee anything since this is a juried site and the judges have final say (as is proper). If you want to read what I've written so far, let me know and I will send you the URL.

Thanks for all of your comments. They've really been great!

Diane

Author: hmmm...
Date posted: 1/17/2003 11:51:17 PM
hmmm...'s Comments:

i did not like this story...too sad...WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE?!

Author: Ray Kenobi
Date posted: 2/22/2003 9:51:35 AM
Ray Kenobi's Comments:

I think this story was a little too much because of the way Qui-Gon goes, there is no heroic kind of sense to him as there always was in every story i've read of him. When it says in the story that Mace tells Qui-Gon to give up his lightsaber Qui-on would be able to build another lightsaber. so that did not really do anything to help the story, and well i just think that it was harsh to not let Qui-Gon watch Obi-Wan pass the trials to become a Jedi master. Apart from the things i just criticized i think this was a good book and you have the potential to be a good writer if you wanted to pursue it.

Author: Tanara
Date posted: 3/12/2003 9:56:05 PM
Tanara's Comments:

You didn't <i>say</i> why, but you also didn't need to: Palpatine's influence over the senate was strong even before he was elected Supreme Chancellor. He was charismatic, enigmatic, and overall: Easily believed. He would want the Jedi to be diminished to add ease to his insidious plan to take over the Republic, so he would probably influence (with the Dork-- I mean, Dark Side) the Senate to order the Council to cut back. Am I right? Wonderful angst ;-)

Author: Nemesis  (signed)
Date posted: 3/26/2003 11:38:50 AM
Nemesis's Comments:

Nice work. I agree with the rest. SEQUEL!!

Author: fortytwo03
Date posted: 4/14/2003 7:23:35 PM
fortytwo03's Comments:

Poor Obi and Qui! And such a good job of taking an unlikely premise and turning it into a very believable story. Definitely the beginning of the end for the Jedi Order - maybe it's all for the best that Qui-Gon got out when he did.

Author: Diane Kovalcin
Date posted: 4/15/2003 4:16:41 AM
Diane Kovalcin's Comments:

For those who are interested, the sequel is currently being written and is posted (as soon as I write it) on the fan fiction boards. I can't do links for anything.
It's on "The Saga Forum" as Betrayal by dianethx. Hope you enjoy it.

Diane

Author: Senator Leia  (signed)
Date posted: 6/15/2003 8:42:50 PM
Senator Leia's Comments:

<Sob, sob, sniff, sniff> How sad!! great but sad we need a sepuel!

Author: DarthyVader
Date posted: 7/21/2003 10:34:18 AM
DarthyVader's Comments:

Well, I've been waiting for a year for this sequal. And it was the will of the Force that I stumbled over the part-sequal on that web site. Please, I am begging you. finish the sequal fast. When you ask for Beta-readers, just say that it is the sequal of 'But', and i guarantee you, the Beta-readers will come in droves, on their hands and knees, begging you to let them Beta-read it! I am doing that right now. I am dieing to know what happens!

Author: Madie
Date posted: 8/16/2003 2:43:21 AM
Madie's Comments:

Very well Written But sad *out of interest What Type of rock did Qui-gon Give Obi-wan?*

Author: Port
Date posted: 8/26/2003 6:47:05 AM
Port's Comments:

Talented writing. But I keep waiting for the punch-line. It reads like a humor piece, except for the end. The effect is jarring and disturbing. Maybe it's a parable for contemporary corporate culture?

Author: Kate
Date posted: 10/21/2003 5:42:45 PM
Kate's Comments:

Y'know, on a funny note, some friends of mine and I went to the premier of the Two Towers movie dressed as the Nazgul (the nine Black Riders, for any non-Tolkien freaks out there). Unfortunately, there were only five of us. We blamed the discrepancy on budget cuts in Mordor.

Hee! Thumbs up to a great story line, to great characterization (I cried over Qui-Gon's line about the Jedi selling their souls for a few credits), and to all-around fantastic storytelling! Woot!

~Kate

Author: kriÁ
Date posted: 2/26/2004 1:02:53 PM
kriÁ's Comments:

Sorry, but I don't speak english very well (I'm French...) !
I fand this fiction great and I'm sad there isn't any following episode... It would be perfect !
I like the stories which deal with the time when Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon's apprendice, and I think this one is the most original ! congratulations to the writter; But I agree with the fact it would be better with a happy end ( a lot of fictions are sad...)

Author: dianethx
Date posted: 4/16/2004 7:26:59 PM
dianethx's Comments:

I hope that the URL works. Here's the place to find the sequel to "But". I'm still working on it but it's already 140 pages long! Enjoy.

http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/10935143/p1

Author: Ani-maniac  (signed)
Date posted: 11/27/2004 12:45:33 AM
Ani-maniac's Comments:

I know a lot of people are saying this story is sad, But I found it hilarious!!!!!! It had both me, and my mom (She calls herself Darth Mom) laughing! To me it is such a funny idea that the Order would dismiss Jedi because of budget cuts, especially ones as talented as Qui-Gon and Mace Windu. I also have to say that I loved the idea of Qui-Gon saying that he'll keep the boots :) It was very good and so original. I hope to read the sequel! I also noticed that Madie asked what type of stone Qui-Gon gave to Obi-wan. Qui-Gon gave him a Force sensative stone from the River of Light located on his home world. (Although Qui-Gon never said what the name of his home planet was.) If you want to read more, you can read about Obi-wan and Qui-Gon's adventures in the Jedi Apprentice series. Technically they are "young reader books" but they are VERY GOOD. This particular story is found in book #3. I hope this answers your question :) May the Force be with you!!!

Author: jabba  (signed)
Date posted: 2/9/2005 5:56:29 PM
jabba's Comments:

i like that fan -fic quite alot but it was really sad. i kept thinking it would go on for longer where like when Obi -Wan becomes a knight and is sent on a mission and meets his master or somthing like that. and yeah like most people said SEQUEL! it really needs one.

PLEASE SEQUEL!!!

Author: me_luv_darth_squishy
Date posted: 7/5/2005 6:11:41 PM
me_luv_darth_squishy's Comments:

You may not believe it but I am crying. That is all that I can and will say.

MTFBWY

Author: Kat
Date posted: 11/14/2005 2:24:50 PM
Kat's Comments:

i agree. definatly need a sequel. (my eyes are burning....)

Author: DarthIshtar  (signed)
Date posted: 1/15/2007 12:20:25 PM
DarthIshtar's Comments:

I'm trying to read all of the fics at the archive and this came up on my random fiction hit today. I laughed at a lot of it, but you left so much unresolved and it felt unsatisfactory. I take some issue with any fic written to prompt a sequel. Anyway, it was funny anyway.

Author: Persephone_Kore  (signed)
Date posted: 2/3/2007 7:46:36 PM
Persephone_Kore's Comments:

Layren told me to read this, but I didn't get around to it at the time. I found it again and didn't figure out it was the one she'd been talking about until I was partway through.

The reviews are almost as interesting as the story, what with the differences in reactions -- tears and laughter and frustration. I can see why people wanted a sequel so much; I actually often like reading/writing stories that set up a cusp or change-point even if they don't follow out the extended AU, so continuing doesn't strike me as *necessary* and I can see why you originally meant to stop here -- but this setup and change definitely raise the question of how the saga-era events would play out. Or rather, what would happen instead, since this not only alters the Jedi and their involvement but seems to reflect a substantial difference in Palpatine's strategy.

Layren told me I should read "Betrayal," too, but while the concept here is certainly interesting for a short visit I suspect I'd be exhausted by an extended stay. I wish you well throughout it though. :)

(And yeah, the defiant bit about keeping the boots was prime. Funny in a painful way.)

Author: SugarBant Jinn  (signed)
Date posted: 2/8/2007 11:06:47 PM
SugarBant Jinn's Comments:

I loved this one! i've also read its counterparts, and i have one question: WHY HAVE'NT YOU FINISHED IT?!?!?! it's a great story! well worth finishing! if you have, can you please let us know where it's archived? :)
MTFBWY

Author: jarogue
Date posted: 8/20/2008 1:00:50 PM
jarogue's Comments:

Way to make me cry, girlfriend. Make a sequel where he comes back. I'm starting to cry tears on the keyboard and now I'm going to get electricuted. .....BWAWAWA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Sizzle pop steam.
Oooooo. Thanks a lot. Bury me... in hayden christensen's lawn... {death rattle}


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